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EDIT: Aaaaand FUNDED!  We did it, we reached the first stretch goal! 8D

In the chance there are artists following me who would like some super group stock images, last chance to get into the Kickstarter by some well-known (and my personal favs) among stock artists here on devART!…

Creators involved - and maybe some of you already follow them:
SenshiStock :iconsenshistock:
jademacalla :iconjademacalla:
PirateLotus-Stock :iconpiratelotus-stock:
Null-Entity  :iconnull-entity:

They all do super stock work on their own.. so... together?  It'll be awesome.

I won't lie, I REALLY want to see that underwater shoot, as slim as the odds are of reaching that stretch goal.. ^^; 

Take a look and please signal boost if you can't back it! :D


Mood:   Woohooooo! 
Watching: Inside Out
Mood: :peace:
Watching: Lord of the Rings (Extended): Fellowship OTR

Lots has happened since my last journal! Obviously my scanner has been replaced.. but more importantly, I have a new tablet. I love it.  (Anyone looking for a less expensive alternative to a Wacom should check out UGEE - aside from not being able to customize pen buttons as well, I love it. :heart: :heart:

I'm back to working on art, and it occurred to me:   I COULD stream, if there was any interest in watching it?

And if you're not interested in art alone, and if I don't get myself banned for doing so, I was hoping to stream a movie alongside, since I often watch movies whilst doing artwork. For the reason of not being banned for copyright shiz, I probably wouldn't save the streams either.
I wouldn't be able to pick solid dates - being a casual employee, my shifts and start times are all over the place. So it may be morning, may be night, may be the dead of night, all of those any day a week. I guess that'd offer chances for those who might not normally catch me to see a stream? Maybe??

I haven't streamed since Livestream Procaster so I'd need to figure out what's best, but I've also got dual monitor set-up now. If anyone has suggestions, please PLEASE throw them at me - it's got to be able to dual-stream two monitors, but other than that, I'm going in blind.  I will most likely stream Dark's Watch pages, starting with the third page that I'm working on now, but that could change if I have other stuff to do.

Anyway. Not much else to add. Hopefully there'll be another DW page sometime this month!
Mood:  :brainfog: - NaNoEmo by a-kid-at-heart
So-ooo. A quick note.. my scanner is busted. Or it sure seems that way.
Figures, I move my stuff two provinces and after the trouble of taking this beastly printer/scanner combo with me - especially since part of my moving fees were charged by WEIGHT - ... it no longer works.  It's kind-of a shame, I actually have a lot of Inktobers to share.  If you peruse my Twitter feed, I missed a day or three in October, but more than half of them I took snapshots of and can be found (in gloriously poor lighting) there.

Kind-of an update on things. I really need to get back to creative stuff.. l've been adjusting well to work, but I come home exhausted. Also in the middle of assembling furniture I really need.
Soon... because I've been missing my brain-babies. :heart:

I have been volunteering at a parrot sanctuary. Now even when I'm exhausted from work, if I go there.. I find I'm so happy to be around the birds. My crazy bird-lady side is so at-peace while there.  I sorta want to post pictures but don't know if they'd clog up my scraps too much or if anybody cares.
Mood:  Aherpderpherp.  :herp: by stuck-in-suburbia


As I mentioned before, I will open a commission slot for those who may be interested!  I expect no interest, not in these troubled times, but I figure 'why not'? I am really trying to improve my discipline on art, and a little income would be nice since I'm between-jobs.
So the deal is this:

:bulletblack:   I will take one commission at a time.
In the unlikely event there's more than one request (ahahahaha oh god why would there be) I will make a wait list.  This isn't because I expect to take forever but to ensure the least stress on myself and clients.

:bulletblack:   Prices are subjective and in CAD. :flagcanada:
I will provide estimates on styles.   See conversion rates so you know what you're paying if it is not in Canadian dollars.  (Examples will come shortly!)

