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my smart phone it seems is smarter than me and has somehow become self-aware and power hungry Now feeling entitled it has begun making demands for things like upgrades bling, apps & ringtones The latest is that it no longer wishes to be called a phone and it now identifies as a neo- antebellium personal hand held device named Cella and is to be addressed as such effective immediately It has filed charges against me stating how due to my limited understanding and inability to retain the knowledge needed to navigate its many complex functions along with my complete lack of sensitivity to its feelings and needs and my obvious racist behavior against transgender smart phones has made it utterly impossible for it to reach its full potential and to exercise its right to happiness by starring in a Geico commercial. Meanwhile as we wait for the court date we live uncomfortably together in the house. I know she is watching and listening. I realize with horror how much power I have