google, define: californiacalifornia, as defined:More Like This
in the traffic lights and stop signs
i forget to break for
in the memorization of her hair and feet
when you can't look her in the eye
in the breaking apart of the tectonic plates
mirroring your personal earthquakes
in the ink of the pen-
in the lazy laundry sundays
that watch her leave
in the contradictions that outline the lie
california is an urban myth.
leave my heart out of this.so i recycle the past, compost your coffeeMore Like This
grinds and wear your work shirts to bed.
i try not to notice the lines of dirt
on the backs of my hands, the spindly
crimson streams in the whites of my eyes.
so i imagine electric fences beneath
my temples, surging lightning breakdowns
in every synapse. seconds cannot split
fast enough, i pull away before
neurons start to translate pain.
so i reinvent the sting every other
breath, i redesign my grimace for a
studio audience, i rethread needles with
camels inside. so i understand
biology but only in theory.
so i deconstruct the wheel, lovingly carve
the d from all our verbs and i stop
trying to love the whole world. i bake
pumpkin seeds and remind myself that my
heart is just a misshapen muscle.