Mommy's Suicide Mom... Did you just...
Pills and whiskey down her throat
As she slowly stumbles down the stairs.
Through her cries and regret
She begins crashing into walls.
"Call 911!" I yell, as I begin holding my mother
After she collapsed, her head hitting the floor.
I hear police sirens outside our home.
My sister runs through the front door in fear.
The paramedics begin asking her things
That she barely knew the answer to.
"What's your name?"
"Do you know where you are?"
And most importantly..
"Why did you do it?"
"I didn't want to bother her anymore."
Hold meHold meMore Like This
and make this
kiss my scars
to make it all
just hold me
and let me cry
wrap me in your
just to see me smile
just let me heal
I am not as happyas I seemI am notMore Like This
as I seem
and so numb
happy is just
not a feeling
that I know
cause I am
Except for youI'm theMore Like This
the plastic smile
and I'm the girl
with the laugh
I am the girl who
and I am the
wants no one
except for you
I may beI may be laughingMore Like This
I ma be crying
I may be dying inside
behind this keyboard
and you would never
know cause I can hide
my feelings behind
and you'll never
I could want to
crawl up and
die and you
wouldn't ever know
cause I wouldn't
let you know
Live without music... impossibleI can'tMore Like This
live with out
it helps to
that scream at
me inside my
I ever thought
this numbing pain
but now music
well its still
needed but so are
Your the angelYour theMore Like This
Your the angel
that I've been
YouWords cant explainMore Like This
how much your name
runs around inside my
and the thought
of talking with
on my face
to bother me
when I am thinking
I am glad
that I got you
I am so luckyI am soMore Like This
I get to have
and you calling
I am so lucky
I get to have
you saw something
no one ever sees
I am so lucky
you saw me
Today I criedToday I criedMore Like This
locked myself away
curled in a ball
until I slept
but to wake with more
I am melting and
the worse is
no one knows
I smile just to
put them off
and I don't mind
cause I cried
and no one was hurt
Dear Bullies,From ShadAlex1011More Like This
You see that 15-year-old girl holding hands with her one-year-old son that you called a slut?
She was raped at 13.
You see that boy crying that you made fun of for being a cry-baby?
His best friend committed suicide last night.
You see that girl that you make fun of for having all those bruises?
She is abused by her parents.
You see that bald woman that you made fun of?
She is dying of breast cancer.
You see that old man that you called ugly?
He got a serious injury to his face in the war.
You see that man that you made fun of for having all those burns?
He ran into a burning hospital to save his dead daughter.
You see that girl that you called fat?
She is starving herself.
You see that boy you called stupid?
He has Down Syndrome.
Favorite this journal and re-post if you are against bullying.
ForgottenSometimes I wish I could jump up,More Like This
Fly up into the sky.
Once there, I would play among the clouds and bask in the sun.
But reality hits me,
And I am falling through the cloud of happiness and love,
Because I was to heavy for it,
Because the cloud couldn't hold me.
I fall from the sky of joy,
I fall till I hit the ground of depression, and I hit it hard.
I am tied to the ground, captured.
I am forced to watch people float by on their own clouds of love,
While I am sad and alone down here.
I cannot fly.
I forgot how long ago.
SongsHave you ever heard the cooing of Love?More Like This
Coming from afar, silent, until it sneaks up on you, and bang!
How it is gentle, and sometimes harsh.
I have heard this song.
I wonder, have you?
Have you ever heard the screeching of Grief?
Hitting you hard, and loud and startling, and as time goes on, it fades away.
How it tugs at your heart and pulls you down into the mud before letting you go free.
I have heard this song.
I wonder, have you?
Have you ever heard the cawing of Hope?
Always there, silent in the background, until you look for it and find it.
How it inspires you, how it lets you fly free.
I have heard this song.
I wonder, have you?
I hope you find these sounds.
I hope you search for these songs.
Because they are worth hearing.
BlackMy eyes scan each person, watching them.More Like This
I find each one of their faults.
I judge them, ignore them.
For I shall ignore them if this is all they showed me,
I shall hate them if they never even tried to show love,
I shall hurt them harsher then they ever hurt me.
I despise the smiles and laughs from them.
They all seem so happy. Their lives are perfect.
But me, no, I am nothing.
I will never know what they did.