:bulletblack:  Extra characters may mean increased prices.
This will be subjective as well and factored into the picture as a whole (such as whether it's full-body, colour, etc etc).

:bulletblack: I reserve the right to turn down a commission if it contains material I'm not comfortable drawing.
 I'm not established in what I won't draw, as I'm willing to listen to ideas. If I am not comfortable or for any reason don't want to take the commission, I will let you know.  Anything that I take which does not suit deviantART standards will not be posted here, obviously.

:bulletblack:  Commissions are not for commercial use without my written consent.
Personal use is fine, and credit would be highly-appreciated but unnecessary as long as any signature and subtle watermark is not tampered with.

A draft will be provided, but payment must be received in full before the image will be sent to the client.



***  as stated above, image prices are ESTIMATES only; detail and size (full-body, waist-up, bust) will factor in. ***

Avialae - BAD TOUCH by Absolute-Sero

Black-and-white lineart -  $30 -- $50+

Mature Content

No Mercy, No Forgiveness by Absolute-Sero
Immortal of Ice by Absolute-Sero

Coloured lineart (no background) -  $50 -- $100+

You Can't Run by Absolute-Sero

Painting-style (with background)  - $175+ and upwards

Dark's Watch - PROL-1 by Absolute-Sero

Comic pages  -  min $100+;
highly-dependent on size, number of panels and details


I may update this later if prices and/or rules change at all. But cheers for now!
Mood:  :saddummy: mostly trying not to be sad/avoiding thinking sad thoughts.

I guess it's been a while since I did a really personal journal - I've been somewhat just using submissions and mentioning pieces of things.
Plus, Twitter. Tweet tweet, y'all.  Hope you aren't sneezing from the layer of dust on this feature.

If personal stuff ain't your thing, move right along. I'm considering opening commissions for a limited time, so ho-ooopefully this gets bumped down soon enough after for those who aren't interested.

In the last year I have felt incredibly stretched. Mostly emotionally. It's been in two parts.

One part has been something I think I mentioned previously but never elaborated on?
*insert brief pause while I look back at the journal from.. ugh..  March NO WAIT NOPE February*
Yeah. February.
 That was about when I realized I think I want to change careers. Don't get me wrong; this shouldn't surprise my friends but I do like my job. For any newer followers: I'm a medical lab technologist. In short summary, we analyze body fluids and do chemical tests that other doctors, nurses, and medical staff would use to treat your health.
What really struck me was this intense yearning to improve my artwork, to do something and make a living off of it. I don't just want to get better, I actually realized I have more interest in art as a career than I did several years ago. I flagrantly failed in opening requests, but while the urge to create has surged multiple times, it's never been completely sunk. This has hit me because for a while it never bothered me to not be creating. I want to do it now.
Don't get me wrong, I have some serious attention issues and I lack discipline I KNOW I'm capable of. (I wouldn't have done 200+ pages of scripting in 11 months WITH full-time tech school if I didn't have it.) But the urge to do something with myself art-wise has never been so insistent.   

Basically this combined with a 'straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back' moment, I knew I had to leave this area and go somewhere I could improve. I don't mind the prairies, with one exception. see the comic 'phobia'  So I've made plans to move and work nearer to my hometown, in an area I know will have every kind of option for artistic endeavors vs my present place.
The "stretch" of this comes with leaving my somewhat stable residence and workplace. Without going into nitty gritty about it, I chose to leave even knowing that my workplace will be shorter-staffed than it already was without me. I chose to take care of myself, because I knew I'd be miserable otherwise. But guilt pulled at me - and still tugs at me - a lot. Even knowing that my job is seriously lacking in new graduates everywhere, not just here, I felt badly.  
The guilt combined with the forthcoming change has made me woozy at times. It's come with a lot of breath-holding, apprehension, and anxiety-ridden weeks. I refuse to backpedal; I know that this is just a character trait of mine, and a big change like this to my life is to be expected. I had similar sentiments before I moved two provinces from my hometown to live and work, and even earlier when I started tech school.

