PILOT: A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE
|4 min read
alexiuss's avatar
By alexiuss   |   
198 287 19K (1 Today)
Published: February 13, 2012



EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T BORN A "LITTLE GIRL IN A STRANGE AND FORGOTTEN COUNTRY FORMERLY KNOWN AS GERMANY" , AND I CAN'T MAGICALLY TRANSCEND SPACE-TIME, SOMEDAY I WANT TO GROW UP TO BE JUST LIKE CAPTAIN... FOR SURELY EVEN A MICRO-SECOND REALIZATION OF CAPTAIN-NESS WOULD MAKE ME ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE.

I WOULD SHARE THE DOGMAS OF CAPTAINIA WITH ALL PEOPLES OF ALL COLORS, BUT MY ONLY CAPTIVE AUDIENCE IS SNIPPY AND EVEN WORSE, HE IS ONLY CAPTIVE BECAUSE I TIED HIM TO A COUCH WHILE HE SLEPT AND HE REFUSES TO BELIEVE IN CHURCH OF CAPTAIN BECAUSE HE CALLS HIMSELF "ATHEIST".
SUCH DIRTY WORDS HE SPEAKS. I COVERED KITTY-HAWK'S EARS. NOBODY SHOULD GROW UP TO BE LIKE SNIPPY.
JUST LOOK WHERE HE IS - TIED TO A COUCH AND YELLING OBSCENITIES.

SNIPPY SHOUTS THAT CAPTAIN IS "TROLLING YOU AND MAKING STUFF UP"

CAPTAIN LIVES NOT UNDER BRIDGES, I TELL SNIPPY.

I KNOW THINGS.
SECRET THINGS, THAT THIS SLUG IS UNAWARE OF. TROUBLESOME THINGS THAT CAPTAIN SHARED WITH ME ON OUR FLIGHT TO ATOMIZE EUREKA.

ONE MILLION VOICES OF EUREKA STILL SING IN MY CRANIUM. THEY ASK ME TO STOP. BUT I KNOW BETTER. I KNOW THAT THEY ARE ALL JUST DUST NOW, AND WHAT HAS BEEN DONE CANNOT BE RETRACTED. SILLY TOASTERS. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT ON THEIR BLUE TIARAS THAT DAY.

I HAD A BLUE TIARA ONCE. IT MADE ME SEE THINGS, THINGS THAT WEREN'T THERE. NAMES AND PRICES, GRAPHS AND ICONS. I THINK I COULD SOMEHOW READ THEM BACK THEN AND FOLLOW THEIR INSTRUCTIONS, BUT NOW THEY SEEM LIKE UNWASHED LIES.
AND MOST UNWASHED LIES THEY WERE INDEED, FOR CAPTAIN HAS TOLD ME SO.

ONE DAY, MY TIARA BROKE.
I STILL CARRY A PIECE OF THE BROKEN TIARA IN MY POCKET, AS A REMINDER. IT CRACKLES WITH A VOICE OF METAL, SHARING TALES OF A DISTANT PLACE. IT WANTS ME TO VISIT THIS PLACE OF WONDERS, BUT I KNOW BETTER... FOR EVEN THOUGH THE TIARA WOULD PROVIDE ME A TICKET, IT IS A ONE WAY TRIP WITHOUT A RETURN POLICY.

Comments287
anonymous's avatar
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Creepiest's avatar
CreepiestHobbyist General Artist
"SNIPPY SHOUTS THAT CAPTAIN IS 'TROLLING YOU AND MAKING STUFF UP'"

"CAPTAIN LIVES NOT UNDER BRIDGES, I TELL SNIPPY."


