At 1amI tried to count the dents,
in my armour,
but I couldn't open my eyes,
I'm too tired.
So I tried to sleep forever,
but I couldn't because,
the ringing in my head wouldn't stop,
whispering at me to wake,
silently, ever so silently.
And so I breathe,
floating and rising,
but I have a body,
a beating heart,
an overdose of emotion,
an intangible force,
that makes me so tired,
always, so tired.
Letters To Me On Life And Love (Part 1)Dear 7 Year Old Me,More Like This
Stop flirting so much darling.
I know you think you're grown up.
You're not. And that is okay,
There will be plenty of time for
Heartbreak, and love. Just enjoy
What you have now. And by the way
You do survive. I know the hospital was scary,
But you're gonna be okay. And ignore
What the rude doctor says. Your
Mommy wouldn't leave you for the world.
Just eat the fucking ice cream okay?
You will get violently ill if you don't,
Vomiting blood for days on end.
I know you're still not listening,
Which is too bad. There will be a mean
Nurse at the hospital, be nice to her. She
Will let you stay up late. She is having a
Difficult time. Tell her about the "Love of
Your life" She will think you're adorable
And you will be her favorite little sick one.
Dear 12 Year Old Me,
I'm so sorry sweetheart. Please, it will stop.
Not forever, but you won't need the dress again.
I know, 7 funerals, 4 months. It's a lot for you.
Dear SantaDear Santa can you fix it for meMore Like This
To live a day of my life pain free
Where bullies won't rip off my shirt
And, just for once, the bruises don't hurt
Can you please make it that for this one night
My parents get through it without a bad fight
Or that I have an hour without the growing fear
That in the morning I won't be here
Maybe if I am good today
I won't be beaten for being gay
And that I might not have to grieve
Over a friend killed for what they believe
Please don't make it another night on my own
All the rest of this year I have been so alone
Everyone I loved has gone and I'm tired and old
No money for the heating, the house is so cold
Let me find a nice place in which to stay
I'm not fussy; just a nice alley or friendly doorway
Santa what I would give for a crust of fresh bread
Or one night spent safe in a fluffy soft bed
Bring back my daughter, I need her alive
Go tell her killer not to drink and then drive
Tell my mom I love her and give her a hug
Let her know I'm sorry for over
My Love (77.)There's a girl with dandelion-streaked kneesMore Like This
She buzzes soft like the bees
Her eyes painted blue
Her dress is too
She swept in like a breeze
She's the girl who holds up the tide
Her endless beauty is a crime
She doesn't know
How could she though?
Her mother thinks she's a waste of time
She's so angry, deep inside
She tries so hard but doesn't know why
She's in so much pain
She can't be restrained
She's ripped to shreds, and she can't hide
My love is up with the angels for today
She couldn't keep the thoughts at bay
She told me that she couldn't stay
It wasn't an option, to deal with the weather
And now she's decided to leave me forever
Ode To Writer's BlockStaring at the piece of paperMore Like This
Without the faintest idea
Of what to write, I sit
In my chair, pencil not moving
Madness gaining another step
I wonder how many mornings
Or perhaps it was evening time
When Frost sat down to write, that he-
Spent staring at the empty page
Clueless about subject matter
Writer's block, such bloody torment
Making a wanker out of me
Always appearing at my door
At a most inconvienant time
What a terrible patron
Sing-Song, Stumble SlurChasing fire works, fire flies,More Like This
these fucking lies through urban sprawl and graffiti scrawl,
fingers locked, heart thumping in my throat like the bile I can't choke down.
It tastes like Vaseline and ashes,
a mouthful of proof of my cystic demise.
The clumsy stumble roar,
beasts with cherry-flavored foam leaking through their teeth,
and how much more skin can be chewed from my neck?
Skyscraper mazes and the pain-and-memory hazes I live and breathe
like it'd literally kill me to let it go.
Let it go.
Time slips and slides,
ice and lies,
love-dipped fallacies that hide
chrome and Vodka-bottle teeth.
Survive for the fight,
for the knuckle scabs and the dirty rainbow bruises.
Merit badges stamped into my chest.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Blunt instrument know-it-all,
but you're dumb as a brick and I'm feeling sick,
stomach churn, eyes burn,
and the crepe paper, purple spider leg memories eat at me.
Oh, you dog.
A year worth of your life and I've learned the bliss
Leap of faithWhen I was youngerMore Like This
I fell for half-complete jigsaw puzzles,
teddy bears with one eye,
and broken boys
with inkdrop smiles
and a vague hazy form
like a watercolour painting;
because they needed me
to fill in the glaring holes
to stitch them an outline
- define them.
But now I have left behind the injured baby birds
looking for perches, springboards
- reaching hands.
So much.so much dependsMore Like This
a partially filled
that you begin to
will you set it down
Jacob.I would disagree with youMore Like This
Demanding that you were mistaken
That you didn't know what you were talking about.
Well look at me now,
You were right all along
Seeing things I never could.
As I write these words
I think back to the day that I finally got it
And used what you knew to my advantage.
You pushed me.
You would cross your arms smiling
Letting me try to argue my point (even if I had none).
