| Deviant Login | Shop | Join deviantART for FREE  |
Take the Tour  |
The ViolinistThe melody of my heart has once againMore Like This
died down to a slow melancholy of a violin.
I don't know how it happens.
But that violinist shows up and preforms
his song.
A slow haunting melody that only I can hear.
Quick!
Drown it out with the melody of other hearts!
But alas I am alone.
A single audience member to a sad violinist.
How his song moves me to tears.
Tears that I cannot shed.
Tears my body is unwilling to shed.
Which makes the violinist continue his sad song.
Only this time a deeper more chilling melody is heard.
I curl into myself blowing out the single candle,
and everything goes black.
Silence is now all that I hear.
Skeleton Sword UserA life was livedMore Like This
A life was stolen
Betrayal runs deep.
Darkness. Still and sweet darkness.
There was no past. There was no present. Future? Perhaps.
The coppery taste of blood. Whose did not matter.
Life goes on, it grows on.
Time passes.
The earth feeds.
A skeletal hand plunges through layers of soil the arm is soon to follow.
Dirt tearing nails from dangling flesh, flesh falling soon after.
The abrasive soil claiming what is hers to keep. Sharing in kind.
Years pass.
Seasons change.
The slow path to immortality.
Lo stands a figure, sans the man.
Life in death entwined.
Time passes. Life goes on. If not the life of the ma
BrokenBROKENMore Like This
There’s a storm that rages in your eyes
It rages all the time
Your lips remain silent
Until they rest on mine
When you hold me in your arms
You tell a thousand tales
Ne’er a word is spoken
But the message never fails
I feel the love, the hurt, the pain
Flowing through my very soul
All I can do is ease the ache
But I can never make you whole.
Insomnia-A dark nursery rhymeMore Like This
Insomnia:
twinkle twinkle
little pain
I see you've come
to play again
lodged here in my soul so tight
turning brightness into night
twinkle twinkle
tearing ache
please let me sleep
to never wake….
…now I lay me down to sleep
my life in tatters at my feet..
if I should Wake before I die
I pray these tattered wings can fly..
twinkle twinkle
empathic strain
I never want to feel again
trapped here in this world so cold
where self is wrong
and Us is gold.
twinkle twinkle
falling tear..
how i wonder why i'm here..
My Tears of SorrowThis world doesn't want meMore Like This
No one even notices me
I'm sitting down
I get out my sketchbook
Do you wonder why I draw so much
Its to escape my feelings
Let my mind go blank
Let the world stop spinning
And give me a break
But as the bell rings for my next class
I come crashing back
Down back into reality
Were all my fears are real
As I walk down the hallway
Acting as if I don't care
Can you see the pain in my eyes
As I look into yours
But its only for a breif minute
And I continue on my way
By the end of the day
When I'm home
I go straight to the computer
My Sanctuary
I start to read
And enter a new world
Were I'm free
your poetry is horribleMore Like This
i am irrepressible teenage angst.
here is my bitchy poem.
whine.
moan.
woe is me.
(insert typo here)
i can use
drastic S P A C I N G
to make my point
(insert computer shorthand here)
my girlfriend just dumped me.
whine.
perhaps i can
write at length about
s u i c i d e
(insert trite phrase about loneliness)
because i am ohsotouchy
sob.
so, to all you
heartbroken
struggling
adolescents out there
shut
the
fuck
up
your poetry is horrible.
pain does not always equal great art.
now, go write something worth while.
Moaning CavernsHeavy-headed flowers bend as bowsMore Like This
to contemplate her depthless air:
Her belly. Her bats, the boys,
hang blind as stars, blood pooling
in their apricot heads, their heavy ears.
Sun splashes in through her open eyes
but it doesn't take-
And who will know her neighbors?
Secret as unstruck light, they are quiet like dandelions
as they hump their backs against shivering feet.
They crack and groan but cannot sing
in resistance to the jocund wind
won't scream against the thunderstorm.
If envy would live green in a nothing eye,
she would shriek it against this thunder
for her smothered brethren
as her lips, her crags are torn,
deliv
DextromethorphanMore Like This
Dex
It has been three days, and still I cannot bear to change it.
The water is turning a queer jaundice, and the fishy corpse
is bobbing like an upside-down moon in that thumb-hazed sky.
