PILOT: THINGS I LIKE

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THE TINY TAG ON MY INSIDE FOLD OF MY JACKET SAYS "SG CHRISTOPHORUS HATCHENSON".
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SOMEONE I LIKE.
MAYBE I KILLED THEM FOR THIS JACKET.
THIS JACKET IS SOFT AND FITTING.

I AM PILOT. CAPTAIN CALLS ME PILOT, SO I MUST BE PILOT.
I FLY THINGS. I FLEW THE CAPTAIN ONCE ON A MISSION OF GREAT IMPORTANCE. WE HAD A SKY-ACCIDENT.
CAPTAIN SAVED MY LIFE FROM THE BURNING CARCASS OF THE FLYING COW.
CAPTAIN IS MAGIC, LIKE HARRY POTTER BUT MORE MAGIC.  
CAPTAIN CAN STOP CLOCKS, I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE SEEN IT. THE COW'S CLOCKS AND DIALS FROZE IN PLACE WHEN CAPTAIN GAVE THEM A STERN LOOK.
THE MIRACLES OF CAPTAIN ARE INFINITE AND GREAT.
CAPTAIN LIVES FOREVER. I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.

THE CITY OF THE DEAD IS MY HOME.
THE DEAD LIKE TO PLAY GAMES AND TALK TO ME, BUT THEY AREN'T VERY INTERACTIVE, UNLESS PROVOKED. IF YOU LOOK FROM THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE, YOU CAN SEE THEM MOVE.

ONE DAY, THE CAPTAIN WOKE ME UP SO I COULD SERVE HIM FOR ALL TIME. IT'S A SHAME THE SAME THING WON'T HAPPEN TO SNIPPY BECAUSE HE'S INSOLENT AND TRIES TO ESCAPE FROM CAPTAIN'S ORDERS.
SNIPPY ALWAYS TELLS ME LIES. HE SUCKS.
I TRY TO CONVINCE HIM THAT CAPTAIN IS A REAL WIZARD AND RULER OF THE UNIVERSE, BUT SNIPPY IS A STUBBORN GOAT. HE SAYS "IT'S ALL MAGIC TRICKS" AND "YOU ARE GULLIBLE".
I CALLED HIM A "JIGGLY SLUG" AND PRESENTED HIM MY PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
SNIPPY CALLED MY PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE "PHOTOSHOP". I DON'T KNOW WHAT PHOTOSHOP IS, BUT IT SOUNDS SCARY. IT REMINDS ME OF THOSE OLD MAGAZINES I FOUND OF GIRLS WITH GLOSSY FACES. I THINK I WILL NAME MY CATERPILLAR FRIEND "PHOTOSHOP". THE CATERPILLAR GETS ALL GLOSSY AND ANGRY IF I TRY TO HELP HER FLY. IT TOOK A LOT OF WORK TO CATCH PHOTOSHOP AND TIE BALLOONS TO HER. NOW SHE CAN FINALLY BE FREE, LIKE A SKY-SHARK. SNIPPY CLAIMS HE IS A SMART, BUT I KNOW BETTER. REAL SCIENTISTS CREATE SKY-SHARKS. SNIPPY HASN'T CREATED ANYTHING LATELY.
PHOTOSHOP ROAMS THE SKY, I HOPE SHE LANDS ON SNIPPY.

I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN PLANES ROAMED THE SKY EVERYDAY, WITH WHOOSHING NOISES AND CHEM-TRAILS. IT WAS BOUTIFUL.
I LIKE PLANES.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE?

© 2012 - 2021 alexiuss
Comments255
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Samimimima's avatar
The photographic evidence... MIND-EXPLOSION!!! :O
That. Was. Awesome. I AM NOW A TRUE BELIEVER OF CAPTAIN'S MAGIC! (Thank you, Pilot!)
I like Zee Captain and Zee Mug!
of-the-skies's avatar
I see some possible Portal 2 references... :giggle:
8Darkness-Seeker8's avatar
Oh pilot, you're an inspiration to us all.... and I like trains
Mogura-no-kanji's avatar
great, I followed the link on google+
fellcrusader's avatar
OH OH!! COOKIES!!! SHINY COOKIES!!! I like planes too pilot, your not alone.
StitchedPuppet13's avatar
So his name is Chris?
... I can see that :)
Charles
Alex
Chris
and... Captain... :salute:
thegannet's avatar
SG CHRISTOPHORUS HATCHENSON is pilot before he was braindamaged in the crash and went insane in the wastes of new nyc.
ArtisticMonkey21's avatar
PILOT FTW!!!!!!! zee captin RULES WITH EPICNESS but pilots my favorite
TheGhost2's avatar
Photographic evidence:

MIND=BLOWN
SonicWolvelina99's avatar
I clicked on PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
StarrBryte's avatar
I like you, Pilot. I like you.
Sgt-Hawk-451's avatar
i clicked the link to pilots PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE and my brain fucking exploded when I saw it...
Tsuki-Hana05's avatar
ManlyFish's avatar
Ooooh I love planes~
NoriMori's avatar
"ONE DAY, THE CAPTAIN WOKE ME UP SO I COULD SERVE HIM FOR ALL TIME. IT'S A SHAME THE SAME THING WON'T HAPPEN TO SNIPPY…"

Nice shout-out to Portal 2! XD I like you even more than I did two minutes ago! XD

Lol, poor Snippy… Engineer hates him, Captain plays horrible tricks on him, and now I find out that Pilot also hates him! :( Now I won't look at the Pilot-rescuing-Snippy parts the same way ever again! *sadfacde* I thought he really cared about Snippy, which was cute… But he was just following orders. :(
HOLY CRAP that pic of kim jong il REALLY has a picture of the captain in it! wth!? was that doctored?
NoriMori's avatar
I had to look at it again to see that. XD Who knows…
Chainedeboy's avatar
Zee Captain behind Kim Jong-il... Well it is Zee Captain after all.
Jadeitor's avatar
I also like planes!!! XD
Oh gosh, the photo...
HokoriTamashi's avatar
I really like sail boats
Echocresten's avatar
that kim jong-il one is so funny XDDD
especially since i'm korean
NotPatDammit's avatar
wait... is captain kim jong-il! D: holy shit he died like two weeks ago didnt he!
Blight215's avatar
no you silly, look behind Kim jong-il
in the other plane.
He was there!
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