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I'm still having nightmares about myself.
I've made wishes on poetry and torn apart bad books to re-write them,
Stolen candy from a baby and said F- words to strangers.
Forever, Finally and Free.
But I lied, because every time I'm finally sure I don't love you anymore I hear a song that was written about the two of us and I'm back in the state of forever, and the bathwater turns cold around me, and I remember that you'll never love me as much as I love you and F- word.
I plan to erase you from my memory,
(Like that scene in eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.)
I Made my own machine out of old letters you'd written to me, a blue box and silver light bulbs, and paper hearts. I curled myself In that brown chair we used to laugh at, and fell asleep.
You've always had stars in your eyes, you'd bite your lip and blink and they'd flow in a spiral around your fingertips.
You are So special.
You decided we didn't b
candesencethe text read:
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I can't wait 2 c u
2nite. where tat
sexy red thing b4,
rmemer? luv u debbie.
Candace felt ashamed, embarrassed,
angry, the sucker in her repeat scene
of the same scene, different actors.
without second thought, left tiny
apartment before he'd come home,
left message open on old Nokia
sitting on desk he'd toss keys on,
out to city delirious night life,
bar hopping, hopping, finding it
pointless, no lily pad safe from memories.
she woke, groggy, mouth
tasting of liquor, spread sans clothes
in some guy's pad the next
morning, couldn't remember anything,
didn't care, didn't realize the tear
discharge still keeping up even then.
hands in face pushed faster flash-backward
recall, was the same repeat play over and
over again, same bad Shakespeare
production, and she was always on the
front bill, the audience fit and ready, loving
the drama; the people love the drama and
mishaps of failure.
you whore! walk out that do