I threw food in the first day, before I noticed the stillness
of the red-finned thing, which I bought at Petco in a bag of plastic glass.
I put him in the blender with the blades taken out, and named him
nothing, genderless queer little floater. He ate bloodworms, and I
kept a log for awhile, to mark the days. I was supposed to get a plant
first, but their creeping vines and lack of eyes gave me the horrors. A cactus.
The bloodworms are still flo
himBefore I lose my life in this town, I'm looking for a pebbleMore Like This
that smells like anything - the ocean, soil, you - that shit.
Symptoms include an obsession with clocks and a dismissive anything
towards her, the bleak old buzzard who watches with gauze-eyed cataracts
as we walk by, - -we- menacing in white sneakers and suntan lotion - - she -
has been so long above it all that there is no longer any difference between the declaration of independence
and a newspaper article that goes:
Everything was terrible and the people died,
but really she was just having a bad dream.
Really she's okay.
And it was all just make-believe,
and you fe
you can't make them love you.He is beautiful, new, unexplored. He has wanted to kiss her ever since they met one week ago and fell prey to helpless chemistry.More Like This
“Don’t,” she says, moving her hands in a subconscious “yes” pattern along his arm as he rubs his cheek against hers. “You don’t even know my favourite colour.” The wind cuts through her thin jacket, and his chest is so warm.
“Red,” he guesses, improbably correct. His ears are cold.
“And h
Love itI feel your hands in my hair.More Like This
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.
I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.
I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love
Is It Love?If I hugged you,More Like This
would you never let go?
If I kissed you,
would you cherish that moment?
If I reached for your hand,
would you take mine gently?
If I needed a shoulder,
would you let me cry on yours?
If I needed to talk,
would you really listen?
If I needed to scream,
would you do it with me?
If I needed to go,
would you come with me?
If I fell for you,
would you catch me?
or just let me hit the pavement?
never grow up.I have a monster living underneath my bed.More Like This
He’s made up of burnt frog skin, white-red cobweb veined eyes and a collection of missing pebble teeth. Sometimes we play scrabble.
(The first time he was just a mechanical hum beneath the bowing wooden planks, he was just a faint smell of green and he was just a hot cloud of fog around my lips. It’s the wind, it’s the wind, I breathed. Then he breathed back, heavy and loud and monster-like; AM NOT.)
He always spoke in capitals; MONSTERS ARE MUCH TOO SCARY FOR LOWER-CASED LETTERS, he informed me one night under pink covers. I shined the flashlight into his eyes until they changed co
Love Poem..More Like This
last night I made a man
out of pillows and forgotten
fragments of clothes
we'd pushed into my drawers.
I held my pillow-man's hand
and made sure he wasn't too warm
because it is summer;
I'm on the second floor;
and that was always your
biggest complaint.
this morning I tried to shower
but would turn off the water and run
like a soapy dog, complete with
loyal tail wagging, to the door
thinking you'd come knocking.
You hadn't.
tomorrow will taste like
the food of a week ago
and I'll wear sunglasses,
which, if you know me,
(and you do)
will seem out of context
and like a little girl
playing dress up.
I know there are
Fallen AngelMore Like This
Fallen Angel
Crawling in my forlorn appearance
I hide my soul behind these tattered wings
Tattered and broken as they are
Plucked of light, stained in tears and blood.
In quiet despair upon the cold earth
Smeared in dirt I crouch upon my weary knees
And clutched timidly between my fingers
Rests one last jewel of Hope.
A single unblemished plume plucked
From the silver light of dawn
A feathered ray of light from beyond
To illuminate the void that has me bound.
This precious barb of silk
Once lost as I was and forgotten
Blazes now to immerse me in radiant bliss
To wash away the pain, draw me from the abyss.
So now I fade away…
IdolYou walk by without touching the ground,More Like This
Feet flutter upon angelic sound,
Golden hair flowing in warming breeze,
Drop those around you to their knees
Heart is pounding, ears ring too,
All I want is to be near you.
Gingerly I walk near,
Angelic voice is all I hear.
Lift my spirit, raise my heart,
Never now will we be apart.
Bond with you, and you with I,
Never leave until we die.
But all that rises must hence fall,
And all that walks must surely crawl,
And to my knees I am brought,
Upon cold ground my life is wrought.
