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Like summer giveaways?

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 30, 2018, 1:55 PM



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My art featured in a ProjectEducate contest!

Journal Entry: Sun Jun 10, 2018, 12:52 PM



Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know about a :iconprojecteducate: contest that's going on this month! (Project Educate is a group with a 10 year history - it's a joint venture between dA Community Relations and the user base).

The prompt, quoted from the contest page: For this contest, we are going to present you with a wide variety of inspiring artworks. To enter the contest, you are going to pick 1 of these pieces of art, and you are going to create your own version of it. Your entry can be in any medium, so for example, if you were to choose a digital piece, your entry could be traditional art, literature, photography, whatever you want!

If you're interested, check out the full rules and the available images (all daily devs) below:



1st place prize: 6 month core membership + 2,000 Points

2nd place prize: 3 month core membership + 1,000 Points

3rd place prize: 1 month core membership + 500 Points


Even if you have no interest in participating, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help spread the word about the contest through a journal or status update.

Of course, I'd lose my shit (in a good way) if any of you chose my featured piece:


Thanks for reading!




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Free Twi'lek Giveaway! [WINNER ANNOUNCED]

Journal Entry: Tue Jun 5, 2018, 4:05 PM



And the winner is... Drum roll please :drumroll: by IceXDragon

Winner by Acaciathorn

:iconlady-abbington: ! Congrats, I'll note you a high res copy of the image ^_^




I was originally going to sell this Twi'lek as an adopt, but I like to toss out freebies now and again, so I've decided to give her away in a raffle instead! .:pink little heart:. by Chipi-Chiu


If you're interested in participating, kindly follow these three rules:
  • 1. Be a watcher (new watchers welcome).
  • 2. Share this giveaway via journal or poll.
  • 3. Leave a comment with a link to your post, and tell me your favorite Star Wars species! I will give you a raffle ticket number.

Free Twi'lek Giveaway [CLOSED] by Acaciathorn

This giveaway will end July 1st! I will choose the winner via random number generator.




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  • Listening to: John Denver
  • Eating: Spring Rolls
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Fetish Art Infestation

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 2, 2018, 1:43 PM



I wish deviantArt had a better filtering system for the low-quality, weird-ass fetish art I keep seeing everywhere. I understand people have their kinks, but come ON. I just want to peruse quality art in peace without getting falcon-punched by like, diaper porn or some shit. WTF

...
Also lol @ the people who have noted me and called me prudish or judgy. I'm sorry, but if you get sexually aroused by poop, you're friggin weird dude

EDIT: RingOfFireXL200 shared this old but still functional user-made tag filter. Doesn't fix the issue of improperly tagged art, but it could help weed out some of the most egregious stuff.





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Mermay Art Feature!

Journal Entry: Wed May 16, 2018, 2:51 PM



Some of my all-time favorite mermaid, nixie, and naiad themed art!

Deep Sea Mermaid by dimary Albino Mermaid by cennie

Siren by einlee in the shallows by einlee

Mermaid2017 by Waldemar-Kazak Kind act by Waldemar-Kazak

Fanart - Shipwreck by shilin Mermaid by Marta-Deer

LOVE TO READ | Inside The Bubble (Prints for Sale) by Apolar mermaid by ono-mono

The Siren by Myrmirada Mermay: Deepsea by valentina-s

Nimue - Lady Of The Lake by Raipun

Drift by escume Mermaid and Narwhal : collab with Camilla d'Errico by AmandaDuarte

Clear Fairy by fangogogo Capricornus - MerMay by Amelion

Mermaid and Soldier by Joya-Filomena

DADACHYO-1021 by DADACHYO  I want to share my world with you by j-witless

Siren by CarolineGariba Nixe by Zombiesmile

Grieving Sisters by bayardwu Into the Drowning Deep by snatti89

Pond by Tsvetka

Unrequited by 2Bdubious Blue commission by janaschi

Merman by Ecthelian Fountain of Mermaids by Athena-Erocith

#003 Mermaid by DigitalSashimi The Naiads by ClintCearley

Whitecap Bay by TheKucing mermay by PetitePasserine

Mermaid by DADACHYO Another Mermaid by FransMensinkArtist

The Pirate and the Mermaid by MauricioAbril





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Finally got a toyhou.se!

