At 1amI tried to count the dents,
in my armour,
but I couldn't open my eyes,
I'm too tired.
So I tried to sleep forever,
but I couldn't because,
the ringing in my head wouldn't stop,
whispering at me to wake,
silently, ever so silently.
And so I breathe,
floating and rising,
but I have a body,
a beating heart,
an overdose of emotion,
an intangible force,
that makes me so tired,
always, so tired.
FacebookI choose not to come here anymore,More Like This
To face this great book of lies,
Of sparkles and streamers, and plastic grins
And brilliantly backlit eyes;
Of trumpets and fanfare, and happy jigs
Of trophies of silver and gold;
I'll come here no longer to face this great book
Until my own story's been told.
There is no blank space for my story here -
Amidst all of the glitter and light,
There are no spare pages for tales of depression
And long, mournful cries in the night.
There's not a spare line, amongst tales
In which each man's a hero, a victor, a king,
For stories of villains, of widows and orphans,
And caged birds that no longer sing.
There are plenty of friends here to share in your victories,
Encourage and compliment too,
But not many to listen, to mourn with, to cry on,
To sit with you all the night through.
There are hundreds of friends to invite to your parties,
To toast to your health and to dance,
But surprisingly few that will come to your aid
When your coffers have emptied at l
Letters To Me On Life And Love (Part 1)Dear 7 Year Old Me,More Like This
Stop flirting so much darling.
I know you think you're grown up.
You're not. And that is okay,
There will be plenty of time for
Heartbreak, and love. Just enjoy
What you have now. And by the way
You do survive. I know the hospital was scary,
But you're gonna be okay. And ignore
What the rude doctor says. Your
Mommy wouldn't leave you for the world.
Just eat the fucking ice cream okay?
You will get violently ill if you don't,
Vomiting blood for days on end.
I know you're still not listening,
Which is too bad. There will be a mean
Nurse at the hospital, be nice to her. She
Will let you stay up late. She is having a
Difficult time. Tell her about the "Love of
Your life" She will think you're adorable
And you will be her favorite little sick one.
Dear 12 Year Old Me,
I'm so sorry sweetheart. Please, it will stop.
Not forever, but you won't need the dress again.
I know, 7 funerals, 4 months. It's a lot for you.
Dear SantaDear Santa can you fix it for meMore Like This
To live a day of my life pain free
Where bullies won't rip off my shirt
And, just for once, the bruises don't hurt
Can you please make it that for this one night
My parents get through it without a bad fight
Or that I have an hour without the growing fear
That in the morning I won't be here
Maybe if I am good today
I won't be beaten for being gay
And that I might not have to grieve
Over a friend killed for what they believe
Please don't make it another night on my own
All the rest of this year I have been so alone
Everyone I loved has gone and I'm tired and old
No money for the heating, the house is so cold
Let me find a nice place in which to stay
I'm not fussy; just a nice alley or friendly doorway
Santa what I would give for a crust of fresh bread
Or one night spent safe in a fluffy soft bed
Bring back my daughter, I need her alive
Go tell her killer not to drink and then drive
Tell my mom I love her and give her a hug
Let her know I'm sorry for over
My Love (77.)There's a girl with dandelion-streaked kneesMore Like This
She buzzes soft like the bees
Her eyes painted blue
Her dress is too
She swept in like a breeze
She's the girl who holds up the tide
Her endless beauty is a crime
She doesn't know
How could she though?
Her mother thinks she's a waste of time
She's so angry, deep inside
She tries so hard but doesn't know why
She's in so much pain
She can't be restrained
She's ripped to shreds, and she can't hide
My love is up with the angels for today
She couldn't keep the thoughts at bay
She told me that she couldn't stay
It wasn't an option, to deal with the weather
And now she's decided to leave me forever
Ode To Writer's BlockStaring at the piece of paperMore Like This
Without the faintest idea
Of what to write, I sit
In my chair, pencil not moving
Madness gaining another step
I wonder how many mornings
Or perhaps it was evening time
When Frost sat down to write, that he-
Spent staring at the empty page
Clueless about subject matter
Writer's block, such bloody torment
Making a wanker out of me
Always appearing at my door
At a most inconvienant time
What a terrible patron
Sing-Song, Stumble SlurChasing fire works, fire flies,More Like This
these fucking lies through urban sprawl and graffiti scrawl,
fingers locked, heart thumping in my throat like the bile I can't choke down.
It tastes like Vaseline and ashes,
a mouthful of proof of my cystic demise.
The clumsy stumble roar,
beasts with cherry-flavored foam leaking through their teeth,
and how much more skin can be chewed from my neck?
Skyscraper mazes and the pain-and-memory hazes I live and breathe
like it'd literally kill me to let it go.
Let it go.
Time slips and slides,
ice and lies,
love-dipped fallacies that hide
chrome and Vodka-bottle teeth.
Survive for the fight,
for the knuckle scabs and the dirty rainbow bruises.
