ROUND THREE COMMENTS1. Renata vs áResonanceMore Like This
COMMENTS FOR RENATA
BagnaTheSupervillan: áThis entry handled the interactions between Resonance and Renata very well, and the unstable partnership based on glamours, manipulation, and deceit they form by the end provides an interesting situation to explore in future rounds. My biggest complaint about the entry would probably be that it didn't have much focus on any particular story or theme, though the manipulation and deceit going on among all the characters worked pretty well to make the different parts feel fairly unified. This entry was another solid chapter in what's shaping up to be a pretty good story.
Lithicbee: áThis was an interesting entry that contained some subtle and clever plotting. When Thoth brought Renata to Resonance and Koba, I thought, “There better be a payoff for this, because it makes no sense for him to do that.” By the end, I accepted that by putting her there, he took both her and Resonance off the pla
Round 3 P4For the first time in a long time, Thoth allowed himself to sigh. He was…tired. Was that the word for it? Funny, he wasn’t actually sure that he could tell. He had lived so long with mind and emotions carefully neutral, he had lost his ability to take note of the state of his own body. To think, even gods had to worry about such things during the worst of times. It troubled him that that was what this was.More Like This
He looked out onto the wide, dark plains of Hades. He could only see so much from where he stood, but through his books and scrolls, he had seen through the eyes of every mortal and monster that had ever walked those fields, and so knew every speck of dirt, every blade of grass. Every heart, every mind, every soul. And all the terrible imbalance they were burdened with.
For others, it might have just been the natural state of things. The world was not an ordered place, they thought, and to assume otherwise was na´ve. Thoth knew better. This was not the natural way of thi
Round 3 p3Gods didn’t make a great deal of sense. Or at least, the god that had decided to institute himself as Renata’s patron deity certainly didn’t. Last thing she remembered was thinking she was going to die, and when she woke up, she was fine. Not only fine, but in the care of the god she was supposed to kill to get out of this place.More Like This
That instant of finding that out had left her both elated and confused. Now, after talking to Anubis while trying to make up for the fact her glamour had no noticeable effect on him, she was just confused. Apparently, he considered Thoth to be his closest friend and ally, and Thoth appeared to share this sentiment. If that was so, then why had Thoth introduced Renata to Osiris, when he knew what he would ask of her? Why had he dropped the would-be assassin at the feet of her intended target, and his best friend?
She thought on the bird-headed god, with his quiet tone and cryptic words. He was secretive and opaque, but he didn’t seem lik
Round 3 p2Resonance couldn’t scowl—didn’t really have the muscle for it anymore—but if he could, that’s exactly what he would be doing. He considered himself a very good-natured individual (more than good-natured. He was practically beatific. Magnanimous, even) but certain events of late had been trying his patience. Namely, the rapidly increasing size of his current party.More Like This
Koba had been fine. The imp was useful, and wasn’t terrible company, so the skeleton was more than willing to tolerate it at the moment. Then, there was Anubis, who Thoth had delivered unto them just a little while ago. Jackal-head was a bit sensitive for Resonance’s taste—make one joke about his crazy old father and he got all bent out of shape—but he was quiet, and seemed too wary of the group to do much more than observe. But now, now there was one more person, and Resonance hadn’t even been asked for his opinion before she was forced upon them.
Thoth and Anubis h
Round 3 p1More Like This
When had Renata’s life come to encompass so many bad decisions? She had always been told death took a lot of things from a person, but she had never been informed that it also robbed good sense. If she’d had any sense left, though, even an ounce, she wouldn’t be doing this. Could she die again? But ethis time, rather be bumped into another after life, dissolve into the ether? Return to nothing? She wasn’t sure. She also didn’t want to find out.
For the last who-knew-how-long-in-Hades-time she had searched tirelessly for any means with which one could kill a god. In spite of the incredible number of beings banished to Hades, there seemed to be an inexplicable dearth of information on the matter. To make matters worse, Thoth had not once graced her with his presence during that time, and though she supposed he wouldn’t have given her any straight answers anyway, she would have at least liked a clue on where to begin.
Still, with a bit of effort,
Comments for Round Two - Part Two9. Dice vs FinleyMore Like This
COMMENTS FOR DICE
BagnaTheSupervillan: This entry succeeded at advancing the overall story (albeit in vague, mysterious ways) while also effectively introducing Dice post-memory wipe. Finley was portrayed well early in the entry during his conversation with Dice, and combining his and Dice's abilities was fairly creative, but he didn't really show much personality after that initial dialogue. My biggest problem with this entry is that the majority of it felt like an unnecessary diversion from the actual story, with Dice and Finley's random monster encounter being largely predictable and Dice and Finley's journey together having no apparent consequences to the ongoing story. Your round one entry was a good example of how to make a self-contained story with your opponent feel meaningful even when it doesn't have any lasting effects on the overall story, but this entry mostly felt like it was stalling for time.
Lithicbee: Your artw