literature

Pony POV Series Butterflies Pt 9 Rainbow Dash

Deviation Actions

alexwarlorn's avatar
By
76 Comments
3K Views

Literature Text

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Pony POV Series Butterflies Part 9
"Rainbow Dash" Side-Story?

I was awake. There was no denying it now. I kept wanting to return to dreamland, away from cold harsh reality and everything in it. More adventures with Daring-Do at my side was better than learning if it was all gone. Sleeping in is easy for me. Besides Tank, I had no one to look out for. And I was so fast at my job that it didn't matter I was late and I spent as much time napping as working. No one to worry about who couldn't look out for themselves. The six of us were A-Okay. Okay maybe Fluttershy, but she had Angel to look after her. Just the six of us, always has been, always will be. No more, no less, right?

The Super-Ultra-Extreme-Awesomazing Rainbow Dash is never scared. But I am. I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want it to be just a pillow next to me. I don't want it to be over! There was so much more to do! I want the headaches, I want her saying how great I am until even I get sick of it. I want the choir of having to carrying her up and down because her wings refused to grow. I want her to complain about being scared at night and wanting my protection. I want to tell the silly filly her nightmare of freezing to death in the clubhouse was just a nightmare.

I want to hear what crazy stunt she and her friends did today. I want her to blaspheme, er argue that SuperStallion beats Daring-Do! I want to tell those foals that if they call her chicken again I'll make them eat their rollerblades then made to talk with Cheerilee about threatening other ponies' brats! I want us to yell at each other, and me to later kiss her on the forehead and say she wasn't a bad kid.

She's a light that doesn't fade like fame, she's as precious as all my friends. No, she's not a friend, she's not a pet, she's my responsibility. I don't want her to simply fly away.

"Hey Dash, you awake?"

I opened my eyes. I saw a small orange filly with stunted wings and a violet mane. She looked at me with concern and maybe something a little deeper.

My mouth whispered, "You're still here."

"Well," Scoots looked embarrassed, "Tank's being stubborn this morning and doesn't want to give me a ride to the ground so if its not too much trouble-"

I hugged her, pulling her into my cloud bed with me.

"Whao! Dash!"

I stroked her little mane, "You're still here."

"Uh, Dash, this is kinda-"

I gentle, and kinda reluctantly put 'er down. "Alright squirt. Just-just give me a minute."

I can't believe just how long I've been looking after the little half-pint now. Helping her keep up her little act of her family being with her. Never mind how I helped with her lie that they had moved back to Cloudsdale and she should forward their mail to me and Scoots would be sticking around in Ponyville so she wouldn't have to switch schools. Heh.

Never mind Twilight saying how responsible and considerate I was being to Scootaloo's folks. Pinkie broke into a musical number. Fluttershy said how nice I was being to Scootaloo. Rarity liked I was finally acting like an adult.

I'm pretty sure AJ knows the truth, but if she does, she doesn't seem to think I'm telling one of the hurtful kinds of lies she hates so much. And she knows that kind of thing better than anypony else. I don't feel scared looking into her eyes anymore.

I noticed Scoots is just sitting there letting the gears turn in her head. Well not right now girl!

"Hey Squirt! Stare into space later! Get ready for school now! I'm due at weather control this morning too!"

"Oh! Right Dash! Got it!" She gave a tiny salute and got to work at light speed.

Heh. I'll admit it was fun having her around when I was holed up in that hospital and learned reading wasn't all that bad after all. Wait. She hadn't been there. Had she? I shook my head trying to unclog my memories. I remember our cover was almost blown and I remember Scoots saying she and Tank spent a few days with Rarity (she said Rarity was too neat for her). Well, she was there for me now. And I was here for her!

But the memories were . . . it was like they were fighting each other, the comfortable with here there, and another . . . I didn't want to think about it. It was awful, it wasn't dark, it wasn't twisted, but . . . it was an inescapable truth I felt that was bleeding off the edge of my being, ready to hammer down at any moment, any second, any heart beat. And it would all be over.

The image of a clock flashed in my head, a stop watch running backwards, no, not going backwards, counting down. And yeah, I knew to what. Dangit! I HATE these stupid metaphors!

Getting Scoots to accept I hadn't been discorded again when she found I had picked up a habit for reading was something else. And-

"No Scoots I promise! I'm not Twilight in my body! I'm me!"

Then came protecting the Daring-Do books I had borrowed when Scoots tried to get rid them convinced they were cursed and had brainwashed me to read them till the end which would unleash Daring-Do into the real world when finished.

I picture Daring-Do facing against the impossible odds and winning, I picture Spitfire refusing to give up even when she was questioning if she was really the hero others pictured her as. And with them both, Rainbow Dash, I, go forward.

I walk into the living room, squirt left her stuff out again, ugh. I'll have her clean it up when she gets back. Or maybe I'll just dump it all on her bed and cover it with a sheet, tee-hee, see how she likes it. Yeah, that would be fun.

Funny, I never cared how messed up this place was before, even when I had friends over. Not until she came in.

It's funny how things change when it's not just for yerself huh?

I don't know if she'll be with me tomorrow morning, or this evening. But as long as she is, I'll be here for her.

"Dash! I'm ready."

'I may not be. But that's never stopped be before.' "Comin' Scoots! Right with ya." 'Until you find your own wings,' I promised.
This chapter's canon status shall be decided upon by the readers.

Discord's beaten, but invisible scars take the longest to heal for the mane six and all of Ponyville. Anyone can die, living is the actually challenge.

Rainbow Dash wakes up from just another sleep. But are things the way they are supposed to be, or are they the way her choices have made them?

First Chapter: [link]
Previous Chapter: [link]
Next Chapter: [link]

Healing Ponies POV Series Gallery With Chapters and side stories IN ORDER:
[link]

Fanart and Fanfiction list:
[link]

BEHOLD: The Pony POV Series AS AN AUDIO ADAPTION (I said adaption! Not reading! Adaption! These guys are totally rewriting the script!)! [link]

The series' very one TV Tropes page! Check it out! [link]

The series that started it all, Discord Pony POV series!
[link]

This episode was edited super effectively by Kendell2 [link]

MLP: FiM: Copyright Hasbro

EDIT: How long will Rainbow Dash stay with Scootaloo? Only fate knows.


EDIT: 2012 02 4th
Added some new parts that take into account read it and weep. How'd it work out?
Published:
© 2012 - 2021 alexwarlorn
Comments76
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Frozen-Doopliss's avatar

So Rainbow gets to stay with Scootaloo for a bit, huh? Interesting to see the memories mingle.

alexwarlorn's avatar

Thanks. This is where things begin to build up to the monstrously long arcs coming up.

ItsfromPeople's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

The chapter begins with Rainbow Dash slowly awakening. She is thinking back to how it was not long ago, just her and her five friends. The pegasus was independent and had to worry about no one besides maybe Tank. No matter how much she loved this feeling of freedom, now the very idea of awakening without Scootaloo is painful. She knows that it isn't easy, she knows that it brings a lot of work and responsibility, something she absolutely HATED before. But she just loves the little filly with all of her quirks and doesn't want to miss a single moment of spending time with her. Rainbow Dash cares about the little pegasus who can't even fly like Scootaloo is her own child.

If the connection to the Heart World wouldn't have been broken, then the time she had spent with the filly could have been erased sooner or later if their bond would become impossible because of events of the Heart World. Then Rainbow Dash would be independent and alone again. But Scootaloo is still with her now. In fact the little pegasus is struck and needs help to get down to Ponyville. Happily her big sister embraces her but soon enough she gets over her emotional outburst.

Looking back at the recent events, Rainbow has spent a lot of effort to keep up the illusion of Scootaloo's parents allowing the little pegasus to stay here to be close to her own school. Her friends are also quite impressed by her hard work and careful nature. And while they (besides Applejack) don't know the truth, they are right about Dash having become much more mature. By now she no longer fears Applejack's eyes of truth. When she had to spend time in the hospital and begun to enjoy reading, Scootaloo and Tank were together with Rarity. This is of course only one truth. In the Heart World when Rainbow had her flying accident, Scootaloo wouldn't have stayed with Rarity as she simply hadn't bonded with Dash.