To the pavement my hands latched,
Scream as bonds become dispatched,
Spirit heart still flutter high,
But on
hush little baby...Hush little babyMore Like This
Hush little baby don't you cry,
Daddy's gunna sing you a lullaby,
Of screams that echo down the hall,
And bottles that shatter upon the wall.
And as you cry and scream some more,
I scream at your mommy and call her a whore,
Scream and shout that I hate you,
For screaming and crying is all that you do.
I'd rock you to sleep but I can't sing,
So I will shout till your ears ring,
I scream and I tell you that you're useless,
And all your crying has proved this.
You cry and you shout and you run away,
I smile and think that it's ok,
Because I prefer when your not there,
For deep down daddy doesn't care.
And as you
CancerCancerMore Like This
Dwelling in my heart you sleep,
In a slumber o so deep,
Cannot wake you though I try,
As I shake you, scream and cry
As you lie inside of me,
You unfold my destiny
Slowly wake at your own pace,
Growing in that darkest place,
Questioning just what you are,
You cannot hear; I fell too far.
Imbedded now you start to grow,
And so undoing all I know.
As you grow you start to spread,
Creating pictures in my head,
Of what you are and how you came,
Lying there you are to blame.
Deceitful names and false beliefs,
Shatter hearts like autumn leaves.
And as you grow infecting more,
I see you as a wretched whore,
Deceitful hate
The Little Girl BlinkedThe little girl blinked and he was goneMore Like This
Unsure if he was ever really there
But she knew that something had inspired her
To do things she wouldn’t normally dare
A teardrop too many he once told her
Had brought him from the shadows of her mind
As those around her began to wander
Across her imagination's fine line
But now he seemed to have walked away
As she found the life she had long sought
He slowly drifted back to the shadows
From her notebook and her beautiful thoughts
And the fools around her carried the spades
Burying him with her imagination
With an epitaph etched on a tombstone
‘Here lies my potential for creation’
What Lovers DoWhen I was lost you found meMore Like This
So now you’re lost let me find you
Fall into my arms sweetheart
No questions, it’s what lovers do
Cradled in my arms tonight
Till the morning after ensues
Maybe then you can see things
From a different point of view
We can sit here all night babe
I’m no saint to offer guidance
Just some whispered words of love
I’ll be here when you break your silence
There is no doctrine of life
But only second hand wisdom
Each person is their own jailor
And inmate begging for freedom
Some of those are there by choice
Others will just misplace the key
You are indeed the latter
But please know you can re
Repulsive By DesignLet me tell you this my friendMore Like This
And I will tell you no more
If my passion is your crime
Then your love should be my law
I’m the exception to the rule
And the end of this blood line
I should hang my head in shame
I am repulsive by design
Allow me to elucidate
And I will tell you no lie
I am charged with being charmless
And I have no alibi
Feloniously you broke my heart
One chamber at a time
Though I’d expect nothing less
I am repulsive by design
Beware of the broken hearted
Indeed consider with caution
Repulsion cleansed my sorry soul
Such a spiritual abortion
But when a full term of sorrow
And low self esteem combine
I still r
Take Another PillWhen I was just a childMore Like This
About twenty years back
I never would have thought
I would turn out like that
Or indeed like this
If I speak in the present tense
I guess I’m tense in the present
If that makes any sense
When I was at the mercy
Of the medical profession
They told me I was suffering
With clinical depression
And tapestries woven this tight
Into such an infant mind
Would be difficult to unspool
Unthread and leave behind
When I was just a boy
Around ten or so years back
I fell into a deep hole
But it felt more like a trap
I couldn’t get out of there
In fact I’m stuck here still
And all anyone can do
Is to prescribe anot
Only When I WriteThe drama unfurling in my lifeMore Like This
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write
Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write
You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a t
Dead at 16My worries are a reservoirMore Like This
Her worries are a lake
In that they’re very real indeed
Whereas mine are very fake
Invented to seek attention
Lies, oh despicable lies
One day I’ll drown in metaphors
Please be sure to sympathise
But while you show me this concern
Who'll be looking out for her
Blood curdling screams from my mouth
She is nil by mouth and verse
I have cried wolf so many times
She can’t even cry her own tears
My lies are spun in silk cobwebs
My spinneret shrouding your ears
I spoon fed you daily doses
So it was easier to digest
I planted those seeds of sorrow
