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  • Listening to: Silence
  • Watching: Some supposedly inspiring shit that doesn't work
  • Playing: Unemployed grown-ups (this game still sucks)
  • Drinking: Coke with a straw
WHAT PEOPLE SAY : Change is good :) I know you may not think it is sometimes but it's good and brings about new opportunities :)
WHAT I WISH PEOPLE WOULD SAY MORE SOMETIMES : Change is unavoidable, fucking deal with it
  • Listening to: Adulty keyboard noises and silence
  • Reading: Osomatsu-san bitterness
  • Watching: Osomatsu-san bitterness
  • Playing: Grown-ups (this game sucks)
Don't ever stop thinking about how the systems and behaviors of adult life suck and your best years are behind you and it's probably just gonna get worse and worse from here.

Come to think of it I'd rather see you sad than unaware any day. Don't get unaware. Sadness bites but it's still better.
  • Listening to: MY IPOD IS OUT OF CHARGE
  • Reading: STOP MAKING ME READ PRESS ARTICLES
  • Watching: I'M RUNNING SO LATE ON SERIES
  • Playing: I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN DAYS
  • Eating: I'M HUNGRY
  • Drinking: I'M THIRSTY
Finding a job that corresponds to your absolute passion isn't possible for everyone. There will always be jobs nobody wants to do, but still there's gotta be someone to do them. Moreover, even when a job that corresponds to your absolute passion IS possible, it's not always desirable. I wouldn't want for my passion to become my job. That'd make my passion a little bit too useful and... I dunno. Adult-y?

Anyway, these are facts. Facts that are greatly disregarded by the ABSOLUTE NEED TO FIND A "GOOD" JOB. There's competition. So you gotta land big. So you gotta play pretend along with the whole wide world and completely ignore that truth, that the job you get won't necessarily be what you're passionate about.

You can't just come to employers and say in all honesty : "I want a job to help my fellow human beings in their daily life and help the world turn a tiny bit, any way I can, since we all have to play our part to live as a society, but yeah, that's that." No, you gotta say that that job you want is your LIFE, that you'd DIE for it, that you'd LOVE to be hired, then if you're hired it becomes your absolute identity and you're labelled as your job for the rest of your life and people assume it's just... Your thing. You know. You're a manager of stuff or an assistant in yadda yadda or an official of whatevs.

The truth is I never did plan to become my job OR find a job I could be passionate about. I just wanna play my part according to the rules, that's all. I don't care how much I'm paid, as long as I can live. And as long as people can let me be something else than my job, or at least BECOME something else than my job as soon as I cross the company's doors.
  • Drinking: Coke
I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT HAVING MADE THIS JOURNAL ENTRY EARLIER, I'M SO SORRY FOR ANYONE WHO'S WORRIED ABOUT ME HERE
I'M SAFE, I don't live near the senstitive areas from yesterday night, so I'm safe. I had a lot of trouble sleeping because I'm depressed as fuck, but I'm safe. Went out to a non-cancelled event today to take my mind off things. It was reassuring to see that some people DID go out and that terror didn't completely win over the city.

There's gonna be crap in the next few days. But I hope the crap remains limited. I'M SAFE, MYSELF. So sorry if you worried, guys. T^T
  • Watching: Steins;Gate
  • Drinking: Cherry Coke
Okay, folks, apparently I've got a job! And I start on Monday and it sounds interesting. I'll see. Maybe I'll eat my words soon enough, but who knows. At least I've got a job, so that's that.

Here's my life right now : I've fulfilled my biggest dream, my terrible studies are over, I've got a job and for the time being, I get to stay here in ol' Paname.
I have never been more out of objectives than now. It's all fulfilled, fulfilled, fulfilled. Done. It's all good. I'm happy.

Join me a few months from now as my contract ends and I maybe have to look for another job. Or, you know, join me earlier perhaps whenever my stupid brain has produced a new goal for me to strive about.

In the meantime : FUCK YEAH.
  • Reading: Job offers
  • Watching: A buncha films I should've watched before
  • Drinking: Coke, for a change
Ages ago I've been tagged by :iconk-liight: for the 13-things-about-me meme. Today marks the first day of my actual job search as an unemployed recent graduate, and I need the self-esteem pretty bad, so ima use this tag as an excuse to brag about accomplishments I usually don't brag about.