They will live on, never knowing I was there,
And I shall wither away in the dark caverns of my empty soul.
They are too ignorant to know pain, they are too free.
While they eat, and play, and love,
I am bound in chains by the remorse and dread of my sorrow and self-pity that I have conjured a cell with.
I can never escape this cell,
For my chains are too strong, and the door has no key.
Even if I am to escape,
A ghost of the past shall linger,
Hurting and reminding, tearing the feelings of joy, until it has eaten my heart and left in rotten, unable to love ever again.
I can not
I'm Just A PoetI'm just a poetMore Like This
Stringing together words
In a way that tries to force you to feel,
To understand what I feel.
I'm just a manipulator
Gaining recognition by
Warping what you understand
Trying to change your emotions
Till they fit my own.
I'm just an instigator
Using my words
To try and lead you along a path
That was created in anger
And fueling your passion to follow it
Until you can't even remember
Why you followed this way.
I'm just an interpreter
Translating your feelings into words
While ignoring the very fact
That in doing so
I'm ruining the very thing
That made these feelings so powerful
But I don't care
I'm just a recorder
Writing the pain of a person,
Of a entire nation
With a few measily words
While deluding myself
That this actually helps someone,
That writing the same pain
In a different way actually
Makes anything less painful.
Priding myself that my words
May one day move people
To change the world
When all they actually do
Is garner a few mo
That Hot MomentI get really really mad,More Like This
When he send me those kisses in the chat,
cause I think -''He gives them to every girl he knows!"
But that feeling... here it goes...
That strong beating in my chest,
He makes me forget all the rest...
And only think about his words...
Then everything around just blubs...
It's only his burning desire,
to taste his lips, to feel you're on fire...
it gets hot and you shiver...
Your eye are filled with glitter...
You know girl, that his hug,
will fast become your drug.
Your Poetry SucksYes, roses are redMore Like This
And violets are blue
But you have to understand
Who said they had to,
Its about imagination
Emotion and orignality
Not the reiteration
Of dead men's practicality
They are your sentence
To a world that has to listen
As you create the difference
Whether it be
With angst poem against love
Or how you set your heart free
To fly like a dove,
For these words
Whether or not they be true
Their beauty and ideals
Will be used to define you,
Hope ,in fact, has feathers
And like a caged bird it sings
But these words will only be tethers
That strip you of your wings,
Those are their words
Meant for their time
And meant for their herds,
But this your time
Meant for your words
And whether they be meaningful, stupid
Or completely absurd
I'm sure they'll be amazing.
dumbI tried to patch the holes in my heartMore Like This
with bright, red yarn
but sometimes the sewing doesn't stick
as expected, it didn't work by far
quarreling with myself, is becoming a war
I showed you my own home
picture frames ,imaginative fame , slightly vain
you showed me your home too,
love and warmth and home cooked foods
all that i could chew, more than i could chew
I never wanted to leave
I could never leave
Knight at nightOnce upon a cold wintery night,More Like This
There live a gallantly humble knight.
Who ended the terrible demon's reign,
In a bitterly cold and misty rain.
As such is his destined role,
To see the villain's head roll.
His tales will keep monsters idle,
While giving little kids an idol.
But alas he fell due to a simple flu,
Reminiscing his days that simply flew.
Remembering back when he was a minor,
His dad was mearly a little miner.
He did not forget his humble root,
While he travel through his fated route.
As he tugs on fate's last seam.
A hero fallen to sickness it seem.
Just remember the humble little knight,
Who went quietly on a cold winter night.
Incognito.You won't remember me but you did not forget me.More Like This
To have been forgotten, one must had been remembered.
To lose something one must have had it.
for you can't lose or forget what was not.
i was not forgotten, I simply was not known.
i did not had the pleasure to have or been had.
I do exist, even though my essence is ignored
I am not seen, I am not heard,
though I am always there.
I am not remembered, no i am not known
but from now on i hoped to be acknowledge.
I hope to be remembered,
for i will forever look over your shoulder
Does not existLove Does not Exist.More Like This
For it is lust,
that we cannot Resist.
it's simply an illusion.
casting upon us,
a simple lie pollution.
human's are so folly,
we`re easily deceived,
and fallen into melancholy.
when we can`t fill that void
we blame it on fate,
and say we are being toyed.
you may think i am sad,
or i can only hate.
but i`m not really mad,
my mind is not twisted.
i just want you to know,
that love never existed.
