prayer of the androidsittng here alone
among the lost flowers
of my forgotten world
above the sky is like la mere
stars sailing across the sun
and hands full of moon dust
i close my eyes
i lost myself
i cannot sleep
my eyelids fallen
the center of my mind
when i open this gate
who will i find?
i see face staring back at me
face with sorrow and regret
painted on it
i lied – i don't want to know the truth
now just lie to me, like i did to you
just tell me that it's not my face
there, in the shadows
just don't ask me to fight
'cause my sword is broken
my magic flow away
and i have nothing, nothing left
so lie to me, sweetheart
lie to me
tell me, that you can build me
that i don't need oil
running in my veins
tell me that i run on the blade
that i don't need ubik
and that i don't dream
about electric sheep…
More than a wordOne wordMore Like This
They are only
Of one person
Not the whole piece
But a fraction
Of an entire being
An entire paragraph
Though it won't be enough
Try writing their story
Then you'll see
That's who they are
Just one word
Who I am.I can keep any secret, mostly because I'm likely to forget it the following day.More Like This
I can probably stand you, at least until you do something too stupid.
I can be trusted, only because I've felt how it feels to be betrayed.
I can give you my attention, only because no one wants to hear my side of the story.
I can be just about anyone, but I want to be myself.
I can cause destruction, but it usually ends up doing good.
I can be silent, but only to watch as other people make fools of themselves.
I can love, but am afraid to say it.
I have my reasons, do you?
This is who I am, and who I will always be.
The bombBeing so calmMore Like This
Is like being a bomb
You frighten people
Because they can hear the beeping
The beeping before the explosion
Just something tiny
Just to set you off
Then the timer runs out
You are a bomb
When you're calm
And no one knows
Lie behind the silence
Or behind the mask
Sometimes Love isn't enoughI'd rather bathe in the sewers of hell,More Like This
Than lay next to you in a bed.
And I would rather blow my own brains out ,
Than sit and listen to your stupid voice spit out lies.
I would rather dive into a volcano ,
Then believe one of your promises,
That were broken before spoken.
The room grows cold when you walk in,
Because I dread the fight you deny will come.
And the rain doesn't soothe me anymore,
Because I know I can't run in it.
My shoes are so worn from chasing,
And my sweater can't keep me warm any longer.
I'm on my own,
But somehow bound by your phony love.
As the days grow colder,
I will gain the strength,
To lift up my feet,
And leave you out of this journey.
The Memories Won't Soon Fade..The Memories Won't Soon Fade Away...More Like This
I don't know if it's shock
I imagine you there
Then it's okay
You are okay...
Then it comes crashing down
I'll never see you again.
What happened to you?
I can't imagine the hurt
Thought I've been there...
I always come out okay
The day finally came where too much really was
And you remained silent
Why didn't you call?
To hear a friendly voice again...
I know that,
Though my tears no longer fall
Though I've gone numb
I know I'll always miss you
And from time to time (and probably more)
It really won't be the same....
With you gone
There's so much you'll miss
Around each corner
I'll wish you were there
And each time I'm crying I'l
CaseyHolding on to what you once said to meMore Like This
Holding on to those times we shared
The milkshakes and long walks
Wishing I had said those words...just once
I wish I had told you I loved you
And that you were one of the best friends
I could ever have.
If I could walk and talk with you once again
Under that blue sky
And in the rain
I would tell you just how much you meant to me
I never thought I would lose you
And now that you're gone
I can't grasp the place where you once stood
The place where you told me what I meant to you
The place that you held me when I needed it the most
One of my best friends passed away
And I'm just wishing I had told him all of this.
Messages From the Unborn ChildDon't you worry Mommy,More Like This
I'm right here,
Though you cannot see me,
I hold you dear.
Don't you worry Mommy,
I'm warm and free,
The sky is blue,
And I can hear the sea.
Don't you worry Mommy,
One day you'll hold me tight,
I'll feel your kiss,
And it'll be alright.
Don't you worry Mommy,
I'm waiting for you to come to me,
Here with the angels,
And then you will see.
Don't you worry Mommy,
The day will be soon,
You can find me then,
Up near the moon.