Still.. it pulls me two ways.

Then there's the other part of it all.
I've hesitated in being frank and making an actual journal about this. I've got so many mixed feelings. Trying to sift through and explain it all always just makes me want to sigh and lie down in defeat, feeling like I could never articulate it properly.  It involves someone who's been a friend for a long time..
This is less about that friend and more about my feelings and who I feel I am.

For far too long, I was overly dependent. I know that, I even hate it. I can't pretend it never existed since it is literally my past, and barring serious trauma or memory loss, I can't run from it. I'll always remember the ugliness. I was called out on my behavior, and this improved in my late teens.   But I only realized just how much of my life was affected by this trait recently.
And it's not just that. For the longest time, there was a serious imbalance in how much blame I put on myself when things would go wrong there.  It's not that I was totally stupid.. but sometimes when I should have been thinking 'I didn't do anything wrong - or didn't mean to' I was instead wondering 'what can I do to fix this'. I always wanted to help, and somehow..
Somehow I felt like it was worth it, preserving things, mending them. I only realized it was at my own expense later. I sigh realizing how long it took. I hurt at least one person because I was so preoccupied, and I suspect there are others who never called me out as that person (very rightly!) did.  I wish I'd smartened up then, for that friend of mine.. I  never stop lamenting how much better a person I could have been to her.

I felt like I needed to keep fixing, to keep mending the holes, because I had to be around. I never wanted to lose touch with someone who made a difference in me being around and who I am today.
I don't think this is inherently wrong, and I still am very attached to people when I truly let them into my bubble. I think it comes with having difficulty connecting to people;  just like the hardship of learning to trust and care, letting go or even backing down is incredibly hard.  Ignorance just is not bliss for me. Not knowing eats away at me.
Even the idea of not knowing pushed me on for a long time.

I can't really be sure, as my thought patterns were often muddy when I was upset and emotional. But I am guessing that when the pressure of taking on - what I felt like was - all the work by myself reached too high, it started leaking out. Only it never came out pointing to the source. Somehow I found other reasons that I was bothered. Once again, I should have known better, as it became cyclic.

Things improved somewhat as I got older and especially as I got into tech school after having my heart broken by someone I loved. It was a light in the end of the tunnel, and as much as tech school was like being dragged through a field full of barbed wire and broken glass, I learned to push myself. I found out I'd rather hit the ground running and fail than not try - but I succeeded.  I started thinking more for myself, branching out.
This was a gradual process. Not just school, but what followed after it. Moving myself away from the support of long-time friends and relatives certainly forced me to stay on my feet.  First time in my very own apartment vs. sharing one with roommates or living in student housing on-campus.  
That's a bit of a ramble, but I feel like the pieces still come back to the point I am trying to make. I started becoming more independent, and especially through my job, I started having more self-confidence. I began thinking..  I am worth something. I'm not completely awful and I mean to be sincere. I am worth something.

It's still been a process. I have suffered intermittent depression, suicidal idealization, and problems with alcohol use I'm honestly VERY lucky it didn't become a full-addiction.  Over that time, the friendship I mentioned at the beginning had hurdles that had nothing to do with me. Things were already rocky.
But after who-knows-how-long, I had the realization that no matter how much I am willing to give to try and help, to keep someone in my life.. I had to draw a line. For my emotional, mental, and physical health, I had to reel myself back, even though it caused anguish to do so.
It's not much of an exaggeration, if any, to say I grieved. I still do.  It's weird, to me, at the same time. I know I'm grieving something and someone who never really went anywhere.  And there's a strange feeling to be mourning something you stepped back from voluntarily.

The stretch comes back to me being pulled between wanting to keep someone I still care for in my life.. and needing to be able to take care of myself by keeping distance. It's on-going, and it hurts like hell.  The only thing I really do to help it is distract myself and hope that time continues to soften the aches.