You Were Made of Slimy WhispersI wish my penMore Like This
was a razor
I write on my
would turn red
instead of black
and rid my body
of the poison
you tainted me with.
Playing with shadowsShould you find yourself broken,More Like This
don't count on me to fix you.
For your tears are wasted.
Should you find yourself wounded,
don't count on me to heal you.
For your blood is poison.
Should you find yourself crying for help,
don't count on me to aid you.
For your cries echo through empty halls.
Should you find yourself lost again,
don't count on me to come find you.
For you are alone.
Darkness is merciless.
So why do you play with shadows?
The DreamIt starts with a CardinalMore Like This
pitching itself against a window
and then I find my mom
dead in her closet,
her lifeless leg
sticking out from a pile of clothes.
I run into the living room
only to find myself
surrounded by paper dolls
on the carpet.
in my gut and I think,
I open my eyes a bit,
just enough to get a hazy glimpse
of my bedroom,
to feel the pillow beneath my head,
and then I’m outside.
It’s a wintry night
and I’m walking through
an empty playground,
snow above my ankles,
breath visible before me.
A teenage girl is on the
swing set, her legs pumping
into the frigid air,
her body rhythmically
rising to the height of the
a clock hangs,
4-7-15do(n't) noticeMore Like This
the cuts embedded
in my flesh;
wrinkled, the skin-
how tragic, i've
(for a dash of optimism,
the delicate exterior that
every human being possesses
and i still don't look
a day older than i did years ago.
Live Through ThisTonight, don't pick up that knife,More Like This
You're worth it, please let me help you,
In saving your own life
Tonight, hold your head up,
Look into the mirror,
And gaze into your own eyes
I'm betting you'll be surprised,
At just what I'm thinking you will find
We struggle...to breathe
We fight...to believe
We hope...to die
Even while we pray to survive
Hold onto the memories,
Of each and every really good thing
Let go of all the pain you feel,
So much hurts, it seems unreal
Hold onto the friends you've made,
Even all the ones who've gone away
Remember what it means to miss,
This is what will happen, if you don't live through this
Tonight, it's ok,
To shiver in your arms,
And to feel so afraid
But, tonight you can't,
Surround yourself with the worries,
About things you can never change
Living in your past,
Means your future is denied...
We fight...to live
Thinking we've nothing...left to give
We feel...we can't go on
And we are so very wrong
Hold onto the things you love,
Take that strength, and
My Mother Found a Suicide NoteI'm going to paintMore Like This
these white walls red
with a loaded gun
and the pull of a trigger.
Say goodbye to all
of my worries and insecurities
and add another notch to my razor.
Another handful of pills
to take away the pain
and the lies of yesterday.
Inhale the poison
to quicken the disease
that's slowly killing me.
Allow the numbness
to run through my bloodstream
and silence my demons.
My body is becoming cold
and I cannot feel a thing anymore.
The white walls are red,
my razor has another notch,
the lies of yesterday are gone,
the disease has reached my heart,
and my demons are quiet.
It Was Never You...It really wasn't...More Like This
And I know that I can twist this truth as much as I want...
Whenever I'm sober, when I know I can put up that fake plastic smile;
Just a few formal words that burn like acid from a liar's lips!
"Differences in personality, a divergence in ideals..."
Please, fucking, SPARE ME!
Because when I look in this mirror, I know.
When I see myself looking back at me, I know.
Right here, right in front of my own blackened self;
Those eyes that both reflect and stare into my dingy soul.
I was the problem.
I was the instigator.
I was the perpetrator.
And when I had broken every last bit of her,
I was the one, who let it all fall to pieces.
So please, you don't have to feel sorry for me,
I am a bastard and I've got a very special place in hell waiting for me...
- Word of Chen, Darkest Hour, 16th February 2015
A Letter For YouAs I pass,More Like This
My love was true.
As I die,
Read this letter for you.
I'm wasn't as tall.
I started to crumble,
Then I started to fall.
I may have acted shy,
I may have talked small.
But when I'm was with you,
I tore down my wall.
I would never leave,
Which created a lie.
Breaking my promise,
Made you cry.
You had no clue,
As to what was true.