Your fertile mind did the rest
Lies, all those despica
Letters LiveThe middle three letters of the word “Earth”More Like This
Spell out the word “art”
This is fitting because when I create
The beauty of the world is where I start
The middle three letters of the word “believe”
Spell out the word “lie”
This is fitting because for all those who accede
There are an equal amount who deny
The middle three letters of the word “lonely”
Spell out the word “one”
This is fitting because I have felt isolated
Ever since you have been gone
The middle two letters of the word “life”
Spell out the word “if”
This is fitting because only when
Crossed The Line"Crossed The Line"More Like This
She told him "no" many instances before
At first he listened, but not this time
Her words were sounds that he ignored
Because finally, he crossed the line
At first it seemed like every date
He was sweet and kind, holding doors
But even still at any rate
She found herself screaming on the bedroom floor
Because he heard, but didn't listen
Only hearing what he wanted to hear
And by pure hormones he was driven
While her pleas fell on deaf's ears
At first it started out innocent
Holding hands, kissing, locking lips
But soon it was no longer ambivalent
Once his hands swayed around her hips
He tried crawling them
Darkest Nights"Darkest Nights"More Like This
I'm looking out the window
Through the blinds and the shades
Waiting patiently for your return
But you won't be coming home today
Meanwhile these shadows
Continue haunting me
They've tried to snatch my soul
And bury it in the deep
Because the sun has gone down
This room has grown black
But it seems darker than normal
I want the light to come back
In fact this room is so dark
My body is starting to tremble
The shadows are reaching out
My nerves may disassemble
The absence of light
Enhances the echos of sound
I'm finding strength in silence
As I sink into the ground
So instead I close my eyes
Pretending I'm not here
Or r
CELEBRATION of GAY PRIDEMore Like This
CELEBRATION of GAY PRIDE - An Older Gay Man's Perspective
Straight people keep asking, "Why do 'you' people need GAY PRIDE when there is no need for STRAIGHT PRIDE?" This is my answer:
Straight people do not need to be proud of being straight, because they do not need to overcome and survive vilification, hatred, bigotry, discrimination and suppression, for being straight. Sexual Minorities deserve great pride and respect for overcoming all of that, and more.I call this a "Celebration of Gay Pride" because it is a celebration of my journey to self-acceptance and pride-of-self. I was 13, an Altar Boy wanting to be a Priest, when o
Insomnia-A dark nursery rhymeMore Like This
Insomnia:
twinkle twinkle
little pain
I see you've come
to play again
lodged here in my soul so tight
turning brightness into night
twinkle twinkle
tearing ache
please let me sleep
to never wake….
…now I lay me down to sleep
my life in tatters at my feet..
if I should Wake before I die
I pray these tattered wings can fly..
twinkle twinkle
empathic strain
I never want to feel again
trapped here in this world so cold
where self is wrong
and Us is gold.
twinkle twinkle
falling tear..
how i wonder why i'm here..
Affect.Do you knowMore Like This
How much your words
Affect me
One wrong word
And you could break me
Hurt me
Kill me
I know
I should be stronger
Not listen as much
But what else
Am I to do
With my open mind
And broken heart
LatelyLately, I’m burning outside my window. Why not today? Double-sided people fully encircle me in opium psychosis excising the ether with samurai slices and white lotus flowers. Drifting in darkness and swimming in shadow I cruise the gutters seeking my selfish desires. Anything, to quench this insatiable thirst; anything to end this misery.More Like This
I’m the priest inside your head. Fall to your knees from your traitor’s chair. Praise the end; damn the beginning.
I’m just another ray from the sun flashing through space as quick as I please with angelic grace and beautiful blood-shot eyes. The pages turn and something other t
His Dark Eyes.His dark eyes promised me everything,More Like This
During that night of magic.
They sparkled endlessly,
Casting a spell upon me; I was enchanted.
The first kiss made my knees weak,
Made me loose my heart so quickly,
Sparks flew as high as the sky..
His dark eyes promised me everything,
That night where he wanted more.
"I love you", he told me,
"Isn't that enough?".
So my innocence was taken,
Flew far, far away,
How I wish I could have it all back...
But his dark eyes promised me everything,
During that moment it turned positive.
He said he'd support the three of us,
A job he would find,
Happy we would be.
At 15, there was nothing more I
Quantam Mechanics of LoveI fell asleep waiting forMore Like This
you to call back. You never did
needless to say. And I guess I
really can't blame you.
