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Homestuck Pickup Lines :icondragons-roar:Dragons-Roar 2,782 471 Derse Dreamers Alpha: The Dirk Knight :iconlingeringsentiments:LingeringSentiments 198 36 homestuck valentines notes :iconlal0nde:lal0nde 2,940 277 homestuck agaaain :iconsxae:SXAE 3,309 90
Dirk x Reader - Roll Up
It’s about 12 o’clock in the afternoon and you’re sitting on the couch, curled up to your boyfriend, Karkat Vantas. The two of you are watching rom coms on a new flat screen that you had bought. You were excited to test it out, considering the fact that it took you months and many paychecks to obtain. You certainly enjoyed it and it seemed that Karkat did, too.
“[Name], get dressed.” Karkat says in a usual growling and demanding tone. “After this movie, we’ll go get something to eat.” You nodded and crawl out of your position to get dressed.
You head for yours and Karkat’s bedroom, where all of your clothes are kept. Karkat has few pairs of pants or shirts, so your clothes basically take up most of the storage in the room. You open the middle drawer on the dresser and grab a pair of skinny jeans. You then open the closet to grab your favorite [f/c] t-shirt.
The closet is so dark; you slightly step in to turn on the light. You kick s
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Heat Wave [Dirk x Reader]
{Part Three in the Seasons Pack}
Fiddling with the cigarette behind his ear and thinking about lighting it, Dirk lowered his feet from his desk when his buzzer went off. Clicking the answering machine, he drawled a slow, “Yes?” toward his secretary.
“The band is here.”
A sigh. And then, “Fine. Send them in.” He let his finger off the button and straightened his tie. “Ungrateful brats showing up half an hour late. Do they know how hard it is to make a record with my company?” Fiddling with the glowing crystal around his neck, Dirk blew smoke rings out of his mouth to pass the time until finally a knock came at his door.
Waving away the smoke, Dirk stood and beckoned for them to enter. The three of them entered timidly, each carrying the instrument of their choice. Crossing his arms, Dirk raised an eyebrow. “So like-”
“You three were half an hour late. Now a good friend of mine promised that you would make th
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Spring Showers [Jake x Reader]
{Part Two in the Seasons Pack}
Jake strolled down the street, adjusting the collar of his overcoat ever so slightly. It was the one thing that symbolized that he was finally in his element. Johnathan had his odd pajama type clothes, while Jake had taken the more subtle approach of a large coat that went all the way down to his knees. He missed having it with him for three seasons, but finally, it was his time.
He felt the hum and warmth of the crystal below his jacket and Jake stepped into a small alleyway. Taking a look behind him, he realized that wherever he was walking, the snow melted in his wake. “Bollocks.” Jolting when his cell phone rang, the boy answered quickly.
“Jake English here.”
What’s up Springlish?
“Oh. It’s you Dirkus. What’s up?”
It’s Dirk to you, Bunny boy.
“Bunny boy?”
Yeah you know. Fucking Peter Cottontail with a spring in his step up in here.
“Oh dear God. I
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Reach Out to Me: Dirk x Reader
Dirk Strider:
That's when a puppet pops up in front of you, and god is it creepy. You shriek and throw yourself back away from it. Instead of hitting the pavement like you expect, you land in someone's strong grip.
A boy closely resembling your classmate, Dave Strider, holds you in the crook of one arm, and that puppet in the other. The style is more spiked and anime looking, but that's a very familiar looking color of blonde hair. His shades are crazily pointed, but they still hide his eyes. Even his mouth is that same damned expressionless line.
"Are you related to Dave Strider?"
"Do you realize that this is hardly the time to ask that?"
"I-I, uh..."
"Didn't think so. I'm taking you back to your house now."
He grabs your hand and starts to drag you away. You're at first out of sorts. He pops up out of nowhere and suddenly tries to drag you around. He can't do that.
Shaking your head for clarity, you dig your feet into the path.
"W-wait a minute! What do you think you're doing?" You e
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Tutorial - Dirk Shades :iconchibiedo:ChibiEdo 1,110 110
Dirk x Jake (Make out practice?)
     Jake English was in love with his best friend. It took him two years and a wet dream to convince him of that; All the denial, the pressure on himself screaming 'You're not a homosexual! Dirk's your absolute best friend, you bloody dolt!'   Though as much as he denied it and nodded calmly to himself, each time he felt something wasn't right. It felt like he knew he was lying to himself, but at the same time, it felt as if it was the truth. Dirk was his best friend, his best bro - The one who he'd been through almost everything with. It was the night Jake layed awake, feeling the damp sheets as he stared at the ceiling, that he breathed, "I'm in love with Dirk Strider," and it felt so right. So mortifying, but right.