Even though I've come closer with this rambling than I have before, I don't know if I touched everything. Maybe I never will without the dialogue happening with people it needs to happen with.    But it's been a little lifting to just muse here. It's very hard to feel that it would incite any response from the friend it all occurred with. (Yes, you are and will remain a friend. That hasn't changed.)

At one time I found a quote that I wish I could find again to reference.  I don't have that quote any more, but the point somewhat resonated with me enough to try and make my own rambling quote.
Those of us reading this are all living on this earth, and we are all eventually going to die. Without being corny about it, life is finite. You can make excuses, but ultimately if you keep putting off seeing somebody, you may find that one or both of you has run out of weeks. Things happen.  Putting things off 'til a better time' may not happen. And the reality is - I feel - you may have to actually press pause and make a little time now and then.  Even if it's only a few minutes, and regardless of whether conversation (be it in-person, by phone, text, email, chat, etc) it says 'you have a place in my life and are worth a moment of it'.

In-turn, the inability to ever feel like there's space.. says a lot. I've yet to find a good way to describe it. But it's something I've felt is a very strong instance of where actions are much stronger than words.  While I trust those I call friends a great deal, this got to be so loud and clear that it overpowered what I was being told.  To hear the message 'you aren't worth that much to me' through actions became noxious.
None of this is meant to point at the friend indicated. This journal is just for me, and perhaps if ever read by that person so they understand what I cannot say to their face.  And to say this:  I have chosen to step aside.  I feel that increasingly until the relative present, I gave and kept on giving, and this has created a hurtful imbalance that needs to equalize. (How it equalizes I guess only time will tell, as there's too much gray in that area to tell.) I know there is your side too; goodness knows I wish I knew it better. I care, but I lost my strength to be the strong one and speak out, because I can't be the one taking that first step this time.
I'm exhausted, sad, frustrated, and slowly being pulled apart by my mixed desire to keep trying and my desire to protect myself.

That was a long journal for 'this is what's going on in my life'. But, well. Now you know I guess?  I guess I feel a bit better for writing things out. I haven't done a huge amount of what I feel is 'good' writing in a while.. I've been focused on comics mostly. :blush:

Things aren't over. I only have 2.5 days left of work at my present job, I move at the end of next month - and I begin my new job only days after my move. Most of the arrangements have been made with a couple exceptions.  For now I'm staying in my current job, to see if current frustrations that are specific to my workplace improve and if I am more driven to stay a tech. But the possibility is in the mix that things will continue to change, that I may indeed go into the arts as a full-time student. (Leaning towards illustration right now..)

 It's exciting and it's terrifying, another tug in different directions.  I'm just trying to keep my head above water with it all.
.. so, if you missed the comic proclaiming my love for it, I'll say it again: the trilogy (of which the first book shares the same name) is fantastic! :heart: :love: :tighthug: :heart:
(Comic in question, btw.. )
Comic - SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN.. by Absolute-Sero

Having just finished the last book (and it took a lot of willpower not to read all three books as fast as humanly possible).. once more, an intense, emotional and complex plot and characters. For anyone who likes gripping stories, this fits the bill. It also well-covers a slow-building relationship between two very different characters with no reason to like one another.  Definitely not for younger readers due to explicit content (violence/language/sexual content all around).. but worth the read. I know it's something I'll be compelled to re-read every so often. Those who are for some reason put-off by same-sex couples (of which there are plenty in the story, as there are reasons in the story's cultures which make it quite understandable) may not be into it, but those who are or don't mind it may enjoy it.

As a side thought, as to why am I giving this book so much love?  I knew this story when the author (C. S. Pacat) was posting it for free on Livejournal, for all to read. She was approached by a publisher and now has her books in beautiful paperback, hardcover, and E-reader form, though the trade-off was that the online stuff had to be taken down. (Though I recall she lamented having to do this.)
I guess it's my tribute to that word-of-mouth and talented writing is what got her the readers and, eventually, the attention of a publisher. It gives hope for those who want to put their creative work out there, like myself, wanting to get it seen - and, just maybe, get it some spotlight.

