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How do you

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 20, 2014, 12:40 AM

So, what do you guys use as your reasons to keep moving forward? Do you know what they are? Why do you feel they are good options?

Also here is some artwork from fantabulous peoples I have found in recent months who inspire me in this time.

KINGASINNEN by HasaBattle  Adezanokitshune by HasaBattle Sunny days by Kate-FoX

Hugs of the ocean by Kate-FoX  Sea devil by Kate-FoX  The Decay by wickedalucard  

MinoMonsters Forest Assets by hellcorpceo MinoMonsters Cave Assets by hellcorpceo Avenge these Broken Hearts by hellcorpceo  Lungri by CanisAlbus  Tezcatlipoca by CanisAlbus  Kalevankarhu by CanisAlbus 

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SharkyToof Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Student Digital Artist

you're fabulous kat

I'm fabulous

you get a fabulous

everyone gets a fabulous
Ahkward Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
There are many feels lately. ;-;
amziss Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I read it all, I'm too tired to write a whole bunch of stuff. But I get what you mean.
But I have to say your art is really good.
And I dont just say that because you are 'better than me' or because I like you or any of that.
Comparing your art to all the art in the entire world, yours is just good. And nothing wrong about it.
And also think like this, you can only get better at drawing, there is no steps back.
Even when you stop drawing for months and lost some sense of things while drawing, within the smallest amount of time
you'll get back to the level you were.

Keep strong, get better in the styles you draw in. You can do it : ))
YummySprinkeLollipop Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Student
There will always be SOMEONE who loves your artwork and is touched by it. = ) I adore the Naor world you have created and I LOVE looking at your landscapes. Drawing those are out right DIFFICULT and the lightening and colors you use are always awesome its like my eyes have an eyegasm and my heart explodes from all the pretty colors. You have your own style with landscapes! = ) Sorry for the random comment in a way just wanted to bring you some positivity. I hope your doubts do not discourage you too much and instead drive you like you are now, to become even better and keep working hard. If we never had those feelings, we would never want to get better. = ) Thank you for sharing this ahkward, it means a lot to me to see other people struggling with their self-esteem and be honest about it. ^^
Ahkward Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
It's fine, I don't mind lengthy comments. :P I'm here on dA to interact with people. I did post this in hopes of people seeing that everyone suffers from self doubt and problems from time to time. 

I'm glad that you enjoy Naor, I've put a lot of work into it. I can only hope that people enjoy it when I finally get to release it later this year. I guess I put a lot of pressure on myself because of NAor. I want to improve so much because I want Naor to be the best it can. However, with it being a project that will probably last 5-10 years, I know I WILL get better and the art in the first few chapters won't be as good as art a year from now. I just want a good product for people. 
YummySprinkeLollipop Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Student
Yeah, but I think either way the people who like it will like it and really enjoy seeing your art progress. I think there was this one sonic artist on here who made comics and her art was horrible at first and then over time, after like 7 chapters, it was AMAZING like woah it was crazy. complete difference = )

i will always follow you and Naor bwahaha and when i get a job i will try to support you by buying stuff if you ever sale anything = )
Ahkward Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
I'm glad to think people are actually following me and my progress. And yes, only the Prologue will be free online for everyone to see. The rest I will be charging for. I simply cannot afford to be doing this for free.
YummySprinkeLollipop Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student
(prays for job soon) D<
Ahkward Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Oh you have plenty of time. XD
Wazzlecoon Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've been drawing my whole life, and I feel just the same as you almost everyday and I'm only a junior in high school. I look at my work and how lacking it is. It doesn't help that my self esteem is shot from years of berating and hating myself and by extension the work I make. Hence why none of it ever shows up on DA or any place else. I look at everyone else's awesome beautiful art then look at what I've drawn and honestly I become very jealous and bitter about it. If not for :iconyummysprinkelollipop: I would probably have given up and often times I too wonder if any of it is worth the effort or if I'll ever make it out there. But you know what I tell those demons, to stuff it. That they can go straight back to the hell from which they came because I am not having any of their shit. I tell myself I will be an artist no matter how much blood sweat or tears it takes or how much this shit world we live in discourages me! Even if I don't ever get much recognition when I'm alive, who cares its what I love. If I make it great, if not then I'll keep on drawing. I just have to keep a cool head and keep on trucking. 
But when I feel tired or rundown from drawing and everything I make isn't turning out how I want it, I take a break. I go on the internet, watch a funny video, talk to my friends, play a video game, just something that distracts my mind and allows my to refresh. Then when I come back to my art, often times out of the blue the thing that was stumping me will just make sense and I can continue on till the next road block. 