Journal Entry: Wed May 9, 2018, 10:39 PM



Hopping on the bandwagon SUPER late ^^;

I just made a profile for Jastra. I'm planning to work on other characters over the next week.





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Check this out!

Journal Entry: Fri May 4, 2018, 8:18 PM




If you're interested in possibly getting a request, click here!





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Me begging strangers for help cuz HEALTHCARE

Journal Entry: Thu May 3, 2018, 5:28 PM



Soooo I got a letter in the mail today from Keene, which is the company that supplies me with the medical appliances I REQUIRE TO LIVE because I DON'T HAVE A LARGE INTESTINE, and get this:

Due to quote "drastic and unsustainable reimbursement cuts" on behalf of our state's Medicaid program,  Keene can no longer provide me with the items that I, again, REQUIRE TO LIVE. They are the only supplier available in my area. Their reps reached out to our state's department of health access, and they quote "received no assistance or return communication". 

So yeah. That's it. My insurance will no longer cover my supplies, because fuck chronically ill people, am I right? I can barely afford groceries and college loans and now I'm supposed to somehow pay for medical appliances on top of all that? I hate this goddamn country. Oh, we can afford to give billion dollar tax breaks to giant corporations, but god forbid sick people have the audacity to ask for basic healthcare. It's disgraceful.

Anyway, the point of this rambling journal entry is to beg my watchers to toss me a buck on patreon if they can spare the cash. I'm serious. Even $1 per month can add up if enough people pitch in. I can't believe I have to panhandle in the digital street, but this is the world we live in now. Any help would be appreciated.





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Today on deviantArt

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 17, 2018, 9:02 PM



Whygodwhy by Acaciathorn



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  • Watching: nostalgia critic
  • Eating: pad thai
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I have a Discord!

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 19, 2018, 11:30 AM



Swing by anytime and chat! Text channels are available to anyone who joins my server :heart:
Green Tea Love by r0se-designs discord.gg/KAe87QM

Patreon supporters will have access to an RP channel and a special voice channel to shoot the shit with me while I livestream!



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  • Watching: Picarto livestream
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RIP Blue

Journal Entry: Sat Feb 17, 2018, 9:04 PM



My budgie died about a half an hour ago. I'm heartbroken. I know she was already old when I got her, but I didn't think she'd go so soon. This is the worst part of pet ownership :(





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Fun little stamp raffle!

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 6, 2018, 11:24 AM



I like to make animated stamps featuring other people's OCs!

Dahlia Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps Jacqui Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps MALEDONNA Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps Natya Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps Ball 'N Chain - Sliver Fan Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps Valentine's Stamp for Dingoat by Acaciathorn-Stamps

If you'd like one of these, comment here with some pics of your OC. I will pick a couple to make into stamps :D

EDIT: Here's Saivost's request:
Vant Dak'elsen Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps Eddia Dak'elsen Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps

Tears-of-Xion's request:
Lydia Stamp by Acaciathorn-Stamps

Mist-Miyuki's request:








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OC Facts Meme: Jastra

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 5, 2018, 1:16 PM



:iconchronorus: tagged me, and I can never resist this type of thing. ^^; I will be modifying the meme slightly to include an overall synopsis, followed by a fun facts section. :D

MEME RULES:
1. Post these instructions
2. Post 8 facts about your character
3. Tag 8 other people. Specify the characters they should write about (post their icons with their character's name next to the icon).

JASTRA SUMMARY:
Jastra grew up on equatorial Kothlis, where her mother operated an upscale tourist resort. Her family catered to (and spied on) the rich and powerful, without ever having access to wealth or influence themselves. As a member of a politically disenfranchised clan in a society obsessed with politics, Jastra developed a sense of inadequacy early in life. She left home to seek adventure and to gather allies who might help her achieve her overarching ambition: convincing the Bothan Council to accept her clan's petition for membership. Self-educated and resourceful, Jastra is a jack of all trades, functioning as the crew's slicer, mechanic, doctor, and scholar. Despite her lively sense of humor, she is prone to jealousy and capriciousness. She is loyal to a fanatical degree and is all too willing to excuse the immoral behavior of her favorite few. Jastra feels profound guilt over her failures and blames herself for the deaths of friends and allies, regardless of her actual culpability. She recognizes the threat posed by the Empire and supports her people joining the Rebel Alliance.