Merit badges stamped into my chest.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Blunt instrument know-it-all,
but you're dumb as a brick and I'm feeling sick,
stomach churn, eyes burn,
and the crepe paper, purple spider leg memories eat at me.
Oh, you dog.
A year worth of your life and I've learned the bliss
Leap of faithWhen I was youngerMore Like This
I fell for half-complete jigsaw puzzles,
teddy bears with one eye,
and broken boys
with inkdrop smiles
and a vague hazy form
like a watercolour painting;
because they needed me
to fill in the glaring holes
to stitch them an outline
- define them.
But now I have left behind the injured baby birds
looking for perches, springboards
- reaching hands.
teai. he was the typeMore Like This
to drink people up;
filter their dreams through his
mind, and sip their essence until
they were but drops, sitting dainty,
on his upper lip
ii. he told me I wasn’t,
exactly, his cup of tea
that I was not pleasant enough
to soothe his weary mind and that no sweetener
could dissolve my memories into
manageable swirls as he stirred my world
iii. I was something a little
too harsh, too angry for him to
swallow in one sitting - and
he was the type to never sit for long –
that I burned as I went, shattered
the air like a teapot kettle and
broke every china glass he tried
to sift me into
iv. I told myself that
the glass shards that splintered
weren’t because of me- but him- and that
maybe I wasn’t tea but something different and
I need an alcoholic because I’m not easy
(shot glasses don’t have handles)
My intermissonI've made my decisionMore Like This
For better or for worse
I request this intermission
from my life i call a curse
this is really, just so i can find my innate creativity
Lately I've been finding passion from my emotional lashin
Rejection Neglection, all the feelings that destroy you
help build me
If it hurts it heals
if it heals it doesn't kill
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
if that's the cause i might survive a little longer
I take a step back to create this track
I block everyone out
a person has there doubts
i no longer know the meaning of trust
i lost everyone's to a girl with lust
i made a mistake, tieing everyone and everything to happiness
they were the reason i came to school everyday
so it hurt like hell to realize that image couldn't stay
it seems i'm being held back
my life is derailing from the track
my world is going black im not sure if it will ever go back
The Best WritersMore Like This
They say the best people
Sometimes those people
Others will simply
Form a reply
And say it's all right
Yet, there are people
Who take the time,
They think - appreciate
And leave by words
That last forever in minds
But, there's others
Who take no time
To read with thought
And rather leave replies
That to those people
Are the kind, rich
With no meaning
And of those people,
The ones who understand,
There are many in the world
But only few who know it
Sometimes, the best of the best
Are those who don't see
What's in themselves
Despite that their words
Sit right in front of them -
But they're not enough
That's just the key
That opens the understanding
Into other thoughts,
That allows never replies,
But words that are shared
And the words like that
Are the ones
That never leave the mind
I've met many,
Yet there's always those
Who stand out in a crowd
Filled with the same words
There is at leas
My Life Lives For YouI'm sure I'm not the only oneMore Like This
Who has ever wondered why
They were put here on this Earth
To live for and how to do so
I've been called insane
So many countless times for
My own personal belief over
My own personal 'why' I'm here
It's in at least my own mind
Since I was too young to even
Know what I meant with it, but
It's my own personal belief that
I live here on this Earth we share
To be here for others, I mean
There must be a reason to why
I've been blessed with the words
I seem to share with many each day
I live by the rule of caring, without
Expecting anything back in return
But a true smile spreading your lips
My life is far from a prosperous one,
Aside from the family's income amount
My wallet is commonly empty, because
That money currently lies upon the
Table of my friend's home for their use
I care more about a stranger's life
Than I do about my own, even with the
Same exact problems we may share -
Then again, going through my own helps
To understand others in their trek
Streetlights, Not StarlightI make my wishesMore Like This
on illuminated streets
under starless skies
painted an abysmal black.
Fraudulent counterfeit lamps
glow brighter than the real deal
as long as they stand
within arms' reach
and eyes' sight.
Whilst emitting their deceitful luminescence,
these too-good-to-be-true stars,
so close to us,
mask the glow of those they imitate
with the dazzling daze they produce,
and it sadly seems as though
most of us accept these fakes.
So, under starless skies
painted an abysmal black,
on falsely illuminated streets
is where I speak my wishes;
I wish I could see
those stifled stars again.
What do you wish for?
I saw an AngelI saw an Angel.More Like This
No, he wasn't abnormally beautiful with gorgeous blond locks, nor did his eyes shine as bright as the Caspian sea. He didn't have wings either, nor did he wear clothing adorned in white that shined brighter than the sun itself.
He was as plain as I was, perhaps even plainer. Though blond, his hair wasn't brilliant, in fact, it was dirty and matted. He wasn't the picture of perfection either, in fact, he was the opposite.
Pale and thin, dirty and uncared for, I saw him in the alley with a needle stuck in his arm.
A dose of heroine destroyed him, spoiled him...but I still saw an angel.
Perhaps it was the smile he gave me, when I gave him fifty cents go buy some cigarettes.
Perhaps it was the way his dull eyes looked at me, lost and distant....alone.
Perhaps it was the way they screamed, “I'm still human”.