I snorted.
Acnologia's avatar
My god... my god...
skinamulink's avatar
skinamulinkHobbyist General Artist
Having the voices of millions trapped in his head, crying out to stop his from atomizing them in nuclear hell-fire? forever? explains allot, actually.
thetempegrouch's avatar
My god, now I feel sorry for him :(
He went nuts after piloting a plane which nuked a city, Eureka. And now he's still hearing the million voices of the city in his head. This...suddenly seems less funny now when I got my head around it....
FuzzySlipper's avatar
FuzzySlipperHobbyist Traditional Artist
So Pilot and Captain bombed New York? O_O And Pilot once had a neurolink (or whatever it was called) to ANNET, but it broke? Holy crap . . . O_O
StitchedPuppet13's avatar
StitchedPuppet13Hobbyist General Artist
Pilot... kinda scares me now. It freaks me out that he was not crazy in a cute way, but really really twisted.
BTW, Snippy is an Athiest? :\
Snippy LOLOLOL "Trolling..."
Purple12345's avatar
Purple12345Hobbyist General Artist
Pilot is so strangely cute in a way.
fafatonk3kusruk's avatar
fafatonk3kusrukHobbyist Artisan Crafter
please turn your capslock off while thinking
NoriMori's avatar
Lol, he can't. Just like Captain, he must showcase his insanity by thinking in all caps. XD
fafatonk3kusruk's avatar
fafatonk3kusrukHobbyist Artisan Crafter
uhm...agreed about the insanity :rofl:
Reedpiper's avatar
o u o isee

i see what you did there.

Its sort of sad to think that whats left of all humanity are the people who didn't completely immerse themselves into the net.
DarkestWish's avatar
He still has some of the blue tiara (favourite name for them) in his pocket? Interesting... And is that ANNET talking through the wire? Or just static, or something that Pilot hears in his head? Like all the 'voices of Eureka', which I'm a assuming are people and in his head and not really there. But why did he go with Captain to atomize them? I'm thinking Captain knows far more and's much smarter than he likes to let on.
Crimson-Squirrel's avatar
Crimson-SquirrelHobbyist General Artist
Well, he was a pilot so I'm guessing that maybe he originally heard them screaming to stop into an earpiece (or some other audio equipment one would assume a plane would have to communicate with landing towers) as he and captain flew towards the building with a bomb.

So... At this point I'm fairly certain that Pilot is directly responsible for the nuclear fallout and Captain was the little birdy in his ear chirping away to do it.
NoriMori's avatar
Well, Engineer's the one who ordered the nuclear bombardment, but otherwise, yeah. That came as a huge shock to me. I knew he flew with Captain "on a mission of great importance", but it never occurred to me what that meant.
Happyanime99's avatar
Happyanime99Hobbyist General Artist
Is the "blue tiara" actually a radio of some sort?
And I wonder what pilot meant by "For even though the tiara would buy me a ticket, it is a one way trip with no return policy"?
This is getting even better and better. :D
NoriMori's avatar
The "blue tiaras" are those headbands people used to connect to the neural network.
Happyanime99's avatar
Happyanime99Hobbyist General Artist
...Oh yeah, I forgot about that. ^^!
Sorry.
NoriMori's avatar
Lol, don't be sorry! ^^
AdramelechBlackFlame's avatar
AdramelechBlackFlameHobbyist General Artist
holy shit, hes talking about the robot thin Engi made, his didnt work, so he didnt die! awsome! (though this may also go some way to explain the nature of his rather obvious mental.......limittations.)
NoriMori's avatar
Snippy said that people who stored most of their memories on the net couldn't function without the neural network. Maybe Pilot stored a lot of his memories on the network, so the reason he's crazy is because his headband broke and the network was destroyed. That's one theory I've heard, and it makes perfect sense.
AdramelechBlackFlame's avatar
AdramelechBlackFlameHobbyist General Artist
thats kinda what i meant.
NoriMori's avatar
I know. That's why I brought it up. XD
AdramelechBlackFlame's avatar
AdramelechBlackFlameHobbyist General Artist
ah. good-o.
lydiavaldez26's avatar
lydiavaldez26Student Traditional Artist
pilot has issues. me gusta snippy!
anonymous's avatar
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