You tried something new.
You tried to cut,
Which soon failed.
Your body dangled high,
Causing it to flail.
Now and forever,
I stay behind your door.
I sit in your drawer.
The death count rose,
From one to two.
Without reading me,
Leaves the love untrue.
HE, sees thee.
He strongly warns,
You're alone for eternity.
MisgenderedFirst things first: you wake up. You know, to the usual sound of Mother’s soft melodious singing while she cooks breakfast for you and your sister. You glance at the clock: it’s 6:30AM and somehow you manage to roll out of bed. When your mother sees you slouching in the kitchen she says “Goodmorning, Dear. Lovely bedhead.” She giggles, amused by her own self. You groan and continue walking like a Neanderthal to the table. The sweet aroma of Mother’s cooking only makes you sleepier, but the emptiness in your stomache is the only thing keeping you awake.More Like This
You then notice your sister hasn’t come down yet, your mother has noticed too.
“Elizabeth!” she shouts, “Come down to breakfast!”
You hear a soft groan coming from her room.
“Elizabeth! Breakfast is getting cold!”
That reminds you, you’re starving. You walk into the kitchen and take in the wonderful breakfast smell: Mom’s homemade pancakes with bacon. You
JackPale lips.More Like This
Flowers and bows.
A long time ago.
Blue in his eyes.
And stars now, too.
So far away.
He begs me to stay.
But I'm already gone.
Always something wrong.
Forget the tears,
Forget the smile.
I will die
Forget the laughter,
Forget the pain.
Love itI feel your hands in my hair.More Like This
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.
I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.
I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.
I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love.
I taste your passion.
I taste you and I love it.
I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
I Am NotI am not Ugly; you're just holding the mirror wrong.More Like This
I am not Blind; I just love to listen.
I am not Retarded; I just learn differently than you.
I am not ADHD; the world just fascinates me.
I am not Depressed; this is how I smile
I am not Fat; I'm just as big as my heart.
I am not Bisexual; I want to share my love with all.
I am not Cross-eyed; One eye sees beauty in this universe,
the other looks towards my future.
Before you think you may have the answer, on who I'm supposed to be,
I am not Special; I'm just being me.
plumbumshe has a heart of goldMore Like This
and she, a heart of lead
and she, a heart of uranium.
and they go walking sometimes, the three of them.
gold is confident in her worth,
bought and sold and bought and sold
the virgin whore
and lead behind,
heart heavy in her chest
guilt from bullets
and pride from pipes
and anxiety from irreparable brain damage
and somewhere off to the side treads uranium,
white skin glowing,
thin frame for a dense core.
I'm FineMore Like This
Im fine really
No really Im fine
Why am I crying?
Im not crying
I just have something in my eye
I swear Im fine
Really I am
No hard feelings
Why are you pushing me?
I already told you Im fine
No Im not depressed
What do you mean whats on my arm
The cat scratched me, thats all
No I didnt cut myself
People who do that are crazy
I didnt cut myself
Dont think youre that special that I would want to do that
Why wont you leave me alone?
Just leave me alone
Thats all I ask
Youre not that important anyway
What do you mean I need help?
I dont need help
You need help
Youre the one who wont leave me alone
Theres nothing wrong with me
Im perfectly normal
No I am not cutting!!!!!!!
Leave me alone
Just leave me be
Let me go to my room
I slowly slid it across my wrist
Letting it rip into the warm, tender flesh
This is what they get for pushing me
Introductions"Hi, I'm-"More Like This
"I know who you are."
"You're the guy who thinks he's invisible."
"I have a name-"
"It isn't important. Because you really don't think it's important."
"All right. Since we've started out this way, let me just tell you, I know you too."
"You're the girl who is broken."
"I am not broken."
"You're the girl whose eyes close every night and open the next morning, only to find you have never slept at all."
"I sleep well. Besides-"
"You're the girl who dreams of a happy ending even though she has seen seventeen...no, eighteen unhappy ones in her eighteen years."
"Happy endings are over rated. And you're-"
"You're the girl who wants something bigger, something stronger, just so the weakness in her body becomes something so much more."
"You don't understand weakness the way-"
"You're the girl whose heart broke when she was so young, and she fixed it back together with superglue, but cannot ignore the cracks."