So here goes :

THINGS ABOUT ME :
1. Last April a comic of mine got published for the first time. It's called 'Bubble Gum', it's only available in France so far and translation is in project, I spent two years working on it and I had the ideas since 2007 and it's my life-long dream come true.
2. Last year I was responsible for translating into French the entirety of a book by Professor Way Kuo on the importance of safety in the nuclear energy industry. Most interesting work I've ever had to translate thus far.
3. I used to have a Youtube channel that had 2 million views before it got taken down. I was one of the veterans who first made Nico-Nico Douga-inspired YTPMV/MAD on Youtube, before people got so damn good at it. MatrixMarioX once requested a video from me back in the day. Shit. That was in 2008. How time flies.
4. I am the singer and lyricist of an internet-based musical duo called Raven's Jig. We do covers of stuff because neither of us is a composer. I also got involved in several other singing projects, mostly French ones (I'm also part of a French cover trio called ToAKa and I twice sang in duets with utaite Kanipan ; I'm dead).
5. For 8 years I've been the administrator of a French RPG forum that just eventually died off last year after living quite an interesting life. I've met most of my best friends there.
6. I've had imaginary friends in my head for 9 years. They help me provide a narration for stories about my life.
7. I've been playing the celtic harp for 14 years and the guitar for 7 years. I'm not really that good at either. I've also done drama for 5 years but I'm a terrible actress.
8. I'm a pure asexual and aromantic. I've never experienced attraction towards anyone or anything in my whole life. Friendship is the highest level to me as far as human relationships are concerned. Therefore I don't take friendship lightly at all.
9. I've apparently been part of the top students in my school for the past few years and I never noticed. Everybody else just seemed so much more serious than me.
10. I have two younger brothers that are the best in the world. I feel I care for them more than my Dad does and to be honest that's something I'm pretty proud of. They're amazing and I love them so much.
11. I am deeply unable to value my own merits in general. This post being the obvious exception I suppose. I am also very annoyed by pretentious people usually. I know a LOT of pretentious people. I never tell them, though. It'd be a waste of time, since pretentious people are too pretentious anyway to acknowledge their pretentiousness.
12. I am 22 and I live on Avenue Q.
13. ...Only the first part of that previous fact was true.

...Well that was good masturbation. I haven't had that in years. Anyway, for something lighter-minded :

:iconk-liight:'S QUESTIONS :
1. are you random, or do you like to keep things consistent? I like to keep things consistent as much as I can. I try to live sensibly and I think that's the way to go. It's hard sometimes though. Human nature is so annoyingly fickle.
2. favorite movie ever? XD It's too hard to pick one! I have so many I love. If I had to pick one I'd absolutely have to recommend... I dunno, The Truman Show I guess? But there's SO MANY I should quote!
3. what do you think is the most annoying song on the radio? I don't listen to the radio. So I'm free °w°
4. dammit I'm running out of questions already...........who, what, or where inspires you the most? Tezuka Osamu, and listening to music. These two elements are musts in my creative process.
5. what's your favorite number? *silly question* ...I dunno... 6 or 8 maybe?
6. your best school subject? whythehelldidIjustaskaquestionaboutschool????? Languages. XD That's why I studied translation and am now seeking work as a translator!
7. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? California. I've never been there, that's where movies and their subtitles are born, that's where 'Life In Hell' was born, that's where the 'Peanuts' museum is, that's where a lot of series I love are born. It's gotta be amazing to see.
8. favorite superhero? Bob Belcher. Bob Belcher is totally a superhero and no one can convince me otherwise.
9. how do you typically create art? I draw the stuff directly with a mechanical pencil without preliminary sketches, because those bore me. Then I scan it and color it using GIMP. No tablet, not even a mouse. I use my trackpad.
10. when did you first start drawing/writing/being creative? Goes back to further than I can remember. Drawing seals and sea lions is part of my first memories ever.
11. favorite genre of music? Jazz.
12. which is more annoying: Justin Bieber or One Direction? *hates both* I don't really listen to either... But I've got a friend who likes One Direction, so out of solidarity, Justien Bieber I guess? XD
13. are you superstitious? No. I'm cynical. I hardly believe in anything, at all.