I may need to do some fanart to pay proper tribute to the story, but for now, this is all I can do. ♥

Btw, Mikkhos - I have no idea if this would fall in your current interest of books, but it reminds me of your characters.. or perhaps you already know the series. If not, I thought I'd say so, I had one of your brain-children and writing style in mind a few times through the course of reading. 8D
  • Listening to: Three Days Grace
  • Reading: Nothing! All my new books are done D:
It's just about that time again and I'm headed off to work shortly. The hospitals don't shut down over Christmas - or even slow down. Last couple of years here.. it's done the opposite, actually.
Maybe I'll have some 'tales from the lab' to share, as I work for the next week.

I am going to be thankful for what I have, which is my bare necessities, my cats, and enough stability to be able to live around the holidays. What I observe over the last few years shows it really isn't a happy holiday for some.. it actually gets dark sometimes around christmas, really. Not that it's reason to be gloomy, but enough incentive to treat the days around the holidays with some respect.

That aside, merry christmas!  Or happy holidays! :heart: :holly:
Y'know, whatever saying floats your boat ;)
Sooooo I got a notice that some in-game cash I bought a long time ago is expiring.. I decided 'why not play the game and use it up at least? it's been AGES'.
This was a mistake. I think I knew it would be but I did it anyway. :roll:

Anyone who might play Mabinogi... I play on the Mari server. Look up 'Raissa' or 'Sykiah' (there's a small chance I run around as one of my pets but only for short periods).  I am by no means a skilled player but parties can be beneficial to not dying.
What is Mabi?   --- Well, it's a game where you can pretty much do anything with yourself. Blacksmith, chef, puppeteer, song-writer (SERIOUSLY. I have walked through towns and heard various scores from all sorts of games.. I think I heard the Super Mario theme once..) lance fighter, martial artist, wizard, archer, etc etc etc x infinity. And you 'rebirth' sometimes to keep the levels coming but keep all the skills you had before, so you can try out everything.  But plenty is dungeon-raiding and spatting with the local wildlife, which I can't help but do a lot of. Plus all sorts of trades, quests, etc. In all its atmosphere is friendlier than other MMO's I play so there's that too.

AHEM. Moving on, my work has been and will continue to be sporadic throughout December, so I don't know how much art's gonna get itself done now that I have a terrible new distraction to take up time with. Sure as hell going to try though!
For anyone who might be interested, there's a sale on Manga Studio if you buy the digital copy from the website.. just 15$ vs almost $50.…

Aside, I don't have this version, I have Manga Studio EX 5 - or rather Clip Studio Paint EX, the equivalent in digital copies - but this program has proven pretty slick in the two versions I've gone through (I previously had MS4).  I got MS originally on a Black Friday or Cyber Monday sale at a massive discount, so I guess I hope it will prove useful for others as well. I find it pretty nice for comic-making, and they have tutorials readily-available that are easy to digest.

Figured if you're curious, go for the deal or stalk the site for other bargains since Black Friday and Cyber Monday are coming up - the company has active social media feeds if those are what you prefer to follow. :)

Aside - my American buddies, please don't get run over or injured in any way during Black Friday madness, wherever you may be. :dead: 
I only say American because that's the only country I know of to be fanatical about the sales but if you have stories from your own country then you be just as careful! 8C ♥
Amazing how consistent I used to be with my journals.. and now? Almost 2 months between them. Wtf?
I guess it's about time for some sort of update, eh?
(For those who don't give a rat's ass about ramblings, skip to the 'Meanwhile!' line :XD: )