FUN FACTS:

:bulletblue: Jastra has had numerous aliases over the years.
Past fake IDs have sported such classy names as 'Suq Madiq', and 'Anya Ne’eze'.
:bulletblue: Jastra is a polyglot who speaks Galactic Basic, Bothese, Wrendui, Binary, Bocce, and most recently, Shyriwook.
:bulletblue: Repeated trauma has left her with a bad case of PTSD. She can perform surgeries and autopsies with ease; blood and gore don’t bother her at all. However, she’s terrified of space combat and hates explosions/aerial bombings, having barely survived her past encounters with them.
:bulletblue: She enjoys watching trashy holo-shows with her adopted brother Lars. One of their favorite series is “My 6,000 Pound Life”, a reality show about morbidly obese Hutts.
:bulletblue: She frequently smokes “Z-weed” (basically, Gungan wacky tobaccy). She experimented with a lot of drugs as a teenager - particularly glitterstim - but she ultimately settled on a much safer (and more legal) method of getting high.
:bulletblue: Jastra is just shy of 5′ 0″ tall (151 cm).
:bulletblue: Jastra is demisexual, and has only ever been attracted to Koskit. She's been in love with him since childhood.
:bulletblue: Her greatest fear is being rejected, and ending up alone. On a more practical level, she is terrified of her loved ones being killed.


Tagging:
:iconfennbothan: Sayar Kal'ir
:iconchronorin: Synthea
:iconsiartha: Rinja Lianto
:iconclone-artist: Raiona N'Oon
:icondeer-head: Luu Shendao
:icondingoat: Ahuska
:iconchuju-loves-zuko: Chu Ju
:iconblikreeve: Goswen




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Commission Info Summer 2018

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 6, 2018, 2:32 PM




NOTE: I am only offering portrait style commissions at the moment. All other types are temporarily unavailable.

Green Tea Love by r0se-designsPLEASE READ BEFORE COMMISSIONING ME! Green Tea Love by r0se-designs

:bulletgreen: Payment through Paypal or Venmo in USD! Full amount upfront. If there is a transaction fee involved, I ask that you kindly pay it.
:bulletgreen: Commissions are for personal use, not commercial use. You can upload them wherever you want, but please include a link back to my profile.
:bulletgreen: I am chronically ill and cannot guarantee that I will be available to take on projects. I have the right to refuse a commission for any reason. It doesn't mean I dislike your idea; it just means I need to put my health first.

What I Will Draw:
:bulletgreen: Humans, humanoid characters, anthros, and most Star Wars aliens. Can be original characters or fanart.
:bulletgreen: Blood, mild violence, suggestive clothing, and partial nudity.
:bulletgreen: RPG characters are my favorite! I'm a big fan of tabletop gaming :heart:

What I will NOT Draw:
:bulletgreen: Mechs, robots, ferals, animals, extreme violence, porn, fetish art, degrading or hate-related content.

Arrow left Arrow left Arrow leftCOMMISSION TYPES AND PRICESArrow right Arrow right Arrow right


Faux-Watercolor Portraits (Humanoid only)

Price: $25-$30

Natsumi by Acaciathorn  Commission: Voodoo by Acaciathorn  Witchy Woman [C] by Acaciathorn

Star Wars Alien/Anthro Portraits
Species I can do: Bothan, Trandoshan, Gungan, Gamorrean, Sullustan, Wookiee, Squib, Ewok, Mon Calamari, Shistavanen, Togorian, Cathar, Farghul, Rodian, & Falleen.
Price: $30
 
Sheba [AT] by Acaciathorn  Bothan Portraits by Acaciathorn

Faux-Watercolor Half-bodies
Price: ~$60, depending on complexity and species. Anthros cost more because rendering fur/scales/etc. is time consuming.
Hufflepuff by Acaciathorn  The Herbalist by Acaciathorn  Cathar Diplomat by Acaciathorn 