    So that would explain the blush that heated his cheeks as he sat on the edge of Dirk's bed, listening to his new rap in which he threw himself into, eyes closed and face lost; It used to be amusing for t
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USB [Dirk x Reader]
 It was the last day of the Spring term people were chatting, messing around, being idiots like they always are, the sun was shining and everyone was happy. Well, maybe except you.
You see, it was suppose to be the the most fun day of the Term since in most of the lessons the teachers either let you chill and watch a movie or finish of the lest lesson's work. To you though it wasn't as fun as it should be.
In the morning some random guy you exchanged few words with began pissing you off, you told him to stop but he ignored you; at some point he pushed you over your line and you ended up on Lunch detention for slapping him across the face so hard the contact with your hand made him fall onto the floor. Nevertheless you were proud of yourself because now he didn't dare to come any way near you.
And here you are walking out of the detention room and heading over to the Canteen where your friends are eating lunch. You don't have many friends maybe four or five. You have your own littl
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Homestuck pony :iconninevsnine:ninevsnine 2,267 267
Double Date
"This is fucking stupid Egbert, why do they have to come with?"
Dirk gave a shallow laugh, "I think there is a probability of twenty-five percent that this "double date" goes according to my well thought out plan"
"I think it'll be friggen blast! Lighten up Di you're always so taunt, like a string about to snap. Have fun, think of it as an adventure!"
"Yeah! Karkat, it's an adventure!" The windy boy bounced alongside his boyfriend.
"No, John, it's a fucking date. You know, because it's Valentine's Day, that absurd stupid human holiday where everyone gushes all over their Matesprits and spend ridiculous amounts of money on stupid trinkets."
"So you don't like the present I got you?"
The trolls hand flew up to the necklace around his throat, John's windy symbol was shining proudly on a silver chain, the blue charm matched the blue ring he wore on his finger, a gift from last year. "N-No, I love it John."
John laughed, "And?"
He sighed, "And the chocolate was good too, thanks."
"Did I tel
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hey!! :iconchienoir:chienoir 3,205 121
Dirk x Reader (Really really short)~ Sugoi as hell
"Come on [Name]. You promised me," Dirk called out to the bathroom door, slightly ajar. His lopsided smirk complimented his now shades-less face, his hair slightly disheveled.
"No! This makes me look...ridiculous!" retorted a meek voice from the bathroom. Dirk sighed and stood up, knocking on the wall besides the door with his smirk still firmly into place. 
"C'mon. I dressed up and acted like Johnny Depp for an entire night just for you. Now it's your turn."
He backed away from the door, crossing his arms and waiting. Finally, the door creaked open and out walked [Name], wearing an uncouthly short maid outfit, complete with hairband and stockings, the whole deal. Dirk couldn't see her face, since she was staring at the ground, but he could guess she was blushing profusely. He chuckled and took a long time to look her up and down, taking in every detail before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her.
"How do I look?" she asked timidly, leaning against him as
:iconismellgooood:ISmellGooood 243 39
Andrew Hussie Kills Everyone :iconhanari502:Hanari502 1,720 233 Trickster Alpha Kids - Homestuck :iconmostflogged:Mostflogged 3,172 249 Love Was Made for Me and You :iconjotaku:Jotaku 2,095 95 4.13.13 :iconmyetie:myetie 3,243 580 Dirk: Synchronize USB :iconuropygid:uropygid 381 59 Dirk Strider :iconpuchiko2:puchiko2 1,863 162
Jacket [Dirk x Reader]
“Uh. Hey Dirk?”
“Sup, Dave?”
“The fuck are you wearing?”
“These, my dear twin, are called clothes. I’m simply sitting here, idly reading my book, and you are insisting on intruding in my space.”
“I’m not talking about your clothes fucktard! I’m talking about your jacket!”
“Oh this? I make one cute bear don’t I?”
“You’ve got to be hot as hell in that.”
“Yeah, perhaps so.”
“So? Take it off.”
“Why not?”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t want to have to explain to mom about how you died of heatstroke because you wouldn’t take that stupid ass jacket off!”
“Then just say I died of erotic asphyxiation.”
“Too far?”
