Art trade with one of my favorite artists, *megatruh! (I'm finally done, haha.) She requested a painting of Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke, which happens to a movie that I absolutely adore so I enjoyed doing this! I wanted to capture movement as well as this interesting perspective (I love his costume design here.) Ref images: www.animeresimleri.com/data/me… imgur.com/ArL4ex9 I might continue this portrait series... I want a San and Lady Eboshi to match this one...
We end on a serious note. Because 1 in 33 men will be raped in his lifetime, men are 82,000x more likely to be raped than falsely accused of rape. It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all than be paranoid about false accusers.
As soon as a child is born they’re passed around. Strangers think it’s okay to come up and touch them, family thinks it’s okay to come up and kiss them even if they don’t want them to (It’s even been used for comedic affect in multiple media). Children grow up thinking they have to put up with touch from adults that they don’t want. They’re taught to obey adults and not question them. Children have all of their control taken away. Growing up, because my mother went through having her older children molested and both my mother and father were both sexually abused as children, I was taught that if anyone touched me in any way that I wasn’t comfortable with to tell them. If I didn’t want to be touched by family members I wasn’t touched by family members. My parents empowered me to be in control of my body. Because of that, when I did receive unwanted touch I told my mom and she told the school and the problem was taken care of. We need to respect children’s boundaries when it comes to physical contact. I’m around a lot of children I’m really close to and I know how tempting it is to treat them like pets and just hug them all the time, which of course hugging is great and healthy as is tickling and physical touch but whenever a child says “no” to touch you have to respect that and back off. We need to empower our children to say no when they’re uncomfortable and teach them to that no is a valid answer.
D A Clarke:
I think you’re taking it too literally. However, men are constantly taught growing up to over-ride women’s personal space and consent. This follows through to later life and culminates in men not respecting the word ‘no’ when they hear it. This is rape culture.
Every time you are told that ‘boys will be boys’ or every time a girl is told that a boy hitting her means he likes her (rather than telling the boy NOT TO HIT), there is a lesson ingrained there. Every time a woman is told that wearing a certain kind of clothes is ‘putting a steak in front of a dog’, there is a lesson ingrained there.
The lesson is that women must be in control because men are incapable of controlling themselves. The lesson is that women don’t really mean it when they say no (and how many times have you seen a little girl say no only for a little boy to completely disregard that and NOT BE CORRECTED).
So no, you’re not taught exactly how to be a rapist. But you are raised in a society that tells you that you can’t control yourself and that it’s somehow the woman’s fault if you rape her. And if you can’t see that, then you’re the one who needs to wake up.
Suppose a man makes unwanted social advances to a woman in, let’s say, a restaurant or theatre, and she eventually has to tell him loudly or angrily to get lost. She is the one who will be perceived as rude, hostile, aggressive, and obnoxious. His verbal aggression and invasiveness are accepted and expected; her rudeness (or mere curtness) in getting rid of him is noticed and condemned. One of our great myths is that a “real lady” can and should handle any difficulty, defuse any assault, without ever raising her voice or losing her manners. Female rudeness or violence in resistance to male aggression has often been taken to prove that the woman was not a lady in the first place, and therefore deserved no respect from the aggressor or sympathy from others.
We live in a society that glorifies sexual assault to a degree that when I was a teenager I asked myself whether something was wrong with me for not being groped in the streets. The pride with which my classmates spoke of how apparently every random male hit on them made me wonder whether I was just too ugly to be desired. Something is rotten when harassment becomes the means young girls are taught to determine their self-worth with.
What explains the virulence of victim-blaming in sexual-assault cases? Perhaps one clue can be found in an often-cited study of male college students. This study found that one in twelve men admitted to having committed acts that met the legal definition of rape. However, 88 percent of men whose actions came under the legal definition of rape were adamant that their behavior did not constitute rape. This could be a result of confusion about what constitutes rape. This confusion is real in an era when the majority of boys and men are “educated” about sex through pornography, where it is normal in “non-violent” videos to see men treating women with incredible brutality and callousness. But the fact that so many men had committed rape also speaks to the reality of how pervasive the problem is—and how many “average” guys have motivation to ignore it.
Yes, false rape accusations happen. Run the protocol anyway. I’ve heard that perhaps the military has the highest number of ‘em. True or not, RUN THE PROTOCOL ANYWAY. Because in 15 years of investigating rape accusations, I can count those that panned out as false on one hand. Meanwhile, the one time I almost skipped the protocol, the one time I almost didn’t believe a petty officer, because I was naive as an investigator and a young woman, because her commanding officer described her as “a party girl, always late, always out drinking, don’t bother with this one”, she turned out to be the victim of one of the most brutal assaults I’ve ever investigated. She shouldn’t have still been -alive-, let alone up and making the accusation. So let me repeat: five false accounts in fifteen years. And one time I almost failed a woman ‘cause of the bullshit way it’s normal to talk about us. Take your shipmates’ word, and then run the protocol. Every. Single. Time.
I especially like how, in the majority of cases, you don’t have to verbally communicate what your signals are to other women. I’ve had women I didn’t even know come save me. Literally every woman recognizes the “Dear god, help me” facial expression, and knows exactly what they should do. We don’t get a handbook for this. We don’t have a sit-down nail polish party where we talk about a standardized woman code for preventing creepers. It’s just part of being a woman.
BUT LOL RAPE CULTURE DOESN’T EXIST.