Samobojczynapiszę ci śmierćMore Like This
zatrzymam ciepły ocean
złożę cię miękko
na falach zastygłych
w ćwierć taktu
rozłamię na pół
każdą z białych
napoję inkańską wodą
wąskie jędrne płatki
wysączę z ciebie
omdlałej baryłki miodu
wszystkie gorzkie posmaki
i stanie się ciemność
jej welwetowe usta
obejmą nas i zamkną
i stanie się wieczność
zagłada wątłego świata
w nagłej zapaści
nie zechcesz zaufać
nie podasz dłoni
czarnemu pijanemu Morfeuszowi
nigdy już nikt
poza nim nie dotknie
Imaginaeryjnynapiszę ci przeistoczenieMore Like This
zabiorę ci siebie jakiego znasz
wydrę ze wszystkich stałości
nagiego rzucę pomiędzy żebra
zabiorę ci zmysły jakie znasz
odmętnie pogrążę cię
w zimnym lepkim szaleństwie
odwiecznej tajemnicy wszechświata
zabiorę ci motyle jakie znasz
wypcham krwawiące rany
broczące sine usta
kosmatymi pełzającymi ćmami
zabiorę ci człowieczeństwo jakie znasz
rozłamię gładkie plecy
jak ciepły chleb
i zasztyletuję boskim pierwiastkiem
i stanę się ciemnością
ślepym bielmem mgły
rozpozetrę się kuliście
i pochłonę cię
zagubione ukrzyżowane pisklę
wedrę się w każdą twoją cząstkę
rozpuszczając nas w jedność
a wtedy zobaczysz
wszystkimi nieznanymi zmysłami
Zacmiennynapiszę ci światMore Like This
podszewką do góry
i stanie się miękka
rozwieszę ją wysoko
ze wszystkich trwań
rozkołyszę dokoła nas
w pnącym się dźwięcznie
i zapełnię malinami
ranę po uchrystusowaniu
obłąkanej do ciebie miłości
nie będzie już krwawić
i powiążesz włóknami dymu
w Verlaine'owskiej do mnie miłości
a spierzchnięte nasze
będą zamarzać w locie
i osypywać się w czerń
nie ma już w nas
Ethlinn - juz nie...gromadzę listyMore Like This
i rzucam na stos jak demony
i rzucam w ściek
niech już nie gładzą
i burzę ściany
niech już nigdy nikt nie krwawi
a uwięziony w półśrodkach ja
ustać nie mogę
i tylko ból
Asthma.I am fine, all is well.More Like This
I am running, spinning, and dancing.
I am free!
I know no cares.
Then it happens.
My rejoicing is cut short.
I feel the darkness encroaching upon me.
I feel my chest begin to constrict.
I fall to my knees, gasping.
I feel the blood begin to slow.
My hands and feet feel as if someone is repetitively jabbing them with needles.
It feels as if someone has just plunged a knife into my chest.
Darkness begins to flood my vision.
It passes over as quickly as a shadow.
I can't breathe!
I am suffocating!
Air flows in and out of my mouth, but that is as far as it goes.
I am as helpless as an aborted child.
In my helpless state the thought of You is my only comfort,
For this weakened state is excruciating!
I am struggling with all that is within me to live.
I try to pull the air in,
But the more I try the more I suffer.
Then my body begins to give up.
It has fought as hard and as long a it can.
Now it only wishes to rest.
I am suffocated to where I meet Death,
But I don't c
Im FineIt's okay im fine,More Like This
My heart has torn itself into pieces, even smaller than the last time,
Im alone all the time, sitting in this room avoiding everything,
This is my sad sanctuary, where i can feel how i want to feel,
But when i leave, i need to wear this facade,
Everyone has problems except for me,
I am the shoulder for others to cry on,
I am the friend who is always there for you,
Im there for you, not for me,
My feelings aren't important while you have problems,
I just wish you could read between the lines,
Know that 'im fine' dosen't mean 'im fine'
I bottle away this emotion,
One day im going to shake it all up,
Explode it onto you and then you'll know how fucked up inside i am,
I have my good days yeah,
Those days i forget i feel like a shell,
Hell i even smile once or twice,
Luagh at a joke,
Say one or two of my own not to cheer you up,
But because i feel like it,
Then the next day it comes back,
Haunts my restless nights,
But it's okay,
Ill bottle it up and save it
Trapped by PositivityI am trapped by hopeMore Like This
Desire for the happing ending all receive
I am bound to a path I don't even respect anymore
Just to achieve a desire I'm not even sure I want
Love is futile here
Fleeting and inaccurate clearly
Otherwise every person in "love"
Wouldn't wind up hurt or dead inside
And still I've become that which I despise
And someday I may learn
But as all things seem
Today is not that day
Today is not that day
Nor tomorrow or any day soon
I'm trapped and don't think I can run anymore
WelcomeWelcome to my lifeMore Like This
I hope you enjoy your visit
Though you won't stay long
No one ever does
Make sure you visit my heart
A place once full of life
Now blackened by time
Be sure to go see my mind
A demented place
Where the thoughts never stop
And rest is never given
Try to avoid my memory
It's full of nothing but misery and horror
Well I hope your stay is pleasant
For it will most likely be the last time
Welcome To My LifeDon't bore me with excuses,More Like This
Today is not the day,
To play with my emotions,
Or to get it your own way.
