AlessaNitara's avatar
right behind you.
29 Watchers6.4K Page Views103 Deviations
The Light and The Dark
3
5
S
Scared Stiff
I'm not moving a thing she touched. I almost don't bare looking at them. At the things she will take with her when she moves out, at the things that we got and did together, at the things that were mine but became ours. I won't touch a thing in this apartment until it is covered by dust and cigarette smoke. I will drown this bed and couch in tears until I've run dry. I will deny the fact that I made her leave me, my woman, my cutest, my epitome of kindness, that I have lost her and that there is nothing else I can do to keep her in my life. I will watch the dust bunnies grow in hope they have some of her hair in them, some of her skin parti
0
0
H
Her time to dance
Her time to dance All I wanted was to set her free on that day I approached her. The one in the shadows, unbound into the light. To find a new soul, a new body to trail and comply with. It's time. She's been with me for such a long time, she's seen my heart break, heard my biggest lies and smelled my fear like metal in contrast to my natural wood. She waited silently and motionless, not to be perceived in the dark corner of this room. My mind. I danced and fell and hurt. I need a rest. And now, Nitara is dancing...
0
2
For My Feline Overlords
1
1
O
On The Telephone
She sighs. There's a long pause. They said it all. They don't know where to go from here. She desperately waits for him to give up. He desperately fears the sound of the dial tone. The line from where she hesitates high up above to the satellites and back down to where he waits. Just like their connection is destined by the stars. She can feel his smile. "Stop thinking that!" She can now hear his smile getting bigger. "Didn't you like it?" Her smile travels a thousand miles and hits him right in the heart. "I have to go now." She whispers into the mouthpiece. Right into his ear. Shivers down his spine. 'You belong with me
3
1
T
The Queen Of Feelings
Fear of the unknown replaced with fear of loss. She avoids mirrors, she looks away when someone's addressing her. Her drive is fear. Fear is a liar. Fear is a prison. Fear is the one thing that keeps her from breaking loose. The one thing that keeps her breathing. Fear of something new replaced with fear of living without the old. She's not a bad person, she doesn't do it on purpose. Her drive is curiosity. Curiosity makes you do the most stupid things. Curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity is the one thing that will always keep her hungry. The one thing that keeps her going. Fear of standing still replaced with fear of moving too
0
0
T
Talking To Shadows
"Can I do this?" I ask her, the one in the shadows, the one who knows everything about me. She doesn't move at the sound of my voice. It's been some time since we last talked. Every day I felt her by my side, even after I had thought my ignorance would have sent her astray. "I mean it, do you think I can do this?" I insinst, well knowing I sound desperate. Which, for the first time in years, I am. Her eyes sparkle in the corner of the room I call my mind. She's looking at me now, aware but not yet interested. I know her good enough to tell that. "You've done it before." Indifferent, a nuance of boredom in her voice. Tones I haven't hear
4
3
A
Acceptance - Fifth stage of grief
"Thank you" she whispers. She has nothing left to say. Went through the five stages of grief, The denial was easier said than done with a mind like hers, The temporary anger did not help her pure and strong heart, The bargaining was too embarrassing now that she learned about pride, The depression did not linger long, it just came to say "Hi! It's me again. See you soon!" And now Acceptance. He was there because she had asked for him. It could have been anybody by that time. Fate or chance, she doesn't even care, made it him. The average douchebag next door. Under different circumstances, she would not even have laid an eye on him.
3
0
lay down child
2
2
fuck soulless forever
1
0
See all
The Light and The Dark
3
5
S
Scared Stiff
I'm not moving a thing she touched. I almost don't bare looking at them. At the things she will take with her when she moves out, at the things that we got and did together, at the things that were mine but became ours. I won't touch a thing in this apartment until it is covered by dust and cigarette smoke. I will drown this bed and couch in tears until I've run dry. I will deny the fact that I made her leave me, my woman, my cutest, my epitome of kindness, that I have lost her and that there is nothing else I can do to keep her in my life. I will watch the dust bunnies grow in hope they have some of her hair in them, some of her skin parti
0
0
H
Her time to dance
Her time to dance All I wanted was to set her free on that day I approached her. The one in the shadows, unbound into the light. To find a new soul, a new body to trail and comply with. It's time. She's been with me for such a long time, she's seen my heart break, heard my biggest lies and smelled my fear like metal in contrast to my natural wood. She waited silently and motionless, not to be perceived in the dark corner of this room. My mind. I danced and fell and hurt. I need a rest. And now, Nitara is dancing...