In another parallel universe, we're
happily together, perfect and
flowing with joy and love. Or,
we've already lost everything
between us, and have completely
moved on. Maybe we never got
started.
But the laws of quantam mechanics
don't do anything to ease the
pain of what I'm feeling in
this plane, right now. Maybe in
another universe we're happy,
but I'm more focused on this
one,
And all I wanted was you. So what
equation must I formulate in order
to figure out a wormhole that'll
transcend dark matter and
i'm sorry.i am sorry if i am not what you expected.More Like This
i am sorry if i am not slender or cunning or sticking to the schedule or falling into the precision of appointments and the rules of poetry. i am sorry if i am wringing my fingers dry and running out of paper and bleeding ink through my eyelids. i am sorry if i am butchering words and stitching their bleeding pieces into something i can lie and call beautiful. i am sorry that i can’t stick to your grammar, your syntax, your expectations, your rules. i am sorry, i tried.
i can’t help that i am running barefoot through the grocery store because i forgot my shoes or that i am driving through
i'm the girl.you want to know who i am?More Like This
i am the girl falling asleep headfirst on top of the covers to the clackclackclacking of the rain against the windowpane. i am dreaming in tarnished poetry and rotting hopes, birdbone-wrists locking together, fingers plucking the strings along guitar-ribs. i am loving myself even as i pull apart wishbone-veins, stringing myself out across the carpet to pick out the parts i like best.
and i am the girl wandering the aisles of the book store. i am curling in corners with hemmingway, touching the pages like a lover, smelling the ink because i’m the girl who thinks books smell like faith. i’m tucking myself
we're breaking fate.i'm crying but there are no tears; i'm laughing but there is no sound.More Like This
music is playing but i can't cage the beat. i'm just sitting in the middle of a wind storm and counting the seconds to sleep. counting the seconds until i fly. counting the seconds until i can see your face again. because your mouth is like whiskey and i'm always under the influence whenever you're around. ohoh, if i had the words, i'd give them all to you in a beat of my stuttering heart. because you always know that everything i want is everything you have and everything i have is already yours.
i can't keep myself from you. i can't keep myself from the flames but i'm
HAMWYMAC pt1Heroes Are Made When You Make A ChoiceMore Like This
There is a girl. You don't usually notice her.
There is a boy. You always make fun of him.
But aren't they both worth the time? Aren't they both worth the effort to get to know, before you judge? One day, you awake, you get dressed, put on your makeup, make sure everything is just so, and you head to school. You get onto the bus and loudly complain that there are no empty seats, just as you pass her. She's sitting alone and no one's next to her. There's an empty seat right there. She doesn't bother looking up, she used to, but there's no point anymore. If you were to look carefully, or look at all and
SpaceMore Like This
The orbiter had touched down at Vandenberg, and Lewis and a dozen others had flown cargo the thirty minutes to San Francisco airport. They trudged in from the tarmac in loose formation out of habit, unprepared for the crowds in the terminal.
The debriefing team had talked about friction, that the religious right had taken offense to their involvement in the colony war.
There was an awkward moment when the soldiers met the seething mass of people, unsure if there would be familiar faces, confused by the angry looks and rumbled undercurrent of discontent.
“Murderers,” a lone voice lit the fuse, causing the crowd to erupt into a cac
Writing is My SoulFailure is never an optionMore Like This
and I never once considered
what it would be like
to not make it.
Pushing back thoughts of
what it would be like
to not achieve my dream,
to not have my words read
universally,
emotions felt through generations
and nationalities, transcending
boarders and barriers,
all from the small font of a
book.
I refuse to cave in
to the amount of pressure
I put on myself.
I may not say I'm the greatest
or express it in any way
but I feel no matter what
I'll live up to the standards.