Other (Max 2 Characters)
Price: Individualized. PM me for a quote
Commission: Eddia and Vant Dak'elsen by Acaciathorn  They Should Call It Scorellia by Acaciathorn 


Arrow left Arrow left Arrow leftWHAT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR NOTEArrow right Arrow right Arrow right


:bulletgreen: Commission type
:bulletgreen: Character reference pics (there will be an additional fee if you want me to design a character for you)
:bulletgreen: Description of character's personality
:bulletgreen: Other relevant details you feel I should know


Green Tea Love by r0se-designs Thanks for reading!  Green Tea Love by r0se-designs




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My Thoughts on The Last Jedi (Spoilers)

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 15, 2017, 1:02 PM



Spoilers ahead! Do not read this review if you have not seen The Last Jedi! You have been warned!

[And please, kindly remember that I'm just another idiot on the internet with an opinion. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind with this review…I'm just sharing my reaction, because none of my friends are online right now and I need to blab to somebody.]


__________________________________________


Okay, so – analysis time. The way I see it, there are two main narratives in The Last Jedi. I loved one of them, and I hated the other. Bear with me as I spout off pretentiously for a few minutes.

Narrative #1 deals with The Force™ . Naturally, it contains the classic Star Wars themes of tragedy, forgiveness, and redemption, but it adds depth and nuance to these ideas in a couple of ways. It explores the importance of human connection, and it underscores the power that each individual possesses to determine their own self identity, and with it, their fate. The writers made the excellent decision to take the struggle between Light and Dark and externalize it – make it into an actual, literal conversation between two people: Rey and Kylo Ren, with Luke acting as the tormented mediator. Mark Hamill just knocked it out of the fucking park with his performance too – by God, I adore him.

Narrative #1 acknowledges the flaws of Jedi doctrine and provides a simple, brilliant explanation for one the biggest questions left over from The Force Awakens: why did Ben Solo turn to the Dark side? The revelation that Luke drew his lightsaber on Ben in a moment of weakness, only to recoil in horror at his own impulse, casts Kylo Ren in an entirely different light. Ben truly believed that Luke meant to kill him – and what troubled teenage boy wouldn't develop emotional issues if he thought his uncle were trying to murder him in the dead of night, especially when he was already under the influence of an evil CGI freak? (On another note, can someone explain to me why Snoke was wearing like, a gold bathrobe? What the hell kind of aesthetic is that?) Luke's culpability, however minor, heightens the tension in the conversation between Rey and Kylo Ren, because it makes him a more sympathetic villain. Suddenly, his rage and hatred make sense. Luke's shame and self-imposed exile make sense. Everything makes sense. The relationship that emerges between the three characters is believable and emotionally satisfying, even if Kylo Ren does make the decision to be a punk bitch in the end. But man, that fight scene where he and Rey are fighting as a team? Top fucking notch.

Narrative #1 works because it establishes cause-and-effect, and because it gives each character a complete arc. Past trauma motivates all three of the central figures: Kylo Ren, Luke, and Rey each have to contend with their own personal demons and choose whether to rise above them, or succumb to them. Their parallel struggles give the movie a sense of cohesion and suspense. Their decisions matter, and those decisions aren't necessarily foregone conclusions, because all three characters have the power to influence one another. Luke chooses to accept his past mistakes and to reconnect with his old comrades; in doing so, he is finally able to achieve the absolution and peace that have eluded him for so long. Rey refuses to give in to her feelings of loneliness and abandonment; instead, she uses the empathy derived from those painful experiences to try and reach out to Ben Solo. Kylo Ren rejects Rey's attempt to connect with him because he is either unwilling or unable to deal with his own trauma. He stubbornly pulls away, and ends up more miserable and broken than ever.