...And now I'm gonna cheat and not tag anyone because I hate tagging! *SBAF* XD I'm so sorry. Okay, whoever in my watchers would like to answer that tag can take the following questions as my questions. Feel free to do it if you feel like it ;)
1. If you were part of the two last persons on earth, would you stick together with the other person or get tired and wary of them?
2. D'you watch Youtube Poops? °^°
3. Which are cuter : cats, otters or seals?
4. D'you think being a Hufflepuff is demeaning?
5. What is a hero to you?
6. Do you consider yourself a good person?
7. If you drew a sheep next to a flower, are you gonna be concerned that the sheep might eat the flower?
8. Besides drawing or writing, what's your favorite creative thing?
9. What makes a person annoying in your opinion?
10. Do you sometimes cry out of happiness?
11. What do you think is most important : security or freedom?
12. Personally, what do you think happiness is?
13. Do you forget about other people easily?
  • Reading: Shin Takarajima
...Okay, I'm totally milking the whole thing now, but...
...Yesterday before going back home from work I took a longer route to stop by a bookshop in central Paris. One of the handful of bookshops that actually carry my publisher's... Well, publishings. And I stopped by just to see this, basically.

Hebergeur d'image

My first journal on here, from ages and ages ago, mentioned my wish of seeing a thing of mine in a bookshop one day. And then laughed it off. But... Hey. You know. This.

Anyway, that bookshop just so happened to also sell that epic Tezuka book I didn't even know was available in France. So I went ahead and bought it. Took a stealth picture which I'm showing here while the shopkeepers weren't looking, took the Tezuka book, and went to checkout.

And I felt so tiny and so enormous at the same time and you know, fuck yeah.

...I'm milking my happiness hard these days, but... Better vent too much about being happy than not enough, I guess.
I still can't believe it.

  • Watching: South Park
  • Drinking: Coke Light 'cause you know
I got tagged by :iconurisha: (<3) to answer questions in the same of an OC of mine, so I guess I'll just do like what I did last time and take characters from my comic series... Well, except I couldn't choose between the two characters, so that'll be two OCs instead of one. Sorry for cheating! XD

RULES:
1. Pick one of your OCs.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your OCs.
3. Tag four people to do this meme! (Yeah... Won't do that.^^" I wouldn't be sure who to tag and I'm terrible at tagging so... Yeah. Sorries!)
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal. (Same.^^")

...Okay, so, the OCs are these two guys here :
Hebergeur d'image
...I guess I'll never stop recycling this image or something. Moving on :


1. What is your name:
—We don't have names.
—We've never been given any, to be fair.
—The creator never gave us any.

2. Do you know why you were named that?
—...We DON'T have names.
—We've never been given any...
—You know what? I'm not doing this again.

3. Are you single or taken?
—We're kids. Don't bring this shit into our lives.
—And you, don't be that rude. Come on. Those are general questions here. But... Yeah. Doesn't really apply to us either.
 
4. Have any abilities or powers?
—We have the ability to survive in this world without dying from excessive facepalming!
—IT'S AN AWESOME POWER!
—HELL YEAH!
—...Ah also I can make huge bubble gum bubbles.
—...She really can't.
—Shut up. Can too.

5. Stop being a Mary sue
—Is... Is it because of what I said about the bubble gum bubbles?
—That's a load of bullcorn. I beg to differ. We're kind of the contraries of Mary Sues here. We're emphasizing our mere abilities as simple, powerless people still doing their best to make their lives bearable. People don't realize how awesome that is but it really is. No need for Mary Sue powers for that.
—Well... We're no heroes either.
—YES WE ARE.

6. What's your eye colour?
—I dunno what his eye color is, you can't even see his eyes from behind his huge glasses.
—Well, sorry for having shitty eyes.

7. How about hair colour?
—Black.
—Blonde.

8. Have you any family members?
—Well yeah. My parents.
—Ditto.

9. Oh? How about pets?
—Nnnope.

10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
—The way this world works.
—Ditto. ...Although there are tiny pieces of good things once in a while.
—Yeah, thankfully.
—They're rare though.
—Yeah. But gold is rare too, and gold is a treasure. So I guess these are kind of a treasure too somehow.
—Oh man, this is getting cheesy.
—True. I'll just shut up.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
—Playing ball...
—Playing war with toy soldiers...
—Reading books...
—Hate-watching TV programs...
—Going to see the Eiffel tower...
—Mocking on the Eiffel tower.
—Making bubble gum bubbles.
—Watching her fail at making them. Complaining about the world.
—Watching him complain until I can tell him off.
—Oh, like you never complain yourself.
—True. I do sometimes. ...Oh, talk.
—We talk a lot.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
—*Looks down* ...Yeah. ...I don't wanna talk about it though.
—...Wait, you have?
—*Remains silent*

13. Ever... killed anyone before?
—Only toy soldiers when we play war. Apart from that, COME ON. We'd go to jail. I'm not going through that.
—Me neither.