Elevating myself to higher
peaks on a daily basis I
directed myself onto a path
set for stardom,
where fame comes not fro
Hate Me... Please~~Hate Me... Please~~More Like This
I want to scream at you
Even though you didn't do anything
I want to sew your lips together
when you happily smile at me
I want to kick you down
After you've picked me up
I want to shut your eyes forever
So I don't have to see them glint with hope
I want to make you cry
When you dry up all my tears
I want to tell you that I hate you... but I can't
Because you love me and you would die if I left
So the thing I want most in the world
Is for you to hate me
Maybe then I wouldn't feel so bad
Freedom comeThere was a girl who lived in a placeMore Like This
In a land meant to be free
She lived not in a house that was fair
But in places of despair
And in her life there was one thing
The fear and hatred for everything
Her life was ruled by shadows
And nothing gave there gave light
And yet she shined beyond compare
In the darkness of the night
She lived in fear of what was there
Yet she had the courage to face despair
And conquer evils blight
She freed the slave of the shadows and dark
And lived in a country of peace
Yet the time would come when she would leave
Her destiny was complete
Her fate was sealed
She was to die
Her task was done at
Broken HeartThere was a girl who wouldn’t give her heartMore Like This
Not to a man who could play the part
Who could take her in and give her care
And never leave her in despair
For her heart was forever bound
To the going man, who’d gone around
He’d given her the things she’d asked
And then left her there…in his past
So now she wouldn’t give her heart
For fear that it would break apart
She would live her life in her home
And keep her heart as hard as stone
Fallen AngelMore Like This
Fallen Angel
Crawling in my forlorn appearance
I hide my soul behind these tattered wings
Tattered and broken as they are
Plucked of light, stained in tears and blood.
In quiet despair upon the cold earth
Smeared in dirt I crouch upon my weary knees
And clutched timidly between my fingers
Rests one last jewel of Hope.
A single unblemished plume plucked
From the silver light of dawn
A feathered ray of light from beyond
To illuminate the void that has me bound.
This precious barb of silk
Once lost as I was and forgotten
Blazes now to immerse me in radiant bliss
To wash away the pain, draw me from the abyss.
So now I fade away…
Fallen Angel: Sans ClichesLooking onwards with a grace of griefMore Like This
Littered is the past with broken dreams
Hopeless and unattainable as they are
Empty inside, I am heavy with burdens.
My name is soiled, my lover is lost, and my knees now falter
In quiet despair upon a foundation of childish mistakes
Whereas in one hand I hold audaciously, my final redemption:
A cold blade of sheathed steel, a tormentor’s temptation.
Remember, our fate is always but our own to make…
Embodied as it were, as in the rippling light of dawn
So my demons, from forth this sword to my grave
I pray this hour shall my soul witness a new day
For wherein my torment I was lo
what's left when...i.More Like This
it ends without a single shot, all our weapons long retired
and bitter words saved for later. we're in bed together
for the last time with nothing left to fight and nothing
left to fight for, nothing left to do but love
each other quietly for just a minute longer.
our hearts are one of many things we lost along the way.
ii.
it ends quietly, the latch on the door catching
like it always does and you slipping on the hardwood
floor with your shoes in hand. that was me
spilt sloppily on the floor, love leaking out of the
wounds in my chest where you reach into
and took what was left of me.
it's graphic, love. it's hot and it's sw
The places we almost went. Lover, I wanted to go everywhere with you,More Like This
tie our kite strings to the nearest boat and let it
drag us to the other side. I wanted to kiss you
in Paris. I wanted the acoustics of the sky over Amsterdam
cupped in my hands, to pour it over you while
you slept and to lick the northern lights from the corners
of your eyes.
I wanted to build forts in our
bedroom and call it paradise. I wanted to hunt
wild animals under the covers. I wanted
Africa's heat in the middle of December, and
a plane ticket to Russia when I was ready for the cold,
an extra pair of mittens and a hand
that was willing to hold mine when it snowed.
Lover, I wa
even the things you never...I was flinging dishes against the wall and praying toMore Like This
God, no, I was smashing what’s left of my heart along
with the fine china, no, I was thinking mostly
of your forehead damp with sweat and how it glued your
eyelashes to mine back when
you were willing to get close enough, and how
I don’t miss it.
I was flinging dishes against the wall last night and working
on my lies.
I was flinging dishes against the wall last night and thinking
about carving into your skin with the pieces. Mostly, I was
screaming I want my everything back, you asshole,
I want my everything back.
Don't Call MeI will make this note quite brief; I don't need to waste your time.More Like This
I really hate to do this but you're no longer mine.
Not the guy I knew and not the guy I loved.
I lost you to yourself. There went my beloved.
You said you needed space but soon after a while
I start to wonder if I'm wanted when you don't go that extra mile
We spent countless times together. "Joined at the hip" They'd say.
We shook our heads and laughed. That used to be your way.
