Ballister as hercules, snapshots

Narrator: long ago in the faraway land of ancient greece, there was golden age of powerful gods and extordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty ballister. But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is-

Frankie: Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some greek tragedy.

Lagoona: Lighten up, dude.

Clawdeen: We'll take it from here, darling.

Narrator: you go girl

Clawdeen: We are the Muses. Goddeses of the arts and proclaimers of the heroes.

Lagoona: Heroes like Ballister!

Frankie: Honey, you mean "hunk-llister". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him-

Clawdeen: Our story actually begins long before ballister, many eons ago..

Back when the world was new
The planet Earth was down on its luck
And everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok

Frankie: It was a nasty place!
There was a mess wherever you stepped

Clawdeen: Where chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept

Frankie: Woo! Say it, girlfriend!

Muses: And then along came Tarik

Clawdeen: He hurled his thunderbolt

Muses: He zapped

Frankie: Locked those suckers in a vault

Muses: They're trapped
And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks
And that's the gospel truth
The guy was too type A to just relax

Lagoona: And that's the world's first dish

Frankie: Yeah, baby

Cleo: Tarik tamed the globe while still in his youth

Muses: Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth
On Mount Olympus, life was neat
And smooth as sweet vermouth
Although, honey, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth

Clawdeen: If there's one goddess you don't want to get steamed up, it's the director

Lagoona: 'Cause she had an evil plan.

Frankie: She ran the underworld
But thought the dead were dull and uncouth
She was as mean as he was ruthless
And that's the gospel truth
She had a plan to shake things up
And that's the gospel truth

The director: Priranha

Priranha: Coming, your most lugubriousness

The director: shark

Shark: Oh, I'm sorry, i can handle it

Priranha: priranha ow

Shark: and Shark

Both: reporting for duty

The Director: Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive.

Shark: Oh! They're here!

The director: WHAT?! The Fates are here, and YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!

Priranha and the shark: We are worms! Worthless worms!

The director: Memo to me, memo to me: Maim you after my meeting.

Mai: Darling, hold that mortal's thread of life good and tight.

Azula: Incoming!

The director: Ladies! Hah! I am so sorry that I'm—

Fates: Late.

Ty lee: We knew you would be.

Azula: We know everything

Ty lee: Past

Azula: Present

Mai: And future. Indoor plumbing; it's gonna be big.

The Director: Great. Great. Anyway, see, Ladies, I was at this party, and I lost track of—

Fates: We know!

The Director: Yeah. I know.. you know. So, here's the deal. Tarik, Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off of my cloud". Now, he has—

Fates: A bouncing baby brat.

Azula: We know

The Director: I know! You know. I know. I got it. I got the concept. So, let me just ask: Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what? What do you think?

Azula: um-

Ty Lee: Oh no, you don't. We are not supposed to reveal the future.

The Director: Oh wait, I'm sorry. Time out. Can I? Can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you, did you cut your hair of something? You look fabulous. I mean, you look like a fate worse then death.

Shark: oh gross

Priranha: Yeah! It's blinkin'!

The Director: Ladies, please, my fate... is in your lovely hands.

Azula: oh yeah

Ty Lee: all right

Azula: In 21 years precisely, the planets will align ever so nicely.

The Director: ay verse oy

Ty Lee: The time to act will be at hand. Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band.

The Director: Mm-hmm, good, good.

Azula: Then, the once-proud Tarik will finally fall, and you, Director, will rule all!

The Director: Yes! Director rules!!!

Mai: A word of caution to this tale.

The Director: Excuse me?

Mai: Should Ballister fight, you will fail.

Cleo: Young Bal was mortal now
But since he did not drink the last drop
He still retained his godlike strength
So thank his lucky star

Lagoona: Tell it, girl

Cleo: But Tarik and Sana wept
Because their son could never come home
They'd have to watch their precious baby grow up from afar

Though The Director's horrid plan
Was hatched before Bal cut his first tooth
The boy grew stronger every day
And that's the gospel truth

Muses: The gospel truth

Young Ballister: You sure this is the right place? What's the matter, little guy? You stuck?

Nimona: Whoa! Hey, butt out, buddy!

Young Ballister: Ugh!

Nimona: Girls! Stop! Stop! Come back, come back, come back. Whoa, whoa-- oh, geez! Whait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, nymphs! They can't keep their hands off me.

Nymph: Hey!

Nimona: What's the matter? You never seen a shapeshifter before?

