phutMore Like This
Beard now meticulously trimmed, remaining follicles on his chilly scalp brought to some kind of order, tie perfectly complementing both handkerchief and socks (exposed a devilish half-inch), "Yes," said mirror "you still cut a dashing figure, Rupert."
Rupert sniffed, his eyebrows rippling a little as he did so. "Today," he announced to his lamp… or maybe his wardrobe… perhaps even his comb, who knows? "Today, (Monday the seventeenth of May, two-thousand and three) is a milestone, in the life of Rupert J. Falt. Today he steps out of his front door for the first time as an executive member of Zest Incorporated! And what is more," he added with an ITV grin "he's rather proud of it."
Rupert J. Falt shooed a fictitious speck of dust from his trousers and trotted down the stairs. As he approached his front door… he faltered. In front of it was a walrus – a large, grey, blubbery walrus with whiskers and tusks and all of the usual walrustic trimmings one would expect from a typical walrus. In
Crazy LoveThey said that it was Breaking NewsMore Like This
A triumph scientific;
Not one minute did they lose
The message was specific...
'Neath camera's glare the man announced
In an excited wheeze,
"Our studies show this thing called LOVE
Is akin to a mental disease!"
Perplexed and stunned, the crowd was still,
No reaction did they show,
Till one man shouted, "Tell us please
A thing we don't already know!"
"Mushy poems on Valentine's Day,
Rings that swallow half our pay,
Not happy till your wife you've made 'er,
A screaming brat comes nine months later..."
"D'you think we'd go through all that pain
If LOVE were something that was sane?"