A fine bouquet

Perhaps you could italicise some letters in 'trembling' to further emphasise the thought there.

I really like the line breaks and the way you have phrased things here. You've managed to capture the tone and mood of the person well.

I do think that 'For in them is hidden...' is a bit too long? It's also a bit awkward to read.

I also think you could break up/phrase this bit better:

Any kind of change the irregular default; sometimes we're unmade
For handling those kinds of stars.

Any kind of change
irregular default;

sometimes we're unmade for
handling
those kinds of stars

Just something to break up the length and keep to the form of the poem there. It would contrast well with

The same way sentential structures keep their words together like prose.

..which I kind of like, length wise, because it mentions the idea of prose, and prose is typically long and goes across the page fully.

I'm not too sure about the ellipsis at the end. Perhaps you could just have:

...and maybe just a little salt

Make it so there is no punctuation at the end, which leaves it more open to.. well, it reflects life. Perhaps it indicates the openness to chance, or fate.

I think you start to lose the rhythm and phrasing a bit after 'For handling those kinds of stars'. It starts to get a bit loose, and not as cutting as the first bit... I suppose it does reflect what you're describing as the person dreams and such.

It's quite intriguing. I like the flow and the way we've travelled on a journey here, even if it is indirect.