Thank you so much for it all.
With out your support I wouldn't be
The poet, or person I am today.
teai. he was the typeMore Like This
to drink people up;
filter their dreams through his
mind, and sip their essence until
they were but drops, sitting dainty,
on his upper lip
ii. he told me I wasn’t,
exactly, his cup of tea
that I was not pleasant enough
to soothe his weary mind and that no sweetener
could dissolve my memories into
manageable swirls as he stirred my world
iii. I was something a little
too harsh, too angry for him to
swallow in one sitting - and
he was the type to never sit for long –
that I burned as I went, shattered
the air like a teapot kettle and
broke every china glass he tried
to sift me into
iv. I told myself that
the glass shards that splintered
weren’t because of me- but him- and that
maybe I wasn’t tea but something different and
I need an alcoholic because I’m not easy
(shot glasses don’t have handles)
My intermissonI've made my decisionMore Like This
For better or for worse
I request this intermission
from my life i call a curse
this is really, just so i can find my innate creativity
Lately I've been finding passion from my emotional lashin
Rejection Neglection, all the feelings that destroy you
help build me
If it hurts it heals
if it heals it doesn't kill
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
if that's the cause i might survive a little longer
I take a step back to create this track
I block everyone out
a person has there doubts
i no longer know the meaning of trust
i lost everyone's to a girl with lust
i made a mistake, tieing everyone and everything to happiness
they were the reason i came to school everyday
so it hurt like hell to realize that image couldn't stay
it seems i'm being held back
my life is derailing from the track
my world is going black im not sure if it will ever go back
The Best WritersMore Like This
They say the best people
Sometimes those people
Others will simply
Form a reply
And say it's all right
Yet, there are people
Who take the time,
They think - appreciate
And leave by words
That last forever in minds
But, there's others
Who take no time
To read with thought
And rather leave replies
That to those people
Are the kind, rich
With no meaning
And of those people,
The ones who understand,
There are many in the world
But only few who know it
Sometimes, the best of the best
Are those who don't see
What's in themselves
Despite that their words
Sit right in front of them -
But they're not enough
That's just the key
That opens the understanding
Into other thoughts,
That allows never replies,
But words that are shared
And the words like that
Are the ones
That never leave the mind
I've met many,
Yet there's always those
Who stand out in a crowd
Filled with the same words
There is at leas
My Life Lives For YouI'm sure I'm not the only oneMore Like This
Who has ever wondered why
They were put here on this Earth
To live for and how to do so
I've been called insane
So many countless times for
My own personal belief over
My own personal 'why' I'm here
It's in at least my own mind
Since I was too young to even
Know what I meant with it, but
It's my own personal belief that
I live here on this Earth we share
To be here for others, I mean
There must be a reason to why
I've been blessed with the words
I seem to share with many each day
I live by the rule of caring, without
Expecting anything back in return
But a true smile spreading your lips
My life is far from a prosperous one,
Aside from the family's income amount
My wallet is commonly empty, because
That money currently lies upon the
Table of my friend's home for their use
I care more about a stranger's life
Than I do about my own, even with the
Same exact problems we may share -
Then again, going through my own helps
To understand others in their trek
Streetlights, Not StarlightI make my wishesMore Like This
on illuminated streets
under starless skies
painted an abysmal black.
Fraudulent counterfeit lamps
glow brighter than the real deal
as long as they stand
within arms' reach
and eyes' sight.
Whilst emitting their deceitful luminescence,
these too-good-to-be-true stars,
so close to us,
mask the glow of those they imitate
with the dazzling daze they produce,
and it sadly seems as though
most of us accept these fakes.
So, under starless skies
painted an abysmal black,
on falsely illuminated streets
is where I speak my wishes;
I wish I could see
those stifled stars again.
What do you wish for?
I saw an AngelI saw an Angel.More Like This
No, he wasn't abnormally beautiful with gorgeous blond locks, nor did his eyes shine as bright as the Caspian sea. He didn't have wings either, nor did he wear clothing adorned in white that shined brighter than the sun itself.
He was as plain as I was, perhaps even plainer. Though blond, his hair wasn't brilliant, in fact, it was dirty and matted. He wasn't the picture of perfection either, in fact, he was the opposite.
Pale and thin, dirty and uncared for, I saw him in the alley with a needle stuck in his arm.
A dose of heroine destroyed him, spoiled him...but I still saw an angel.
Perhaps it was the smile he gave me, when I gave him fifty cents go buy some cigarettes.
Perhaps it was the way his dull eyes looked at me, lost and distant....alone.
Perhaps it was the way they screamed, “I'm still human”.
I saw an Angel.
She stood at the corner of the street, striking a pose for all to see.
