No Such Luck (Alternate Ending)

[The softball playoffs. The family and Bobby are there to support Lynn. The squirrel mascot is dancing a little less energetic than usual.]

Lola: "What's with that squirrel today? His choreography is so dated."

Mascot:[in a familiar voice] "Hey, man! You try dancing in this heat!"

[It's revealed to be Lincoln in the runabout costume]

Lincoln:[to the viewers] "My plan is simple: I watch the game in disguise, and when the Squirrels win, everyone will see I'm not bad luck."

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Baseball Announcer: "Talk about bad luck. Everything is going wrong with the Squirrels today. What do you think, Pep?"

Pep:[downright bored] "I think I've wasted my life."

Baseball Announcer: "Just look at our poor squirrels!"

[Margo takes a swing and flings herself into the umpire and the bat hits her helmet. Two more squirrels collide into each other and miss the catch. One Squirrel tosses the bat right at Lincoln by accident. Lynn pitches and the opposing batter hits the ball right back her, knocking her socks, shoes, and hat off and making her spin in mid-air before landing on the ground.]

Baseball Announcer: "Yowza." [shows the score: Hazeltuck Lions: 3, Royal Woods Squirrels: nothing.] "Two outs in the bottom of the ninth, and the bases are loaded. Lynn Loud steps up to the plate, but with the luck she's been having today, the Squirrels are looking a whole lot like roadkill."

Luna: "Way harsh, dude!"

Baseball Announcer: "I think you're rubbing off on me, Pep."

Pep:[dully] "Oh, I have that effect on people."

Baseball Announcer: "The windup, the pitch."

[Lynn swings and misses.]

Umpire: "Strike one!"

Lincoln:[scared] "Lynn's right! I am bad luck!"

[Lynn swings and misses again.]

Umpire: "Strike two!"

Lincoln:[to the viewers] "Maybe I can move into Lisa's fallout shelter. Lead walls will keep my bad luck from affecting anyone."

Baseball Announcer: "And the pitch!"

[The sound of the ball getting hit by the bat is heard and the rest of Lynn's team runs the remaining bases.]

Baseball Announcer: "It's going...it's going...IT'S GONE!!! LYNN LOUD HITS A GRAND SLAM!!! SQUIRRELS WIN! SQUIRRELS WIN!"

[The family and Bobby cheer for Lynn as she makes her run around the field.]

Baseball Announcer:[clinging to Pep]"SQUIRRELS WIN! SQUIRRELS WIN!" [knocks Pep down]

[Lynn finishes her run and gets picked up by her family in celebration of her victory.]

Family: "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ROCKED IT, LYNN-SANITY!"

[Lincoln in disguise joins them.]

Lola:[to the mascot] "Um, do you mind, fur ball? This is a family moment."

Lincoln: "Guys, it's me!" [takes the mask off]"I was here the whole time! This proves it. I'm not bad luck."

Lynn: 'Oh my gosh, you're right. Wow, Lincoln, I'm really sorry."

[The rest of the family apologizes.]

Lincoln: Come on. Let’s go home.

[Later, they arrive back in their house.]

Lincoln: And, you locked me out of my room.

Luna: We’re sorry for that.

Lincoln: I don’t think I told you I was bad luck. I only told Leni, Luan, Lana, Lola and Lily. And Lori and Lisa. Not you or Lucy.

Luna and Lucy: Oh.

Luna: I don’t know. This feels like a bad episode from a show that’s running out of ideas.

Lincoln: Okay. And can you please unlock my room for me?

Sisters: Sure thing, Lincoln.

[Later, Lincoln’s room is unlocked and his furnature was back.]

Lincoln: Thanks Girls!

All: You’re welcome.

Lincoln: Mom, Dad? Why did you kick me out of the house? It was against the law

Rita: We’re sorry!

Lynn Sr: We promise to never do it again!

Lincoln: Good. You’re not bad luck.

All: Really?

Lincoln: No! You all are really, really bad luck!

All: What?!

Lincoln: Which is why I’m making you all wear squirrel suits for the rest of your lives

[They all gulp. Lincoln grabs 11 squirrel mascots and put them on his parents and sisters, minus Lily.]

Lincoln: Enjoy your life in suits! Hahahaha!

Fade to the sisters all waking up from their nightmares.]

Girls: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

[They pant heavily, before realizing it was all a nightmare. Lincoln and the parents come up.]

Lincoln: Girls! I heard you scream! What’s wrong?

Lynn: We had a nightmare

Rita: What was it about?

12 MINUTES LATER

Lincoln: I’m sorry this happened. I know you would never label me bad luck, and you’d never neglect me.

Leni: We’d totes never do that.

Luna: Yeah dude. It’d be super bogus.

Lynn: We’d be the worst if we did that.

Rita: We love you very much, sweetie.

Lincoln: I love you too.

Rita: How about we all sleep in the living room tonight?

Lincoln: Sure.

[Everyone headed to the living room to sleep together. Once they fell asleep, they no longer had any bad dreams that night. They were glad that they were still together like a loving family.]

End