0
2
For My Feline Overlords
1
1
O
On The Telephone
She sighs. There's a long pause. They said it all. They don't know where to go from here. She desperately waits for him to give up. He desperately fears the sound of the dial tone. The line from where she hesitates high up above to the satellites and back down to where he waits. Just like their connection is destined by the stars. She can feel his smile. "Stop thinking that!" She can now hear his smile getting bigger. "Didn't you like it?" Her smile travels a thousand miles and hits him right in the heart. "I have to go now." She whispers into the mouthpiece. Right into his ear. Shivers down his spine. 'You belong with me
3
1
T
The Queen Of Feelings
Fear of the unknown replaced with fear of loss. She avoids mirrors, she looks away when someone's addressing her. Her drive is fear. Fear is a liar. Fear is a prison. Fear is the one thing that keeps her from breaking loose. The one thing that keeps her breathing. Fear of something new replaced with fear of living without the old. She's not a bad person, she doesn't do it on purpose. Her drive is curiosity. Curiosity makes you do the most stupid things. Curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity is the one thing that will always keep her hungry. The one thing that keeps her going. Fear of standing still replaced with fear of moving too
0
0
T
Talking To Shadows
"Can I do this?" I ask her, the one in the shadows, the one who knows everything about me. She doesn't move at the sound of my voice. It's been some time since we last talked. Every day I felt her by my side, even after I had thought my ignorance would have sent her astray. "I mean it, do you think I can do this?" I insinst, well knowing I sound desperate. Which, for the first time in years, I am. Her eyes sparkle in the corner of the room I call my mind. She's looking at me now, aware but not yet interested. I know her good enough to tell that. "You've done it before." Indifferent, a nuance of boredom in her voice. Tones I haven't hear
4
3
A
Acceptance - Fifth stage of grief
"Thank you" she whispers. She has nothing left to say. Went through the five stages of grief, The denial was easier said than done with a mind like hers, The temporary anger did not help her pure and strong heart, The bargaining was too embarrassing now that she learned about pride, The depression did not linger long, it just came to say "Hi! It's me again. See you soon!" And now Acceptance. He was there because she had asked for him. It could have been anybody by that time. Fate or chance, she doesn't even care, made it him. The average douchebag next door. Under different circumstances, she would not even have laid an eye on him.
3
0
lay down child
2
2
drive anywhere
1
0
T
The Siren - 3
It was only reluctantly that Sandie went to work on Friday morning, but she had to admit that her nails looked awesome. She had settled on neon blue, and Connie had loaned her an eye shadow to match. It gave her a tiny bit of extra confidence, just enough to face a steady stream of coffee-hungry commuters. She flitted between the espresso machine and the rows of syrup bottles, filling orders while she deflected curious sympathy from her co-workers. Connie was the worst. "So, he didn't take anything?" she verified for the twentieth time. She popped her gum and flipped her glossy black mohawk to the other side of her head. "Nope. At least, I
63
72
November 6, 1985
Germany
Deviant for 8 years
Badges
Whiskers: Submitted to the April Fools' Day category
Super Llama: Llamas are awesome! (32)
Where to find me...
... now that I don't actively take part in dA anymore / for the time being: tumblr: http://alessalaranitara.tumblr.com flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alessanitara/ My urban explorer heart beats stronger than my writer heart at the moment but I'd be happy to have you around either way. And who knows, one day I might write again...
5
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tumblring away
Good day everybody, I'm still alive and somewhat kicking (in the sense of writing, photographing etc.). There's a lot of personal stuff going on, that's mostly why I don't publish at the moment. But if you want to keep in touch, get a tumblr and follow me on: http://alessanitara.tumblr.com/ Or don't follow me, but seriously, get a tumblr. ;-) Take care, good night, see you soon.
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What would you do...?
Hi, how's it going? Unfortunately, I had to find out I need a premium membership to start a poll, so I'll try it this way. Simple question: What is on your (imaginary or real)  "things to do before I die"-list? It can be anything from the first kiss via bungee-jumping to traveling around the whole wide world. As we are about it, which sights do you need to see, where have you always wanted to go and who should take the picture of you in front of Chichén Itza (for example, this is one thing on my list). Please let me know, inspire me! And maybe maybe maybe I'll tell you about the hilarious turns my life made through the past two or
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Comments68

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itsmyccrets's avatar
itsmyccrets|Hobbyist Photographer
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy Birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!
Reply  ·  
AlessaNitara's avatar
:D Thanks a bunch!
Reply  ·  
itsmyccrets's avatar
itsmyccrets|Hobbyist Photographer
huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge :tighthug:
Reply  ·  
itsmyccrets's avatar
itsmyccrets|Hobbyist Photographer
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
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Elixa-Carr's avatar
Wow. Love your bio., you seem awesome.
Reply  ·  
AlessaNitara's avatar
Thanks a lot, so do you. Your writing is awesome.
Reply  ·  
Elixa-Carr's avatar
:) Thanks! Means a lot.
Reply  ·