In fact, my uncle (though not by blood), Francis, who's the lead actor of a Broadway play, always told me, "If you can't dream big, don't expect to make it big." Much better advice than my sourpuss brother, Arthur, could ever give me. He told me to give up and get a "more practical occupation" than Francis. Who cares?! It's my life, might as well have fun, right?
Oh right, forgot to tell you about myself. Well, I need the practice, for when I'm interviewed by reporters. Like I said before, the name's Alfred F. Jones; don't forget it! I'm thirteen and a half, tall, blonde, and handsome. While I'm at it, ladies, I'm single! I have two brothers; my older brother Arthur, the grouch, and my twin brother Mattie, who is my best friend.
When I grow up, I want to star in movies! To have my face and name known by everyone would be so awesome