Young Ballister: Uh.. no. Can you help us? We're looking for someone called Nimona

Nimona: you found her

Young Ballister: nimona

Nimona: ow

Young Ballister: Boy, am I glad to meet you! I'm Ballister. This is Chiapa.

Ballister: Did you see that? Next stop, Olympus.

Nimona: All right, just take it easy, Boss.

Ballister: I am ready, I want to get off this island. I want to see battles and monsters! Rescue some damsels... You know, heroic stuff.

Nimona: Well-

Ballister: Aw, come on, Nimona!

Nimona: Well, okay, okay. You want a road test? Saddle up, Boss. We're going to Thebes!

Ballister: Yahoo! So, what's in Thebes?

Nimona: A lot of problems. It's a big tough town, good place to start building a rep. Sounds like your basic S.I.D. - Someone In Distress.

Ballister: Hyah

Tamatoa: Not so fast, sweetheart.

Ambrosius: I swear, Tamatoa. Put me down or I'll—

Tamatoa: Whoo! I like 'em fiery!

Nimona: Now remember, Boss. First, analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking. Eh? He's losin' points for this!

Ambrosius: You don't know what you're—

Ballister: Halt!

Tamatoa: Step aside, two legs.

Ballister: Pardon me, my good, uh, uh..... sir. I'll have to ask you to release that young...

Ambrosius: Keep movin', junior.

Ballister: ...Sir. But you-- are-aren't you a Someone in distress?

Ambrosius: I am a someone, I am in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.

Nimona: Next time, don't let your guard down because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes! D-oh! It's like I keep tellin' ya. You gotta stay focused, and you--

Ballister: Are you, uh, all right, Sir, uh—

Ambrosius: Ambrosius. My friends call me Goldenboy. At least they would if I had any friends. So, did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorials?

Ballister: Uh, I'm, um, uh—

Ambrosius: Are you always that articulate?

Ballister: Ballister. my-- ahem My name is Ballister.

Ambrosius: Ballister, huh? I think I prefer Bal.

Ballister: So, uh, how-how-how'd you get mixed up with the, uh—

Ambrosius: Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think that "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "take me, I'm yours". Don't worry, Shorty here can explain it to ya later. Well, thanks for everything, Bal. It's been a real slice.

Ballister: Wait! Um.. can we give you a ride?

Ambrosius: Uh, I don't think your Pinto likes me very much.

Ballister: Chiapa? Oh, no, don't be silly. He'd be more than happy to-- ow!

Ambrosius: I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough boy. I tie my own sandals and everything. Bye-bye Bal.

Ambrosius: Aw.. how cute. A couple of rodents looking for a theme park.

Priranha: Who you callin' a rodent, brother? I'm a bunny!

Shark: A-and I'm his gopher.

Together: Ta-dah!

Ambrosius: I thought I smelled a rat.

The Director: Ambrosius.

Ambrosius: Speak of the devil.

The Director: Ambrosius, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut, Amb. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the treasure guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of Treasure guardian-less.

Ambrosius: I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse.

The Director: Fine. So, instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay? Give that your best shot.

Ambrosius: It wasn't my fault. It was that wonderboy, Ballister.

Shark: Ballister? Why does that name ring a bell?

Priranha: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?

The Director: What was that name again?

Ambrosius: Ballister. He comes on with this big, innocent farm  boy routine but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.

Priranha: Wait a minute. Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to—

Together: Oh, my gods!

Shark: Run for it!

The Director: So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a door nail. Weren't those your exact words?

Priranha: his might be a different Ballister.

Shark: Yeah! I mean, Ballister is a... very popular name nowadays!

Priranha: Remember, like, a few years ago every other boy  was named Jason and the girls were all named Brittany?

The Director: I'm about to rearrange the Cosmos, And the one SCHLEMIEL WHO CAN LOUSE IT UP IS WALTZING AROUND IN THE WOODS!!!

Priranha: Wait. Wait, big gal. We can still cut in on his waltzing.

Shark: That's right! And-and-and at least, we made him mortal, that's a good thing. Didn't we?

The Director: Hmm... Fortunately, for the three of you, we still have time to correct this rather egregious oversight. And this time, no foul-ups.

Ballister: Wow! Is that all one town?

Nimona: One town. A million troubles. The one and only Thebes. The big olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Stick with me, boss. This city is a dangerous place.

