there is a picture in my living room
of my parents in their twenties, in sunhats,
there is a picture of my father holding me
when i was two years old.
there is a picture of my parents
on their wedding day.
there is a picture of me when i was
ten, eleven, twelve.
i’m seventeen now and
i won’t let my mother
take any of the pictures
i need to believe that, at one point,
this house was more than just
i was born on the second-to-last day
i weighed seven pounds, two ounces,
and it was ninety-nine degrees out.
four years before that, in 1992,
the officers who beat rodney king
within an inch of his life
five years before that, in 1991,
a cyclone in Bangladesh killed
138,000 people and made 10 million
ten years before that, in 1986,
a fire in a Los Angeles library
damaged more than 400,000
and on that day, april 29, 1996, i was born
and i’d like to pretend
that it was a go
- Prologue/ Information
Clothes - Black Skinny Jeans, f/c DrMartens, f/c vest top, black short sleeved hoodie, black fingerless gloves ( like Ash Ketchum's gloves but not green)
Walking through the shadow dwelling streets was normal for me, I'm not scared of the dark, nor am I scared of what may be lurking there. Without being in control of it, I've always been quite an intimidating character to those around me, people tend to stay away from me. And that's just how I like it. Perhaps it’s my ___e/c___ eyes, they are sharp, and they do start to glow slightly when I'm angry, that's unusual I guess. My family used to ask me, 'Aren't you lonely _______?', and I'd always reply with a shake of the head, indicating a no. And that was the truth, I never got lonely, in fact, I preferred solitude, I've been alone most of my life, even when my family were around I felt as if I was alone. Being uncomfortable in large crowds was normal too, right? Well I certainly can't s
- - - -
I love you. You raised me perfectly. Please don't let this letter make you doubt that. It is because of you, that I'm the person I am today. Please keep an open mind about this, and that no matter what happens, I will always be your child. I'll simply say this right now, I'm not pregnant, I'm not on drugs and I don't drink. That's not what this is about. My hand is shaking as I write this, it's really hard for me. In all honesty, I'm terrified about what you will think, and how you will react. I'm still the same person I've always been, your only child, and nothing will ever change that. This is also not a phase, mom. I haven't made this decision based on the past couple days, the past couple weeks, or the past couple months. I've been feeling this way for well over two years now.
I hate this, mom. The feeling that I don't belong in my own body. It's like my mind is linked elsewhere. This body of mine is just a shell. I have the body of a girl, but t
while soft hands explore
for whats in store
A trail of kisses
Down the small of my back
My body reacts.
A brush of fingertips
Gently trace every outline
With love undefined
Heartbeats accelerate together
Racing at new speeds
Bodies embracing one another
A sharing of heart and soul
Making me whole
Sensuality ignited by every touch
Bonding through love and lust
An exchange of trust
Minds losing innocence
Trusting and loving the best we can
For who I am.
Embraces of more than flesh
in our romantic pantomime
this is to me
Making love for the first time
2. Go on and on about how awesome Neji is
3. Make sexual references to his hidden lotus
4. Ask if the Primary Lotus attack is just an excuse to grope people
5. Dont believe him when he denies it
6. Tell him Sakura has agreed to marry Sasuke
7. Steal his jumpsuit (note: he probably has extras in his closet, so steal those too)
8. Tie him up so he cant escape
9. Eat curry in front of him (while hes tied up)
10. Glomp him, then tell him you prefer Neji
11. Sing Gai and Lee sitting in a tree
12. Ask why he doesnt just admit his love for Gai already, since everyone else already knows
13. Lock Gai in the closet
14. Taunt Lee that hell NEVER find him
15. Play Gaara vs Lee over and over and over
16. When he mentions Gai, put your hand on his shoulder comfortingly and say He raped you, didnt he?
17. Whenever he walks into a room play Kung Fu Fighting
18. Whenever he w
my mother told me,
if she had known,
she would have never had children.
it scares me to think that,
one day i could hear a small voice saying,
“mommy, i don’t feel right.”
“you don’t look sick,”
they say, noticing that i’m not dragging around
an i.v. stand.
noticing that my sweatshirt is black
and not a white hospital gown
swinging around marbled, knocking knees.
“but i’m still unwell,” i say
in a voice that doesn’t shake
and they just look disappointed,
like i don’t fit.
like i’m the skewed painting
on the fucked-up-person wall.
“but,” they say, “don’t bipolar people
usually kill themselves?”
“but i tried,” i say
with my wrists unmarked
and they just shake their heads
almost as if to say
not hard enough.
“poor girl,” they say, looking right at me,
sitting next to my dad as he laughs too loud.
i only hope for more content, sleepless nights, (do you know how rare those are
to come by?)
after exhausted dusks and lazy dawns
scrape across the skies like
and your eyes
flash behind mine,
and memories float through the pool of my mind
like uncertain(ty,) spinning
the brush of a bird's wing on my veined wrist is aching
with youth and freedom
and this summer is so fleeting,
ethereal like my entire(ty)
being, life, soul power.
i want to be young and naive and insanely, irrationally ignited, always.
(i know it cannot last.)