To the jazz on your i-Pod, we went dancing in the rain.
My heart was full and happy now all I feel is pain.
You told me what you wanted but I couldn't fit your mold.
That didn't end to
im sorryI'm sorry that I love you,More Like This
I'm sorry that I care.
I'm sorry that you've taken for granted,
this beautiful love we share.
I'm sorry for the heartache,
I'm sorry for all the pain.
I'm sorry if you feel you gave,
and I didn't give back the same.
I'm sorry for keeping you waiting,
I'm sorry if I've wasted your time.
I'm sorry you think I'm not worthy,
and you no longer want to be mine.
I'm sorry for misunderstanding,
something that I thought was true.
I'm sorry if you don't understand,
why I do all the things I do.
I'm sorry for all my feelings,
they're obviously not enough.
I'm sorry that you had to let me go,
cause
Counting ScarsBlood dripped lackadaisically from the shallow wound.More Like This
A life that was started, is ended too soon.
One cut. Two cuts. Three cuts. Four.
My head screamed to stop it,
But my heart screamed for more.
Each tiny incision helps me count away the pain.
The numbness rolls in, keeping me sane.
Five cuts. Six cuts. Seven cuts. Eight.
Droplet by droplet,
Is it too late?
A silver blade turned crimson red.
One cut for each hundred tears shed.
Two more I think. Nine cuts. Ten.
I'll wait 'til they heal,
And start over again.
Cognitive LoathingThe virulent and turbulent spiral of existential awareness,More Like This
Pains of cognition course through the pulse of static,
Gurgling hatred pouring off my chin without fairness,
Translucent motives upon emotions gone erotic,
Ruptured consciousness spilling over new beginnings,
Violent apparitions grinning with ill intent,
Squeezing it out so it can feel more as it does my bidding,
Like a homeless planet circling malcontent,
I am confident that I can become fruition,
I am afraid that it will come with sinful measures,
I am sodden with grief from my self-creation,
Wealthy and fed but devoid of any true treasure,
I am the victim of chance and
ParadiseBack pressed against cold sheets.More Like This
Eyes search for you in the texture of walls.
Silence kills thoughts before they reach my mouth.
These walls are the only thing that can hear me,
But they don't even talk to me anymore.
Hands rest by my sides.
Fingers grip whatever they can.
Dark settles in my skin making it hard to move.
I would fight off the darkness if I could,
But I know I'll never find you in these creases
Rain hits the window in a rhythmic way.
Heart used to beat right along with it.
Thunder makes me shake slightly.
Out of fear or from the cold, I'm not sure,
But not even thunder can make this heart beat.
Eyes close to the
.. EmptyYou areMore Like This
The target of
Everything
I have
Ever
Wanted.
You are
The symbol of
Any love
I have
Ever
Felt.
You are
The prime cause
To every tear
I have
Ever
(forced) Bled.
You are
The way I look
With ebony eyes
That gleam
Like flaming
Obsidian.
You are
My emotion
That phases like
I am trying
To tuck away,
But can't.
You are
Everything
That I have
Ever known
To give me
Life.
You are
Everything.
You make me
(empty.)
Mine No LongerNothing dulls the painMore Like This
Not even this knife
Your words are engraved upon my skin
You voice trapped in my memory
No matter how much I rip my skin,
Your words still remain
No matter how many times I lose my mind,
Your voice is still there
My body goes through the motions
But really I'm a thousand miles away
In your arms
Just like I always wanted to be
You lips meeting mine
Then I hear someone calling me name
I realize it's not you
That I'm only dreaming again
I can't pretend anymore
I break down
My heart shatters
I know you're no longer mine
That you'll never be mine again
I am forced to remember
Remember what we had
What
I Sat There, Against The WallI sat there, against the wall.More Like This
My knees, clutched to my chest.
It hurts a little less that way,
In the hole that you have left.
My memory began to wonder,
And that scene just started to play.
At the foot of my bed, you poured out your heart,
And everything you wanted to say.
Shocked I was, when something was wet,
Just underneath my eye.
I didn't realise my hands were shaking,
Or that I'd begun to cry.
Your eyebrows pulled together then,
And you stared at me, for a while.
You filled my head with guilt and sadness.
And my heart with shards of denial.
I shook my head, erasing the past.
It's not worth anything to you, anymore.
B