Just like Applejack it seems that Rainbow Dash would have a choice which past she wants to embrace. But it isn't even a question for her to choose a past without Scootaloo. The tiny pegasus did have a lot rather outlandish explanations for the reading habit of her idol: discording, body swapping or cursed books that seek to unleash the adventurer on the world. Amusingly Rainbow's attempt to convince her fan that she isn't Twilight works perfectly since the purple unicorn would have launched a convincing lecture why she is who she seems to be. By giving such a straightforward answer, Rainbow did identify herself.

Just like Spitfire is her idol in the real world, Daring-Do is her idol in the world of fiction and the proud pegasus draws strengths from both of them. While she never cared about her own mess but now that Scootaloo lives with her, cleaning up and teaching Scootaloo to clean up (in her own way) has become important to her. If Rainbow Dash would have continued to live alone, little would have changed. But now she is trying her best to allow Scootaloo to find the freedom she herself longs so much for.

Overall this was a heartwarming chapter that manages to show how much Rainbow cares about her little sister without using any overly long lectures or monologues. This short and to the point nature of the chapter perfectly fits the pegasus.
alexwarlorn's avatar
The review on this chapter reminds me of why I write.
No characters this time, good work on this short chapter, it was cute.
DracoDei's avatar
SPOILER ALERT!!!



-Sorry for the delay. I have been too wrecked to do this story justice with my critiques, so I haven't been reading it lately. Hopefully this has now changed for a while.

Just the six of us, always has been, always will be. No more, no less, right?
-So did "adopting" Scootaloo get retconed, or is she just afraid she WILL BE, or is this more about Scootaloo's real parents being found? Which of course presents the same question to a degree although with more denial on Dash's part due to the "always has been" part.

I want to tell the silly filly her nightmare of freezing to death in the clubhouse was just a nightmare.
-Nice reference.

"Hey Dash, you awake?"
-Ok, so just a worry then, and probably more about the finding the actual parents then the retcon.

Tank's being stubborn this morning and doesn't want to give me a ride to the ground so if its not too much trouble-
-At first I wondered if this was sarcastic, since I wouldn't think the copter could support that much. Then I remembered how strong tank was, and that the color on the shaft of the torta-copter matches Princess Celestia's magic. Princess Celestia has both the forethought, power, and skill to make the enchantment that strong.

I'm pretty such AJ knows the truth,
-sure

Stare into space later!
-Seems a bit of the pot calling the kettle black, but the point applies for both of them I guess?

Wait. She hadn't been there. Had she?
-So... didn't AJ or Pinkie tell them all about the parallel universes? Maybe it was that sort of confusion that had her thinking her deep relationship with Scoots didn't even exist, rather than WORRYING about it being retconned.

And it would all be over.
-Ah, so she is worried about retcon... wonder when AJ or Princess Celestia will be able to give her the all-clear? The fact that she is confused MAY imply that the split hasn't happened, so retcons are still possible (the stop being possible after the split, right?).

And yeah, I knew to what.
-Ah, to the split? Does AJ know when it will happen, or just when it MIGHT happen(due to Luna having to send her on the dream-quest?), or what?

Then came protecting the Daring-Do books I had borrowed when Scoots tried to get rid them convinced they were cursed and had brainwashed me to read them till the end which would unleash Daring-Do into the real world when finished.
-"The Star in Yellow" reference?

'Until you find your own wings,' I promised.
-Or get retconned away...
alexwarlorn's avatar
The real irony is how pretty all your questions end up being answered in story or in later chapters.

Right guess about those references. Both with the Yellow Star and Scootaloo's dream of freezing to death.

Here RD is having dreams and half-faded memories of alternate time lines. However RD doesn't accept their existence. And thinks her friends who accepted them are just being weird.

Happy to know you're still with them.

AND NO, AJ and Pinkie DID NOT tell their friends about alternate timelines. Rarity, and RD still have no clue about them. Fluttershy has a vague grasp on them due to touching Pinkie Pie's heart as Nightmare Whisper but that's about it.