14. What kind of animal are you?
—We're human beings, duh. Best animals in the world!
—We wouldn't trade it for anything else.

15. Name your worst habits.
—She panicks a lot.
—He complains a lot.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
*Both point to each other*

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?
—We're... Kids?
—Yeah, I never thought about any of that, seriously.

18. Do you go to school?
—WE. ARE. KIDS.
—Calm down.
—We have to. And we HATE it.
—Well... It's pretty lousy.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
—*Chuckles* Good luck finding anyone who'd be able to bear with me out there!
—*Thinks* I dunno... Maybe? I'd do my best to be kinder to them than most adults are to most kids, if I do have kids. I owe it to them. And myself.

20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
—*Chuckles again* Wow. Doubt so.
—If anything we probably have more people hating us than liking us.

21. What are you most afraid of?
—Growing up into a complete idiot douchebag with a shitty job and being CONTENT about it.
—Yeah... Probably that, too. That, and finding out that the few good elements remaining in life actually don't really exist. That'd be awful. Oh... And wasps. I hate these.

22. What do you usually wear?
—Blue T-shirt, brown pants, boots, damn glasses, cliché Russian-like hat.
—Light purple coat with flowers on the elbows, skirt, fishnet pantyhose, flat shoes, cliché Russian-like hat.

23. What's one food that tempts you?
—Bubble gum I guess? Although I dunno if that counts as food. Let's say oranges.
—Oranges and coconut biscuits. I used to dislike these but it turns out it's so much easier to like food that nobody likes so you won't have to fight for it. So now I like them.

24. Am I annoying you?
—Yes you are, sometimes. Some of your questions are weird.
—Not really. You're okay.

25. Well, it's still not over!
—Oh dammit. *Turns to her* You should never have told them they were okay.
—Oh, now it's gonna be MY fault, huh.

26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
—We're low class. Oh, we're so poor.
—Middle class. We're both middle class.

27. How many friends do you have?
—One, there she is.
—*Looks down, embarrassed* ...Okay now you made it sound like it's gonna be very unfair if I say that I have more friends than you...

28. What are your thoughts on pie?
—Pie is good. Won't fight for it though.
—I love pie! I couldn't even decide on a favorite flavor. Pie is just so good.

29. Favorite drink?
—Orange juice.
—Ditto. I like apple juice, too.

30. What's your favorite place?
—The benches on the way back from school where we can sit and talk.
—Yeah... Those are nice, when there's not many people around. I also like staying under my blanket, though.

31. Are you interested in anyone~?
—Not many people interest me. I guess I'm interested in my parents 'cause they're good parents, and her 'cause she's my friend. As for the rest, no interest much. I don't care for anyone.
—...I don't think that's how this question was meant to be answered...
—I know. But seriously, how can I answer it any other way?

32. That was a stupid question.
—Yes. Yes it was.
—You're being harsh.

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or an ocean?
—I'd rather stay home and do nothing. The further I stay from water the better, probably.
—If I had to choose, I'd probably say lake, 'cause oceans are troublesome. But... Yeah, I like walking more than I like swimming.

34. What's your type?
—*Sighs* My what?
—...I feel like you're saying "my what" ironically and you actually know what that means, but... Help me out here. I have no idea myself and it requires explanations.

35. Any fetishes?
—*Frowns* ...Any WHAT?
—...Oh. So THAT's what that was about.
—Say it with me. PLEASE.
—Oh, gladly.
—Alright then : WE!
—ARE!
—KIDS!
—GODDAMMIT!

36. Camping or indoors?
—Indoors.
—No duh.

Poor lay parisiengs

Sun May 24, 2015, 3:25 PM
  • Drinking: Coke, as per usual
Je dédicace ma BD, mon home-run, mon bébé chéri, Bubble Gum, le samedi 6 juin au soir dans un bar du 20ème arrondissement de Paris!
...Bon, etpis surtout, y a plein de gens hyper-classes qui seront là pour dédicacer des BDs infiniment plus formidables que la mienne, donc... Ça vaut le détour. Même si y a qu'une très petite part de gens que je connais par ici qui sont de Paris ou du coin... Je balance quand même ça à tout hasard!



Prenez soin de vous, myriade d'êtres magnifiques que vous êtes, amis fantômes ou pas fantômes, whatever. *Bows*

So... Yeah. Definitely the most important update I've ever put on here. And... It's a video. So, sorry 'bout that.

How do I introduce that... Well, let's just say that if I've ever told any of you that there was something important going on in my life right now and that I'd explain later, this explains it.



