is when you want to
Im not sure how old she is, but Mommy sometimes says Teenagers these days in a quiet voice, so I guess she must be very old, but not as old as Mommy or Daddy.
Elena is very sweet to me. She reads to me before bedtime, and always lets me choose the book. On picture days at school, when Mommy is too tired to get up and make me look pretty, Elena gets up and does my hair just like hers, so I feel like a big girl!
But ever since Elena spent the night at her best friends house, she has been very quiet. She isnt so sweet anymore. Elena is always looking off to the side, and her eyes arent so shiny now, she never even reads to me now, so I have to go to bed without a story, she doesnt even care when I cry.
I think that she might be sick. But Mommy says that she is going through a stage, I tried to tell Mommy that Elena was not a stage, she was a girl, but
Anyone would have noticed how the two boys' gazes lingered on the girl; she was the one that every guy wanted: beautiful, charming, genuine. A summer girl, warm and as fleeting as the sunshine. And when it was cold, her eyes snowed, little snowflakes flickering deep down inside. But it was October right now, and if you looked closely you could see the leaves in her eyes turning colours.
Never looking up at those who laugh
Pride that makes me fall will keep me shattered
There is nothing that I trust more than the Voices in my head
They never lie,
though they are rarely kind
I don't need pity
I don't need love
All I have is dark and cold,
huddled in my fear
Who needs to be happy when blood holds thrall?
Pain can fill the emptiness
Appear as often as I need
I can Vanish anytime
I can Disappear
No one can put together all my crumbled shards
Not a single tear will be captured
Sorrow drowns in ecstasy
and I wonder who I am
A/N: Just so you know, the lyrics at the beginning of the section represent Nikolai's (Male!Belarus) thoughts, and the lyrics at the end of the section represent the Reader's feelings.
Have you ever had the feeling
There must be more than what meets the eye?
Nikolai looked out the window, his breath fogging up the window. When he inhaled, the glass cleared up again. He exhaled softly and then inhaled sharply, observing the window in front of him. The tip of his knife was being gently dragged along the windowsill, as the heavy guitar riffs of the music that he liked blasted through the house.
Everything seemed normal, of course, but that was absolutely not the case. Something was troubling Nikolai, and he just couldn't...pinpoint what it was.
Yes. That was what was bothering him. Not the fact that something was bothering him, but the fact that he didn't know quite what it was.
To say that strange things were happening recentl
Imagining though, is harder than loving you.
Distance makes love stronger, so they say.
They say it increases strength, but so does it pain.
Every night I lay awake close to tears.
Close to tears I lay in wait for your arms to embrace me.
Arms that will not embrace me for an unknown amount of time.
Every muscle screams when I move, calling out for you.
I call out for you in dreams. I scream. But you cannot kiss me calm.
I wake up with nightmares of you gone forever.
The nightmare feels like reality, not having you here.
Every hug from friends feels too short.
The feelings are too short, knowing that my body wishes to be held for hours.
My body longs to be held, and I know that I have no one to hold me but you.
But you're not here.
Cold is the place that I am.
I am cold without your arms. Your lips. Your words.
We go through the usual questions and answers each time we talk, but I never say what's on my mind.
I have so many burning questions on
after Donald Justice
There because I was unsure
where else to bear my loss,
I stopped at Haizhu bridge
where many unsteady hands have given
every hope and sorrow to gravity.
And there I climbed out to wait,
bankrupt and listening to the river
cussing, the breath of the crowd
below. And the day was long
on the beams before I saw
the familiar stranger standing
hooded in his shadow
black lips, black teeth, watching
among the passers-by, his eyes
hard as bone. His blade
brushing each back that pushed
past him as traffic thickened
in the alleys of Guangzhou.
And I knew him by this his spine
unbent and the angle of his arms the air
a sudden zest of chrysanthemums.
Sir, apart from any threatening
gesture, I'd guessed the appointment
he meant to keep with me,
even as his eyes left mine
and I followed them, turning
to look over my shoulder
which is how I first caught
sight of the shoeless man
approaching in his t-shirt, his hand
Your words, encouraging.
Constantly telling me,
But am I really?
Or is it just how you see me?
So many moments,
just us two,
no one else around.
You cuddle me,
you kiss me,
you hold me.
Each moment precious.
You say you love me,
every chance you get.
But do you really?
Or is just what you think I want to hear?
How will I ever know?
I guess I'll just have to
take it on faith,
and hope you don't break me.
"Betcha can't catch the awesome me, slowpoke!" Gilbert's words infuriated you as you tried to run faster. You never were the best at P.E, but you could run fast.
"I'm going to shove a pipe down your throat!" You screamed after him. He looked over his shoulder with an amused face. That is, until you pummeled in to him with your fist joining the back of his neck.
"Give me back my bag!" Gilbert fell forward to the ground and he started to laugh again. You yelped in anger when he grabbed you by the waist and threw your bag in a nearby classroom.
"You suck!" You yelled angrily, pushing him away roughly to run after your backpack. A teacher had it in her hand and gave you a disapproving frown when you apologized.
