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Literature Text

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
"Ponylitical Correctness"
By Alex Warlorn
Edited By Kendell2

Load Scene
Load Characters:

Random Select (22) background (ponies) And Load

Set Time: 2000

Camera Position Macro No.7

Program Run

"Surprise!" Is the first thing I remember. I was in Ponyville's library, where Pinkie Pie was throwing a party for the new girl. That's silly. I had to have existed before that. Something was wrong, everything overlapped, my eyes were wrong.

But nopony said anything about my eyes, so it must have been normal right?

End Scene

Then things got really weird.

I was dreaming, I think, but I don't remember being in bed.

"LOL" "OMG" "WTF" "/co/" saying my name was "Derpy Hooves". Name? I had a name? Wait, of course, everypony had a name, so why would I be different?




I'm at a lot of important things, but I couldn't remember how I got there or what I was doing. But then I remember I wasn't important so I didn't matter.

I dream that I'm a mail mare, and I'm not sure really what I do, so that makes sense that I am one right?

But then, I drop a lot of stuff on Twilight Sparkle by accident, but she gets all better soon. The pony I'm pretty sure is my boss doesn't look happy. I think I got fired.

But after Winter Wrap-Up, my name was Ditzy Doo and Derpy Hooves at the same time!

Then I think I got a little bit more important. It felt like I was a star rising in Princess Luna's story!

The dreams told me I had a daughter. Dinky Doo or Dinky Hooves, or like that. That she was the unicorn with a shade that almost like like mine, and with blond hair almost like mine. A daughter? That sounds nice. So I must be a mommy! But whose the father?

The dreams say I go on adventures across the universe and across time with Time Turner who is really an alien time traveler! Well...I guess I am...the dreams say I am right?

I also fight with Mayor Mare over a cursed doll, I end up wearing a bunch of bags as my costume for Nightmare Night...I dunno know why.

Sisterhood Social. Who is that with Dinky? Are they sisters?... Well it is the Sisterhood Social. I'm confused.

The dreams fix up everything...sort of...yes,, Amethyst Star, is my daughter, yes yes yes...uh, is she adopted? Is she a 'big sister' social program sort of thing for Dinky? Uh... I don't know.

But she's my daughter too and that's what counts!

I show up in places at random, nothing new about that. But now I'm showing up in places that ponies notice me! Not sure what I was doing in Fluttershy's chicken house or in Canterlot though.

I even stick my head out a curtain before a Hearth Warming Eve play and is pulled back in by somepony! They're really noticing me!






Load Scene Ponyville_Town_Hall_Exterior_(Damaged)
Load Lightning_Cloud
Load Characters


Set Time 1100

Camera Position Macro No 3

Program Run

"Careful Derpy!" Rainbow Dash was speaking to me. I guess my name is Derpy after all.  "You don't want to do more damage than you've already done."

Damage I did? Oh wait, I'm jumping on a thunder cloud, I wonder why? "I just don't know what went wrong."

I spoke? I SPOKE!


I've never spoken before! I mean, I've yelled 'Surprise!' and things like that and in my dreams I talk, but all by myself while I'm awake?! WOW! COOL! I MUST BE IMPORTANT NOW!

"Yeah, it's a mystery." Rainbow Dash says not sounding happy.

"Nice work Rainbow Dash." I helped her set a banner up and...bumped into a wooden pole that fell down, Rainbow Dash crashed into a big hole...

"You okay Rainbow Dash? Anything I can do to help?" I called down.

She said, BEGGING, begging?  "NO! Nothing! In the name of Celestia, just sit there and do nothing!"

I.... I do as I'm told.

"Oops, my bad." I said.

Mayor Mare gives a big speech, apparently Applejack is going to a big rodeo in Canterlot...why haven't I heard about it before? Then again I hadn't heard of Nightmare Night before, so it's all okay.

"Yeah Applejack! Whoo-hoo!" I cheered...and fell back into the hole...

. . .

. . .

. . .

The dreams, lots and lots of and lots are happy to hear me speak, to see the 'important ponies' talk with me.

Then a voice I hadn't heard before...they aren't happy...Why?

Load Scene:

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Open Edit Mode:

Huh? Where am I? This isn't like the dreams. There's . .  nothing...just gray with all these square lines everywhere. I try to move, but I can't. Huh?

What's going on? This isn't Ponyville. Where am I? What am I supposed to be doing? What was I doing? What's wrong! I don't want to get Rainbow Dash upset with me again!

. . .




My name...what was my name?

I knew what it was a minute ago! I was super sure of it! Where did it go?!