And so what if you didn't earn your way into going to the con, yeah that does take away some of the value from it but it's still an opportunity, and one that may not come again. It's better to go and try and perhaps fail, than not go and later on realize the mistake and regret it. You may get noticed you may get ignored but thats the risk artists have to learn to take. 
Scarlet-Wings-Kaili Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Student
I don't know if this well make you feel better, but a late start doesn't mean failure. Van Gogh started drawing really late in his life and I don't think people consider him as a failure now. On the dark side, he only sold one painting in his life-time -___-; 

You are not a horrible person. It's easy to talk about what you believe in, but it's harder to live in what you believe in. If you think that makes you a bad person, then at least you aren't someone who holds a contest for laughter and happiness while living in a pit of despair! And you rock at drawing trees and rocks (excuse the pun there). Your audience is not the same audience as your classmates. My mom would trade away my people drawing skills for rocks, trees and water skills in a blink of an eye. Other than my room, there is only art of landscapes in my house...  so rocks: definitively not useless!

As far as my experience with people's reaction with my art, it's a bit different from yours. I was born with some developmental issues, so for the first part of my life, I partly depended on art to communicate. So because of all the practice my classmates thought I was more talented at art than they were. But they couldn't believe it was the hard-work so some how the only thing I was known for was art. At first I didn't care about what other people thought. Having speech difficulties meant that I wasn't going to have many conversations with people so I was mostly absorbed in my artwork.  But then my English got better and my art still got better. I began hearing "I can't draw", "Why bother trying when you could draw like that?", "I quit" from my classmates. It felt really bad. I didn't want them to stop drawing because I was drawing. I began hiding my artwork and to this day I have a little freak-out every time I hear "I quit". I couldn't stop drawing because that was how I coped with everything. Then magically everyone's expectations soared... there are "jokes" about the next famous artist and so on, but I'm just  a normal person. I don't have a super natural talent for art, I just work really hard. My artwork isn't even that great compared to many other people. So under all the expectations, I feel really really inadequate. So I forced myself to practice, to keep drawing until hands ache, to sleep less, play less, draw more. And to be honest, I don't even feel close to where everyone expects me to be. So why keep going on? Art is my savior but it is also my poison. 

I sat down, and thought: Why did I love art so much? 
It was my language
It was my escape
It was my identity
It was my story-teller
It was me.

So the answer to your question(s): Don't care. You have to separate yourself from your artwork. What they say about your artwork is not who you are. Feedback can be harsh but that does not make you, just in the same way numbers (marks) do not define who someone is. I rather hang out with someone who doesn't give up than someone who doesn't try to make "good art" (whatever that is). Teleport yourself to the land of Noar and remember why you loved it so much. I find when I just started doing my own things (and not even bothering with the rocks and trees my mom wanted) I am a lot happier. I'm still trying to break free from the weight of the expectations but I can only do things at my pace, my way. When I remember why I love art, I don't care about what other people think. And that is how I keep moving forward.

Sorry for the mini-novel. I kinda got carried away, but I hope that it helps.
larebabysaiyan Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student General Artist
I really hope you feel better :hug: you are not a horrible person for feeling this way--it is human and very common and natural.
Things will work out for the best.Just face fear daily, and keep breaking your paradigms.
I wish you the best.
MissBabyMint Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll admit freely, art is hard. Barely anyone ever has sheer talent to begin with, which makes it different from sports or other college majors. In sports, if you can run fast, you have the leg up in almost every sport. In other majors, if you can learn and memorize efficiently, you're set to go. In art, its a hit or miss. There is no right or wrong way to do something.

There is no baseline.

And with no baseline means everyone will be compared with the teacher's list of checkboxes, and even if you pass that list, the next teacher's list will be totally different anyways. There is no win-win situation. 

Art is expressive, and I for one, can literally feel the emotions the artist was feeling while painting/drawing it. Maybe its the colors, or the jaggedness of the lines. Maybe its the style of ink work or shading. I see it in everyone's art, even if they can't see it in their own. As I've found out recently, I don't think many people can actually do this. It actually makes it very hard for me to paint anything because I can see that my skills are not where they need to be to portray the emotion that I want to. So I end up trashing the whole thing. 