“Just a bit yeah. Take the jacket off!”
“Get the fuck off me!”
“Dirk, I’m serious! There is nothing ironic
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You Know Nothing About Kids { Dirk X Reader}
"Nothing happening, again" you complained while spinning in circles in your desk chair.
Nothing exiting ever happen to you, but that was about to change. You continued to spin when suddenly your cell phone began to ring.
You picked up the device and answered only to her the voice of your best friend secret crush, Dirk Strider.
"Hey. yo what's up __?" you hear him say through the phone.
"Nothing really." you start to reply shyly "how about you?"
"Everything is alright" he stops for a moment. You can hear what sounds like a baby's screaming in the backround.
"Are you sure everything is alright?" you ask.
"Yeah I'm pretty sure",you hear more yelling in the background, "Dave just won't shut up!"
 "Wait who's Dave?" you ask curiously.
"Oh the kids my little bro."
Your jaw dropped. Dirk never said anything about a brother let alone a younger one.
You absoultly adored little kids. Your mother was never around much when you were younger but you loved to give the attention you
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Homestuck - The Land of Tombs and Krypton :iconlindzar:Lindzar 896 26
Dirk x Reader: Always Here to say I Love You
182 times he had whispered those words in your ear before he got too caught up in the music.
182 times he had told you he loved you.
You had always felt lonely and neglected when you were younger, until Dirk came along and made you feel better. You were so happy when he asked you to be his girlfriend, and immediately responded with a 'Yes!'. You two were in a happy, loving relationship for a while after that. The music-lover was quite popular on the internet, with a good amount of fans. All of them knew the happy girl who loved him with all of her heart.
But lately, Dirk had been seeming rather distant. No longer was he there to hold you and comfort you when the painful pangs of loneliness hit once again. Hugs and kisses that had once been frequent had faded, and you could barely remember the last time you and your lover had any sort of contact. The most you saw of him now was looking down at him from the loft bedroom of your apartment, his silhouette dark against the light of the
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alpha beta sadstuck etcetera :iconcheppoly:Cheppoly 1,905 119
Dirk x Reader - Epic Sax Guy
You finished fixing your [h/c] locks in the mirror, making sure you looked okay. You had on your favorite sparkly [f/c] dress and heels to match. You didn’t exactly want to look nice, but you had to. You promised Jane, Roxy, and Jake that you would look your best for the concert. The only reason you were going is because you wanted to meet their best friend who they talked about so much and loved so dearly. You just wanted to see if all the things they had said were true.
Jane burst into the bathroom. “C’mon [Name], it’s almost time to go! Don’t make me get Jake to come and drag you to the car.” Jane wasn’t one for being late. You sighed, set your brush on the bathroom counter, and walked out with your friend.
The two of you walked to the car and each jumped in the backseat. Jake was driving and Roxy was sitting on the passenger’s side in the front.
“Oh, I’m so excited to see Dirk!” Jane grinned. “Sorry for rushing
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Dirk x Reader - We're Just Like Them
You examined yourself in the mirror; your were dressed in a black bra covered with red flames, extremely short leather shorts, pink knee socks, white boots, a nice striped scarf, and to top it all off, a beautiful red wig with a skull attached and a ponytail that went down to about your lower back. Slung over your back was a sniper rifle. You were Yoko Littner.
Of course, you weren’t really Yoko, but you liked to think that you showed a resemblance to her in your cosplay. It had taken you almost five months to complete, and today was the day you would finally get to show it off - today you were heading for Animecon.
When you decided you were going to Animecon, you didn’t even think of being Yoko. However, your buddy had convinced you to do a “couple cosplay” with him. Your buddy was Dirk Strider. You’d known him for quite a few years, meeting him at your first visit to Animecon and whatnot. Dirk turned out to be a pretty cool dude, and though you only saw
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Rainbow Dash and Dirk Strider :icontimeless-knight:Timeless-Knight 1,721 210 Homestuck Planets :iconlambentworld:Lambentworld 282 9 Dirk Strider - Thinking :iconxantimiko:XantiMiko 440 82 Come here English :iconlindzar:Lindzar 1,316 80 Homestuck - Derse Dreamer :iconlindzar:Lindzar 412 11
sadstuck: wahts it to u?
"And finally... an olive. Hehe." Drink complete, Lalonde sat at her computer, and took a delicate sip of her concoction. Stared at her screen. ...and frowned. Opening a pester window, she began talking to Jane.
- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] -
TG: ehy jaaane
TG: *ehy
TG: fcuk *HEY
GG: Hoo hoo, hello Lalonde! :B At it already, I see?
TG: yeah booooi. u know i totes gotta get my drikn on p early to get anythign done. hows my wodnerful baking lady tonight
GG: Still trying to find that dang bunny! L'il Seb is proving to be quite a bother!
TG: well youll fidn him. ur good at that
GG: Hoo hoo! I sure hope so. I'd like to find him before my dad does, at least! :B
TG: how is that big sexy man doign anyway
GG: Oh, Lalonde! You hush. He's still being the ever-diligent prison guard. He's got this house locked up tighter than a tub of new frosting!
TG: mmmmmmmmmmmmmm funfetit i hope
GG: More like un-funfetti! Hoo hoo!
Sip, sip.
TG: yeha well i dotn kno
TG: j
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Dave x Reader x Dirk - Endings and Beginnings
It was really happening.
Rain was pouring.
Winds were roaring.
Tremors were rumbling underneath the feet of running pedestrians.
The world was falling apart.
You were running around, trying to find your friends. The only two people that you could count on a situation; the Striders. You knew that their house was close... at least you thought it was. You couldn’t really tell, what with rubble flying everywhere. You wanted to find them. You needed to find them.
Suddenly, someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a hug. You struggled to lift your head, but you were able to see that it was Dirk Strider who had found you. You quickly hugged him back as rain poured over the two of you.
“It’s the end of the world, not a hug fest,” You heard someone say, immediately recognizing the voice as Dave’s. You pulled away from Dirk and gave Dave a hug as well. You were so grateful that they had found you in all of the commotion.
“What do we do?” You asked.
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Fancy Dreamers - Homestuck :iconmostflogged:Mostflogged 352 9 Dirk: Replay 1 :iconcheppoly:Cheppoly 2,023 215 Dirk Strider Dave sprite Lil cal :iconkanda3egle:Kanda3egle 2,586 157
Far Away [Dirk x Reader]
{Sequel to
      Let Her Go}

\\This time, This place. Misused, Mistakes. Too long, Too late. Who was I to make you wait?\\
Sitting in her dorm room, [Name] hummed to herself as she dialed up Jade's number. She had missed their weekly talks, but ever since she had begun dating Sollux, most of her time had been eaten up between him, her part-time job, and school.
Oh! [Name]! It's really good to hear from you!
"Likewise! So what's new?"
Nothing is ever new around here, you know that. Oh, did you happen to have a long chat with Dirk when he came up to visit?
Someone knocked on her dorm room door and opened it up, sticking their head in. "Babe?"
[Name] waved Sollux in, but continued her conversation with Jade. "Now, what were you saying?"
Yeah, it was about a couple weeks ago or something! Dirk had told us all he was going to go up to visit you. I assumed you guys chatted a long time since he hasn't talked to yo
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Dirk: Replay 2 :iconcheppoly:Cheppoly 1,691 488 Homestuck - God Tier :iconelliotcosplay:ElliotCosplay 261 21 Dirk: Prepare to Strife :iconlindzar:Lindzar 1,591 106 Eridan Ampora cosplay - Exellent! :icondead-batter:Dead-Batter 324 47 God Tier Alpha Kids - Homestuck :iconmostflogged:Mostflogged 385 37 Dirk Strider :iconlindzar:Lindzar 2,035 139 Matryoshka-stuck : ALPHA MODE Sprites :iconprincelupin:princelupin 618 44 Trollstuck :iconrolling-mozaik:Rolling-Mozaik 1,159 99
Clubbing - Dirk x Reader
    Bass and shouting filled your ears before you even set foot in the club. You were led in by your friends, whom had been so excited to bring you out with them to the new place, no matter how much you insisted on a movie night. The fact of the matter is that you didn't want to be there, and for quite a few reasons.
    Not only was the club filled with people from your school, but the guy you'd been staring at in the three of your six classes you shared with him was there as well. Hell, he was there every damned night of the week with all of the other rather popular people from your school.
    Another reason you didn't want to be out an about: your attire. Normally, jeans and a T-shirt would suffice as your wardrobe. Not tonight, though, because your friends practically made you their dress-up doll. They had put quite a bit of makeup on you and exchanged those jeans and t-shirt of yours for a dress. Now, you couldn't exactly say the dress wasn't
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Lil' Seb Dunny :iconsparr0:sparr0 499 71