I simply cannot gush enough about how much I loved this whole storyline. The stakes were personal and emotional, but they also had larger ramifications. The imagery and cinematography perfectly complemented what was going on in the narrative, too. Like that scene where Rey saw herself cascaded out, row upon row upon row? Holy crap was that an insightful visual metaphor for the concept of self-identity. And can we talk about the red salt on the snow during the final showdown? How it smeared when stepped in, like blood? That shit was amazing. Luke's confrontation with his nephew was the perfect conclusion to their relationship, and the best possible send-off for Luke, if he was going to die. He went out on his own terms, as the ultimate Jedi master: cunning, heroic, and self-controlled, able to own up to his mistakes without being destroyed by them.

Now, on to the part of the film I hated. :(

Narrative #2 is The Little Guys vs. Big Evil™. The themes of this narrative are courage in the face of impossible odds, and the wisdom to know when to make sacrifices. Unfortunately, there are two major problems with this half of the plot that weaken the impact of these themes. The first problem is that there is ZERO world-building in these new movies. None. Zilch. In the original trilogy, the lack of backstory was not a problem because we were thrown directly into a reality where an oppressive autocratic regime was already in power. The audience could accept that these fuckers were genocidal and that a ragtag group of rebels was fighting them, because Episode IV was a blank slate. The conflict was straightforward enough that we could just run with it once it was introduced. But the new trilogy is NOT A BLANK SLATE. The film needed to explain how we got from the events of Return of the Jedi (where the Rebels had just won a major victory, the Empire was reduced to a shadow of its former self, and the threat of pan-galactic annihilation was no more), to “oh yeah, everything is a shitshow again”. What the hell happened during the intervening 30 years? How did the New Republic fail so catastrophically that the First Order was able become such a threat? How did the Imperial Remnant get its hands on that much firepower and manpower without like…anyone noticing, or stepping in during the nascent stages? Where the fuck did this Snoke guy come from, and why is his name so stupid? The movie fails to explain the chain of events that led to this new status quo. It doesn't even hint at it. We get no new information about the conflict at all; instead, we spend over an hour stalling while Finn and Rose do their thing.

Speaking of which... The second big issue with Narrative #2 is that it does not utilize its protagonists correctly. Poe gets some development, but Leia, Finn, and Rose Tico do not get character arcs. They do not change in any meaningful way as a result of what they go through. Leia in particular is static throughout the film. Sure, she spouts a lot of platitudes about hope, but we never get any real insight into what's going on in her head. Is she frustrated that she has to fight the exact same war she already fought in her youth? Does she feel guilty for failing to foresee and prevent the rise of the First Order? How has she been damaged by her personal losses, most notably the murder of her husband at the hands of her own son? The script just gives her nothing to work with. No pathos, no pain. She spends half of the movie in a coma, and the only time she gets to use her Force powers is when she's like...magically levitating through the vacuum of space (I call bullshit on that, by the way). Her only real moment of depth is her reunion with Luke. I think maybe the writers intended to put her character arc in the third movie, but uh...that's not gonna happen now, since Carrie Fisher drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra.

Finn, meanwhile, spends the entire movie on a wild goose chase. Sure, the casino planet was cool, but you could cut out that entire subplot and its absence would have no effect on the rest of the movie. The writing here frustrates me SO much because the character problem is SO EASY TO FIX. Here's how you make it work: from the get-go, the movie sets up an ideological conflict between Poe and Leia. Poe wants to blow shit up, while Leia favors a more cautious, big-picture approach. However, instead of following through on this conflict and forcing them to hash it out, the film fridges Leia and sets up purple-haired Laura Dern as Poe's foil. This decision baffles me. Leia is Poe's hero; he admires and respects her. Imagine how much more compelling it would've been if he had to make the gut-wrenching decision to pursue his own approach behind her back instead. Leia vs. Poe is a conflict with higher stakes. We care about both of these characters, and we can see both of their perspectives. Pitting the two against each other ideologically (but with no malicious intent), creates the opportunity for both of them to grow and change.

