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Emptiness by akirakirai Emptiness by akirakirai
TL;DR btw, I'm doing fine, I'm very happy right now :) I'm just writing from recent experience derp derp

A sinking, binding feeling which feels unescapable. Negative influences in our lives tend to magnify and become more important than all the positive moments that happened.
It feels as though nothing can lift us up at this point.

Depression is something that everyone feels at a point in their lifetime. The feeling of uselessness, that you can't handle what is going on -- an unbelievable amount of emotional stress. Sometimes even to the point where you feel like just going away would be a simpler choice.

I have been suffering from clinical depression (the more serious of the like) since I was a very, very young girl. Growing up, I felt so lonely -- everything I did was wrong and that nobody loved me.

Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. I remind myself that I am here and I have fought that monster for this long and that I am amazing.

I'll have my moments where I will feel, of course, depressed and down, but I have been doing a lot better now.
I just wish that other people around would understand that they are not alone. It feels that way, but they are not the only ones that feel such pain, and they are loved.

Drawing made me remember that I am good at what I do and that I do, in fact, have a purpose in life.

mechanical pencil / touch-ups on opencanvas
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llurins Featured By Owner May 15, 2017
This is great but I'm just wondering if you're okay?
Vermount Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2016  Student Photographer
Great portrait drawing.
GaryTStorm Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2016

Love the feeling of this. Would you mind if I used it for a non-profit music video (a song about depression)?

"Grey" is the song:
i really love your artwork it's incredible
artdog22 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016
Amazing work and I agree. We all have our good and sad times.
Mr-Moon-Light Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2015
I just wanna say that it's admirable how you can reflect negative emotions in your drawings in creative way or put them down in words. And despite all the sadness here i really like your approach. All the best for you Clap
Midnightrazorheart Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
that's fricken incredible. great job
EndlessBlueOcean Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
skullsmasher201 Featured By Owner May 5, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
these are beautiful you show a dark and sadness in your art that show such deep emotion to express your art in a unique way. I could never in a thousand years do this so don't give up.
TheSphinxThinks Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
A very strong, universal message. Thank you for making this piece :)
GentleSquall Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Keep it up. I know a few people with Clinical Depression on medications. Your artworks shows your emotions clearly and they are excellent work.
Sir-Feng Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2014  Hobbyist
I find your words with your drawing powerful, lovely work!
danieldan69 Featured By Owner May 26, 2014
Love the pic but mostly what you wrote!
Pwney Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello akirakirai

