We'll start with the rose petals
scattered lavishly across the bed
A symbolic collage of my broken thoughts
like memories crushed and thrown into the winds
they lie where they fall, forever forgotten...
Tacks and nails shall line the floor!
A perfect representation of my painful steps
To walk forward was to suffer
to stand still was to endure
Like the insults thrown at me, like the physical abuse
they drive their way into my skin and remain embedded
Unable to be removed except by force
And now comes the masterpiece, the perfect finishing touch
A wall of words and photographs depicting my sorrows and greivances
The filthy shame of these long years and the pain which I've kept inside
Now I engrave it into this concrete canvas...
Let all the world know of what was done to me
even as I part from it...
For in death I swear they shall have no reprieve!
In life I wanted to be beautiful and in death I shall finally be so
For the weight of
and set out to find where the
using the moon beams through tree branches
to guide you.
you wanted to lay your head in the grass
tangle your hair in the sedge
and have music surround you from every
unmeasured inch of earth that equals the outdoors.
you wanted to press your fingers into the top soil
and bottom soil
while it was still cool and kept its fresh
you said everyone's dreams were caught
on angel hair-
[a prettier name for spider webs]
that silvery thread that floats on the wind and
sticks to your face.
i didn't believe you, but
i could see in your eyes
that you were going to be the one to find those dreams.
you were going to
[be the one to]
sail away one misty morning in a boat
just because you wanted to.
just because the world wanted to
when i held you
and when you were closest to me
i felt you getting further away. it scared me
but i knew you
[didn't belong to me]
were a wild
i'm a girl that is alone.
a storm without its wind.
just rain, quiet rain
[until you come around.]
i trace the lines on
the palms of my hands,
wondering. too often,
i tend to dream.
my heart is open,
for a short while.
but i can't seem to invite you in.
and he sings it to the kestrel who teaches the elk.
once, i fell asleep under the birch tree where the sun-
bleached elephant bones rest half submerged in dust.
i saw scattered butterfly-less wings circle the air in
a dance of ghosts, but maybe i had been dreaming.
an angel fell where they buried their children, he
promised to sleep with them in the gentle earth.
his golden hair fell into the tree roots and
became a river that wrapped around my body.
and even though i couldn't leave, i didn't want to.