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away

i'm going to break away




drain

      i'm
     in
    the
    drain
     of
      drains
       and
        slowly
         being
          spun
           downwards
          and
         downwards
        and
       downwards
      and



       down
          wards.




thirteen

Mom's rose garden grew beneath the steps, and I did too. They weren't aligned and it bothered me. I always tried to fight it but she would come down and lay her hand on my bare skin and whisper, "They aren't growing."

And I would be red like the roses and blue like the violets.

She grew beneath the steps too.




past

notlookingforthepastorthe f u t u r e   e       e       e          e              e





set

set down the lighter
put it down.

don't make it brighter.

I set the roses on fire.





ingenuity

she never knew I     them on fire.
              I set them on fire.
her hands on my bare skin and whisper,

they          aren't           growing
roses were red
violets were crumbling
soon they were dead
petals
      were
           tumbling.





fungus fungus
fungus fungus


she grew


              too
         steps
      the
beneath





hide
       H
       I                          monster monster    monster monster     monster
hide me D                  monster  monster    monster    monster      monster
       E                                      mother
vulnerable
       M
       E





me

         leave


                            me





stone


can always
be cut
into

p
i  e
c

e

   s
A story of a boy and his monstrous mother, his shattered past, and the horrors he discovered in his very home.

[EDIT]
Holy bananas, a Daily Deviation? Me? :shocked: I can't believe it, thank you! Thank you for your support, favorites, and comments! :love:

Part II of XI.
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-09-21
Black Widow II by ~AeroModo is a highly experimental piece that highlights a dysfunctional, abusive relationship in a powerful way, the suggester describes. ( Suggested by betwixtthepages and Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconmeubanks:
meubanks Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
This poem leaves me numb. Not much more I can say about it. Powerful stuff.
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconskullhips:
skullhips Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
OH MY GOSH THIS :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
I love this too much but it's worth it :faint:
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: Thank you so much.
Reply
:iconskullhips:
skullhips Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
No problemo :hug: :hug: :hug:
Reply
:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
At first I was apprehensive about this series. But now I'm completely on board. I love the formatting-- it really adds to the piece whereas some visual poetry takes away. This clearly doesn't. Well done spud!
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you as always! :iconbowplz:
Reply
:iconmadameshadowenn:
madameshadowenn Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there, I'm Jasmine, a staff blogger at :iconpoeticalcondition:. Just letting you know I've featured this piece here: fav.me/d6o5gfj
It's our round-up of members who have received a DLD or a DD in the past few weeks, so please do check it out!
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. :D
Reply
:iconmadameshadowenn:
madameshadowenn Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconl-inque:
L-Inque Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I can't find the right words to describe how this made me feel.  
The imagery was very personal for me.  
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, and I'm glad to hear that.
Reply
:iconjestintzi:
jestintzi Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Professional Writer
I'm going to give you an observation for perhaps revision. If you don't want the observation, ignore what comes after this. This is a disclaimer because people always get upset when you don't post "I LOVE IT" (though I like it)

I think that the first part is a lot less interesting than this one. I think that you might benefit from finding from the first part the bits that are more poetically interesting and not commentary on what a self is, because those parts (and a large chunk of part I) came off as rather blase to me. They didn't have any surprise in the lines, like I feel this one has. I think that there's some really lovely stuff here though, I love the rose and the steps thing, and I don't think you need to really try and set up this kid as some special kid like you do in part I. I think that you could very easily (and should consider) starting with this rose stuff because it is really hooking. The first part (which I read second) seemed much too conventional for what you seem to be capable of. 
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ooh, I'm glad. I always enjoy Critiques more than just praise (although that's appreciated as well). :squee:

The story does pick up after a while, though. I might end up changing a bit of One, because your suggestion is true. Thank you! :D

Reply
:iconjestintzi:
jestintzi Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Professional Writer
You're welcome! I'm always apprehensive trying to be helpful on deviantart because people don't ever take it. I think the poem has some really good stuff in it, and that if you are able to trim it down to the best and most interesting pieces, and not try to do too much (if you want to do all the things you're trying to do you might be better off making a connected sequence) you might get something really quite interesting. As I said, the beneath the stairs is the highlight thus far, and you might try and find a way to organize the poem around that idea, and really think about starting with it because I think it is really a beautiful and interesting image and might be a good thing to come back to over and over throughout the poem as a sort of backbone for the poem to tug against. I still have to read part three, and maybe I'll put a comment on it if I have anything helpful to say.  
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Some people on dA should learn to accept constructive criticism. :no: And thank you for yet another extension of the Critique! The basement (under the stairs) actually plays a key role later. I've written up until 53, which would be V (five).

I'm not sure how much you'll like Three, as it's quite a bit of filler, maybe a bit of foreshadowing, if you can read the symbolism.
Reply
:icongummyrabbit:
gummyrabbit Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Student Writer
I really like how you wrote "not looking for the past or the future".  Poignant and very visually beautiful as well.
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconalabaster-islie:
alabaster-Islie Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
Spinning a web
The father is dead
And the babies are on their way
Hour glass, red
long thin legs
And the venom will take the pain away
Don't forget she sits in the corner
You just cant simply ignore her
But she is here to stay
~silent somebody~
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That was beautiful. I love the imagery. :D
Reply
:iconalabaster-islie:
alabaster-Islie Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013
thanks {:
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
:iconbravoplz: So proud of you. 
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconcryforeverplz:
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013
:iconletmehugyouplz:
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013
:D
Reply
:iconghearradh:
ghearradh Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
beautiful! i can definitely feel the emotions in this. 
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconmisbehave:
Misbehave Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist
I love poetry, but none usually stand out to me as much as this does. This is a very creative and original collection, each piece telling part of the story.
I'm very impressed with this, it is well written and the display only adds to its emotion!
Congratulations on the DD, it is well-deserved. Thanks so much for sharing! :)
:+favlove:
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. :squee:
Reply
:iconmisbehave:
Misbehave Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist
You're very welcome! :D
Reply
:iconask-unnoticedbrotrio:
((Wow.. the emotions are so deep.. This is truly the best piece of literature I've ever seen on deviantART.))
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That is quite a compliment! Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconask-unnoticedbrotrio:
((You're very welcome!))
Reply
:iconxmel0dyx:
xMel0dyx Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is cool
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconfake-theory:
fake-theory Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
this is amazing. <3
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much.
Reply
:iconjuliadash:
JuliaDash Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Student General Artist
I love it! 
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconjuliadash:
JuliaDash Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Student General Artist
No problem<3
Reply
:iconourfallenangel:
OurFallenAngel Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love "Hide". Monster, monster, monster ...mother
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:iconourfallenangel:
OurFallenAngel Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahaha. :iconiloveitplz:
Reply
:iconmorticia-lynne:
Morticia-Lynne Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Student Writer
I couldn't quite get the story on the first run, but reading it a second time I started getting it. Beautiful job, with or without understanding doesn't matter.
Reply
:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It may have confused you if you didn't read Part I. I'm glad you can understand it now, though. :D

Thank you!
Reply
:iconlomatic:
lomatic Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Riveting! 
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconlomatic:
lomatic Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
a real pleasure!
Reply
:iconsuper-kibbles:
Super-kibbles Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
blown away. really. unforgettable piece
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Submitted on
July 19, 2013
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