Here's how you fix Finn's subplot. Make his expertise on the First Order matter by allowing him to be the one who realizes how the flagship is tracking the Resistance through hyperspace. Have Finn reveal this information to Poe (it would make sense for him to approach Poe, because of all the people on board, Poe is the closest thing Finn has to a friend). The two of them decide that an infiltration job is in order. Poe calls Maz for guidance, and she recommends a slicer for the job. Because Poe is currently in conflict with Leia and the rest of the leadership, he sends Finn on a mission to retrieve the slicer in secret. Finn is thrown into a completely alien environment, and it proves to be a real learning experience for him. He sees the stark contrast between the ostentatious elite and the impoverished downtrodden, and his innate love and compassion begin to expand beyond just Rey (I still don’t understand how the First Order is responsible for the mistreatment of the children on casino planet, though. Isn’t the real oppressor like...late stage capitalism? lol).

Of course, he parks like an idiot, so he ends up getting thrown in jail before he can make contact with Maz's slicer. It's here that he meets Rose Tico for the first time. In this version, SHE is the chaotic neutral slicer with the longcoat and the air of charismatic unpredictability. Finn, desperate to escape, strikes a bargain with her. Initially, she only agrees to help him for the money, but as the film unfolds, we learn more about Rose. We discover that her sister died fighting the First Order some months or years before, leaving Rose jaded, aimless, and self-centered. Over the course of the third act, however, Rose sees something in Finn or in the Resistance that makes her reconsider her outlook. Perhaps Finn's fight with Phasma plays a role. She ultimately decides to honor her sister's legacy by taking up her mantle, and she joins the fight against the First Order. By condensing Rose Tico and the hobo-slicer dude into a single person, you create a character with a complete arc, and you create a subplot that matters. When Finn's attempt to infiltrate the enemy ship ultimately fails, it doesn't feel like a complete waste of time, because at least the Resistance gains a badass swaggering scoundrel of a slicer. A character that fucking cool should not be wasted.

A couple other quick fixes. You know the scene where purple-haired whatserface uses a hyper-speed jump to slice clean through Snoke's ship? It's one of the most visually arresting and memorable scenes in the film, but on an emotional level it's underwhelming because we literally just met the woman. Why not keep Admiral Ackbar alive a bit longer so he can be the one to make the iconic sacrifice? The audience already cares about him, so when he goes out in a blaze of glory, it packs a much greater emotional punch (plus, can we give an alien character a chance to shine for once? I'm so sick of all the humans. Not to mention that unceremoniously killing Ackbar off-screen felt like a giant middle finger to me personally). Back to Finn and Rose. For the love of God, please get rid of the awkward romance shoehorned in at the last minute. What you mean you “love” him, woman? You've known the dude for like two days! I mean, criminy. Rose Tico's character arc needs to be about coming to terms with her sister's death. Poe should be the one to save Finn by bashing his ship aside, because Poe is the one who's supposed to be learning when to sacrifice lives, and when to save them.

Anyway. As you may have guessed from this review, my feelings about this movie are super complicated. The humor was great, the visuals were atmospheric and creative, and the majority of the acting was fantastic. Every time Luke, Rey, or Kylo Ren were on screen, I was on the edge of my fucking seat. I was completely invested in their narrative and was reasonably satisfied with its conclusion. I was, however, sorely disappointed with the way the writers handled the conflict between the Resistance and the First Order. It could have been so, so much better. It deserved to be better, in a script with this much potential. And honestly, maybe the reason I was so disappointed is because that's my favorite part of Star Wars: a ragtag bunch of miscreants scraping by on the strength of their camaraderie. The jump cut from Return of the Jedi to "everything is shit again" makes me feel like the initial Rebellion accomplished nothing. Like it was all for naught. I'm sure I could go digging for the full story in the supplemental materials and fill myself in, but like...it should've been in the movie. There's no reason why you can't devote five minutes to a little explanation.

Maaaaan. I get too worked up about movies. ^^; What were your thoughts on the film?


