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Qua Omsa Logiwann
23 Watchers11.7K Page Views50 Deviations

I Am

I

I Am

I am autistic I wonder if people can tell I hear everything 
I see people's eyes burning into mine 
I want eye contact not to burn 
I am autistic
 I pretend I am normal I feel other people's emotions 
I touch the thin glass wall between me and everyone else 
I worry that I will never completely destroy that glass wall 
I cry when other people cry 
I am autistic 

I understand that I am not perfect 
I say why should I aspire to be something false I dream of finding the balance between extreme emotions and apathy and I try to find that balance 
I hope that s

Shield

S

Shield

I am stuck behind a glass wall of my own creation. It serves as a shield against the stones they throw. I can hear them all clattering against the glass and the sound hurts my ears. But so far, there are no cracks in my shield. I can see what they see. I can hear what they hear. But I can't feel what they feel. Out in the blizzard I have built myself a transparent box. It keeps me safe and it keeps me warm. But I almost wish I was out in the blizzard instead. Is the biting, bitter cold really worse than the stifling heat? I can see what they see. I can hear what they hear. But I can't feel what they feel. My own voice, my own

Regret

R

Regret

The door that no one opened The wall that no one tore down The glass that no one shattered The fruit that everyone let rot The fire that no one tended The beauty that everyone ignored The music that no one ever heard

Facts

F

Facts

Facts I've always wondered: What exactly Are "Dancing Souls"? Are they little glowing bladders Jumping around On hot coals? And why do so many people insist They like to dance In the rain? Because when I do that, My hair gets frizzy, Which drives me insane. And as for your beautiful new love, That is bursting into bloom, And that feels flaming hot: These descriptions may make For pleasant images, But they still don't tell me a lot. Really, no matter how many Heartfelt metaphors you use And then attempt to explain: Love is just science, Feelings are just synapses, And they're created by your brain. I want to hear Your
See all

I Am

I

I Am

I am autistic I wonder if people can tell I hear everything 
I see people's eyes burning into mine 
I want eye contact not to burn 
I am autistic
 I pretend I am normal I feel other people's emotions 
I touch the thin glass wall between me and everyone else 
I worry that I will never completely destroy that glass wall 
I cry when other people cry 
I am autistic 

I understand that I am not perfect 
I say why should I aspire to be something false I dream of finding the balance between extreme emotions and apathy and I try to find that balance 
I hope that s

Shield

S

Shield

I am stuck behind a glass wall of my own creation. It serves as a shield against the stones they throw. I can hear them all clattering against the glass and the sound hurts my ears. But so far, there are no cracks in my shield. I can see what they see. I can hear what they hear. But I can't feel what they feel. Out in the blizzard I have built myself a transparent box. It keeps me safe and it keeps me warm. But I almost wish I was out in the blizzard instead. Is the biting, bitter cold really worse than the stifling heat? I can see what they see. I can hear what they hear. But I can't feel what they feel. My own voice, my own

Regret

R

Regret

The door that no one opened The wall that no one tore down The glass that no one shattered The fruit that everyone let rot The fire that no one tended The beauty that everyone ignored The music that no one ever heard

Facts

F

Facts

Facts I've always wondered: What exactly Are "Dancing Souls"? Are they little glowing bladders Jumping around On hot coals? And why do so many people insist They like to dance In the rain? Because when I do that, My hair gets frizzy, Which drives me insane. And as for your beautiful new love, That is bursting into bloom, And that feels flaming hot: These descriptions may make For pleasant images, But they still don't tell me a lot. Really, no matter how many Heartfelt metaphors you use And then attempt to explain: Love is just science, Feelings are just synapses, And they're created by your brain. I want to hear Your
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In The Mirror

I

In The Mirror

Oh, what I wouldn't give- For a chance to be you. To look into the mirror And to see somebody new. Somebody who's lovely And somebody who's kind. Somebody who never feels As though they've lost their mind. I bet I'd never hurt again- I bet I'd never cry. I bet I'd never, ever feel As though I want to die. I bet everyone would love me more If I could see someone else. Someone who was good and smart- And sociable as well. I'd never have to fear again The problems in my head. Why, they would surely disappear If I were you instead! And I guess that's why I envy you- Because you see someone else. And really, sometimes, I can'

Spotlight

Pointillism Eye

13Comments
  • Aug 13
  • United States
  • Deviant for 11 years
  • She / Her
Badges
Super Albino: Llamas are awesome! (149)
My Bio
Haaiiiiii.

