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Breadth of the Riled By Colton Lahey Disclaimer: I do not claim the rights to the names or usage of the characters in this fanfiction. It’s just a satire to take the edge off during quarantine. Please don’t rape me in the butt and sue me, Nintendo. Or Zack Snyder. Or anyone else I even remotely offended. “In the vast, deep jungle of your mom’s vagina, long have I came as the guardian spirit; I am known as the Dicku Tree. The children of the jungle, as well as Tom Hanks, live here with me. But there was one boy who did not cross-dress like a fairy. And he, alone, was the biggest blue baller of them all. Still, he was tossing and turning in his bed. Having wet dreams of a dark-toned ginger dressed in drag.” Lightning split the sky wide open as the gates to a castle wall lowered a wooden bridge down to a flat, two-dimensional field below. The grinding gears could be heard from many miles of the mostly barren flat land, with a cardboard cutout of a farm in the