Donkey Kong: Look where you're goin' numbskull!

Nimona: Hey, I'm walkin' here! You see what I mean? I'm tellin' you- wackos.

Larry: Pita bread, pita bread, get your pita bread here!

Snotlot: Hey, Mack.

Nimona: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Snotlot: You wanna buy a sundial?

Nimona: He's not interested, all right? Come on, Boss.

Mr Crocker: The end is coming! Can't you feel it?

Nimona: Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes. We'll ponder that for a while. Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on. Don't make eye contact. People here are nuts. That's because they live in a city of turmoil. Trust me, boss, you're gonna be just what the doctor ordered.

Mr Krabs: That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!

Ballister: Excuse me. It, uh ahem, seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.

Patrick: Yeah, and who are you?

Ballister: I'm Ballister, and, uh, I happen to be... a hero. 

Mr Krabs: Is that so?

Squidward: A hero!

Mr Krabs: Have you ever saved a town before?

Ballister: Uh, no, uh, not exactly, but I—

Patrick: Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?

Ballister: Well, uh... no.

Patrick: Oh, listen to this. He's just another chariot chaser. This we need.

Squidward: That's a laugh.

Nimona: Don't you pea brains get it?

Squidward: Hmm?

Nimona: This guy is a genuine article.

Spongebob: Hey, isn't that the shapeshifter who trained Gloreth?

Nimona: Watch it pal!

Patrick: Yeah, you're right. Hey, nice job on those heels! Ya' missed a spot!

Nimona: I got your heel right here! I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face! You--

Ballister: Hey Nimona, Nimona, Nimona. Take it easy, Nimona.

Patrick: What are you, ? Sheesh.

Mrs. Puff: Young man, we need a professional hero. Not an amateur.

Ballister: How am I supposed to prove myself a hero if nobody will give me a chance?

Nimona: You'll get your chance; you just need some kind of catastrophe or disaster.

Ambrosius: Please! Help! Please! There's been a terrible accident!

Ballister: Ambrosius?

Nimona: Speaking of disasters.

Ambrosius: Bal! Thank goodness!

Ballister: Wha-what's wrong?

Ambrosius: Outside of town, two little boys, they were playing in the gorge.  There was that rock slide, a terrible rock slide. They're trapped!

Ballister: Kids? Trapped? Nimona, this is great!

Ambrosius: You are really choked up about this, aren't ya?

Ballister: Come on!

Ambrosius: No, I-- You don't under-- I have this terrible fear of heights!

Nimona: I'm right behind ya, boss! Whoo! I am way behind ya, boss. I got a fur wedgie.

Ballister: Are you okay?

Ambrosius: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery

Priranha: Help! I can't breathe!

Shark: Hurry!

Priranha: Get us out!

Shark: We're suffocating! Somebody call IX-I-I

Ballister: Easy fellas, you'll be all right

Priranha: We can't last much longer!

Shark: Get us out before we get crushed!

Ballister: How you boys doin'?

Shark: We're okay now

Priranha: Jeepers, mister, you are really strong!

Ballister: Well, try to be a little more careful next time, okay, kids?

Priranha: We sure will!

The Director: A stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.

Shark: "Jeepers, Mister" ?

Priranha: I was going for innocence.

The Director: And, hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lad. What a dish. What a doll.

Ambrosius: Get outta there, you big lug, while you still can.

Ballister: Nimona, I did great. They even applauded.. sort of.

Nimona: Huh! I hate to burst your bubble, Boss, but that ain't applause.

Ballister: Ni-ni-ni-nimona? What do you call that thing?

Nimona: Two words! Am-scray!!

Ballister: Nimona, you gotta admit, that was pretty heroic.

Nimona: Ya did it, Boss! Ya did it! You won by a landslide!

Mr Shark: Director mad!

Ambrosius: Well. What do ya know?