This is basically RD waking up AFTER the story has become independent of canon.
twilightgamer92's avatar
Curiouser and curiouser. Seems that AJ's not the only one who's remembering events differently. Can't wait to see where this goes, and am interested to see what Pinkie stealing the TARDIS has to do with this.
alexwarlorn's avatar
"Curiouser and curiouser. Seems that AJ's not the only one who's remembering events differently. "

RD doesn't know what to make of them though. Since she' considers alternate universes silly.

" Can't wait to see where this goes, and am interested to see what Pinkie stealing the TARDIS has to do with this."

You'll see.
that last sentence would make a good title, "until you find your own wings".
alexwarlorn's avatar
Too bad I can't think of any of the later chapters that it would fit. But I hope that it carries some heart too.
Curse your ideas about Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo's relationship! I spent the majority of Read It and Weep episode waiting for Scoots to visit Rainbow in the hospital. And they missed such a heartwarming scene! Awwww :(

The new scene with Scoots mistaking Rainbow's reading habits for discording and "I'm not Twilight!" was priceless! I literally ROFL'd! Any chance we would see an expanded version of it from Scootaloo's point of view? And I like the idea of Daring-Do being the source of strength for Dash, just like Wonderbolts.

I think I forgot to include this thought in my previous review... With the mentions of RD being a comic book fan in various chapters and her friends knowing about it, the Mare-Do-Well incident makes much more sense. Girls tried to make an example for Rainbow using the context of superhero rivalry they thought she would find familiar.
alexwarlorn's avatar
"Curse your ideas about Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo's relationship! I spent the majority of Read It and Weep episode waiting for Scoots to visit Rainbow in the hospital. And they missed such a heartwarming scene! Awwww :("

I figured THIS would be the episode where Scoots pestered RD and had be dragged away by her parents to keep from bothering her.

"The new scene with Scoots mistaking Rainbow's reading habits for discording and "I'm not Twilight!" was priceless! I literally ROFL'd! Any chance we would see an expanded version of it from Scootaloo's point of view?"

Thanks. And I would normally comply, but I'm burned out as it is.

"And I like the idea of Daring-Do being the source of strength for Dash, just like Wonderbolts."

THanks.

"I think I forgot to include this thought in my previous review... With the mentions of RD being a comic book fan in various chapters and her friends knowing about it, the Mare-Do-Well incident makes much more sense. Girls tried to make an example for Rainbow using the context of superhero rivalry they thought she would find familiar."

Ah. Heh. Good things happen. Heh. THanks.
ItsfromPeople's avatar
As always the story is well writen and shows an unique interaction between two characters. It is somewhat bittersweet. While Rainbow Dash has grown from this conection, she will eventually loose this child to her real family, maybe in days, maybe in months. Then her responsibility will be put to a test.

The parts about cursed books and body swaping as Scootaloos explations of Rainbow Dashs sudden interest in books were hysterical. And then the new part suddenly makes a turn into heartwarming, when it is revealed, that Rainbow Dash actually drawing strength from the tales about facing against the impossible.
alexwarlorn's avatar
"Then her responsibility will be put to a test."

Yes. But the real question is, what will which choice show? She doesn't -want- Scoot's parents to be perfectly decent ponies who had to give up Scoots for reasons beyond their control.

"The parts about cursed books and body swaping as Scootaloos explations of Rainbow Dashs sudden interest in books were hysterical. "

Bout time I got another crowning moment of funny on the trope page. :-) I wanted to do more of it in dialogue, but I couldn't figure out how without breaking pace.

"And then the new part suddenly makes a turn into heartwarming, when it is revealed, that Rainbow Dash actually drawing strength from the tales about facing against the impossible."

I wonder if there's anyone out there who draws strength from inspiration tales from fiction land.

Made me think of this song for some reason what you just said. [link]
ItsfromPeople's avatar
"Made me think of this song for some reason what you just said."

Thanks for the song, that one is new to me. And it is really good.
Toonwatcher's avatar
I found a typo in the parts you recently added.