Retreating, and hiding,
Deep into my shell,
Welcome to my life,
A happy forever in hell.
Calloses and blisters,
Sown into my heart,
Stitches not desolving,
Words taste awefully tart.
A lonely disposition,
Of a heart-breaking decision,
Now alone for evermore,
A dark corner hogging whore.
My object in life,
Is just to make it through,
I doubt my soul is pure,
As forever shouts, "Yes! Her too!"
Caught in quicksand,
On the dege of a blade,
Struggling to stay alive,
Let alone in peaceful glade.
So welcome to my life,
Watch out or you won't see,
You'll fall into the same hell,
In which my life had trapped me.
True LoveI didn't know love until I met you.More Like This
Nothing in my life had ever felt so true.
You were the reason I went day to day,
Washing all of my depression away.
I wish I could make everything all right,
Every second I think of that night.
The way you broke my heart with only few words.
Did more to me than being stabbed by a thousand swords.
I didn't know pain until I met you.
Even know, nothing has ever felt so true.
You used to be the reason I went day to day,
But now your make me wish I could fade away.
Just YesterdayMore Like This
Just yesterday you were holding my hand,
Just yesterday you gave me a wedding band,
Just yesterday you said I do and,
Just yesterday you said you loved me too.
Just yesterday you told me you cared,
Just yesterday you told me about the love we shared,
Just yesterday you said you'd never leave and,
Just yesterday that was all I needed to believe.
Just yesterday you were near,
Just yesterday they told me something I did'nt want to hear,
Just yesterday they buried you deep and,
Just yesterday thoughts of you kept me from sleep.
Just yesterday I finally came to see you,
Just yesterday I missed you more than I usually do and,
Just yesterday I remembered again how much I need you.
Just yesterday has come and gone and,
Just yesterday is just a memory of all that went wrong.
Let Me DieLet me dieMore Like This
Let me die,
It hurts to live,
Let me die,
My soul to give.
I want to die,
Give me rest,
I don't want to try,
Just a bullet in the chest.
Every acrid breath makes sweet death,
Like the gentle touch of a lovers caress.
Let me die,
I beg you please,
Pain and disease
Are only a tease.
Give me a place,
Where I can be free,
Where demons wont chase,
And torture me
The KnowingThe KnowingMore Like This
by jsenn (Joy Senn)
not quite the same
not quite the same as before
before the papered golden ring
before the child from swaddling grew
before the hand of unheard aches
touched us here and here and here
we never knew
I swear to you, we never knew
(we live forever. don't we? nope.)
(does it get better? yup.)
falling leaves . spring renews . summer's sweat
I do digress
now is more
more than before
now we know the knowing
and the power in the word
knowing some mountains won't be climbed
knowing some oceans won't be crossed
knowing the awful wait does end
that patience is not the heavy load
knowing even this
...the rose's scent before the sniff
and this...oh, this, of greater import now
knowing the slightest grin
the unseen move
the imperceptible glint of eye
the elegant, the elegant
there you have it, boiled down
hopes and dreams, love and life
contained by the beginning
smooth assurance, abiding time
VersionYou can't stand meMore Like This
because you don't know who you are
but I know myself.
You have failed, but I have won
everything you ever wanted.
You can't stand me
because I am the bright darkness
the hiding seek-er
the sunny night
You can't stand me-
I am the doubt, the warning, the instinct.
I am the dream you have forgotten
but cannot let go.
I am all the music, everywhere.
You can't stand me
because I talk like you, walk like you-
I look like you, but I am not you.
I am the version of yourself
you didn't have the courage
And you can't stand me
because you can't stand yourself.