EDIT:
My friend Aeyamar and I were just discussing the movie and talking about the world-building problems. I brought up the point that casino planet was disconnected from the rest of the narrative. Sure, we learn that there are rich war profiteers gambling at a casino...but what does that mean for the larger conflict?. Aeyamar suggested an interesting idea: that this throwaway scene was the axis on which the new struggle should've been fought in the first place. In other words, greed and croney capitalism are the new enemies, not autocracy. Here's an example of how you could make this work: Leia gives Poe some backstory on how the New Republic ushered in an era of freedom and opportunity for the galaxy. Unfortunately, powerful, elite interests (think like...space Koch brothers, lol) slowly began to corrupt the system. Turns out, war makes some people a LOT of money - so a variety of special interests began to develop and sell weapons tech to both the Imperial Remnant and militants on the Republic's payroll. With dark money funding its growth, The First Order was able to rise in secret and become an out-of-control threat. Narrative #2 then becomes a sort of tragic proxy war, created by people who don't care about anything except their own personal wealth and power. You could have Finn witness this firsthand on casino planet, reinforcing Leia's explanation and showing us first-hand how the elite oppress the powerless. This would fit in well with the current cultural zeitgeist. Everyday folks are sick and tired of being shit on by the oligarchy, so I think this theme would resonate with audiences. But it would need to be emphasized. The audience would need to understand that war profiteering was wholly responsible for the new conflict. This would have the added bonus of making the new trilogy feel like less of a re-hashing of the original films, and it would make the founders of the New Republic seem a lot less blind and incompetent. In a strange way, it would make the First Order into an unwitting pawn as well. Countless lives lost, all because assholes wanted money and power. I mean, this is shit that happens in the real world. It's not even fiction.

Green Tea Love by r0se-designs





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I miss being me

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 31, 2017, 12:56 PM



When you're chronically ill and suffering, holidays are the absolute worst. Halloween used to be my favorite day of the year. I LOVED dressing up, and going out trick-or-treating, and handing out candy to kids, and going to costume parties. Now I can't even get out of bed.

I've been crying all day. I miss being able to draw more than I can possibly describe. Even during my worst flare-ups, I always had my art to get me through. Now I have nothing. I wish I had died during my surgery last year so that I wouldn't have had to go through this all over again.



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  • Listening to: calming ocean music
  • Eating: too sick to eat

It never ends

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 22, 2017, 8:19 PM



I'm so sick. I'm terrified I'm gonna die...or worse, be stuck in this slow, painful hell forever.

I've had so many blood tests, and exams, and MRIs, and I've tried so many medicines...I just want someone to fix me. Why can't anyone help? I can't even draw anymore :'(

Years, and years, and years, and years of pain. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't sleep. I can't eat. All I do is sit here, curled up in a ball. I cry every single day. Why did this have to happen to me?



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Get a load of this asshole

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 15, 2017, 6:00 PM



Response by Acaciathorn

I'm so damn sick, and I get to deal with fuckwits on top of it. It's actually kinda hilarious



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  • Listening to: hunchback of notre dame soundtrack
  • Playing: Stellaris
  • Drinking: coffee

Puns are bad, but poetry is verse

Journal Entry: Fri Aug 25, 2017, 1:39 PM



It's been 2+ years since I posted a new poetry journal, Shakes Head by cynic which is just unacceptable. Allow me to remedy this by sharing some of my recent faves...

ALLERGY TO A TREE

For no apparent rhyme or reason
The carrier attacks in season
And keeps a constant weather eye
On all its aircraft in the sky;
Micro-raiders, built for stealth,
Who savagely assault my health.
A zillion pilots fly unseen
Evading antihistamine;
With silent guns they shoot the breeze
And bomb on target ...SNEEZE 'n SNEEZE!

Convulsions echo all day long
As in some jungle-mating song;
And all the while my trumpet blows
An everlasting river flows,
Drenching windows in my head
Till monochrome is streaked with red.
At closer range there looms a rash
Of kamikaze drones that crash -
And the poison gas in one fell stroke
Makes me gasp and wheeze and choke.

Poems are magic words revealing
Many a well-defended feeling,
But only a tree can stir and sway
And literally take my breath away.

-Irwin Flescher


THE STROKE

Standing in the Twilight Zone,
Lost in space and all alone
Blindly searching to find me
(Woman that I used to be.)
I could not find me, I was blind.
I widely searched but could not find
The me I knew was somewhere near.
I was confused but felt no fear.
Then in the darkness, in the gloom,
A hummingbird lit up the room.

