White dreads do not lead to black deads, new study finds.
Tim Russet Potato
In a finding that should surprise no one who is not currently majoring in women’s studies at a liberal arts college, a study published this week at Farnsworth University shows no correlation between the number of white people wearing dreadlocks and the number of black people shot by police.
“After nearly a decade of research, we can safely conclude that there is zero correlation between Caucasian youth wearing the indigenous hairstyle of African Americans and the overall health and well-being of their African-American peers, save for the occasional eye roll,” head researcher, Abe Veous, wrote in the study's abstract.
The department responsible for the study has previously released studies showing much stronger correlations between swimming pool drownings and Nicholas Cage films, computer science doctorates and arc