ShadesHow can I be happy today?More Like This
How can I enjoy today?
It has been given to me
painted in shades of disappointment
and I cannot see the true colors beneath them.
It is all my fault, and there can be no consolation.
For you, for me, for everyone,
I have failed.
And no matter how many know it or not
the world is less because of it today.
I cannot fix this, I cannot set it right.
Time has wronged me, torn me away
from a few seconds that I desperately need.
What could I have done?
What could I have said?
So many answers to questions
we will never know.
This has happened before, I know
but I cannot remember the steps to take
the thoughts to think
the things to do
in order to bring the sun out again.
I just want to hide in a corner
and wait for the light to appear all on it's own.
Come back to me.
I am more lost than I have ever been
and if there was ever a time I needed you,
it is now.
Missing YouYou're fading in my mindMore Like This
like a picture from a dream
and the longer I try to hold on
the harder I try
to hold on
you slip away.
I now recognize you only
in the turn of a head,
the flick of a hand,
gestures that are you
but always belong to someone else.
I run after them, calling for you,
but the face that turns
the gaze that catches me
"Can I help you?"
Wrong. All wrong.
Wrong puzzled expression.
Wrong uncertain stance.
"Yes" I want to say,
To say so would be a lie
and I can't lie in that moment,
with you so fresh in my mind.
You hated it when
I walk on.
I wait for you.
I listen for you.
I watch for you.
So many times I am mistaken
so many false alarms
so many you's out there
that are not you.
But I have to keep trying.
I have to keep watching
because somehow, I know-
instinctively, I know-
that when I am no longer watching
when I no longer see
I'll lose you.
You'll pass me in the crowd
and I am oblivious
or you'll fade
AbsolutelyThere is no here or there,More Like This
no this or that,
no then or now.
There is no hot or cold,
no black or white,
no life or death.
There is only the grey area,
only a combination of things
that should destroy each other,
A combination of things
that cannot exist in the same space
Because there is no can,
there is no can't.
And when you understand this,
you will be able to understand
that there is no understanding.
There is only this.
There is only now.
This moment is all you have,
and all you will ever be given.
Make it what it needs to be.
The Topsy Turby World we All..The sky began to cryMore Like This
As water fell from
Our eyes in heavy
Droplets of rain.
People in the streets
And smiled in a frown.
It was quite a sight to have
Beheld with your eyes closed.
And the beautifully tragic
Faces of the faceless young men
Made you almost want to weep
In a silent, dry tear fit.
And this is my world that
I would die to live in.
To hear deafly the sounds
Of the crying laughter
That echo from the people I create.
In this brilliantly insane head I navigate.
Color MeColor me pink,More Like This
So I can be that
So deeply in love.
Color me red,
So I can feel
Some anger, some
That is real.
Color me orange,
So I can have that
Bright big smile
Spread across my face
And be happy.
Color me purple,
With a passionate
Look in my eyes,
The look that used to say,
"I want you."
Color me blue,
So i can cry for once,
because my tears
Have been running
So fucking dry.
Color me silver
With a hint of gold
So i can feel important
And on top of the world.
Color me gray
Because that is what
I am, what you make me.
And I would rather be
Than the color gray.
Breaking AwayI'm flying up to the skyMore Like This
And hitting rock bottom
So hard it doesn't even hurt.
With pigs flying all around me
And birds galloping on the ground.
And I'm tired of you thinking
I'm such a beautifully, ugly face.
Feeding me this bull as I spit
Up the shit and wanting to be
Anyone but who I am.
Because I'm not being me when
I'm being you, now am I?
Falling thirty stories up to the
Shortest cliff I have ever seen,
And needing to be anywhere
Than where I am not.
And all of this is so straight
Forward and twisted that I can't
See which way's down.
Realizing everything I have
Ever wanted, is just to break away.
As Hate Does Feed, Love Does..Hate walked into the room, the house of Love,More Like This
Completely ignoring the
Gracious and spacious
Statures littering the floor.
Hate marched right up to Love,
With it's long and flowing
Gowns, so beautiful, it made
A fiery blaze of anger grow in Hate.
Hand raised, ready to strike,
Hate glared it's wild, red eyes
Because Love was simply smiling
It's pleasant little smile, as always.
And Hate seemed overpowered by
This display of absolute forgiveness
That Hate began to weep it's dry
Tears, as it suddenly realized it's own weakness.