"Superglue makes for a good companion, especially when-"
Suicide.Goodbye, tonight.More Like This
My last fright, our last fright.
When it comes I'll look away,
Begin to pray, I'm that afraid;
No, it's not a play.
When you see, you'll feel all you've done to me.
How I came to be, how I split in 3.
Just be sure to always remember me.
Now I'm ready,
Can't feel greedy.
Goodbye, here comes the levity;
To see me free,
From all the cheating, thieving, leaving,
All need me, just hear me, can't see me, goodbye lovely.
SuicideI just want to die.More Like This
Oh please, allow me
To leave and to fly
Above the blue sea.
I just want to try
To save all of thee
Who fall and who cry;
But you cannot see
My will and my heart!
You're neglecting me
As well as my art.
No more will I be
The ghost that protects
Each of your beauties.
I, too, will neglect
Your so profound seas.
No one sees my soul;
Its brightness will be
Swallowed by the fools.
Oh God, I'm sorry
The SuicideSlit my wrist,More Like This
I lay to die.
Out of my mind.
Yet the body stays stiff like cement.
Please,I beg you dear,
leave your sins at the door.
Where 'O' where is your God ?
After life, after no life at all.
Now, or, then.
Came the funeral.
Beautiful when dead.
He kissed my lips
So pale, dark eyes, red lips,
I lay in the box.
Suicide.I'm on my hands,More Like This
I'm on my knees.
You've got me begging,
Please don't go;
Don't leave me here.
Just hold me close,
Don't hold her near.
You were my life;
Now on my heart
You've left a mark.
It's a large mark;
A break, you see,
That's slowly dominating
All of me.
So now you walk;
You walk away.
Not knowing that
I will die today.
And Daddy always lied.My legs are covered in bruisesMore Like This
And I have a scar by my left eye.
I’m not allowed to smile, though
And I’m not allowed to cry.
I think my right arm’s broken
But shh, don’t tell my dad.
He doesn’t like to worry bout me
When he’s already mad.
I have a burn on my left wrist
From when he pushed my arm
Against the stove, the hot, hot stove
And did a bit of harm.
I have a bear, a teddy bear.
He doesn’t have a name.
He makes me better every time
I’m feeling hurt and shame.
Today, my dad came home kind of late
A beer still in his hand.
I closed my eyes and waited.
He screamed, he shouted, and…
Well, my name is Mary Starr
And this is how I died.
But daddy always loved me.
And daddy always lied.
Mommy, He's LyingMommy, he said it, he said it was true.More Like This
Mommy, he said it, he said "I love you."
Mommy, he said it, he said it was real
Mommy, please know how to think, how i feel
Mommy, this love is the truth, it's the way
Mommy, he said it, he said it today.
Mommy, he's lying, he's lying to me
Mommy, he's telling a lie, can't you see?
Mommy, he never did mean what he said
Mommy, his voice is pounding in my head.
Mommy, he's lying, his love isn't pure
Love's a disease and he's finding the cure.
Mommy, he's lying, what else can I say...
Mommy, he hit me, he killed me today.
Mommy, he lied to me, why did he lie?
Mommy, he lied through his tears, through his cries
Mommy, his lies I just couldn't see through
Mommy, he lied to me.
What'd I ever do?
to the boy who doesn't plan on leavinghow much of me can you swallow, loveMore Like This
before you finally purge?
I am a cartographer of bad
experiences; I can locate
precisely where I see our divergence
extraordinaire and I can tell you
before I have even met you
that the skin on my hands is too
dry for the softness you plan
on caressing me with.
let me tell you how this ends;
I will show you all the people
I have destroyed - flooded
to the best of my ignorance,
driven wild with jealousy,
had whipped with lust and left
smoking pot after four
promises stating otherwise.
let me tell you how this ends;
after showing you the blessed
catastrophe it is to be human,
you will destroy me. you may not mean much
but god, my heart
will make sure
I never miss people who leave.
I miss the ones I walk away from
with guilt tainting my forlorn
how much of me will you swallow
before you finally purge, love?
a girl once called me her home
until she saw just how much
bigger I am on the inside
and it took her
a day and some minutes
.i was born with theMore Like This
cord wrapped tight
around my neck; it
would seem fitting to
die the same way
How to Make it HurtOh dear, Daddy, look what I did!More Like This
Sorry, I forgot you don’t care
And that I’m just your bastard kid.