I saw an Angel.
She stood at the corner of the street, striking a pose for all to see.
There in the Red Light District, beautiful and elaborated with m
Speak! 1/3My heart is beating i forgot it couldMore Like This
lately I've been feeling like i'm made of wood
Any form of imperfection or neglection
has been sanded away
My size is getting smaller
but at the same time i'm becoming a different picture
Its been a while since i was able to smile
to be a little specific,
if you want me to be realistic,
13 of January is when our friendship stopped being consistent
I Aim this direct, No time to protect
i dont need your consent,
your the one who put me in this predicament
This whole thing seems over and through,
but that's only the case for you
I have a lot to say
but you wont let me speak
You came to me to shut me up
that's kinda fucked up
So i'm standing up,
Facing my demons
cause I've had enough
And I'm so fed up
I'm trying to put my life back together
at the moment while you sit back
and watch in enjoyment
If this is to be my future i want no part of it
I lost to many people to this heart break shit...
how to unfreeze heri. With cold grey eyes she placesMore Like This
shards of ice into her empty veins
daring anyone who comes near to attempt to
ii. She’s slipping so fast
into a snowy world of no return
and the frozen girl is shivering;
yearning for an escape into a state of
subzero because she forgot
how to be warm so
iii. Stall her;
greet her with the embers of your eyes
remind her of warmth and show her
the fire that burns through your mind
hold her hands, let her melt in your embrace
paint her blue skin with your
coal lined fingertips and don’t forget
to char her lips, lace your smoky breath
with her own and let her into
the hearth of your heart
even if she tells you she’s scared
of being burned
on watching the night close its eyes on you1. I will not tell youMore Like This
you are pretty.
How can the halls and angles of such honest humanity
be so pinched between sounds as elementary as these?
2. You need not be two stringent boughs of syllables
nor weave your viney bones abreast these five petty letters,
whirling in the fire of the river
Do not attempt to peel yourself layer for layer,
leaving all the disgust behind.
Do not tally your body six lines
too short, hemming the holes into
puckers red as those volcanoes of strength
bursting at the base of your hips.
3. Blood is not satisfaction.
Blood is not patience, waiting for the rooms to empty
New LifeOne life,More Like This
Lonely and boring,
Watching friends succeed in what I was too lazy to do,
Regretting being lazy then being lazy once more,
This life will soon be a memory,
A new life,
Full of adventures,
This will be the life I always wanted.
the WagonsAt dawn the heavy draught horses dragged into town the oblong wagons, containing the body of the exotic beast of the Count and the remains of the children with whom it was fed, hidden by black blankets.More Like This
The young Erinno stood still to observe the procession with its unknown content until, because of a ditch, the blanket of one of the wagons lifted for a few moments.
Erinno became the village idiot and died at forty.
No one knows if he saw the beast or the children, but during sleep he used to repeat disconnected phrases, that witnesses refused to repeat.
i Raggi di un adorabile TramontoSfiorami la mano con un ditoMore Like This
affinché io possa dissipare
la paura che tu non sia reale.
Sfiorami la mano con un dito
affinché io possa risuonare.
Sfiorami la mano con un dito.
As LordsAs LordsMore Like This
Standing tall, he bucks.
Now, taller still, He is Lord.
Hooves fall, hammering down dust;
His muscles ripple pure power
From his legs, his neck
And into fiery calm eyes.
A head toss, a snort;
Wide nostrils breathe powerful
Breaths, breaths that belie
Eyes of opalescent calm.
He’s Lord over you,
And as your hand smoothes his neck
He lets you realise
That He’s let you become friends;
You may both stand tall as Lords.
No Deeper SilenceWoods rot, wet cracks, lung snapMore Like This
no deeper resonance
no riverbed silence
only ragged mists.
This land has been
village women, nurse, frown, shut fences
a stare from the naked echo;
a wolf-like yelp - tendons tight
O great ancient one
Leave this circle
Let the hills gather
Let the fault-lines hum.
If Chocolate Could Cure CancerIf Chocolate Could Cure CancerMore Like This
If chocolate could cure cancer, oh how rich I’d be.
I’d buy it and disperse it for all the world to see
How great a person I am, how kind and how sincere;
“She’s sharing with the world, love. Oh isn’t she a dear”.
If chocolate could cure cancer, oh what would it be like,
To eat several bars in succession knowing it’s adding to my life.
I’d be rounder than a grapefruit and bigger than a ball,
‘Cos if chocolate could cure cancer I wouldn’t exercise at all.
An Owl's LaiA barn owl take flightMore Like This
Deep into the night
Jehovah's kind light
But the darkness fights
Fast into his sight
Pain does it recite
Summer WishesSummer WishesMore Like This
Summer dances in on a weak breeze,
Sweeping away the winter greys
And bringing in glorious blues;
I melt like ice cream in the shade,
And drown dust bunnies foolish enough to make my bed their home.
My body cries out for winter’s beauty
As it sweats away the summer sun inside;
I am a rock sinking into the mattress and wishing it were a pool.