"It is an embarassment of the highest order to offend somebody unintentionally.
Offence is something that should be given intentionally, malice aforethought, and with a panache that would make Cyrano de Bergarac weep"
To me that sounds like the sort of thing that Oscar Wilde might have said.
Headline says: "The worst floods in 30 years !"
Actually says: "We had worse floods 31 years ago."
Label says: "Kills 99.9% of germs"
Actually says: "Leaves the strongest 0.1% of germs to multiply unhindered"
Halloween isn't just about trick or treating, it's also about remembering the departed - visiting their graves, laying flowers, lighting candles in remembrance, saying quiet prayers... and leaving offerings to placate the unquieter spirits.
Little Morticia doesn't like flowers or prayers.
But she does like candles, and this year she's using a special candle to see if she can wake up an unquiet spirit.
She's brought her baby brother Damien* along, just in case the unquiet spirit is hungry. As a sort of offering.
(This was the backstory for a never-completed picture for a Fairy Tales Gone Horribly Wrong challenge)
As Grampy Colombo sat down and opened the book, little Fred laughed "No, Grampy! We finished 'Crapunzel:The Princess And The Pee' at the weekend. It's the rest of 'Little Snow White Riding Hood Goes To Grannys On A Wednesday' today"
"Ah yes," chuckled Grampy, "of course." And as he rummaged through the book-filled pockets of his overcoat little Fred summarised the story so far - "Since it was Wednesday Little Snow White Riding hood was visiting her uncle as usual. But because her mum had run out of honey she'd decided to also pay a surpri