Why I wanted to kill myself.
Maybe it was my desire to drink myself into oblivion
Or the craving to leave a slew of little lines all over my body.
Maybe it was the memories of you
And the terror of all the things you did to me,
My only problem for over a year,
And I couldn't get away.
At this point I have a warped perception of love.
I feel my pours clog with hatred,
As I can feel myself disintegrate into unimportance,
Never to be truly loved.
Maybe it was my awakened sleep
That couldn't protect me from the shadow
Of the darkest nights.
Demons suck my soul out through my lips,
A kiss like yours that stings in the morning.
As my eyes feel heavy from vodka,
I head to the medicine cabinet
To erase every trace of you left in me.
I dream of the music they might play,
When all are dressed in black
And tears coat caked faces.
They cry over the memory of me,
My damaged flesh meaning nothing.
We all know it never did.