-Virginia Artrip Snyder


WHEN I WAS ILL

modesty left my side
left me bare
before countless eyes
all the body's mysteries
open for inspection

my once sovereign nation
quickly surrendered
at the prospect of death
and was ruled by doctors
with vain words
on stale breath

resigned to my fate
I tried to retreat
to inner realms
but even my dreams
would humiliate

body is but baggage
for the soul I presume
but that too was examined
by a chubby chaplain
in my room.

-Lew Forester


NIGHT SPELL

Walls have ears
Wind spreads lies
Trees know secrets
Night has eyes.
Bolt the shutters
Listen...wait...
What stranger watches
At my gate?

-Arlette Lees Baker


I HOLD THE SEA
 
Lingering long in surf, on sand,
working on my lobster tan,
risking age spots, dry skin, cancer
in contemplation of an answer
to a question haunting me:
Why did we ever leave the sea

to stretch our legs and walk dry land?
Condemned forever, we are banned
from frolicking as water-dancers,
existing now as geomancers;
we should have planned more carefully
in climbing evolution's tree.

As tears trace streams in brackish strands,
I realize I understand:
The roaring surf is heart entrancing;
its briny warmth is blood romancing.
I'm swept by an epiphany -
I hold the sea inside of me.

-Craig W. Steele


HUMMINGBIRD BATTLE

Three hummingbirds refuse to share,
though on the feeder hanging there
four equal plastic perches flaunt
the sweet these three so keenly want.

With rapier beaks and threatening thrums,
en garde in case another comes,
they thrust and feint with vicious skill
to have it all, or no bird will.
 
For hours, the airborne battle spins
in warfare no one ever wins,
and meanwhile sips the humble bee
the bounty given all for free.

-Barbara Loots


AUTUMN SONG

When autumn bites the brittle air,
We raid the cedar chest
For patchwork quilts and fluffy downs
To line our winter nest.

We gather chestnuts in the woods
To roast before the snows
And ball our scarlet yarn for socks
To toast our winter toes.

We bunch our beds beneath the beams
And cut a length of log
And share the cracking woodbox warmth
With cat and mouse and dog.

We save a sad, sweet memory
For summers burning bright
Then cuddle up with cocoa cups
To greet the frosty night.

-Arlette Lees Baker


WAY AWAY
 
Way away the dream seems distant
Calling out to those who hear.
Someone starts, and in an instant
Everything is clean and clear.

"Here it is!" The hearer hastens,
Not to wait another day,
Live the dream, the Spirit chastens.
Put to bed the way away.

-Walter Stormont


Feel free to share some of your favorites! :la:





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  • Listening to: The Humming by Enya
  • Playing: sims 4
  • Drinking: orange soda

Ongoing Health Issues

Journal Entry: Mon Jul 31, 2017, 3:28 PM



I'm so depressed and frustrated. After FIVE years of battling ulcerative colitis, I thought getting surgery to remove my large intestine would give me my life back. I thought I'd recover enough to get a job or move in with some friends.

Instead, not even a year later, my immune system is going completely haywire, yet again. I'm so sick, and so profoundly dispirited. I made an appointment to see a specialist back in April, but they didn't have an opening until fucking SEPTEMBER. So I just get to sit here all summer, going out of my mind with pain and worry, knowing that even once I get in to see this person, that's only the beginning. I've been through this shit before. First come a battery of tests, then weeks and weeks of waiting, then baffled head-scratching by the doctors, then more waiting, then another round of tests, followed by even more waiting... I have wasted my entire 20s on this bullshit. I am SO tired. Just...so tired.

I feel like my life ended before it ever really began. I graduated from college, got ready to strike out my own, and bam. Everything fell apart. I've missed so many milestones, been cheated out of so many experiences. I've spent my time in hospitals or holed up in my room, just trying to stay alive. And the worst part is, I don't think it's ever going to get any better. Even if they figure out what's wrong with me now, there are so few treatment options for this kind of thing. I feel like there's nothing anyone can do to help me. I feel like it's only going to get worse, and I'm going to suffer a slow and painful decline over the next ten years or so, until this finally kills me.

I wish I could be someone else. I wish I could get out of this body. I just want my life back.



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  • Watching: Yuri on Ice
  • Drinking: green tea