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By 3dcheapskate   |   Watch
Published: March 2, 2018
Self-professed King of Kings of Thieves.

Among the trophies he carries (or wears) are the Codpiece Of Dionysus (+5 on all ego-related rolls), the Bicorne Cocked***** Dual-Cocked Unicorne Beaver* Of Dandyquiff (gives the user the ability to hypnotise people by a slight, repetitive nodding of the head), the Swagbag of Loki (purported to be made from the nether parts of an extremely surprised and angry dragon), the Boots Of Nancy Sinatra (one of these days...), the Rapier Of Something Witty, the Haunted Trousers Of Harry Greaves (Trust Me...… ) etc...

But since Cocklaurel is only a level 1 thief it's highly unlikely that any of these are genuine***. And I think the swagbag's really just two big rubber balloons.


*No, that isn't rude - it's a type of hat: Bicorne is like tricorne but with two cocks** instead of three (Napolean wore one (a bicorne, not a cock), so did Wellington. In fact the Napoleonic Wars were actually all about who was wearing their bicorne the right way round); Cocked** is already explained later; Beaver hats are hats that are made from beaver pelts. Duh! What's less obvious is that the designation wasn't limited to the American frontiersmen's plop-a-dead-furry-animal-legs-and-tail-and-all-on-your-head type hats, but also included many fashionable and military styles in Europe. And yes, Bicorne Cocked Beaver is actually tautology - Bicorne Beaver or Cocked Beaver**** would have sufficed. I'm not talking rubbish (well, not complete rubbish), it's all sort-of true-ish - check out this non-regulation cocked beaver hat (… ) and this Naval officer's black beaver cocked hat (… ). The Australian slouch hat with it's turned up brim on one side could be a Unicorne (correction: it's not, it's actually a Corne-less Uni-cock*****), but I'm not aware of any Quadricornes or higher order cornes*****.

**A cock is a turning up of the brim of a hat, as in a cocked hat. And I always thought a cocked hat was simply one worn at a jaunty angle? So would a hat with a turned up brim worn at a jaunty angle be a double-cocked hat?

***Except the +5 on all ego-related rolls.

****To be precise a Bicorne Beaver equates to a Dual-Cocked Beaver

*****I've just realized that a Corne is actually the pointy bit where two Cocks meet. Historical Bicornes have two Cocks and two Cornes, historical Tricornes have three Cocks and Three Cornes, but a Unicorne has a single Corne and two Cocks. So Cocklaurel's hat is actually a Dual-Cocked Unicorne, and an Australian slouch hat is a Corne-less Uni-Cock.

(originally posted on the DAZ forums in the "Pointless Prizeless Challenge #87: Render A Ridiculous RPG CharacterPointless Prizeless Challenge #87: Render A Ridiculous RPG Character" thread here -… )
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