There in the Red Light District, beautiful and elaborated with m
Speak! 1/3My heart is beating i forgot it couldMore Like This
lately I've been feeling like i'm made of wood
Any form of imperfection or neglection
has been sanded away
My size is getting smaller
but at the same time i'm becoming a different picture
Its been a while since i was able to smile
to be a little specific,
if you want me to be realistic,
13 of January is when our friendship stopped being consistent
I Aim this direct, No time to protect
i dont need your consent,
your the one who put me in this predicament
This whole thing seems over and through,
but that's only the case for you
I have a lot to say
but you wont let me speak
You came to me to shut me up
that's kinda fucked up
So i'm standing up,
Facing my demons
cause I've had enough
And I'm so fed up
I'm trying to put my life back together
at the moment while you sit back
and watch in enjoyment
If this is to be my future i want no part of it
I lost to many people to this heart break shit...
how to unfreeze heri. With cold grey eyes she placesMore Like This
shards of ice into her empty veins
daring anyone who comes near to attempt to
ii. She’s slipping so fast
into a snowy world of no return
and the frozen girl is shivering;
yearning for an escape into a state of
subzero because she forgot
how to be warm so
iii. Stall her;
greet her with the embers of your eyes
remind her of warmth and show her
the fire that burns through your mind
hold her hands, let her melt in your embrace
paint her blue skin with your
coal lined fingertips and don’t forget
to char her lips, lace your smoky breath
with her own and let her into
the hearth of your heart
even if she tells you she’s scared
of being burned
WonderlandWhen I'm with youMore Like This
I'm floating in our own little
except the Mad Hatter's dead
and Alice is sleeping with the Knave
behind the Queen's back.
N e p h i l i mForbidden in heaven,More Like This
forbidden in hell,
my sweet, delightful
scent is what
I mutter under
with a devilish
the kind of species
you wish to end all
we can access your
just like a glove.
Try to end us
if you please,
I can certainly
it won't be
tear your soul
Come On OutYou want to hide away in a cave?More Like This
Just know that someone is waiting for you,
Hoping that one day you'll come out,
After you come out,
Everything will change,
You will find everything is new,
Not everyone is selfish and closed-minded,
There is a sun smiling down at you.
You want to hide away in a cave?
Just know that someone is waiting for you.
VeilfacedVeilfacedMore Like This
Let’s follow spectrelight and veilfaced
In the wake of sosmallbox.
Let’s dress antighost
And go veilfaced
One man carries sosmallbox past
Prayerseats and down the sadaisle
Towards the darkdoor.
Out in brightlight and moodskies
Placed perfectly in
Pond WaterI smell pond waterMore Like This
Just before spring starts
One of the few things I love
About the coming sunshine
the Mainspring of the HeartAffected by the disease called Loneliness, Amelia used to build rag dolls, inserting a pocket watch in their chests, after a small charge with the charging key in the mainspring.More Like This
As soon as the faint beat had ceased, she celebrated the funeral and added the key to her necklace,whose one day broke her neck.
When Mind roams with SeagullsShe pulled her coat tightMore Like This
when the wind gently blew:
a sort of hug, on the beach,
in Wintertime, at dusk.
Therefore she missed
someone she never knew:
too much love to prevent
the blue sky to cry its stars.
Maniai.More Like This
Can't figure out my life
and there's tears in my eyes,
please don't take me by surprise-
And I'm never gonna be the same again.
So please don't drop me
cause I've already been down
twice this week.
In The MorningI used to not to sleep at nightMore Like This
to be dead the next day-
But now I want to get some rest
so I can dream of you
a hundred miles away
and wake to your love
in the morning.
Devious Journal EntryI got tagged by monytaLTMore Like This
1) You must post these rules
2) Each person has to share 10 facts about themselves
3) Answer the 10 questions asked by the person who tagged you and make up 10 questions for the 10 you tag
4) Choose 10 people and put their icons in your journal
5) Go to their page and inform them that they have been tagged by you
6) Not something like " You are tagged if you read that "
7) You have to legitimately tag 10 people.
8) NO TAG BACKS
9) You can't say that you don't do tags
10) You MUST make a journal entry
10 Facts About Myself:
1. I love to sleep
2. I hate school
3. I am lactose intolerance but I eat dairy
BabydollPropping my daughter against the towel on my shoulder, I rhythmically pat her back. Nevaeh's just had her second bottle of the day, and try as I might, I still can't get her to burp. Today is no different, and in the end I give up, wipe her small round mouth, and pop her in the bouncer for a while. It's the electric kind, with a soft lullaby and swinging motion, so I know she'll be entertained while I get on with the mountain of washing that needs to be folded.More Like This
You wouldn't think just two people could make so much washing, but ever since her dad had left me, it seemed like the washing pile had grown larger instead of smaller. Despite the lullaby, I make conversation with her as I fold - it seems to me that it's the best way to develop her speech, for her to hear it. She's such a good, quiet baby, I often wonder how long until she starts making more noise.
By the time I've reduced "mount fold-me" to a mere foothill, she's asleep, so I leave her in the bouncer and dash out to check the m
Daily Deviations Weekly Highlights XIWelcome to a feature in which I will be highlighting some of the Daily Deviations from the past 7 days. This feature aims to further promote and share some of the amazing artwork our Community Volunteers have selected, and I hope you will all enjoy either discovering some art you have missed, or re-admiring the Daily Deviations you've seen this past week. Please feel encouraged to this journal, and go check out each artist's gallery, to support our amazing communityMore Like This