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|Female bodybuilder admirer.|
My heart is heavy and my mind is dark. Last bit of light on my life slowly fade away as I heard someone important for me passed away some time ago. She meant a lot to me. More than I was imagined.
My life always been sad and dark. I don't have family nor friends. There was only one person who ever touched me deeply, and now she's gone.
I know her from school. I could say, she was my teenage crush. First and only crush I have ever experienced. I have never fall in love.
I don't know if she ever thought about me, but I thought about her a lot, many times during the years. But I never call her.
Why I'm so shy and weak and scary? Why can't I be strong and brave? Why didn't I have strength and will to find her number and call her? Even once. Why must she die as I'm still here, alone?
I hate my miserable life. There is no meaning for it. It's more waiting for death than living. My life is empty. I'm just an empty shell. I wish there would be a way to change things in past, but there is not.
Rest in peace, my sweet old friend. I miss you so much.
Maybe one day there will be another light on my life, but just now I feel nothing but pain.
Anyway, I want to wish you all: Happy Holidays!
Enjoy company of your family and friends. Take care and keep contact with all your friends, you never know when it might be too late.