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About Deviant The dude abides manFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Statistics 48 Deviations 865 Comments 8,419 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

I couldn't begin to explain how sorry I am. Oh, how desperately I wish I could erase this. Go back in time and stop it all from ever happening.
It's been so long since that day, a few years I think. That day when we were forced into becoming forever apart.
You never deserved any of this.
I think about you all the time.
Sometimes, I try speaking to you. Silly, I know, but there are certain days when I swear that you respond.
I miss you so much.
I miss your laugh.
I miss that smile. I never see it anymore.
I think that is a part of what pains me the most.
Never seeing your smile…it reminds me of my failure.
I really didn't think it would hurt this much. I feel like I could cry. Not that it would do either of us any good.
Some days, I wish with all my heart that I could just be there with you
Maybe then I could see you smile.
I never wanted things to end up like this. I still feel so guilty.
I wish I could have told you
Just how much I care.
But I realize, that then we would
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 1 4
Cloudy boy by 1kawaiisuika Cloudy boy :icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 4 0 deviant ID by 1kawaiisuika deviant ID :icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 0 3
21. Rainbow
21. Rainbow
Red like hot anger
Orange like a child’s energy
Yellow like fear
Green like strength
Blue like confusion
Indigo like grief
Violet like passion
Grey like true hate
Brown like death
Black like pain
White like pure love
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 2 13
55. Danger Ahead
55. Danger Ahead
No noise…
The eerie silence lingers in the still night air…
Something’s wrong….
Is there danger ahead?
Is it just paranoia?
Walk further on see what’s there…
See the Danger ahead…
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 1 4
74. Mirror
74. Mirror
What’s in a mirror…
We see a reflection, but what is it of?
A beauty, a fake, a monster, a nothing?
Or perhaps the “reflection” sees you…
Everyone’s is different…everyone sees things differently…
It’s all in the eye of the beholder—and yet one’s opinion can change…
So…Look again—and what’s in a mirror?
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 3 11
41. Chains
I hate the chains that bound me in...
so trapped...
so alone...
it's become hard to breathe.
I'm emersed in you....
i bet that's how you feel...
don't struggle, don't fight.
I'll soon be there to make it alright.
i'll break you free
i'll release you from the chains
that hold you down...
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 0 39
WARNING by 1kawaiisuika WARNING :icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 2 9 interwebs shit by 1kawaiisuika interwebs shit :icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 1 10
78. Fuck
Fuck it.
I need you in me….
Fuck it.
You don’t even love me.
I can’t get enough.
Want more
Fuck it.
You can’t get it here
You don’t want me…
Fuck it
No one…
No body….
Will see you again.
Fuck it
You’re my prisoner
Fuck it.
You’re mine.
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 2 4
67. Sick
67. Sick
So sick of tension…
So sick of you….
I’m sick of life and love…
Go away!
Go away!
You always say how you “don’t understand”
Shut up!
You make me sick …
Is what you are
Is what I am
I hate this feeling
All this worthless crap
No more love
No more life
No more you and no more me.
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 2 5
57. Kick In The Head
57. Kick in the head
I kick…
You cringe,
You Flinch,
I’m sorry,
You will never know…
Every punch…
It hurts me too.
But you can’t know that.
I’m sorry
For that kick in the head
For that punch to the gut
For slamming you into the walls
For the other kick
The third
Fifth to the head…
I know
It damages you so badly…
If I stop then everyone will know….
So sorry for this kick in the head…
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 1 4
36. Rot
36. Rot
Fuck you.
I hate you.
You disgust me.
You’re pathetic.
You’re worthless.
You’re weak.
You can rot.

Yet you’re all I’ve got…
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 0 10
5. Poison
5. Poison
You’re my poison,
You’re my drug,
I need my dose…
I can’t help it.
I need it like air…
The best,
The slowest poison…
Take me over.
I can’t breath anymore...
You’ve poisoned me through and through.
Yet I can’t get enough…
My drug.
My love.
My fear.
My life.
My one true poison…
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 1 0
Mature content
burning brightly-- :icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 0 6
my 100 themes list
100 themes list
1. Reality
2. Transformation
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Poison
6. Break
7. Silhouette
8. Boredom
9. Wrath
10. Vulnerable
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Typical
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Pain In The Ass
19. Inevitable
20. Fate
21. Rainbow
22. Mother
23. Moonlight
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. No Where
28. Sorrow
29. Distasteful
30. Under The Rain
31. Happy/ness/
32. Night ‘N’ Star
33. Expectations
34. Morning
35. Vampire
36. Rot
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dream
40. Rated
41. Chains
42. Lost
43. Dying
44. Options
45. Illusion
46. Midnight
47. Childhood
48. Scar
49. Breaking The Rules
50. Soft
51. Deep In Thought
52. Keeping A Secret
53. Snow
54. Waiting
55. Danger Ahead
56. Sacrifice
57. Kick In The Head
58. No Way Out
59. Rejection
60. Holiday
61. Mislead
62. Do Not Disturb
63. Multitasking
64. Horror
65. Trap
66. Playing the Melody
67. Sick
68. Annoyance
69. Weary
70. Obsession
71. Mischief Managed
72. I can’t
:icon1kawaiisuika:1kawaiisuika 1 5