...I fucking made it, fuck yeah, etc, etc.

...I mean WOW.

[French only] Donc

Tue Mar 24, 2015, 3:54 PM
...J'ai fait un bébé qui s'appelle une BD
...Et qui est actuellement en train d'être imprimé sur du papier de pro comme quand je rêvais quand j'étais gosse

...Et...
...Enfin wow...
...Et...

...*Envoie un lien vers son blog parce qu'elle fait assez de redite comme ça, et qu'elle est nulle*


PS : Sorry for the French-only message, guys! Kind of more relevant news for France.^^"

Burger Tumblr

Sat Feb 28, 2015, 4:00 PM
...So um

I made this Tumblr to channel my burgerfangirlism and repost my burger art

So...
bloggingboutburgers.tumblr.com
...Yeah

(By the way, it absolutely doesn't mean less burger art on here, though. Sorry 'bout that. XD)

All animals are equal, but...

Mon Dec 29, 2014, 8:37 AM
Funny; I thought that when I'd grow old, I might come to understand a bit more why some adults treat children the way they do.
Truth be told, I understand it even less now.

Secret Santa wishlist or somethin'

Wed Nov 26, 2014, 1:50 AM
  • Listening to: A lecturer in intercultural communication
  • Drinking: Same thing I'm drinking in most of my journals
So I joined :iconrumpelanier:'s secret Santa and now I have to make a wishlist. XD It feels a bit weird, as I mainly did this to have fun drawing for someone else, but... Yeah, let's do this, I guess.

XD I'm pretty easy to read from my DA page though. Most of the things I like are already all over my drawings. One rule of thumb is that I'd probably love a drawing related to any character or any show I've fan-arted (or drawn, in the case or original characters) more than twice over, say, the past three years.
So you can just have a browse through my gallery or even my 'Interests' section, if it's any help at all.^^"

Here are two things that I suppose are particularly dear to me right now :
-[EDIT] Oh shit, Bonobono. I forgot Bonobono. Bonobono is the most adorable thing ever.
-Bob's Burgers fan-art involving zombies or post-apocalyptic war. XD This is fucked-up. This whole idea resulted from an afternoon in a pub with a friend who's as weird as I am. But now it kinda appeals to us. Then again, it's fucked-up, so I don't even really know how you can translate this into art. XDD
-The characters drawn repeatedly in these two batches among other things ; they're all (except one) fan-arts from older mangas which I adapted as side characters for my French blog long ago and never stopped drawing ever since. I like each of them quite dearly.

But then again, like I said, more generally anything I've drawn at least twice since 2012 or so would be perfect per se.
Or y'know, anything else you'd like, if nothing in there inspired you enough. I don't tend to do reference sheets or anything either so I'd understand if it ends up being too complicated.^^"

Sorry for this vague thing. It's not even a list worthy of the name, but I hope it'll be helpful enough.

Good luck to everyone involved in the project, let's all have fun!^^

(I write too much. Maybe it's because I'm French? I dunno.)

Pondichery Poet

Tue Nov 4, 2014, 7:38 AM
  • Listening to: People talking about "serious" crap. Shut up.
  • Drinking: Coke (big surprise)
>Teacher asks about our professional projects for when we get our degree
>I tell teacher I wanna specialize in technical translation related to energy and new technologies
>Teacher moves on to the "creative skills" we can put on our CVs to sell ourselves better on the market
>Teacher looks at me awkwardly for a second
>Teacher probably assumes I chose an uncreative path because I'm an uncreative person
>Hahah
>If only teacher knew.

  • Drinking: Coffee... How did that happen?
Well, well, well. Where do I start.

My daily routine and few days of holidays lately have given me a bit of time to reflect on my current behavior and the turn my life has taken. I thought it could be kind of interesting to write about it, like in those diaries nobody reads but you anyway. Well, a journal entry should do the trick. I guess.

So... What am I right now. I am a twenty-one-year-old person who apparently doesn't look like it. Well, judging by how many times I've been asked for my ID in English pubs and by the weird faces kids make when I tell them how old I am, at least. These misunderstandings are far from disturbing me. I take delight in them. I savor them because I know they're the last I'm ever gonna get.
Then again, I suppose they have more to do with my behavior than with the actual way I look. Let's speak about my behavior. I'm expected to behave in another way now that I'm older. We all experience that and it's no news to anybody. What just strikes me is how subdued everything is. I have often, VERY often written or drawn about how as you grow older you come to realize most things you were made to believe as a child were bullshit. One of those many times, a friend of mine said, very rightly, that "the most terrible part about it is when you realize that all by yourself, without anyone having to tell you". And that bites.
Adults tell you things about life and then you're an adult and you tell yourself things about life. No second party needed. That's quite logical I suppose.

