SpaceStationLARGE

We bring you a special report by Raine Sagan, Corporate News Network, from the New Xinjiapo Space Center, EastasiaZone.

At 14.23 hours UT, the World Friendship Orbital Platform passed through the Great Barrier of Equestria. The space station was orbiting at an altitude of two hundred and eighty kilometers, and despite efforts over the past several weeks to adjust its trajectory, it was considered inevitable that the collision would occur.

The fifty taikonauts, civilians, corporate elite, and security personnel on board made use of their emergency supply of ponification serum one hour before the impact with the now 1500 mile diameter sphere that represents the intrusion of Equestria into our spacetime. All successfully ponified before impact with the Great Barrier.

The government of Equestria has been on standby for the last several weeks, and had a large team of pegasai and unicorns on airships ready to assist and catch the taikonauts the moment they entered Equestrian spacetime. Thanks to the unique physics of Equestria, the taikonauts were not harmed during entry, despite their immense relative speed, and all were safely rescued. Prior to entry, the taikonauts sent messages to their loved ones and to corporate leaders.

The space platform itself, seen here, penetrated the Great Barrier at 14.23.11 and as you can see immediately transformed into what appears to be flowers, confetti, balloons, and soap bubbles. This is a normal reaction for high speed objects penetrating the metachaosis field that constitutes part of the structure of the Great Barrier.

For an explanation, I turn to Govinda Clarke, exophysics expert at the Sri Lanka Institute of Physics. Welcome, Govinda.

"Many welcomes to you, Raine."

Can you explain to our viewers what the Great Barrier is, and how it can turn a fifty quadrillion credit space station into flowers and bubbles?

"I can but attempt to try, my good Raine. The Equestrian Barrier is not, as some untoward individuals might imagine, a deliberate fence which prevents human beings from entering the land of the ponies. Rather it is entirely the reaction of one set of physics encountering another set of physics and is an example of what we call a 'Domain Wall', the interface between two universes.

It was long believed that any interaction between domain walls would be destructive in nature, releasing vast quantities of heat and light and dangerous radiation which would cook the very universe itself. But what we failed to take into account was that we cannot judge such things on the basis of our own physical laws alone, and that other universes may have something to say in the matter!"

So what, exactly, does the Great Barrier Of Equestria have to say, Govinda?

"I would be very pleased to explain this, my dear Raine. The Great Barrier is composed of several folded layers, acting much like the waves at the bow of a boat, or the shock waves created by a jet traveling at the speed of sound. These layers affect matter from our universe in strange and curious ways, but these ways are somewhat predictable.

Material, unalive objects entering the Barrier at very slow relative speeds transform gradually into appropriate forms, as we have seen with cities and buildings and roads on the Northamerizone continent. Alive objects may enter freely - though they do seem to experience rapid and remarkable changes which conform them to Equestrian principles. This is true for all animal species except for primates, which for some reason we have yet to determine, suffer terrible burns and which are blocked entirely from entry."

Why primates, Govinda? And aren't humans primates?

"Indeed we are, my good Raine. We are all primates, the greatest of the Great Apes. Much has been done to discover why primate tissue is the only form of life that is entirely blocked from entry to the Equestrian cosmos. One possibility is that our level of awareness may interact negatively with the nature of thaumatism, following the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum reality. If so, this could represent evidence that consciousness itself has some kind of direct interaction with..."

What about the space station? Don't fast moving objects react differently from slow moving objects?

"Ah, yes... well, fast moving objects, such as missiles, planes and of course the space station become many random, harmless things which are diffuse and separate in their distribution. This is all due to the effect of what is called the metachaosis field. Much of the physics of the universe of Equestria has been affected far in the past by a godlike being which was called 'Discord'. This entity, long since contained, was a creature of purest chaos. There is some evidence that he may be responsible, in some fundamental way, for the existence of Equestria at all. But in any case, pockets of chaos still exist within Equestria as remnants of the battle against this strange creature, and of course the Barrier itself reflects the essential truth of the impact of Discord on the physics of the entire Equestrian cosmos."

And this is why the space station became a cloud of bubbles and flowers?

"Oh, my, my dearest Raine, that is precisely what I am saying. It is my personal assessment, however, that the effects of this chaotic field are constantly ameliorated by the princesses, as best as it is possible for them to do. Consider that chaos is quite, well, chaotic, and that the transformation of objects which pass through the Barrier is inevitably one of conversion into harmless, and dare I say, whimsical objects which can do no damage to any creature whatsoever. This cannot be accidental, it is my assertion, and that it must therefore be the result of the princesses, themselves nearly all-powerful beings, somehow influencing the metachaosis field to the best of their ability.

If this was not the case, then the space station might have easily been transformed into something dangerous, or something which would have trapped the unfortunate crew inside itself, such that their doom would be inevitable. The station might have become molten lava, or hot plasma, or any number of unpleasant and disturbing possibilities which I am sure your astute audience could easily imagine. It is the greatest blessing that all that surrounded them upon entry was a cloud of harmless bubbles and colorful flowers. I can only imagine their surprise when this event occurred!"

It certainly must have been something, I would have to agree. Thank you very much for your enlightening report, Govinda, and I wish you all the best there in Sri Lanka.

"And I am thanking you, good Raine, we all very much are enjoying your reports here, I must say."

That was Govinda Clarke, of the Sri Lanka Institute of Physics, giving us his take on the end of the largest space station ever created by Man.

The fifty crewmembers of the space station have been taken to Canterlot Castle, the capitol of Equestria, where it is reported that they are enjoying the special attentions of the court there, and have been given rooms inside the royal palace itself. As guests of honor, they will be given special assistance in adapting to their new status as citizens of Equestria, and as members of the Equestrian species. Apparently, there will also be some sort of welcoming celebration for them, where they will be able to sample the finest of Equestrian cuisine for their first meals. Should be quite a party.

So, to sum up, the World Friendship Orbital Platform has harmlessly impacted the Great Barrier of Equestria, all fifty crewmembers successfully ponified before impact and all have been rescued by the forces of princess Celestia and princess Luna. The crew have been accepted as citizens of Equestria and are currently enjoying what must be a quite enviable party.

This is Raine Sagan, Corporate News Network, from the New Xinjiapo Space Center, EastasiaZone.