Belly Dance Loki WIP *animated* by stormsparrow Belly Dance Loki WIP *animated* :iconstormsparrow:stormsparrow 42 2 shower by KanzakiVS
Mature content
shower :iconkanzakivs:KanzakiVS 330 47
Sakura ring from polymer clay by Krinna Sakura ring from polymer clay :iconkrinna:Krinna 8,049 866 Loki Cosplay - The Avengers by Aicosu Loki Cosplay - The Avengers :iconaicosu:Aicosu 5,405 549 SPN: PUDDING! by Ween-E SPN: PUDDING! :iconween-e:Ween-E 287 50 [ThorKi] You are not alone by setsuna1111 [ThorKi] You are not alone :iconsetsuna1111:setsuna1111 2,659 233 Brave by kleinmeli Brave :iconkleinmeli:kleinmeli 7,034 978 Siren's Stare by JoJoesArt Siren's Stare :iconjojoesart:JoJoesArt 3,893 173 Zodiac  Dragon . Libra by The-SixthLeafClover Zodiac Dragon . Libra :iconthe-sixthleafclover:The-SixthLeafClover 6,037 223 Eruption by kleineHerz Eruption :iconkleineherz:kleineHerz 744 78 Loki by kaiser-mony Loki :iconkaiser-mony:kaiser-mony 6,180 280 Damn Chopsticks by KINOKO19 Damn Chopsticks :iconkinoko19:KINOKO19 538 40 Thorki by blargberries
Mature content
Thorki :iconblargberries:blargberries 1,366 76
BEDTIME by blargberries BEDTIME :iconblargberries:blargberries 3,205 416 Welcome Home by blargberries Welcome Home :iconblargberries:blargberries 600 39


:iconxxxrainbowkibblexxx: :iconjomog369: :iconamontadillo: :iconfyi-sus: :iconcupcakemcsparkles: :iconmooseyfategirl: :iconhanajimawashere: :iconafriendsoc:



Goddess by Sugargrl14 Goddess :iconsugargrl14:Sugargrl14 5,139 631 Passionata by Lilyas Passionata :iconlilyas:Lilyas 5,709 307 Summer nights.. by closer-to-heaven Summer nights.. :iconcloser-to-heaven:closer-to-heaven 3,077 524 Black Cat by iKate Black Cat :iconikate:iKate 13,024 1,326 IrieLove by Teruchan
Mature content
IrieLove :iconteruchan:Teruchan 2,691 597
Chilly by deland-fox Chilly :icondeland-fox:deland-fox 4,050 176 .Hope. by Sugargrl14 .Hope. :iconsugargrl14:Sugargrl14 6,726 857 Gunslinger by ionen Gunslinger :iconionen:ionen 6,952 353



The dude abides man
United States
Current Residence: outside your window...
deviantWEAR sizing preference: the kind that fits
Favourite genre of music: alternative
Favourite style of art: artistic
Operating System: Windows
MP3 player of choice: Ipod nano 5th generation
Shell of choice: Turtle
Wallpaper of choice: the sticky kind
Skin of choice: mine
Favourite cartoon character: i dunno...?
  • Listening to: Korn / Skrillex- Get up!
  • Reading: Malady By: ziggypasta (on
  • Watching: TVD and Supernatural
  • Playing: KH:ReCoded
  • Eating: plain cake
  • Drinking: sweet tea
Okay. Life has been weird lately....Anyways, I've gotten around to doing something on dA again. I don't post stuff here anymore. I do check it every few days. I return messages and llamas.

If You feel like it you can find me on tumblr --->

-edit-  Welp, I went and posted something. Proving myself wrong....


Add a Comment:
MadMoro Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the Llama!
1kawaiisuika Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
Not a problem <3
cherry12 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
thanks for the llama :iconllamadanceplz:
1kawaiisuika Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2012
Not a problem :nod:. No need to thank me.
cheesyGFX Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Student Interface Designer
Thanks for faving!:D
1kawaiisuika Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
no problem :D
ScarsFromOctober Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Ty for the favv !!!
it made my dayy !!! :D
1kawaiisuika Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
no problem

i really like the composition, the wording gives good details and--it's just good all around. nice work deserves to be faved :D
ScarsFromOctober Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
D'awww !!!
thank you veryyyyy verryyy much !!! :heart: !!!! :huggle:
1kawaiisuika Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
Add a Comment: