don't bend too far.keep breathing,More Like This
they tell you, but
you are tracing your self-inflicted scars,
lit up by moonlight. you are dancing recklessly,
eyes closed, waiting to collide with something, anything. you are
closed ears, icy blood, darkened dreams,
almost-broken lungs, and they say
keep breathing, keep
you have no time to listen
to things you don't understand.
horror stories seem much brighter at night,
and hope fades in comparison. see, you have
glass running through your veins, waiting
to pierce your heart, running faster and faster
until they collide with your lungs, and
you can't breathe.
you are killing yourself, slowly,
with too-much-depression and
you look to memories for comfort,
thinking you might find hope
in them, but
you can't remember things
that never existed.
losing.i.More Like This
my eyes are hollow.
happiness is hiding from me,
silence is stalking, suffocating.
how do i smile?
the roads are too long, too
slippery. it's too easy to get lost.
and i have no map.
could someone be my map?
'you haven't lost
until you've given up,'
they remind me.
'don't give up.'
sometimes i wonder -
what if i already have given up?
have i lost, then?
stop asking me to breathe, please.
stop asking me to live.
stop asking me to be happy.
i don't want to.
if God could see me now,
what would He think of me?
[it can't be good.]
sunshine hurts my eyes.
the only cage i'm in is one i've made myself.
why, then, can't i break out of it?
'i believe in you.'
but you shouldn't.
but you shouldn't.
[i'm not worth it.]
my heartbeats sound suffocated.
please don't leave.
ashes.the sky is all ashes today, painted black with the burnt ruins with what-used-to-be.More Like This
words are all i have left, so i guess i should say them, even if you'll never hear them:
i would've painted the world pink for you, just to make you smile [even though we both know i'd rather it be blue]. i would've jumped off a bridge with you, felt the wind screaming into my skin and fear rushing through my being, just to hold your hand. i would've ripped down all my glass walls if it meant you'd let me in.
we could've drawn a map of the world and then, maybe, we wouldn't feel so lost. but we'd probably screw it up anyway since we're both bad at directions, but hey, it'd be a laugh, right?
and i'd do anything to hear your laugh.
we could've drawn hearts onto the backs of our hands just to match. we could've caught dragonflies in the summer, and i'd tell you maybe they know what happy feels like.
you would've understood.
we could've hidden under the covers during the thunderstorms, and i'd tell
Is She Me Or YouMy life is hellMore Like This
my dreams have withered
The snakes crawl by
inside they sliver
my heart quakes with fear
and my hands begin to sweat
my head starts to pound
and it's not over yet
The hell hound still watches
as I fade away
my appearance becomes less visible
day by day
and the smile I wore before
has melted with the sun
the rain pours on a frown
and I know I've come undone
Their eyes are like ice
I've been betrayed
There is no emotion
only searing pain
and the goody two shoes notions
I thought I'd save
have given me nothing but sorrow
and taken my name
No one knows who I am
Only who I pretend to be
I'm always fine, I say
But who do I believe
How could others trust me
When I never trusted myself
This is the fate I've spun
This is the lie I've felt
And everything is unclear
I can't see in the dark
the night begins its descent
And hatred has left its mark
And now there is only a woman
with no love for herself
And words no longer reach her
her heart has gone deaf
But as I gaze in the mirror
Where is She?The little one stares in disappointmentMore Like This
What have you done?
I cannot grasp the reality
I cannot grasp the Enchanted One.
Reach my hands out desperately
But you are as untouchable as the sky
It's something I can only gaze upon
I MUST NOT TELL MY LIES!
I bade farewell to her long ago
Silently, she sleeps, Deep inside my soul.
And she begs me, she begs me,
she begs me to go.
But my heart is a wounded animal
I cannot control.
The little one stares with her blank eyes
How could this ever come to be?
Wrap her up in big black trash bags
hide her body beneath the kudzu leaves.
And she begs me, and she begs me
She begs me not to leave her alone.
Darling, you're still inside here.
...You never left my soul.
when i look in the mirror.one.More Like This
things you touch turn silent.
hearts can be blacked, burnt, ashy - but you take the ashes and burn, burn, burn them until there's only a memory left, a memory that's all edges and icicles.
you leave me cold, empty and
i don't want to breathe anymore.
'darling, you would do well to remember-
you can't have a light at the end of the tunnel
if you have no tunnel.
darling, you would do well to remember -
you are not empty. you are not empty.
[it's still hurting, after all. it's still hurting
and you don't want to live,
but you're not empty.]
darling, you would do well to remember-
they love you. they love you,
they love you.
even if you're not sure why.'
you wish gravity would hurry up and take you.
maybe then you'd finally crash, instead of falling all the time.
maybe then it'd be over.
there is a war in your eyes, a fight for survival, a will to breathe, live, smile again.
you miss the laughter and the light you used to have. you miss making people smile.
Love itI feel your hands in my hair.More Like This
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.
I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.
I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.
I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love.
I taste your passion.
I taste you and I love it.
I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and
Theatre Trapeze Theatre TrapezeMore Like This
Hand in hand, side by side, we sat
Under the ticking filtered sky
The flickering stars mesmerised us,
Only for a moment.
There under the purple twilight,
On the soft blue grass, we shared
Chicken and lamb.
You smiled and I blushed.
Your kiss and my kiss.
As the suspended stars went on strike mid-air,
We made our own show.
The sun came and rained on our parade,
But we went on into Act II anyway.
The audience smiled and applauded.
When the curtain rose for our finale,
We were trundling away, eyes fixated on houses.
Snails, millions of minutes and a collective plural later,
We climbed our ladders for our final trick,
As we parted, hearts broke, lips pined and we landed,
On the worn seats of the loyal servants of our jailers.
With that, our show lay like sleeping beauty
Pining for the kiss of life.
Has it been a century yet?
Long Distance RelationshipMonths togetherMore Like This
Without a touch
On mind and soul
Not a touch
Yet such love
As lasts throughout
Through such strife
As most see
Within a lifetime
We've battled through
And stayed true
You and me
I can, Can you?Why must I lie in wait,More Like This
With you a thousand miles away,
While everyone whispers in my ear,
"You won't Love her in a year."
"Things will never be alright,"
"You both will start to lie,"
"There someone better out there,"
"Somone you know will Care."
Voices all around my head,
Warping things that I have said,
What if they might be right?
I cant help but think at night.
Will you always be faithful?
Or will you be deceitful?
Will you still wait for me?
If for a year we dont meet?
It may be a long while,
Before I see your smile,
The time may become too much,
For us to be without touch.
Can you handle this burden?
Could you still wait for me then?
I'm scared to the point of tears,
Because I've known your past years.
You've always had someone near,
And I know I won't be here.
You've always had one to hold,
And the days ahead look cold.
And even now there's tension,
With little things we've mentoned,
I dont want to fight with you,
But it always seems you do.
I cannot take this feeling,
The BindI miss your lips against mineMore Like This
Softly pressing down on mine
Forgetting to take a breath
Sucking in each other's breath.
I miss your hands on my body
Sliding your hands on my body
Enduring every shiver
Oh, how you make me shiver.
Our eyes piercing through the darkness.
We, together, are the darkness
Gliding through each other's bodies.
You are my body.
Trapping every sound,
Trapping every word,
Trapping every touch.
Somewhere SomewhereMore Like This
My nose against the glass trying to find you. I know youre there somewhere. Over those purple mountains and down that miserable highway - Ill find you. Your nose against the glass trying to find me All the pain and sleepless nights is because of this space between us.
Destination: -Your Name Here-She searches for that feelin' and i wait for itMore Like This
it is one of those feelings that makes life worth living
we can't touch but i still can feel her
i'm feelin' her
i can't hear her voice but i can see her words and her words only
i'm feelin' her words and i'm lonely
don't know if that feelin' is love or lust or just some other kind of connection
the only thing between us is she is there and i am here
our mutual feelings are oh so clear
i need our feelings to be also near
we discuss the definition of that feelin'
and it is she who i'm softly killin'
with my words and my words only
she says she's lonely
she say's she's feelin' my words
she's succ'n on my nouns and i'm eatin' her verbs
we're lost becuz we're in lust and we need directions
affections felt across a great distance
our destination is each other
we gotta get to one another
so we can be each other's luvher
but how will we know when we've made it to our destinations
we try to get to love but always end up in lust or just some other
EmoSo what if I'm emo?More Like This
So what if I cry?
I'm not THAT emotional,
I dont want to die.
So what if I dress in a different style?
There's no need to scream and run for a mile
I dont like to cut and abuse my arm,
I am not depressed,
so why cause self harm?
Could it be that I am just like you?
That I can smile, giggle and laugh along too?
Could it be that I am happy with myself?
It's just that I am not some pretty doll on the shelf.
Could it be that the only reason i dye my hair black;
Is because I dont want to be some barbie in a bimbo girl pack.
These are the reasons, and I'll tell you why,
that I dont look in the mirror and start to cry.
I know Im not perfect,
I'm sure you will agree
But I am so very positive,
as positive as can be
That Im not like you,
Oh dont make me laugh!
I dont spend hours on my make-up's mask
I'm totally self-confident,
Ill smile for all to see.
Because the great thing about being emo,
Is that I am happy, with just being me.
Dont be afraid of who you are.<
We live in a plastic society.You've become a part of what you always hated,More Like This
Part of a society which is so over-rated.
And you no longer see,
That beauty comes from within,
You're convinced that all that matters
Is your blemish-free skin.
Cause no one ever told you it was okay to be yourself,
Instead of a fake barbie doll,
Sitting on society's shelf.
Now you're 18 and saving up your money,
To go to the doctor and get rid of your tummy,
Because you're so caught up in the plastic parade,
That of the real you you're now completely afraid.
But I see through you,
Through the mask you wear,
Of a million layers of make up,
And your oh-so gorgeous hair.
Past your perfect figure,
And your beautiful disguise,
And I see what's really there,
Cause it's written in your eyes.
You've become an object,
An oompa loompa hiding
Behind a fake tan peel.
And so you're living a lie,
Because you're scared to be true,
Scared of what people will say,
If you start being you.
But maybe i'm the one not seeing,
Maybe i'm the
I'd do anythingI'd give you my soul,More Like This
I'd give you my heart,
I'd give you anything you wanted.
If only I could be with you,
If only for an hour,
If only for a second.
I loved you then,
I love you now,
I will love you forever.
The Guardian AngelI am, and always will be, the guardian angelMore Like This
Meant to protect your heart
Defend your innocence
And forever serve the light
My soft touch will heal your body
My lilting voice will soothe your soul
My caring eyes will give you strength
My white wings will protect you from darkness
I will help you to continue on
Through darkness, heartache, pain
Heal what the dark has done unto you
Always be near when you call
I will watch as you walk away from me
With happiness in your soul again
For this is what brings me true delight
To guide the lost, to lead the followers
I ask nothing from you in return
Though some wish to bruise my body
I will stand tall for those who need me
The lost souls within the last world
I remain alone, I stand alone
What I am is both a gift, a curse
And in order to protect you
I must defend myself
Is It Love?If I hugged you,More Like This
would you never let go?
If I kissed you,
would you cherish that moment?
If I reached for your hand,
would you take mine gently?
If I needed a shoulder,
would you let me cry on yours?
If I needed to talk,
would you really listen?
If I needed to scream,
would you do it with me?
If I needed to go,
would you come with me?
If I fell for you,
would you catch me?
or just let me hit the pavement?
I broke a mirrorI broke a mirror today.More Like This
What it showed me horrified me, so it didn't deserve to live.
The mirror's image was terrible,
it was an ugly mirror, it lied.
It deserved to die.
I crushed it into a million beautiful,sparkling shiny peices with my clunky bare hands.
They carved into my already torn skin, spillling lovely rivulets of red onto the floor.
The mirror was beautiful now that my reflection was gone from it.
whistlermanCome sit by me and listen toMore Like This
The story I shall tell,
About a man who learned the skill
Of whistling very well.
He stood upon a mountaintop
Beneath the rising sun,
And gazed upon the valley fields
Before the song begun.
The valley fields stretched endlessly
Between twin glinting seas,
The mountain which he stood upon
Sat high above the trees.
But whyd he choose a mountaintop
To whistle out his tune?
The notes would make the valleys laugh
And make his lady swoon.
She lived in a small wooden house
Amid the lilac field;
Her feelings toward the whistler-man
She never had revealed.
She sat upon her wooden roof
And glanced up at the sky.
But she heard naught but chirping birds
And she began to sigh.
Shed waited there for hours now-
The chores had been complete,
With nothing left to do, she thought,
Why not stay on my seat?
As soon as she began to doubt
A whistle met her ear;
She listened to her lovers song
Until the stars grew clear.
The song was high
leafishyou and your leafishMore Like This
summer hands, smooth with raised veins
your long olive fingers pick up my own
(my little languid pale twigs)
they offer salutations and caress
and keep each other warm,
from day to night to dawn
and then the summer ends,
and leaves begin to fall,
the night sparkles have been dulled by daylight,
twin hearts, we must part.
alone walking by the road
on little languid pale legs,
autumn breeze sweeping my thoughts away
in remembrance of the last lost summer-
me and the wind: alonely and desolate
but then a leaf falls into my hands,
and you are there
truths beyond truthsyou are my rising dawn;More Like This
the face of the sun illuminating my world.
your smile luminous as the midnight moon,
with speckled stars of laughter.
your hands deep and rich as april rains,
caressing the barren land; bringing growth and ardor.
and rosebud-pink lips, twin petals
which open rarely into vibrant bloom.
eyes open, they are a window to worlds apart,
a strange enticing language i yearn to learn.
and the incessant beat of the illustrious heart,
each time i hear it in a livelier tempo.
some days i can't believe you are real. on days i don't hear from you, and most likely haven't heard from you in a long time- you are invisible. a wind of thought blows you into my head, but who- where- are you?
all i have is a strange enticing necklace.
and the words i've written.
and the memories.
and then there are other days, where i feel your invisible presence, following me through days of solitude. i carry you around my neck and sense your exist
luhhh mehLove me in the springtime, dear!More Like This
Love me in the rain!
Love me when Im very strange.
Love me when Im sane.
Love me as a foolish child.
Love me when Im old.
Love me when Im smitten,
Also love me when Im cold.
Love me when Im furious.
Love me when Im shy.
Love me when I scream and shout
And hide and run and cry.
Love me when success is mine.
Love me when I fail.
Love me when I write you poems
And when I send you mail.
Love me on the telephone.
Love me in the car,
Love me when Im next to you
And also when Im far.
Love me in our arguments.
Love me when we fight.
Love me in the morning,
In the evening, in the night.
Love me when I sway your views
On politics or meat,
Love me when I ditch my shoes
And walk with naked feet.
Love me when I nag you on
The tasks you've failed to do,
Love me when I try to make
Things better when you're blue.
Love me in delirium.
Love me when I glow.
Love me when a tiny trace
Of fear begins to show.
Love me when
i claimi love the warm summer rains,More Like This
the tickling tendrils of grass,
rolling through wildflowers.
i love the silent winter snows,
the tickle of january winds,
the laughter of nightingales.
i love the indigo curtain of sky,
speckled with scintillating stars
and the watchful eye of the moon.
i love the world,
and its tempests,
and its peace,
i can turn the tempests into peace,
i can have the patience to wait out the storm,
i can turn the real world into my own
redredMore Like This
the lowest wavelength of visible light
ruby, crimson, vermillion, sangria, amaranth, carmine, scarlet
the cape of a matador swishing with fury
the enticing apple eve thrust into adam's hand
the vivid lipstick of a sly showgirl
the whir and blur of a speeding fire truck
lacy doilies slipped between shy valentines
precious homegrown july cherries
the velveteen attire of munificent santa claus
paul revere's warning: the solemn redcoats
sanguine blood overflowing from generations of war
a pigment of flags all over the world
el paso sunsets shaded by saguaros
a jeering second-place ribbon, never first-rate
aged wines reposing in cellars for decades
sultry foxes slinking after ruddy chickens
blinking flashing dashing police sirens
nathanial hawthorne's "a" for adultery
cute and cozy tiered pagodas of east asia
the generous gowns of renaissance nobility
the scarlet cap of a poisonous agaric mushroom
the whirling blemish on the crimson face of jupiter
innocent petals on drowsy poppies