Pilot: SHOE

3 min read

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alexiuss's avatar
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176 Comments
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DEAR SHOE,

THAT'S RIGHT YOU ARE A SHOE.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT NOT BEING A SHOE BECAUSE IN MY MIND YOU ARE ONE AND THAT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE.
AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU CONCEPTUALIZED AS A SHOE IN MY IMAGINATION YOU SHALL REMAIN AS SUCH.
THIS MAKES ME WONDER WHETHER ALL PEOPLES AND OBJECTS CAN BE CONCEPTUALIZED AS SHOES AND THUS BECOME SUCH, GRANTING ME ABSOLUTE POWER OVER THEM. DOES SNIPPY HAVE A CLEVER ARGUMENT? NO HE DOESN'T, HE'S A SHOE. SHOES CAN'T HAVE CLEVER ARGUMENTS.
I FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD HAS BEEN LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS NOW THAT EVERYTHING IS UNDER MY CONTROL, NOW THAT YOU ARE ALL SHOES. I NO LONGER HAVE TO ANSWER TO MY REGRETS AND PAST MISTAKES BECAUSE THEY ARE SIMPLY SHOES.
I WAS EVEN ABLE TO PAINT PHOTOSHOP IN PURPLE COLOR (TO PLEASE CAPTAIN) AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN PUT UP A PROPER FIGHT BECAUSE I IMAGINED HER AS A SHOE.



MAYBE I CAN IMAGINE THE FLESHY PSYCHIATRIC LAWYERS THAT HOLD ME HOSTAGE  AS A SHOE AND THEY WILL LET ME GO FREE, SO THAT I CAN SERVICE CAPTAIN FOREVER AND EVER?

SOMEDAY I'LL BUILD A HOUSE... NO A BOAT SHAPED LIKE A SHOE AND SAIL ACROSS THE OCEAN TO THE PARADISE LAND OF PANCAKES AND MERRYNESS.

AND ALL SHALL BE WELL.

© 2012 - 2021 alexiuss
Comments176
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NightmaresInChibi's avatar
As bizarre as this might sound, I have actually taken to using Pilot's methods of coping with life. Stressful people are so much easier to deal with when they are shoes, and the land of pancakes of merriness is waiting for me. Somewhere. Yeah, maybe this is a bad sign, but whatever.
The-Hades-Virus's avatar
But where do boots come from. O.o
Mind blown. I shall never regard shoes the same way again.
Ang3lixDevilXP's avatar
/flings a shoe at Pilot's head

HERE IS MY ARGUMENT.

//jokes, jokes. I love Pilot.
catflavored's avatar
I'd say he has problems, yeah.
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Neutralgrey2's avatar
A case of beautiful voluntary insanity.
btw, the fact that captain's a girl brings some weird awesomeness to the story.
Crimson-Squirrel's avatar
Captain being a girl =/= fact
It is still speculation
Neutralgrey2's avatar
Don't contradict me mister.
HoloSnipe's avatar
Wow,,, this is actually pretty deep, and, honestly, it kind of frightens me. It makes you wonder if Pilot is truly psychotic, or if he's just hiding behind a shield of insanity to keep the cold, dead world out.
DarkestWish's avatar
Wow, I didn't realise his metal state was this fractured.
rarino's avatar
Yes, yes it is because some devious villain turned it into a shoe!
DarkestWish's avatar
:iconshockplz:
But... what a devious and evil thing to do!
How dare they turn his mind into a shoe!
rarino's avatar
They are obviously the most devious deviant on deviantArt
DarkestWish's avatar
They're a devious deviant on deviantArt? They must deviously put devious pictures of devious shoes on their deviantArt... deviously.
rarino's avatar
....That was deviously confusing.
DarkestWish's avatar
I'm a devious deviant and that was my devious intent :XD:
rarino's avatar
NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
SilverNinjaWolf's avatar
Island of Pancakes and Merryness? I'm sorry, Pilot, but someone mysteriously turned all the pancakes into shoes...
Up-Your-Arsenal-N90's avatar
I approve of this comment!

It blew my shoe of a mind away.
Veji-chan's avatar
And this is how the Woman Who Lived in a Shoe saw the world. Obviously.
Silvertide's avatar
I'm not sure why, but I couldn't help but think of the time someone threw a shoe at George W. Bush as I read this...
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