my goodbye.i used to see your face when i closed my eyes.More Like This
sometimes, i saw you in the faces of others, too. a glance or a smile. a few flickering seconds, and i was reminded of you, and it was like you'd never left. never turned cold and left on a journey meant only for you.
dad said you used to smell like hopes and dreams, but i guess they broke. grandmother says you smelled of self-hatred and i wish i didn't understand. she says she saw this coming, she saw this coming, and i wonder why she didn't stop it.
and then i think, well, maybe she couldn't.
i don't have many memories of you. this makes me sad. dad tells stories about when you were little, and i forget those, too. mostly i just remember you as cigarette ashes and alcohol bottles, and i'm sorry. i'm sorry i remember you that way. i'm sorry.
i'm not very good at remembering people.
i'm not very good at seeing the best in people, either.
sometimes, i wonder if you miss us. i know they miss you, even if they're busy throwing curses at each
DaysThere were days when I got lost behind the moons eyes, the suns smiles, and the clouds tears.More Like This
Days where the wind crept up from behind and whipped my hair around my neck suffocating me.
There were days when I got lost within the days light and the nights dark.
The stars were painted black like my heart disappearing, blending into nothingness.
There were days I drowned in the waters depths, and lived inside concrete walls.
Meshing together light and dark; becoming one.
There were days my body was weak from fighting, my mind strong from cartwheel thoughts racing.
My mind running a marathon as my body falls to pieces becoming dust that gets whipped away by the same winds that suffocated me.