Mature Content
This content is intended for mature audiences
Log in to confirm your age

Deviation Actions

ailolai's avatar

Literature Text

This content is unavailable.
Moorgash, the orc warlord, from Walt-Marsters novel, is returning home with four very young slaves. Skal, a human stable boy has became sick and is becoming a burden to his brutal master. What would his future be?
Published:   |  Mature
© 2021 ailolai
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Walt-Marsters's avatar

I think they should stay together for a while, and, if the boy still has relatives, maybe go to Midgard. If not, staying with Ormurin sounds pretty good. :)

I really like this story. A lot. I'm even tempted to allow it to be canon. I'll tell you a little secret. In the original concepts of my story, Moorgash and Falco would never reconcile. Moorgash would never grudgingly have started to like Falco/Claw. He was just a brutal Warlord and Claw would some day escape and become a great leader who would defeat Moorgash and his Horde. But the story evolved and it seemed more interesting to go for a more difficult reconciliation between the two peoples than simply one defeating the other in war. That was what they had been doing for a thousand years. That meant Moorgash would have to become more sympathetic and even likeable at times. However much of his brutality remained and sort of had to remain at the start of the story. Still, I kinda regretted him killing that boy. Yes, it was sort of a mercy killing, but still. Later, Moorgash evolved more in somebody with little scruples towards adults in general and warriors in particular, but he never directly and on purpose killed pups. That one was a bit harsh. I suppose it was still necessary, because it was only through his interactions with Claw that he started to change, but I still had and have conflicted feelings about him killing that kid.

So, maybe the boy survived after all ... Maybe ... Maybe Moorgash even knew of the crazy 'prophet' or 'holy' Orc living in the vicinity, and he left the, to him worthless, kid there on purpose as a gift to the weirdo. But that's just me doing a bit of retconning ;-)

Anyway, thank you very much. I really enjoyed it and it took me back for a bit to the great time when I was still at the start of writing this big but terribly flawed epic high fantasy adventure. :la:

ailolai's avatar

I am glad you like. Oh, that's an understated understatement .

I feel that writing a long novel, like yours is, it's a bit like a trail in the woods, you end up learning where you going to only after walking through the thing.

So, you might want to consider to...

(how may I say this?)

give your adventure a second try and re-write the whole thing, not from a blank page but reforming the start so the ending can flow more naturally.

Moorgash, for example, could have, at the start, a more conflicting nature between the Big Macho Orc Warlord he is .and. needs to show up and the wiser creature he is to become. So Moorgash being "sloppy" on purpose with Skal could work on that, but Falco/Craw would still not be able to figure it out. You may want to add other incidents with that general idea, and they might be fun to write and read... little stories within the big story, just like in the Lord of the Rings.

Walt-Marsters's avatar

Those dancing doggies are hilariously cyoot.

Yes, what you say, is absolutely right. Although a number of pivotal events and certain developments were planned from the start, the vast majority of the story was sort of made up as I went along, characters and side stories and adventures were added, based on remarks, suggestions or ideas that were mentioned in comments, or in the chatroom of Aiers on DA. Yes, in those early days, people actually did that, until they lost interest somewhere around 'The Northern Enigma'. It was fun, but it had its problems. The whole story should be revisited and revised, this time more meticulously planned and with the elimination of a lot of fan service, side stories and tons of characters (or better worked out so they have a purpose. Although I think eliminiation is preferable). I already identified several problems. The excessive number of characters, as mentioned earlier, lack of character arcs, insufficient setting up of the more hidden but huge demonic threat, and so on. I even wonder, in today's cultural environment, if I shouldn't change the names of gods and references to actual existing people (Caledonia, Erin ...) and replace them with completely fictional names.

However, I wrote something approaching to ten books, in the past 8 years. The work would be gigantic and monumental and the realization that I would be doing all this work, basically just for myself, as nobody would be interested in going through that whole thing again (as there weren't that many interested to begin with, and the vast majority had left long before the end was reached in the original version), would make things only harder (from a motivational standpoint).

So, although I am aware of the fact this would be a good thing, I don't think it will ever happen. I'll just proceed with the Great Purge, I think. Probably better for my mental stability. ;-)

ailolai's avatar

If you do it properly, it has potential. Unless, of course, you have another novel brewing up in that head of yours

Walt-Marsters's avatar

No, I got burned out on my Yorden attempt V__V

ailolai's avatar

I know the feeling

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In