So I tell myself : I'm old, I'm not allowed to like this or that anymore. At least not openly. I've grown increasingly ashamed of my "fandoms" and the things I like in general, and the more I get chances to talk about them, the more I pussy out. (Well, that is, except when I find someone open-minded enough to accept that kind of conversation topic, which sends my fears flying to the moon and gets me back to my old annoying self).
Then again, it's not a bad time to live in. Being a twenty-one-year-old girl in the 21st century, I am allowed to like watching series, especially the animated ones, anime, comic strips of all kinds, and Disney movies, without any of this sounding weird. I also have the luck to forever be able to openly enjoy Tezuka comics and Waiting for Godot, because those are dubbed as 'classics'. Safe area.
I don't really feel allowed, however, to record myself singing songs other than for professional/professional-like purposes (haha, big joke, like that would ever come across), to role-play over Skype, or to boast about a drawing I feel particularly proud about (unless it's drawn REALLY REALLY good, but here again, let's face the facts). I made imaginary friends to talk about these things with myself now so as not to annoy the others all too much. Pathetic, I know. I don't really care much though. I doesn't hurt anyone and it makes me happy. I fear the day I'll have to part with them, though by then I'll have reached another state of mind that tells me it's okay. What will I find joy in then? Why do these people seem so happy? I don't see it and I must confess I'm a bit afraid to find out. It sounds to me like some kind of Plato's cave or something.

I've already started anesthetizing myself though. Oh god, how the word frightens me. I have a phobia of anesthesia. I can't believe I've now realized I'm doing such an awful thing to myself.
Let's elaborate though. I didn't want to complain. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore, I haven't for a while now and I don't think I care.
In short, I am now coming to terms with being a loser. I can feel it. I've realized that being a twentysomething, I don't have any right to feel jealous of people who succeeded where I failed. Not that I had much of a right before either, but being jealous is a childish feeling and apparently I'm not a child anymore, so there. More importantly, I can't feel bad forever. In some cases something can be done, in others it's too late. And I have to take responsibility for not having been able to achieve the right things at the right time. Taking responsibility is, I think, the least most of us human beings can do.
Well, not that I don't feel bad, though. It does bite pretty much. But, then again, whose fault is it but mine? I can't go around accusing others just because they're doing things right. That would be unfair. So now I encourage them. I'm part of that outer, bland, blah crowd of supporters. I don't know if deep down I wanted to be there originally, but hey, there's gotta be some people around to do that.
Are all the people from the crowd like that, I wonder? Did they all have dreams and did they all fail and are they all now condemned to support those who win because someone's gotta do it and they deserve it and after all it's not all that bad?

Speaking of the way I treat others, though, I still have a few things to feel shameful about. I have now started yelling at kids for being kids and having dreams and hopes and not being as disenchanted as I am. It makes no sense whatsoever, yet I keep doing it. I don't have the right to expect anything, though. Young people are young. It's normal for them to be that way. Whether or not I would have been hurt if I myself, at that age, were told the things I tell them now does not enter the picture, but one thing's for sure, I was a lot more stupid than those kids I yell at. I do admit that to their faces, of course, because that's the least I can do, but that doesn't stop me from yelling.

I guess I'm like those parents in movies who try to over-protect the young'uns in awkwardly brutal or extreme ways. Or maybe I'm just egoistical and I'm trying to come to terms with my own life evolving.

Well... Like I said, it's not all too sad. Tomorrow I'll go to work again and it'll probably rain and when I go back home I'll be too tired to do anything productively fun, but in the meantime I'll still live, and have fun conversations with people I like, and secure myself in the fact that I am actually trying, trying to be a good, smart, fair person, that the things I read are good things, that the things I like are good things, well for the most part, and that some people out there like me, and hopefully respect me too.


PS : XD Hoho wow I just re-read that last line. I sound lame. Will my whole life be like that from now on? Do I like that idea or not? XD Wow I don't know anything.

PPS : ...Come to think of it, that PS might be one of my late, last flashes of proper consciousness... And maybe as time goes by I'll stop having these altogether. Maybe I won't be able to realize I'm lame anymore.

PPPS : Wow. I'm creeped.