Clawdeen: From that day forward,

our boy Ballister could do no wrong. He was so hot,

steam looked cool. Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah
Bless my soul
Bal was on a roll

Frankie: Person of the week in every Greek opinion poll

Lagoona: What a pro

Clawdeen: Bal could stop a show
Point him at a monster and you're talking S-R-O
He was a no one

Muses: A zero, zero

Clawdeen: Now he's a honcho

Muses: He's a hero

Clawdeen: Here was a kid with his act down pat

Muses: From zero to hero, in no time flat
Zero to hero

Clawdeen: Just like that

Muses: When he smiled, the girls went wild with
'Oohs' and 'ahs'

Frankie: And they slapped his face on every vase

Draculaura: On every vase

Muses: From appearance fees and royalties
Our Bal had cash to burn
Now nouveau riche and famous

Clawdeen: He could tell you what's a Grecian urn

Muses: Say amen
There he goes again

Cleo: Sweet and undefeated
And an awesome ten for ten

Muses: Folks lined up
Just to watch him flex

Frankie: And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs

Muses: Ballister, he comes
He sees, he conquers
Honey, the crowds were going bonkers
He showed the moxie, brains and spunk
From zero to hero

Frankie: A major hunk

Muses: Zero to hero

Clawdeen: And who'd a thunk? Who put the glad in gladiator?

Muses: Ballister!

Cleo: Whose daring deeds are great theater?

Muses: Ballister!

Cleo: Isn't he bold? Nobody braver

Lagoona: Is he sweet?

Muses: Our favorite flavor

Ballister, Ballister!

Ballister, Ballister!

Ballister, Ballister!

Bless my soul
Bal was on a roll
Undefeated
Riding high

Clawdeen: And the nicest guy

Muses: Not conceited

He was a nothing
A zero, zero
Now he's a hot shot
He's a hero

He hit the heights at breakneck speed
From zero to hero
Bal is a hero
Now he's a hero

Clawdeen: Yes, indeed

The Director: Pull!

Ambrosius: Nice shooting, Rex.

The Director: I can't believe it this guy. I throw everything I've got at him. And it doesn't even-- What... Are... Those?

Priranha: Um.. I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.

The Director: I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 21 years goes up in smoke and YOU ARE WEARING HIS MERCHANDISE!?!?!

Shark: Thirsty?

Ambrosius: Looks like your game's over. Wonderboy is hitting every curve you throw at him.

The Director: Oh yeah.. I wonder if maybe I haven't been  throwing the right curves at him. Ambrosius, my sweet.

Ambrosius: Don't even go there.

The Director: See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness I mean for what? Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay? We simply need to find out Wonderboy's.

Ambrosius: I've done my part. Get your little imps—

The Director: They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need someone who can... handle him as a man.

Ambrosius: Hey, I've sworn off manhandling.

The Director: Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into the jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Ambrosius? Huh?

Ambrosius: Look, I learned my lesson, okay?

The Director: Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down wonder breath and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos , your freedom.

Ambrosius: Let's see, what could be behind curtain number one?

Ballister: Ambrosius!

Ambrosius: It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.

Ballister: Gee, i-i-it's great to see you. I-I-I missed you.

Ambrosius: So, this is what heroes do on their days off

Ballister: I am no hero...

Ambrosius: Sure you are. Everybody in Greece thinks  you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita.

Ballister: I know. It's-it's crazy you know, I can't go anywhere without being mobbed, I mean—

Ambrosius: Ah. You sound like you could use a break. Think your  nanny shifter would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?

Ballister: Oh gee. I-I don't know, uh, Nimona's got the rest of the day pretty much booked.

Ambrosius: Ah, Nimona, Shmill.. Just follow me. Out the window,  round the dumbbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone.

Ballister: Wow. What a day. First that restaurant by the bay,

Ambrosius: Mmm...

Ballister: and then that, that play, that, that Oedipus thing. Man! I thought I had problems.

Shark: Psst! Stop foolin' around!

Priranha: Yeah. Get the goods, Brother.

Ballister: I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun.

Ambrosius: Yeah. Niether did I.

Ballister: Thanks Ambrosius.

Ambrosius: Oh.. Don't that me just yet. Oh!

Ballister: Oops, careful.

Ambrosius: Sorry. Weak ankles.

Ballister: Oh yeah? Well, maybe you better sit down for a while.

Ambrosius: So, uh, do you have any problems with things like.. this?

Ballister: Uh.....

Ambrosius: Weak ankles, I mean.

Ballister: Oh. Uh, no. Not really.

Ambrosius: No weaknesses whatsoever? No trick knee?

Ballister: Uh—

Ambrosius: Ruptured... disks?

Ballister: No. I'm I'm afraid I'm, uh.. fit as a fiddle.

Ambrosius: Bal, you are perfect.

Ballister: Thanks. Whoops.

Ambrosius: It looks better that way. No, it really does.

Ballister: You know, when I was a kid I, I would  have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.

Ambrosius: You wanted to be petty and dishonest?

Ballister: Everybody's not like that.

Ambrosius: Yes they are.

Ballister: You're not like that

Ambrosius: How do you know what I'm like?

Ballister: All I know is.. You're the most amazing person with... weak ankles I've ever met. Ambrosius, when I'm with you I-I don't feel so... alone

Ambrosius: Sometimes it's better to be alone.

Ballister: What do you mean?

Ambrosius: Nobody can hurt you.

Ballister: Ambrosius? I would never ever hurt you.

Ambrosius: And I don't wanna hurt you, so... let's both do  ourselves a favor and.. stop this... um.. before... we--

Nimona: All right! Break it up! Break it up! Party's over! I been lookin' all over this town!

Ambrosius: Calm down, mutton girl! It was all my fault.

Nimona: You're already on my list, brother, so don't make it worse and as for you, ya bum, you're gonna go to the stadium and you're  gonna be put through the workout of your life! Now get on the horse.

Ballister: Okay, okay

Ambrosius: I'm sorry

Ballister: Ah, he'll get over it.

The Director: Hey, what's the buzz, huh, Ambrosius? What is the weak link in the Wonderboy's chain?

Ambrosius: Get yourself another guy, I'm through.

The Director: I'm sorry. Do you mind runnin' that by me again? I must  have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something.

Ambrosius: Then read my lips! Forget it!

The Director: Ambrosius, Ambrosius, Ambrosius, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we  forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? I OWN YOU!!!

Nimona: Oh. I got another horn here..

The Director: You work for me!

Nimona: That man's gonna be doin' laps for a month

The Director: If I say, "sing", you say, "hey, name that tune" If  I say, "I want Wonderboy's head on a platter" you say—

Ambrosius: Medium or well done

Nimona: Oh! I knew that dude was trouble. This is gonna break the man's heart.

Ambrosius: I'll work on that.

The Director: I'm sorry.. You hear that sound? That's the  sound of your freedom fluttering out the window forever

Ambrosius: I don't care. I'm not gonna help you hurt him.

The Director: I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy.

Ambrosius: This one is different. He's honest, and-and he's sweet--

The Director: Please!

Ambrosius: He would never do anything to hurt me.

The Director: He's a guy!

Ambrosius: Besides, oh, oneness, you can't beat him. He has no weaknesses, he's gonna—

The Director: I think... he does, Ambrosius. I truly think... he does.

Ballister: Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! Hey, Nimona! What happened to you?

Nimona: Boss, we gotta talk.

Ballister: Oh, Nimona, I just had the greatest day of my life!  I-I can't stop thinking about Ambrosius. He's something else.

Nimona: Boss! I'm tryin' to talk to ya! Will you come down here and listen?

Ballister: Aw, how can I come down there when I'm feeling so up?

Nimona: Ah, very nice! What I'm trying to say is—

Ballister: That if it wasn't for you, I never would  have met him. Oh, I owe ya big time. Little gal, I do.

Nimona: Will you just knock it off for a couple of seconds?

Ballister: Rule #38, Come on, Nimona, keep them up there, huh? Nimona, I got two words for ya: Duck!

Nimona: Listen to me! He's—

Ballister: A dream come true?

Nimona: Not exactly

Ballister: More handsome then Adam?

Nimona: Aside from that!

Ballister: The most wonderful—

Nimona: He's a fraud!!! He's been playin' ya for a sap!

Ballister: Aw, come on. Stop kiddin' around

Nimona: I'm not kiddin' around

Ballister: I know you're upset about today, but that's no reason to—

Nimona: Boss, you're missin' the point

Ballister: The point is - I love him.

Nimona: He don't love you

Ballister: You're crazy

Nimona: He's nothin' but a two-timin',

Ballister: Stop it!

Nimona: no-good, lyin', schemin'—

Ballister: Shut up! Nimona, I-- Oh, I'm, I'm sorry.

Nimona: Okay, okay, that's it. You won't face the truth? Fine.

Ballister: Nimona, wait. Where you going?

Nimona: I'm hoppin' the first barge out of here. I'm goin' home.

Ballister: Fine! G-- Go! I don't-- I don't need you.

Nimona: I thought you were gonna be the all-time champ. Not the all-time chump.

The Director: Geez Louise! What got her goat, huh? Baboom.  Name is The Director of the Dead. Hi. How ya doin'?

Ballister: Not now, okay?

The Director: Hey, hey, I only need a few seconds and I'm a fast talker, all right? See, I've got the major deal in the works. A real estate venture, if you will. And Bal, you little devil you, may I call you Bal? You seem to be constantly getting in the way of it.

Ballister: You've got the wrong guy.

The Director: Hear me out, ya little-- heh-heh. Just-- hear me out, okay? So I would be eternally grateful if you would just... take a day off from this hero business of yours. Geez, I mean, monsters, natural disasters. Phew You wait a day, okay?

Ballister: You're out of your mind.

The Director: Not so fast, because, ya see, I do have a little leverage... You might wanna know about.

Ballister: Ambrosius!

Ambrosius: Don't listen, Bal--

Ballister: Let him go!

The Director:Here's the trade-off. You give up your strength for about 24 hours, okay? Say, the next 24 hours and Ambrosius here is free as a bird and safe from harm. We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What d'ya say? Come on.

Ballister: People are, are gonna get hurt, aren't they?

The Director: Nah! I mean, it's, you know, it's a possibility. It happens 'cause, you know, it's war, but what can I tell ya? Anyway, what do you owe these people, huh? Isn't Ambrosius -- little smoochy face -- isn't he more important than they are?

Ballister: Stop it!

The Director: Isn't he?

Ballister: You gonna swear he'll be safe from any harm.

The Director: Fine, okay, I'll give you that one. Ambrosius is safe, otherwise you get your strength right back, yadda-yadda, fine print, boilerplate, baboom. Okay? We're done, what d'ya say we shake on it? Hey, I really don't have, like, time to bat this around. I'm kind of on a schedule here, I got plans for August. Okay? I need an answer, like, now. Going once, going twice

Ballister: All right!

The Director: Yes, we're there! Bam! 

Ambrosius: You may feel just a little queasy, it's kinda natural. Maybe you should sit down. Now you know how it feels to be just like everybody else. isn't it just peachy? Oh! You'll love this. One more thing. Ambrosius, babe. A deal's a deal. You're off the hook. By the way, bal. Is she not, like, a fabulous little actor?

Ambrosius: Stop it.

Ballister: What do you mean?

The Director: I mean your little chickie-poo here was working for me all the time. Duh.

Ballister: You're-- you're lying!

Shark: Help!

Priranha: Jeepers, mister, you're really strong. Ha-ha!

The Director: Couldn't have done it without you, sugar, sweetheart, babe

Ambrosius: No! It's not like that! I didn't mean to-- I-I couldn't-- I-- I'm so sorry.

Priranha and Shark: Our hero's a zero! Our hero's a zero!

The Director: Well, gotta blaze. There's a while cosmos up there waiting for me with, hey, my name on it.  So much for the preliminaries, and now on to the main event!

The Director: Brothers! Titans! Look at you in your squalid prison! Who put you down there?

Teen Titans: Tarik!

The Director: And now that I set you free, what is the first thing you are going to do?

Teen Titans: Destroy him!

The Director: Good answer

Cyborg: Crush Tarik!

Beast Boy: Freeze him!

Starfire: Melt Tarik!

Raven: Blow him away!

Teen Titans: Tarik!

The Director: Uh, Guys? Olympus would be that way.

Cyborg: Tarik!

Beast Boy: Freeze him!

The Director: Hold it, bright eye

Robin: Huh?

The Director: I have a special job for you, my optic friend

Robin: Ballister! Where are you?

Squidward: What can we do?

Patrick: Where's Ballister?

Mr Krabs: Yeah, Ballister'll save us.

Robin: Ballister! Come out! Face me!

Ambrosius: What are you doing? Without your strength, you'll be killed.

Ballister: There are worse things.

Robin: Run!

Ambrosius: Wait! stop!

Patrick: Hey, look! It's Ballister.

Mrs. Puff: Thank the gods, we're saved!

Robin: So, you mighty Ballister

Ambrosius: Easy, Jaguarfeathers. Whoa! Stop twitching, listen. Ah! Ballister is in trouble. We gotta find Nimona, she's the only one who can talk some sense into him.

Sailor: Come on! Hurry up! We're shovin' off here!

Ambrosius: Nimona! Nimona, Ballister needs your help!

Nimona: What does he need me for when he's got friends like you?

Ambrosius: He won't listen to me

Nimona: Good! He's finally learned something.

Ambrosius: Look, I know what I did was wrong, but this isn't about me, it's about him. If you don't help him now, Nimona, he'll die!

