Living With The PainMore Like This
You told me you would hurt me,
I honestly told you no.
I said it couldn't happen,
but now it's turned out to be so.
Still I am confused,
why was it like this?
I thought it would last forever,
but that ignorant bliss.
You still fuck with my feelings
and I try to act okay,
but the hurt is deep inside
and will not easily go away.
I wonder what I did wrong,
what made you be so distant.
But then I realized
I should not have been as persistent.
You sit and tell me now
how sorry that you are.
I try to take it seriously,
but I know that I will scar.
Again I sit here crying,
wishing this would end.
Feeling all this pain,
hoping it will mend.
I try to shove it off
as if it were not there.
But you keep reminding me
and I fall back to despair.
I don't know what to feel,
as always i'm at a loss.
I wish apathy would come,
maybe I wouldn't be as cross.
I wonder how long it will take
for things to return
to how they used to be
when I lacked almost all concern.
The tears for now stopped falling,
Ask MeI've turned into thisMore Like This
Bit-lip, chipped-hip girl with a
In her chest, something that spins
To my every
Now it's six, now it's
One hand and one finger past noon and
Where am I?
In a parked car, listening to a parked life as she
Spills herself to me in sentences written on
Torn notebook paper, each one
- each collection of words -
A different view on the same person
I'm caught in a hailstorm of
As she retells her story
Same as the last three-sixty-five
And the one before that
(Sans the notebook paper)
The sky is too wide for me, swirls of gray oil paints on some
[except for that strip of luxury sedan blue,
straight-as-you-please across the windshield]
So I keep my hands on the dashboard, the doors to this
Are locked, and so'm I
In the end, they all ask me what I think, and
I can't ever tell the truth
Or this frayed whatever-you-call-it
Gets the curb corner rub-off until it