Oh no, Mummy, I miss you too much!
I ache for what I cannot have;
Your soft, gentle, loving touch.
Hey, God, I’m going to hell!
‘Cause I hurt myself
And others as well.
Sorry, Friend, for all I’ve done!
I never ever listened
And now two will be one.
Goodbye, Bitch, I hate you!
I hope you’ll cry,
You’ve made me cry too.
Hello, Dark Thoughts, I’ll let you in!
Help this hurt less,
Help me let them all win.
Maybe you are my inner demonMore Like This
I have my inner demons.
And they are tearing me apart.
Through my rib cage,
They are eating away my heart.
I have you,holding me tight.
You can feel the pulse of my soul
I am afraid,save me.
Make those evil creatures go.
I have monsters under my bed.
They whisper only bullshit in my ear.
Their voices are so quiet for others,
But so loud for me to hear.
I feel like losing my balance,
I will fall soon,
I wonder,did Lucifer
Have his inner demons,too.
I trust them,
And they say you'll leave.
It's like they want to kill.
But you caught my body,
You're the one with my soul's key.
With the color of my artery's blood
on your body,you said to me:
"Don't talk to monsters under your bed,
Cause they don't like us at all.
Sleep,I am here,my love.
They don't know what we know."
You'll Never DieHear me read it!More Like This
They say that if a writer falls in love with you then you never really die.
Instead your body is laid out in its funerial shrouds and moulds are made. Soft impressions of you to be pressed onto the blank faces of future loves.
Every time I write of taking comfort in a safe place in a storm, it will be your forearm. Every half-made smile will be on your lips, and every touch will be constructed from the residue beneath your fingernails.
When I metaphise of trees' blood, the leaves that give the energy so that a willow can provide shade for those in need, it will be your blood, it will be your light drenched kisses.
Every tear on every face will taste of the sweat that you put into keeping me happy. Every soaring song of love will be played through your windpipe, your trachea my instrument of choice.
For every time that a hero has the strength to walk on, I will use your feet. I will weld them to my own and walk a mile. Wal
Mommy and DaddyMommy, Daddy, are you okay?More Like This
You haven't talked at all today.
Mommy, Daddy, can't you see?
You're really starting to hurt me.
All you do is scream and fight,
and I hear it all throughout the night.
Sometimes I think my eyes will run dry,
yet whenever I do, I just continue to cry.
"She doesn't care about any of this, she'll be fine by tomorrow!"
Daddy, you don't know how much your words fill me with sorrow.
"Can't you just be civilized?! Stop acting like a child, and apologize right now!"
Mommy, please don't make this worse, or I'll run outside and hide in the snow.
Mommy, Daddy, I wish you would just stop everything and be happy again.
I'm hiding under the blankets, writing these words down with a pen.
Mommy, Daddy, can't you see?
You're tearing my heart into one, two, three.
A piece for each of us, a piece of my heart,
the beating has stopped before it could start.
Two sections I wish I could install into both of you,
yet I'm afraid I have not yet found the proper glue.
"It isn't your
Hurt...Why is it,More Like This
That when you try your best
Not to hurt a soul...
You end up getting hurt
More than anybody else?
I am Sean (Trigger Warning)Last autumn, I murdered a girl named Summer.More Like This
Summer looked just like the sound of her name: the hum of a firefly harmonizing with the quiet growl of a motorcycle riding into a star-drenched night. She had a glow from the inside right out and an irresistible bite.
A senior in high school, Summer had her sights on Yale, hell, she had the plane ticket and the acceptance letter snuggled in the shoulder bag she carried everywhere. Her best friend, Danielle, made it for her 17th birthday. Despite her party being the biggest of the year, Danielle found a secluded enough place to tearfully give her best friend the gift. It was a quilted piece. Danielle was probably the craftiest and most thoughtful person Summer had ever met. They had gone on a small road trip only last year. Danielle took quiet pictures of sights, of laughter, of youth and the seemingly endless days. She printed these onto fabric and sewed together the memories of the best parts of their friendship. Even with all they ha
Sixty-one SecondsIt took him sixty-one seconds to die. I counted.More Like This
The beach was only a walk away from there, and the sun was beating down on our heads and our hats. We hid under the trees and laughed. We were in love, if that's what love meant. We hugged each other, as we walked down the burning pavement in loud flip-flops and ripped shorts.