The last few months I've really been struggling with some intrapersonal issues. Nothing serious.. but it has stunted my art.  Being a veteran at dealing with depression and all its nasty comrades, it hasn't slowed me down all too much, as evidenced by chugging along on projects that have a storyline or characters of some kind to focus on. (Dark's Watch and the ea-lec have been good outlets.) But in others ways it has slowed or stopped progress on some of my personal artwork.. the things that I do for myself 'just because'. Speedpaints, quick short stories, comics.. I get it in my head to do one of these. Then my thoughts usually trail at some point where I don't want them to go. It turns into the subject I want desperately to address even if that wasn't the original idea.  But then the images, writings, whatever it is cannot be extracted from my head.   Having failed to relieve myself by expressing what's troubling me, it haunts at the edges of my mind. I liken it to a ghost that follows me around, picking at me when I am vulnerable.
I run from it, it follows.  I try to lock it away, it just breaks free with a vengeance.
Arguing with myself about it is a bad joke with no end.
And when I ignore it, it continues to chip away at my conscience, causing stress and frustration.
All that seems possible to do is wait for time to do its thing and eat away at this demon of mine, but it sure seems determined so far to renew itself. I've cried, talked to others, talked to a psychologist, written my feelings, cuddled my cat, even drank in excess because it became easier and somehow more effective than other methods to cope. (Yes, unwise, I'm aware -- and thankfully this was a problem quickly noticed and nipped in the butt.)

In a way, writing this publicly for myself and others to see is a last ditch effort to do something other than wait for the emotions responsible to piss off on their own. Actually this might be the closest I've come so far to giving some shape to my issues, give it some sort of form I can target and take on.  In my mind, no one's life is likely to be as simple and care-free as it may seem to be on the outside, and my own is no exception, and that in mind gave me courage to share that much.  
I rather hope that time will erode this issue so it's less invasive.. but in the meantime I thank those who've listened to me whine or read this through. It does wonders.


Dark's Watch, the pet project I slowly have been chipping away at.. I only have about 4 chapters left to review and edit in Part 2. Then another read-through in attempt to find loopholes, possibly with space for beta-readers.
But.. in all - it may be happening. An artist I look up mentioned along the lines of having to create hundreds of crappy comics before starting to make good comics. I hope she is right, because I'm a little antsy in waiting too long to start this baby of mine. Yet even if I fear having to redraw the comic, I'm pretty happy with how my script has come together, and story edits at least should be minimal if redraws to need to happen.
Yes, I will need to work out some things first - namely secondary character designs and how to use Google Sketchup. (I have tutorials, but links are welcome if there are simpler breakdowns of the program!)   For those reading, though.. it's something I do want to get to work on. Even if updates are slow until I find a rhythm, I want to bring this story to life for everyone to read. It may not to be to everyone's taste, and I may touch on subjects people don't like.. but the story has always been one I'm eager to share anyway.

And I still have my little foster cat. I've had him for almost a year.
All - in my opinion - because he's not perfect-looking, because he has a wonky eye that needs a wipe every now and then. Yet he's the nicest cat you could ever want, playful, and a superb bug-hunter.  Just because a cat might miss a leg, an ear, have a funny eye, no tail, or all of those.. it doesn't mean the cat's broken.  
..If only it were easier to convince potential families of that much. :(

All right, that's enough for one journal - place your bets now on when the next one will pop up!
:gigglesnort: by LRJProductions
Sarah's Scribbles

Me to a T.
At least I'm less hostile towards my older written works. :XD:
I am going to Las Vegas in a couple of weeks for a festival .. EDC, to be precise!

But I have a couple days before and after, part of which I need to use to adjust my sleep schedule since this is a nighttime event. It also creates some spare time I can go around Las Vegas.

I didn't think I'd ever have a reason to go to Las Vegas, since I'm not a casino girl and didn't think much of the party scene. But since I'm going, I need suggestions! 