So Ahk, I know exactly where you're coming from. I have always felt the same about being handed a free ticket into something versus earning your seat. And I also understand the lack of motivation. I may not understand everything, but I understand enough to be able to sympathize. 
~MBM <33
Noxa-chan Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I may not be in college quite yet, but I understand how you feel for the most part. I have been drawing my entire life, but all my friends tend to get the better end of the stick all the time, and when I do actually get something, I almost always feel like it's out of pity rather than me earning it. It's pretty tough to cope with.
I can say, though, that I personally love your art. The style of it is so nice, and I love how you do the landscapes. I admire people who can draw backgrounds and things well, because I can't, and I don't think you should take that for granted! And honestly, those art shows are missing out on some real great work here. You have a great style going on.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling! Sometimes you've just gotta hear something nice from a total stranger to feel like you're worth something.
banamaru Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Apologize for the spam but this… I think it'll be really helpful.
banamaru Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Also I suggest you watch all of his videos. They're extremely helpful and inspiring.
banamaru Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I've recently posted a silly journal on my frustration about my work. I feel like I suck and am very competitive because I feel I'm lacking the skills. Though there's always some room for improvement and even if you don't draw like a god, you still have chances at succeeding. Take Pendleton Ward for example. He may not draw so well but he still got to have his own show. And it's a BOMB. So I believe that ideas are often more important than your overall drawing skills. I saw on a video.. here:… watch this and I'm sure you'll feel better.
So if you have the story, the art in it is a minor thing. What matters is the idea.
Skrayle Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank you. So much. For that video. This guys is amazing, and really has so many wonderful things to say for all levels of artists. I really needed to hear some of the things he said. I know I'm just some random commenter, but thanks :'D

Also, can I say I second your point about ideas being more important? I have heard countless top artists and people at gaming companies and whatnot say the same thing. They'd rather see someone with kick-butt original ideas and mediocre artwork (because it can be improved!) than someone with knock-your-socks-off art and....mediocre content/ideas. :)
banamaru Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I'm glad it was of help to you! I think this guy deserves all the praises for helping many artists keep inspired. His videos are golden. 

Yes yes! There's also the creator of Attack on Titan. His drawings are average, but his storytelling is great. That's what got him to the top and he didn't even have to learn all the drawing 'tricks'. So there's hope for everyone if you have a good head and fresh ideas. Also you can learn to draw in the process of developing your ideas! So it's 2 with one shot.
Also it's funny how when someone copies the Disney style, people say hey you should work for Disney! Actually.. nope. Disney and several other companies turn down copiers because they already have hundreds of people doing that for them. What they need is fresh new stuff. Stuff they haven't seen yet! Yet people fail to realize that. 
FauxusLight Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Me being 15, I have only begun to understand these things,
but one thing I do understand is that if you have been given a chance the best option is to take it,
because if we don't it flies on to the next person,
and we spend our future regretting it,
I choose on the basis of whether or not I will regret it,
and so far I have plenty of things to regret,
I'm not confident,
I have conditions which state that I have no confidence whatsoever,
However I want try to earn my share,
If I lose then I can regret when I'm dead,
once I've worked till my eyes shut themselves I know I've done my part,

I'm worried that everything I've written so far,
either makes no sense or is discouraging,
I'm very unsure of what I say,
I'm sooo much more open when it come to talking directly,
But the only thing I can bring myself to to do,
is to write this little essay on my understandings,
I'm very lucky compared to other people,
and I understand this but again,
I'm just a 15 year old...
ArcadianPhoenix Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
My beloved Ahk.... I too feel as you do and quite often. I'm no one special, nor have I ever really pursued ANYTHING with my life. I drew on and off growing up but never really had it as a passion. I suppose when I was younger my passions were for writing and music. I too was a band geek in highschool. But even that only lasted me a few years before I lost interest. I am constantly trying things and giving up after only a few months. My family tries to be encouraging and some of them really believe I'm talented in the things I pursue (particularly my creative pursuits) but they just don't share any real interest. My husband is the worst offender. He'll come over when I draw something or crochet something and say "Oh that's nice." then walk away. And while I appreciate the effort... it kind of makes me feel worse. Like my work is meaningless. I've only been drawing as a passion for a few weeks. I get berated and put down because I do it too often. I tend to throw myself into things completely when I pick them up as a passion. I know it's a problem but I can't help it. I try to moderate myself but eventually it consumes me again. It's very hard for me to ever stay motivated. But I've found something different this time. Something I've never had before.

I've found you.

You and Kep and Tatchit and Shark and everyone else... you give me someone to talk art to... someone to be passionate with. Someone to get ideas from and to shape my own ideas. You also give me inspiration, inspire me to get better. Your work is absolutely amazing. I don't care what other people think. But it's important that we find the value in our own work too. Sure we could pick our work apart with all the flaws. It's how we improve. We know what not to do next time. But it's also important that we enjoy what we've made. See that this came from me... by myself... out of my head. I am good even if they don't see it. There's always someone better. For me, it's you. I'm just lucky enough to have artists better than me that don't (at least seem to) think I'm beneath their notice.

For that... I am grateful.

Thank you, Ahk.... for everything.


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April 20, 2014


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