I hope you're having a good day :)
TheGreatSpain Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
(I am talking as the real me, not my anime character)
I get the feeling of pain or suffering, though some people like to point out my case as more serious than others. I have a rare disease known as "mirror touch" synesthesia, though it seems a lot different compared to other cases. You see, "mirror touch" synesthesia is usually when someone is able to feel the pain of others just by a simple touch. Me, it takes only a glance in order for me to completely know how they feeling. It's kind of like I'm literally stepping into their body and feeling their exact emotion. Pretty cool right? Well, not always.
To actually touch someone who is hurt would mean the end of me, that's why I try to avoid people when it comes to anything physical. I couldn't even hold my dad's hand when I was younger since I would be rushed to the hospital seconds later, and have to deal with a very emotional story of his desperately dark past.
When someone is in physical pain, I get an extremely painful sensation the exact same spot where other people have been hurt. Though it's sad, I've helped a lot of my friends finally get the courage to stop them from harming themselves, or to finally tell an officer about their family member that do terrible things to them.
I know it's sad. I know if it's really depressing to have to deal with all of this, but I'm kind of glad that I have this rare disease. Sure, there's a lot of negativity in it, but the outcome of it all is so good, and happy, and beautiful that I don't ever want to let it go. So, to all of those who read this, including the artist, I want you to know that I love each and everyone of you. If it's emotional (this sadly includes suicidal thought/acts that are only for pain, not death), there is someone out there for you! Someone who can help you through your sorrows and show you how meaningful and how beautiful you and your life really are. If it's physical, there are people who can help you with that as well! You no longer have to suffer alone anymore. I do, and always will love every thing on this Earth that has a reason of being here. Which means, I LOVE EVERYTHING! Especially you *pokes at screen*. Sorry, I had to troll at least a little bit Usui-bla (Takumi Usui) (I love these emotioncons!)Misaki-Yeah (Misaki Ayuzawa) Usui-hehehe (Takumi Usui) Usui-wave (Takumi Usui) 
Annndroid Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014
I've been feeling that way for a while! So glad I found this
guineapig590 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014
simply art, you need to think of doing this professionally
Poseidonsky Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
wow this is so amazing i wish i could express it like you do
LongingSwanheart Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love your emotion works. They are so expressive. You picture the feelings very well.
aparisio Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
me encanta esta genial
xdeatheater Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Psychodeeps Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013
good thoughts and drawing fren. Nobody should be lonely. But as we know it... In most of the time we become fren with it... Loneliness is a kind of inspiration if we take it positively. I'd love to read more about your inspirational life. Thanks for sharing.
Kawaiikitti1241 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
FunFunXD Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
omg, that details, that passion. so good.........would you give me tips? to draw like you?
Yumikio-Natsuki-Yoko Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Is it alright if I try to draw this? Don't worry it wont go on DeviantArt I like to keep my types of depression based artwork out of DA. I'd love to draw such a beautiful picture. :)
unsteadily Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
So accurate... I've gone through (still going through) clinical depression, it's always a struggle, but I feel like if I'm good enough I'll prove to myself that I'm worthy of existence and love. It's my motivation for improving in everything I do. This drawing, and your words, are lovely and inspiring ♥
LenaSwaggy Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful, great job xoxox
velacuesta Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I love this.
PaiiNn69390926 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Student
excelente tranajo es sombrio jeje
paulkarpinski Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012
cool piece. well done!
Undesired-Death Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Gosh, that's practically what I'm feeling right now.
Gorgeous artwork.
hotvampiregirl2 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012
Beautiful art work :) I love it :heart:
steal-your-blood Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012
PaiiNn69390926 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student
esta genial enserio me encanta este trabajo jeje
sigue asii gracias
Suiish Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Depression is a beast, that can turn your own mind against you and bring out your inner bully, it dstorts reality and makes assumptions of other peoples thoughts. Depression and aniety, your right, its NOT a weakness, not at all.
Awbwi Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Ah this really touched me... you did a very good job on drawing the feeling into the picture and explaining it in the comments. Very beautiful.
Puppetinfaith Featured By Owner May 31, 2012
I went through depression when I was young as well, and it was horrible, I even went as far to cut myself. But once I got through, I was able to help the people who I love and care about overcome depression as well. So even though it really hurt to go through tht kind of emotional pain, I'm glad I did, because if I did not, I might have lost one of my bestest friends...

Well, anyways, I love the expression on her face while the darkness is trying to drag her down. I also love the way you did this sketch in just pencil black and white.

Overall, I want to thank you for sharing this with us, it truly is beautiful! :iconclapplz:
GuardianOfHeavens Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I know depression too well, know how it feels to be feed with all the lies that depression makes in our mind and how you let yourself go just because you start to believe them...thank god i was lucky enough to have my loved ones near all this time and get me trough all, i started to become stronger and now although i still have it...from time to time and yes honey you and me and alot others are not alone :aww: thank you for your work and keep up :aww:
KakuDaisuki Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012
fayjan19 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
UR ORIGINAL .....CANNOT BE REPLACED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TakishimaMegumi17 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012
lovely black and white drawing! ♥
Blacklakeraven Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2012
wow i feel such emotion in your work.
mteriuz Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
nice! i Luv it!
atrinh Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
I love the creepy contrast of the hands, and the white highlights on the borders of the hands and on her face. Awesome work.
EmoNekoChan13 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012
:iconbegplz: *admire admire admire* ~♥
ARTabstraction Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Student Digital Artist
You go girl!
You're an inspiration to all of us!!
sourMELK Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012
i know that feeling all too well.
beautiful picture btw
MouseDenton Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Hope you didn't scratch the scanner with the notebook bindings...
Conkeras Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Student General Artist
wow, I wish I'd fave your artist's comment more than the piece... I hope you will be alright, you have a wonderful talent that brings joy to people and to yourself most importantly, just never forget that. What you just described, that's weird because I never looked at the definition of depression, but I remember feeling intensely all you've just described during my last semester and seriously...It scares me... I wish I'm wrong, being depressed is not something I could get rid off so easily, so I'd prefer think I'm not and become stronger without worrying about it too much... I'm glad to know you went out of it, at least you are most of the time, which is good to know. Courage! :):rose:
Keitto191 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012
I love how you do shadows
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Submitted on
January 7, 2012
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