Sights you want to see?  Something you think I might enjoy?
Please send them my way, I have not a clue :dummy:  Well, sorta. I wouldn't have minded seeing a bit of the Nevada desert but I don't know how/where that would fit in since I don't drive and spend the heart of my time in the city.  I'm trying to do research and I am going with a friend, but I do want to see if there's something that piques my interest~ :heart:
Comment with idears, I needz them!

The friend I am going with has already told me it's impossible to drink ALL THE ALCOHOL not that that wasn't an idea on the table 'cuz I heard goooood things about drinks at the hotel I'm staying at *cough*
Soooo originally I just meant to go through and store some pictures, to tidy my gallery a wee bit... ended up doing much more than that.   A handful of images have been deleted most of them I believe were ones that didn't have any attention anyway XD, and a bunch scrapped, and lots stored away.  I've been overdue for a long time to do a bit of spring/summer cleaning of my gallery, I got a bit of a push to change stuff around as of late.
As usual, I leave some older works just so that I can (painfully) look back and see how far I've come. >_>; I just can't bring myself to hide everything, it's how I got this far, art-wise.

Just a little update largely for watchers who might have wanted some of the pictures I deleted/stored.  Odds are, I still have that picture somewhere on my computer (thank gawd for having a gaming computer --- lots of space) but you'll need to note me if you want me to send it to you.
Okee doke?~
Sooo long time no journal. I should probably work on that. ^^;

ANYWAY, the point of this journal was to point you in the direction of a Kickstarter project I've backed!

CASSIUS: Issue #1

It's been described by the creators as a story with ass-kicking Roman lesbians, but as you'll read in the description, it's much more.  Set in a Roman-esque era and inspired by Julius Caesar, it centers around the legend of Cassius, one person who bears a cursed mark that will bring about great change. Such change will either be for the state's benefit or lead to its complete destruction.
I'm fond of strong female characters and have followed their other comic Grave Impressions so I'm just as curious as to how this story will play out.

That said, they are close to printing the second issue with their backers!  VERY close! Less than 100$ away!

And they've been working real hard, so thought I'd share this with those who do watch my journals.
If it sparks your interest, go support it - hopefully we can see two issues from this one campaign. :D
Yep. It may not be the cure-all for everything, but it can help evade catching the nasty bugs going around this year.

Speaking of sickness, I have been fighting off a virus for over a month. A month of illness is unheard of for me - I wonder if my immune system just went 'screw it' this year and didn't even try to fight what's going around knowing it'd lose? 8D
Between being sick, work, and a brief visit to my family (which ended poorly because I was sick as a dog by the day I flew home) I do not know where December really went. I've done very little, especially art-wise. Trying to sit at a computer for long and then focus on the screen while I'm drawing on my tablet.. it just didn't happen much. I had periods where I thought I was recovering and able to focus, but they've been short-lived and followed by another health plummet. More time's been spent sleeping or doing more brainless activities, which has felt extremely weird and frustrating.  Not that I'm bed-ridden or severely sick.. just chronically so, but that's kind-of a problem in itself.
Even just trying to write this journal, I'm having to re-read everything because stringing a coherent sentence together is three times harder than usual. ..Ummmm.. lol??

Anywho.. I wanted to say
thank you to those who watch me and have left kind comments!  :heart: 
AND thanks for the birthday wishes - it was a nice thing since I was actually home sick that day (the only day I ended up being too sick to come into work to boot; it was bad) ♥♥♥
I know my watchers are the only ones who may see this journal, but I do read my comments and I appreciate them immensely along with favs. Despite my hardcore fail in answering mostly anything of late, I am grateful.  There are questions/replies too that I didn't answer (and due to the time length since they were posted, I may or may not) but they are appreciated all the same.  Even when I'm not stressed/busy/sick I find answering comments has become challenging for some reason, so I put it off unreasonably without even realizing I'm doing it.. until I see it's from two months ago. Then the awkwardness of answering skyrockets, yet I hate not answering comments.
I will eventually.. eventually being the key word.. attempt to catch up, 'cuz excuses aren't worth beans.