Editing Flash Model:

Huh? My eyes...they're...they're lined up? They're fixed? Yes, that's what it's supposed to be, they're fixed right?

Then why can't I remember what my name is supposed to be? Am I not supposed to have a name? Was it a mistake for me to have a name? I'm not special after all?

"Hello?" I called out. It's like there's no sound. I have words, I'm speaking. But it's like there nothing for what I'm saying to be. Where am I?

Re-dubb Voice Actor
Replace Voice Files

"Is anypony here?" I cover my mouth. That wasn't my voice. Was it? I had it, so that made it my voice? Right?



Load Scene Ponyville_Town_Hall_Exterior_(Damaged)
Load Lightning_Cloud
Load Characters


Set Time

Camera Position

Program Run

"Careful! You don't want to do more damage than you've already done." Rainbow Dash? Why didn't she say my name? I have a name right? I don't know?

"I just don't know what went wrong." I say, and I zap myself again, ICK!

I remember in some dreams, the voices talking about stories where some of the important ponies got to do the same thing over and over, and becoming really smart and really powerful and really everything and really "just perfect enough" as things repeat.

"Yeah, it's a mystery."

It's a lie. You can't change the past. You don't get second chances. You can't cheat fate.

I praise, because it is good work, even if she does it with a goof like me dragging her down. "Nice work Rainbow Dash."

I bump again, she falls through the deck again.

"You okay Rainbow Dash? Anything I can do to help?" I ask again.

"NO! Nothing! In the name of Celestia, just sit there and do nothing!" She pleads again, like I'm some shadow of misery that's she's endured her whole life.

"Oops, my bad." I sit down, and the floors breaks, and we both fall.

Mayor Mare makes her speech again.

"Yeah Applejack! Whoo-hoo!" I cheered again, and fell back into the hole again.

...the dreams are...they're sad...they're angry...they're upset they want me back to normal .  . . the voices...the dreams...they're meaningless...they're powerless...they can't help me.

The voices get louder, and louder, and louder. They're, there are so many.

They want me back? They want me back to normal?

They still...they still call me Derpy. Derpy Hooves. So am I still Derpy?

They care about me. They think about me. I...I matter to them?

I'm so confused, I don't really get these dreams. They're not like the real world, they're so far away and yet so close, so loud and yet completely silent, it doesn't make any sense at all. Are they like Discord? . . . I don't think most of them are like Discord. Most of them seem really nice...

They keep calling my name . . . maybe sleeping forever won't be so bad. It feels good to have a name.

They want me. They want Derpy Hooves.

Maybe…maybe I am special? Maybe . . . maybe I'm worth something after all.

Load Character Nameless_Gray_Pegasus.exe

Undo Raname

Undo Edit Flash Model


I'm awake.

Two unicorns are doing a song about their machine that can make cider fast and easy.

My eyes . . . everything is weird again . . . my eyes . . . are mine again?

I don't speak.

I keep waking up. But it feels like I'm waking up less and less. And only the dreams remain. Am I fading form world? But I don't mind. Because Sparkler, Time Turner, Dinky, they're all waiting for me. My family. Where the voices are. Sometimes they're confusing. Sometimes they're conflicting. Okay, they're always conflicting.

But that's fine. Because it also means they're alive. I'll keep growing. Keep changing. I'm not afraid. And I leave the waking world behind, the dream world will remain, and here, I know I'm safe and loved.

"We claim this planet in the name of the Sontaur empire!" Said a bunch of centaurs in potato shaped helmets.

"Derpy! I need a dozen bottle corks, a sling shot, and phonograph!" Shouted Time Turner.

Well . . . at least it's never boring! Ha ha!

And all my friends are here.
Did as part of a gift to Kendell2. The never planned for sequel to Stick To Foaluma.

Before Derpy Hooves was Derpy, she was Ditzy Doo, before that was randomly generated pegasus number #7. Now she is Nameless Gray Pegasus? What? Oh right, she had always been Nameless Gray Pegasus.

Status Quo Is God. No matter what the characters might think, oh right, it would be against the rules if they did that.

This has NOTHING WHAT SO EVER to do with my Pony POV Series.

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic is copyright of Hasbro

Coverart by Kendell2
© 2013 - 2021 alexwarlorn
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xXAMemetic-EngineBXx's avatar
Derpy. I feel sorry for you for your eyes. :iconderpyhoovesplz:

I wish she can earn a happy ending to have regular eyes.
alexwarlorn's avatar
At least she's not the brain damaged mare everypony mistakes her for.
alexwarlorn's avatar
They did say Derpy was klutzy, not retarded.
BrutalityInc's avatar
Both the this and the "Stick to the Foaluma" reminds me of John Carpenter's "In the Mouth of Madness", where the whole world becomes the story of a mad author with god-like powers and every person is just a character forced into a role and forced to do things because it is written so by the author, regardless of how horrible or how horribly written it is.