"Then came protecting the Daring-Do books I had borrowed when Scoots tried to get ride them"

I think you mean "when Scoots tried to get rid of them".
Youwillneverkno's avatar
I want this chapter to be canon
alexwarlorn's avatar
And that is your desire and wish. To each their own. :-) In short, it is if you want. :-) And many seem to agree with you.
OrphiusOlyandra's avatar
Okay, critique like I promised! Hopefully I'll have something worth while to say and let me know if what I say is what you're looking for or if you want me to look at a particular aspect or whatnot.

First of, I'm noticing a constant use of short sentences in quick succession. For example:
"Pinkie broke into a musical number. Fluttershy said how nice I was being to Scootaloo. Rarity liked I was finally acting like an adult."
"I was awake. There was no denying it now. ... Sleeping in is easy for me. Besides Tanks, I had no one to look out for."
I mean, in the second example, you have a longer sentence in the middle, but in my opinion it's too many in too short of a time frame. Over all, it gives her thought process a more stunted and stilted feel in addition to make the flow of the piece very much stop-start. I'm uncertain if that's an effect you're deliberately going for though.

"Or maybe I'll just dump it all on her bed and cover it with a sheet, tee-hee, see how she likes it."
Love that bit. It's so Dash while still remaining a very motherly/parental thing to do.

" 'I may not be. But that's never stopped be before.' "Commin' Scoots! Right with ya." 'Until you find your own wings,' I promised. "
I have issue with this mainly because in all the previous sections you've had thought free of quotation marks and here you suddenly decide to change and add in speech in the middle as well. Something along the lines of:
"I may not be, but that's never stopped me before. "Comin' Scoots! Right with ya." And I promise I'll never stop until I find your own wings."
Of course that's personal preference and if I was writing it. A tad more wordy too. It's really a stylistic choice.

Other than that, not much more to say. It was a short chapter so not as much for me to talk about and sink my teeth into. And I'm tired so maybe I'll pick up something more in the morning when I can't actually keep my eyes open. At any rate, I really like how you add colloquialism into the thoughts as well, adds a real something. I may have to steal that one from you for my own writing.
alexwarlorn's avatar
"Okay, critique like I promised! Hopefully I'll have something worth while to say and let me know if what I say is what you're looking for or if you want me to look at a particular aspect or whatnot."

You're honest with your opinion and your review, that's all I can ask for.

"First of, I'm noticing a constant use of short sentences in quick succession.
For example:
"Pinkie broke into a musical number. Fluttershy said how nice I was being to Scootaloo. Rarity liked I was finally acting like an adult."
"I was awake. There was no denying it now. ... Sleeping in is easy for me. Besides Tanks, I had no one to look out for."
I mean, in the second example, you have a longer sentence in the middle, but in my opinion it's too many in too short of a time frame. Over all, it gives her thought process a more stunted and stilted feel in addition to make the flow of the piece very much stop-start. I'm uncertain if that's an effect you're deliberately going for though."

Really? That's a problem? Since this is RD, I figured short and concise sentences would work for her. Are you saying they just feel broken? How can this be fixed then?


"Or maybe I'll just dump it all on her bed and cover it with a sheet, tee-hee, see how she likes it."
Love that bit. It's so Dash while still remaining a very motherly/parental thing to do.

Thanks. Happy that one worked out.

" 'I may not be. But that's never stopped be before.' "Commin' Scoots! Right with ya." 'Until you find your own wings,' I promised. "
I have issue with this mainly because in all the previous sections you've had thought free of quotation marks and here you suddenly decide to change and add in speech in the middle as well. Something along the lines of:
"I may not be, but that's never stopped me before. "Comin' Scoots! Right with ya." And I promise I'll never stop until I find your own wings."
Of course that's personal preference and if I was writing it. A tad more wordy too. It's really a stylistic choice.

You made a good point. This was meant mostly to quote her direct thoughts.


"Other than that, not much more to say. It was a short chapter so not as much for me to talk about and sink my teeth into."

I've begun to wonder if this chapter is too short for its own good.

"And I'm tired so maybe I'll pick up something more in the morning when I can't actually keep my eyes open. At any rate, I really like how you add colloquialism into the thoughts as well, adds a real something. I may have to steal that one from you for my own writing."

Thanks for this deep review and giving me real useful feedback.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In