I need to feel better first, though.  I am sick of being sick. :dead:
(I have already gone to a doctor for those who were thinking it. XD Multiple times, I'm still a work-in-progress but steps are being taken.)

From personal experience, I say this is a year to take VERY good care of yourself and avoid catching the illnesses going around. If you've never worn a mask just to protect yourself from coughing individuals judge me all you like I am thinking of the little children here who can't cover their mouths might be a good year.
Until next journal, ciao!
Sooo.. I am REALLY behind on messages. I mean to do them all at once but I haven't yet, and they're piling up. A lot has been going on but I won't make an excuse, I just forget. ^^;

But, to those watchers who may be waiting, know that I've read your comments and getting feedback makes my day. I'll get to them, late or not. :heart:
I have a wedding to attend very soon but I hope that afterwards I can re-focus on DA. I am typing this on my phone so pretend you don't see those typos I'm sure are there ;P
Yeaaaah. So.. a couple years ago I found I'd been locked out of my main Nexon account due to inactivity, and because I couldn't access the e-mail it was attatched to they couldn't verify it was me trying to access the account. Waited about 6 months with only one questioning response to my customer support ticket so I gave up.

I don't remember why I checked the other day, but turns out... the e-mail was changed so I can re-verify it's my account.

Aaaand I started playing Maplestory again. :rofl:  My main's a bishop (the healing/holy class), and apparently the newer upgrade means I am able to actually dish out some damage now. Anyone wanting to pick up Maple again - or start for the first time- and needs a healing buddy/quest-partner for later levels on the Khaini server, look up "Sikiah". I'll be around.
I offer this 'cuz to those unfamiliar with Maplestory, clerics have a skill that boosts experience and such that works in a party of two or more. 8)  Some of my skills get boosted when I party as well.

If I can manage work, video games and art.. I WILL manage to multitask and get some done regardless of starting Maple again. 8T -power aura-

I'd thought I would need to make more of a journal entry, to say something about why I'm posting this.. but now that I'm here, I don't see much need to add more. It can stand on its own.  Lots that I could say, but would like to not, at least not at this juncture.
Meant and done for someone I care about, whether it is read anytime soon or not. ♥
  • Listening to: Die (RWBY OST, short cut)
I had a personal journal to put.. or.. I had intended to before I had an exhausting shift at work. When there are only 2 people working the entire lab for all parts of the hospital, including most blood collection (phlebotomy) after 4:30 PM... it's rough.

 Add a crashing patient in the OR needing several units of blood, a serious accident needing more blood, septic shock, children waiting to be seen, a few more units of blood to other people (we were running a bit lower than usual)...
Yeah. I spent an extra 90 minutes just helping my co-worker keep up.

Tomorrow. If I am somewhat recovered at least. I rarely post super-personal work but it feels relevant enough that I need to get to it before I convince myself not to. xB
DA's submission process is essentially broken for prose right now so here's the last chapter of Madness Laughs, because I'm too impatient to wait for that to be fixed ;P

Link to the Google Drive document (mild mature content tag for violence, language):…

I had already written the document in very small font, which is painful to look at now but I didn't really want to change that after I'd got it looking the way I wanted. I just read/edited/did everything at 120%. Yep.

I'll throw up the chapter on DA when the submission process isn't broken. I see lots of people having trouble so I'm not going to bombard the help desk with another complain. Just sit back and wait, I shall.

Also as an aside, because it's a journal, I am in the part of the prairies that flooded. It sucked and still sucks. 8(  I am on the 3rd floor and didn't have any leaks, but my apartment complex lost hot water for 2 days. When you're working and sweaty/gross and just want to shower after it's all done, that little luxury of running hot water becomes something you want to cry over not having.
Hot water seems to be working (seems to be!) but most of my colleagues suffered some sort of damage to their houses, usually with flooded basements that aren't covered by insurance. Mother nature no likey the prairie-folk right now, for sure.