"Missy, if this is some prank I must say that I am in no way
in the way
that keeps me awake late at night
and makes it difficult to write anything
makes me want to run away to another city because
being so breakable scares me
and when i'm with you
but still i'm unhappy
and a little unsure
when i'm away from you
it's the same
i just thought you should know
that i can't imagine life without you
but sometimes i don't want you
because i know she might always be around
that your bed isn't all that comfortable
nor is your arm
when i sleep on it
i sleep peacefully
most nights i want to say goodnight
your eyes are pretty
and so is your body
but in a different sort of way
that does things to me
and i want you
to love me all night
just this once.
tomorrow i will see you
and i will pretend
i never wrote any of this
confessed it to myself
i hope you think i am pretty
i hope you like my dress. and my hair.
i hope you love me more than her.
i could say more but this is all
The weird thing is that I look at you with an emptiness and almost a vague dislike when I see you. And in my delirious eyes, you look at me with a slight desire. But that's unthinkable. You're so way out of my league. We both know it.
The thing is that I don't even know you. But I feel like I do. And I feel as if you think so too. It's crazy. I'm crazy. I have no doubt you don't feel the same way. I don't even know how I feel.
But I know that I feel. Feelings are the blue of your eyes and the thrumming of my heart when I see you.
I feel dirty
Like you only want one thing out of me
But you don't want me at all
You crave my body
You treat me like a doll
You make me feel gross
As you rip my clothes off and "play" with me
You tease me
But you never please me
It's your own little sadistic game
That I don't want to play
But I'm afraid to tell you how I feel
Afraid of what might happen when I do
Afraid I might lose you if I do
I love your touch
I love the feeling of your skin against mine
My bare chest on top of yours
You know that I would do anything
To make you happy
Even if it tortures me
You torture me
You "jokingly" call me names
And say things that make me feel uncomfortable
Things that make me feel like you're raping me
Are you raping me?
Do you even see what you're doing to me?
How much you're hurting me?
Or do you see
And think I'm okay
Because you know I'll wait
Wait for you to come back to me
That's why you play your little games
Your foolish, conceited games
You'll push as far a
Am I so
Am I not
What do I know?
I want to know
but I don't
I think a lot
But do I think right
I'm sure we are
Would be a cute couple
But I'm so scared
I don't know
Please ask me soon
Before the year's out
Within three thousand people
Seeing each other again
Am I who you wanted to see
I’m holding on, holding it high, I’ll show you everything
Yet you still leave me, you’re leaving me
Alone without an identity
I keep coming here and waiting in this place
I’m never quite sure I’m phrasing this the right way
I’ll be as quiet as I can force myself to be
Cause the shadow dwelling in the back
It’s not me
No it isn't me
I’m not here in this galaxy
I’ll do the things that I want to do
The things I don’t, because of you
I’m not sure, and I just guess
Guess my way into a total mess
Are you leaving me
Guess you're leaving me
Alone without an identity
No way no way this isn't me
No way no way what is me
No it can’t be me
I'm not at home in your galaxy
I want to cry myself out, and on someone's shoulders. His shoulders. The shoulders on which I've been crying for the past few days now. I'm afraid I'll someday frighten him away with my being on this constant rollercoaster, but at the time being, he doesn't seem to mind. I truly appreciate his support.
I'd written a letter to him yesterday while at work, spilling out my very heart and soul. I am tempted to let it all out here, seeing as how he may not find it. I won't do it though; he knows what I feel for him.
Please don't get it twisted; I'm not desperate for affection. I've just got an overflowing goblet of emotions coursing through my very being, and I don't know how to handle it.
I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want to punch something.
I want to hide.
I want to run.
I want to be al
I've never been one for plain speaking
I'm not in denial,
I know that I love you
I hate you... leave me alone!
I love you but I've been hurt before
No matter how much I push don't go
Don't touch me
Hold me so close I can't move,
So tight I can't breathe
We'll never work out
I hope we do or I'll die inside
-But I've prepared myself for the worst
You don't love me! why do you care?
I need you to love me, I need .. reassurance ..
Read between the lines;
I used to be one for plain speaking
I'm not in denial
I know that I need you
I don't want you to save me
But I need you to
Don't fight it
I can't bear to see you angry
Take it like a man!
I can't bear to see you hurt
(You're your own enemy)
I'm not one for plain speaking
I'm not in denial!
I know that I want you
(You shouldn't have said that)
Read between the lines.
I'm not in denial;
you are night skies
speckled with stars, sprinkling the heavens
as if fallen from holes in groceries
belonging to some celestial Goddess;
splattered at random, yet as if with purpose,
forming feral patterns
unique, mysterious, and beautiful.
you are a single star,
too far away and searing to hold,
yet soothing to look at,
appearing close enough
to reach and touch and keep forever.
you're so close;
you're much too far.
Maybe I don't love you enough.
and I'm just a meteorite,
fighting the pull of gravity,
too feeble to conquer the inevitable,
and I'm already plummeting
toward the Earth at speeds higher than
the fastest falcon dreams of diving
and soon I'm drenched in the very flames
you taught me,
and in moments I will strike the ground,
and in a fog of dust and dirt,
I will be cold,
just a dull stone in an unforgiving world.