And it makes me wonder sometimes if we are unwittingly putting fictional characters in the same fate by the act of writing stories alone; everything they do, everything they say, even everything they THINK is dictated by authors themselves, and what happens to them including how the narrative begins and ends is determined by the whims of the author, with them having no say or free will in the matter. Think all the grim-dark fanfics where characters do horrible things to each other: all that carnage or suffering they go through, they don't want to do it, being so epically out of character, but they just can't stop it. 

Characters suffer because the authors write it to be so, doomed forever at the capricious whims of forces so far out of their control. 

Sure, it seems that it doesn't matter, because to us they are not real, just words written on paper or fiction typed in a Microsoft document, but who are we to judge what's real and what's not? For all we know this universe may be a simulation composed of data running in a ultra-spatial supercomputer belonging to a race of hyper-dimensional superbeings, and their reality is the imagination of a youngling in a race of even higher-dimensional plane-beings. 

Bear in mind I'm probably not making a coherent argument here. It's yet another wonderfully written and very depressing terror story; not quite horror as it doesn't make us feel shock, fear and disgust the way horror films and stories do, but terror, in the way the ideas in the story makes us think about the implications and fills us with existential dread.
alexwarlorn's avatar
Ironic since this was intended as a happier version than Stick to Foaluma. 
BrutalityInc's avatar
It's still terrifying.
PsychoDemonFox's avatar
Nicely done! Personally, I don't understand the whole Derpy debacle. Speaking as someone with Asperger's Syndrome, I actually like Derpy and the character they (or at least the fans) gave her.

I just don't get the notion that her name/eyes/voice are insulting to people with mental disabilities. I dunno, maybe it's just a personal thing, but I feel the fact that they tried to change her for these reasons insulting in its own ways...
alexwarlorn's avatar
It's called political correctness gone crazy. People will be offended by anything. 
ardashir's avatar
I understand that the whole mess got started by some anti-fan who decided to mess with Hasbro and the show by pretending to be offended by Derpy, and it just snowballed from there.
ardashir's avatar
alexwarlorn's avatar
I just mean, seeing it all fall apart because of one thrill seeker. 
ardashir's avatar
Yeah, that is a shame. Unfortunately entertainment companies these days have a choice of being either very careful (and offending the fans) or being not so careful and ending up slammed with lawsuits. No real way out.
alexwarlorn's avatar
And yet shows like Drawn Together exist that get away with murder.
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PsychoDemonFox's avatar
Yeah... I just wish some people weren't so thin-skinned. &^%$ng nutters ruing it for everyone else...
alexwarlorn's avatar
Everyone is thin skinned to someone. 

I was called something or other when I said calling the minions of a character who had nothing to do with any religion (fictional or otherwise) or divinity 'clerics' made absolutely no sense. 

I DIDN'T MIND when an evil/empty-shell/corrupted deity's minions in the same work were called Priests BTW. 
Oi, derpy will stilll be the same to fandom, they even said she will appear in season 4 btw…

Like the guy said, The first time Celestia was shown to actually have real, personal, relatable emotions.
alexwarlorn's avatar
Thanks. But I wish you had shown this to me AFTER I bought the comic at my local store.

And I wish people would stop trying to paint Celestia as the picture of incompetency when her character is meant to be the OPPOSITE of that.

One thing that annoys me is those who say that if Trixie instead of Twilight had been raised by Celestia, she'd have been just another Sunset Shimmer, which IMHO would imply SPIKE had no effect on Twilight and that Celestia hadn't learned from the tragedy with Sunset and wouldn't know or able to curb Trixie's worse tendencies.

And Derpy . . . yeah . . . for us least. Stay cool bro.
ItsfromPeople's avatar
A bittersweet ending and a very optimistic one as well. I like it!
alexwarlorn's avatar
THANKS! It was hard to give a positive outcome for a character in this verse. Believe me.

I guess I should be PROUD of that.
ItsfromPeople's avatar
The strange thing is sometimes I think that in this kind of scenario being the main character is actually worse as very little detail about you gets decided and done by others. Every step you take and every word you say comes from somebody else.

On the other side if it is correct what I heard then Derpy's eyes weren't even MEANT to be visible in her first appearance, making everything about her literally been born by a lucky accident and the following reactions of the viewers.
Persona22's avatar
Derpy Hooves... welcome to The Matrix.
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