I like depressing things

Wed Jul 16, 2014, 7:29 AM
  • Listening to: Depressing (read below for def.) songs by Souchon
  • Drinking: Black tea with sugar. I miss milk.
I like depressing things. More specifically, I suppose, depressing fiction.

And I don't mean the kind of fiction that's just going to exaggerate over a saddy-faddy-d4rkly tr4gic fact to force the whining and weeping out of the audience. I really don't care for that.
No. I mean the kind that tells it how it is, that takes reality in all its absurdity and purposelessness and shoves it right in your face to make you see the facts. The kind of reality some people can't seem to bear to take sometimes although they can perfectly take gr4nd murder or gr4nd tr4gedy.

Nothing hurts more than the truth. And then again, I wouldn't give up on the truth for the whole wide world.
I guess each and everyday I'm kind of reminded what Platon meant by that cavern thing. And it feels... Can I say good? Yeah, I guess I'll say good.

Okay so I don't know but it's nice

Wed Jul 2, 2014, 4:50 AM
  • Reading: Wiki pages about films I've seen long ago
  • Drinking: Coke with Fifa World Cup images on the can
So... Um, as I browsed my DeviantArt messages this morning, I noticed that something was a bit off.
The ads weren't here anymore.

It seems, as it turns out, that someone gave me another 12 months of Premium Membership. To be very frank, I'm not a bright person so I'm not even really sure who that even is, but, whoever it is... Many thanks. Many, many thanks. It made my day.

Also, life is good right now, overall. The present is good and as usual the future is uncertain, but you know, it might not be that bad. I don't know.

  • Watching: The sunshine by the window
  • Drinking: Coke Light
Because I know that anything I do is most likely to result in rejection, so it doesn't motivate me.

…I think.

I got tagged to describe an OC. Whut.

Tue Apr 22, 2014, 4:17 PM
  • Eating: Chocolate
  • Drinking: Coke Zero

J'ai été taggée par :iconminachawn: ET par :iconakiyura: . On désobéit pas à un double tag… Iguess…
Normalement je ferais pas ça, mais y a cette petite série de strips sur laquelle je travaille sans trop savoir si ça me mènera où que ce soit, comme d'hab… Alors bon, autant me servir de ce truc pour m'entraîner sur l'un des persos. Histoire de tirer quelque chose de tout ça, quoi… Ce gars n'est même pas ce qu'on pourrait appeler un "OC", sauf si on considère que le terme d'"original character" peut vraiment être pris au sens le plus propre et le plus brut du terme. Il est dans son propre canon, un canon que je suis seule à connaître I guess, et il se suffit à lui-même… I guess aussi. Enfin bref. Bla, bla, bla.

Règles
 :


My Purple Bullet - F2U! Choisir un OC pour qu’il réponde aux questions.  
My Purple Bullet - F2U! Vous pouvez faire sauter trois questions si elles spoil trop votre histoire.
My Purple Bullet - F2U! Tagger seulement 5 personnes en allant les prévenir sur leur page.

Je respecterai pas cette dernière règle. D'abord parce que j'aime pas tagger, ensuite parce de toutes façons les trois quarts des francophones que je connais ici ont déjà dû se tagger entre eux. XD

Sur ce, allons-y… I guess. Gosh, it's weird.

Questions Bases :

 Comment t’appelles-tu ? 
J'ai pas de nom. La créatrice m'en a pas donné. Pas pour l'instant du moins.

  Quel âge as-tu ? 
Entre 7 et 10 ans. À vous de deviner mon vrai âge. (En fait, la créatrice a pas décidé non plus.)

 Quand et où es-tu né(e) ?
Y a quelques années à Paris.

  Comment est ta ville natale ? 
Tout le monde y voit que la Tour Eiffel. Tout le monde est con. La Tour Eiffel c'est beau mais c'est loin d'être le seul truc à voir à Paris, ni ce que j'y préfère. J'aime bien aller jouer dans des parcs, tant que j'y perds pas mon ballon. Et j'aime bien être à des points de vue très hauts pour voir l'humanité qui rampe et qui grouille et aussi autant de monuments parisiens que possible dans un même temps.


Questions Famille :

 Qui sont tes parents ? 
Ben, ma mère et mon père. Vous attendez pas à ce que la créatrice les présente, j'crois qu'elle veut les garder invisibles.

  Que font-ils dans la vie ? 
Je sais pas trop et je m'en fous. Il est clair en tout cas que leurs boulots les ennuient. Je les respecte parce qu'ils ne cherchent pas à le cacher, ni aux autres ni à eux-mêmes.

