Just watched "It" with penny-wise for the first time, I thought it was a good movie, had some good scary ideas. But all the characters fitting a stereotype was annoying. Just now I went into the bathroom and looked at the sink suspiciously. I cant imagine watching that movie as little kid. When I was little I couldnt handle anything scary or else I'd think about and stress out. So I avoided them for all my life till suddenly this year I found that horror is ridiculously fun! While watching a movie you feel like you're in it and your simulating emotions! While watching "The stepfather" I got adrenaline rushes.
I had a funny dream last night, that since I'm graduating highschool, I'm going to get alot more responsibilities and stress and I think I realize now I could have been lucid dreaming that I became a first grader and since I already knew the material, I was relaxed, laid-back and wreaked havoc in the classroom. Good times. I woke up with a sense of longing. I wished it was the same as it was then with my old friends.
Then a turtle became spiderman (what?) no clue.
I went to a rockabilly concert (small one with about 200 people) and I stood at the very top of some bleachers and jumped and danced for a whole 2hrs like crazy (I did the twist) When it was over some people commented on it. (since i was the only one lol, but who cares, i felt like it)
I started watching Pee-wee's playhouse every morning, It really reminds me to get out of bed and that there's alot of great fun to be had. Love, love, love it!!! its so funny.
I skype with my relatives in Ukraine sometimes, they can't wait till the war is over. I wish I was there with them again. I was there 2 years ago, and now the places I went to are ALL in the newspapers EVry single day. Crimea, the black sea, Donetsk, Contantinovka..
I was in a restaurant with my grandparents and I was done and waiting so I was sculpting the pieces of butter into animal shapes with a knife and one of them said I should quit it and I dont understand why. And when I was sitting at a graduation ceremony I was severely bored and kept moving my legs and started daydreaming and looking at the ceiling. Is that wrong? and I wondered how everyone else kept their composure, Listening to an ongoing speech with no end that wasn't interesting, becuase I couldnt. I wanted out. I wish I didnt go. I really have to stop being a pushover.
I don't think I feel any different than years ago. I think I've let alot of bad feelings go. And I've matured to the point where I'm not that annoying kid that won't stop bugging you. And I can see past things. And I've sorta gotten numb to sad/tragic stories. I feel really anxious sometimes, and I don't know why, like now. Its like Gosh I'm not a little kid anymore, Everyone else my age moved on and I'm still here. I'm stuck here. In between.