Robin: Flea!

Nimona: Ballister!

Ballister: Nimona!

Nimona: Come on, Boss, come on. Fight back. Come on, you  can take this bum, This guy's a pushover, look at him

Ballister: You were right all along, Nimona. Dreams are for rookies.

Nimona: No, no, no, no, Boss, givin' up is for rookies. I came back 'cause  I'm not quittin' on ya. I'm willing to go the distance, how 'bout you?

Robin: Me bite off head!

Nimona: Whoa, baby!

Ambrosius: Ballister! Look out!

Ballister: Ambrosius?! NOOO! What's happening?

Ambrosius: The Director's deal is broken. She promised I wouldn't get hurt.

Ballister: Ambrosius. Why, why did you-- you didn't have to—

Ambrosius: Oh. People always do crazy things... when they're in love.

Ballister: Oh, Ambrosius. Ambrosius, I-- I—

Ambrosius: Are you... always this articulate? You, you haven't got much time. You can still stop The Director.

Nimona: I'll watch over him, boss.

Ballister: You're gonna be all right. I promise. Let's go Chiapa!

Ballister: Ambrosius. Ambrosius, no.

Nimona: Oh, I'm sorry, boss. There's some things you just can't change.

Ballister: Yes I can.

The Director: We were so close! So close. We tripped the finish line. Why? because our little nut, Ambrosius, has to go all noble.

Ballister: Where's Ambrosius?

The Director: Oh, look who's here. Wonderboy, you are too much.

Ballister: Let him go.

The Director: Get a grip! Come here, come here. Let me show you around. Hmph. Well, well. It's a small underworld after all, huh?

Ballister: Ambrosius! Ahhh!

The Director: No, no, no. Mustn't touch. You see, Ambrosius running with a new crowd these days. And not a very lively one, at that.

Ballister: You like making deals. Take me in Ambrosius' place.

The Director: Oh, well. The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a River of Death.

Ballister: Going once!

The Director: Hmm. Is there a downside to this?

Ballister: Going twice!

The Director: Okay, okay, okay, okay. You get him out - he goes, you stay. Oh, you know what slipped my mind? You'll be dead before you can get to him. That's not a problem, is it?

Mai: Oh?

Azula: What's the matter with these scissors?

Ty lee: The thread won't cut.

The Director: This is-- this is impossible! You, you, you can't be alive! You'd have to be a, a—

Priranha and Shark: A god?

The Director: Ballister, stop! You can't do this to me. You can't-- Fine, okay, listen. Hah! Okay, well, I deserved that, Bal, Bal, Bal. Can we talk? Y-Your dad, he's a fun guy, right? So maybe you could put in a word with him and he'd kinda blow this whole thing off, you know? Ambrosius, Ambrosius, talk to him, a little schmooze-- Eew! Get away from me! Don't touch me! Get your slimy souls off me! Ooh, ah—

Shark: She's not gonna be happy when she gets outta there.

Priranha: You mean, if she gets outta there.

Shark: If. If is good.

The Director: Taxi! I don't feel so good, I feel a little flushed!

Ambrosius: Wonderboy, what-- why did you—

Ballister: Huh. People always do crazy things... when they are in love.

Nimona: Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Whoo!

Ambrosius: Congratulations, Wonderboy. You'll make one heck of a god.

Ballister: Father, this is the moment I've always dreamed of. But... A life without Ambrosius, even an immortal life, would be... empty.  I-- I wish to stay on Earth with him. I finally know where I belong.

They finally kiss

Chuck: Hit it, ladies!

Muses: Oh, gonna shout it from the mountaintops A star is born! It's the time for pulling out the stops A star is born! Honey, hit us with a hallelu That kid came shining through Girl, sing the song Come blow your horn A star is born! He's a hero who can please the crowd A star is born! Come on, everybody shout out loud A star is born! Just remember in the darkest hour, Within your hear's the power For makin' you A hero too

[Here the Constellation of Ballister appears]

So don't lose hope When you're forlorn

[Nimona sees Patrick pointing at it and saying: "That's Nimona's boy!"]

Just keep your eyes Upon the skies Every night, A star is right in sight, A star is burning bright, A star is born A star is born

The Director: What do ya say? It’s happy ending time. Everybody's got a little taste of somethin' but me. I got nothin'. I-I'm here with nothin'. Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm... What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what? Hyperspace? Hello, it's me. Nobody listens.