 As-tu des frères et sœurs ? Si non, aurais-tu aimé en avoir ? 
Non, je suis fils unique. Pour l'instant. Je sais pas trop comment c'est d'avoir un frère ou une soeur donc je ne formulerai pas d'opinion sur une chose dont je ne sais rien.

  Qui t’as pris(e) dans les bras en premier ? 
En-dehors de mes parents, ma meilleure amie (il semble que c'est ma meilleure amie). Elle a pas de nom non plus.

 Est-ce la personne que tu aimes le plus au monde actuellement ? 
Ben, oui, ça doit être elle. Ma meilleure amie, ou quoi qu'elle soit d'autre. Elle a pas toujours raison mais personne n'a jamais toujours raison. Elle a quand même raison plus souvent que les autres.

Questions Noires :

  De quoi as-tu peur ? 
D'arriver, à l'âge adulte, à un tel niveau de déni que je serai persuadé que mon boulot de merde est en fait un boulot génial. Là, ce serait le début de la fin, et un début plutôt fracassant.

 De qui as-tu peur ? 
De personne. De moi-même si je deviens stupide, j'imagine.

 Plongé dans la solitude, à quoi penses-tu ? 
Je pense à l'absurdité de l'existence, de la vie, à ce que nous apprennent (soit-disant) les livres d'images, au vrai, au faux, au divertissement, à ce qui est important, et de fil en aiguille à la mort. Ça finit à peu près toujours sur la mort.

 Ton pire souvenir ?
Un jour j'ai dit un truc si réaliste à une personne que j'appréciais, que le visage de cette personne s'est un peu décomposé et qu'elle ne m'a plus adressé la parole pendant toute une journée. Ce que j'avait dit avait dû être vraiment choquant. C'était la vérité, bien sûr. Mais c'était la première fois que je proférais moi-même une vérité qui blesse, et c'est franchement désagréable.

Te hante-t-il encore ? 
Je m'en souviens. Après, quant à savoir si je dois vraiment regretter ce que j'ai fait, je suis encore un peu perdu. Ce serait contre mes principes mais pas contre mes émotions.

Questions Tendresse : (ugh)

 Dans les moments sombres, qui te console ? 
Elle. (J'vais l'appeler "elle" en fait, c'est plus simple.)

  Comment fait-il/elle ?
C'te question. Elle raisonne plus simplement que moi. Donc ça lui vient naturellement. Elle a probablement une opinion plus optimiste de la vie aussi, après tout.

 Est-ce la personne que tu aimes le plus ? 
Ben, oui.

  (Si non) Qui aimes-tu le plus ? 
C'était pas non, donc voilà.

 Que fais-tu avec lui pour passer du bon temps ? 
D'abord c'est pas "lui" en l'occurrence, c'est "elle". Et… On discute. J'aime bien discuter. Je crois qu'elle aussi.

  Qui sont tes meilleurs amis ? 
Elle. Et mon ballon. Et mon doudou. Mais je suis à un âge où mon doudou va bientôt me quitter graduellement, d'après mes prévisions. Alors autant profiter du peu de temps qu'il me reste avec lui.

 Quel est ton meilleur souvenir ? 
Un jour j'ai perdu mon ballon au parc. J'étais furieux parce que j'étais persuadé que si quelqu'un le trouvait il le garderait pour lui. Ça a pas été le cas. Une personne l'a retrouvé, a déduit que c'était à moi et me l'a rendu le jour suivant. Ça fait très bizarre quand les règles qui régissent habituellement le monde et l'humanité sont ébranlées d'un seul coup par une action allant dans le sens inverse. Mais c'est une bonne chose, vraiment. Ça veut dire, si j'y réfléchis bien, que l'humanité est plus forte qu'elle veut bien se le faire croire.

Question Avenir :

  Quel est ton rêve ? 
Habiter dans une boîte en carton quand je serai grand. Pourquoi? Parce que j'aime avoir des rêves que je suis sûr de pouvoir réaliser.

 Souhaites-tu te marier ? 
Je ne sais pas si ça rend les choses plus faciles. J'en doute. Je ne sais pas qui aurait le cerveau assez bien accroché pour me supporter non plus, pour être franc.

  Veux-tu avoir des enfants ? 
Si ça vient. Et si ça vient, je veux les éduquer comme mes parents m'ont éduqué. Jusqu'ici ils font un excellent boulot pour ce qui est de ne pas me prendre pour un con.

 Te projettes-tu vraiment dans l’avenir ?
QUEL avenir?




So long.