I am a 20-year-old, female college student - but that is the only identifying info I'm giving out right smack on the front of my DA page. The idea of being stalked, kidnapped and murdered doesn't appeal to me, thank you very much.



I have Asperger's Syndrome. I also have brown hair, a cell phone, a driver's license, and an interest in neuroscience. AS is just one part of who I am.

I am a clean-freak, but not a neat-freak. Yes, there is a difference.

I'd say I'm generally a good-tempered person - I try to get along with everyone, and there is nothing I hate more than when my friends fight with each other.



Likes: warm/dry/light places, color, chocolate, waffles, apples, food in general, hugs, true friends, Sudoku, art, reading, writing, researching my special interests (odd medical conditions, weird religious cults, etc.), genetics, science in general, (abnormal) psychology, forensic anthropology, poison dart frogs, the internet, that little red flag above my inbox indicating that I have new mail, my dog, relaxing, sleeping, order

Dislikes: cantaloupe, massages, Westboro Baptists, Brazilian waxes (the way they look, not the way they feel - I've never gotten one), loud/sudden noises, people who patronize me, cold weather, anything with a creamy/milky texture, germs, tedious tasks, Hitler (biggest example of fail EVER), intolerance of people who are "different", hypocrisy, being sleep-deprived, my skin, panic attacks, anything that's cold and/or damp

Fears: The dark (ironically I was not afraid of this when I was little), death, oil trucks (thank you, "Marathon Man"), train tracks (only when I'm driving though), catching a disease, germs

Women I most admire: Heather Kuzmich, Margaret Moth, Ladyhawke, Eleanor Roosevelt, Libba Phillips

Style inspirations: Rayanne Graff ("My So-Called Life"), Ladyhawke (singer)



-I've been described as "weird" and "bizarre"
-I am very bad at organizing myself
-I am a HUGE procrastinator - and yes, this does include getting back to people ... HOWEVER, a huge part of the reason I am on here, is to be social, so if I take awhile to get back to you ... it's me, not you
-Another huge part of the reason I am on here, is to show off my art, and to keep improving. So if you have feedback, please let me know - I like honesty! (But don't be mean, please. =p)

Welcome to my domain!

Current Residence: Earth
deviantWEAR sizing preference: small/medium
Favourite genre of music: My musical taste is quite eclectic...
Favourite cartoon character: Ray Gillette
Personal Quote: "Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting"

Favourite Visual Artist
Kaitrin Beechey
Favourite Movies
Benny and Joon, Death at a Funeral, Mona Lisa Smile, Best in Show, Mozart and the Whale
Favourite Games
Amateur Surgeon
Tools of the Trade
My brain
Other Interests
Reading, drawing, writing, researching

In 2011...

In 2011...

-I discovered Howard Stern! -I met my friend Sarah! (aka "Chum") -I took the bus by myself for the first time (I have gone with friends before) - I went down to Boston to visit Emma -I was on time to most of my classes -I met Carrie (coworker) and helped her plan/carry out the cat carnival (funny story, btw...) -I lost weight and my skin is looking (somewhat) better than it has for awhile -I (re)discovered my love of genetics, and am thinking about possibly becoming a genetics counselor... -I fulfilled my language requirement!!!! (Thank you, Emma, that IS a big one!) -I went on a few dates this summer! (And I still communicate frequen

*snort*

*snort*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdljGsg6uD0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NK0Wc63boJE

September 11, 2001

September 11, 2001

I was in 5th grade at the time (11 years old). Midmorning, after checking his email, our teacher, Mr. Brown, told us that there would be no recess that day - we all had to go to the gym, because they had to tell us something serious. (I was living in Illinois at the time, which is an hour earlier than New York.) All morning, we pestered Mr. Brown about what it might be, but he did not say anything. At lunch, we all speculated what could possibly be so important, that we had to miss recess: "Maybe Mr. Sullivan (principal) died", etc. etc. etc. So, at recess time, all the 5th graders piled into the gym (the 3rd and 4th graders had heard this a

Comments 265

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Happy birthday! :D
Happy birthday! :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! :) =D =D
Thanks for the fave!
Thank you so much for the:+fav: ! :iconwhiteroseplz:
Thanks for the fave.

I'm both a clean freak and a neat freak. :)