We were so close. I didn't know that that would be the last time I'd ever see him alive.
I was nervous when I told him, that if we were really in love, we would be together forever. He giggled softly, and told me forever was a long time. I knew that of course. It was too good to be true, I thought. He told me not to think about forever, and we sat on the park bench, overlooking the beach. I leaned my head on his shoulder and I felt his smile light up above me, and I smiled too and closed my eyes. Everything was perfect, that moment there, it felt like forever, a good kind of forever.
We didn't notice the shouting. We were too in love.
Love can do that. Love is blin
BorderlineI dreamed once that I saw your face inMore Like This
my mirror, rippling prolifically like
water on glass on my face,
and then I was drowning, and I
too fast into your watery eyes.
Without imagination, prosaically as you
could, you told me you
loved me and hoped we'd meet again
soon. I smiled, propri
My Dear SisterWhy did you had to go thereMore Like This
To a school far away from me
Why did you had to be a witch
Every time I called you a freak
I never really meant it
I was just jealous
My dear sister
Now you are gone
And I blame it on your world
You left me your kid
He has you eyes Lily
Your beautiful green eyes
And every time I look at them
I think of you
Of how happy you where to get your letter
And then I think of that Snape kid
I blame him the most
Because he took you away from me
And told you about all those things
Maybe if he wasn't the one who told us what you where
I would accept you
I really wanted you in my life
And you can't believe how much I miss you
But you are gone
You died for Harry
I'll take care of him Lily
But I also blame him
If he wasn't born
You would be safe and alive
I miss you Lily
I hope one day we will meet again
And you will forgive me
SchizophreniaShh.More Like This
Look behind you.
"Are you okay?"
Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
"What's wrong with you?"
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Or we'll do the job for you.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
This is how I live.
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
"What can I do?"
You can stop.
You can stop being ignorant
LabelsAttention seeker?More Like This
Maybe fighting for acception.
Rather, suffering rejection...
Maybe breaking for direction...
Perhaps dying for correction...
Maybe hurting for affection..
So maybe before you label someone just because you don't feel a connection...
Maybe fix yourself before you point out imperfections.
Alone...Alone...More Like This
ALONE IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE...
That's how the saying goes
They all paralyze
And it never really shows
ALONE IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE...
A feeling always left unsaid
Never a bother
To any others
Leaving you feeling dead
ALONE IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE...
It doesn't fade away
It stays in your stomach
Your spirits will plummet
Engulfing the rest of your day
Now you know how I really feel
From each hour to the next
I am alone in a room full of people...
Come Home Soon"Did you mean it?"More Like This
"Did I mean what, love?"
"When you said you weren't going to die?"
A long, tense silence follows the question as Arthur looks over at his brother carefully, brows furrowing slightly as he quickly ponders where on earth the question had come from. It must be the result of his sibling's silence for the past ten minutes, assuming the younger had been thinking during that time and not merely been half-asleep, although what may have planted a seed of doubt in the child's mind currently eludes Arthur. He analyses Peter's face carefully, although his expression is rather difficult to read at present; he doesn't look sad, despite his enquiry, but he still seems void of any of the positive energy he usually radiates so much. There's a small glimmer of curiosity in his eyes, if anything, and Arthur wonders how long it will remain there, depending on his response. The answer to the question isn't something the elder Kirkland particularly wants to give, and is uncertain of himse
Starfighter: 2009Abels eyes were drawn to the muscular man stood beside him, his attention grasped when the others face was lit in a soft orange glow.More Like This
You shouldnt smoke itll kill you. Abel watched as Cain gave him a passive shrug, happily taking a drag.
It was raining. And that was an understatement. It was absolutely kicking it down. And Cain and Abel managed to find shelter in the doorway of a closed store. There wasnt very much room, so they were forced to stand very close together, which made Abel rather embarrassed and uncomfortable.
Cain pushed up the sleeve of his leather jacket, looking at the watch on his wrist as the time ticked by with the heavy pitter patter of rain.
So much for dinner, he grumbled, causing Abels face to flush with the reminder that the weather had ruined their rare occasion.
Cain had offered to take Abel out to dinner.
And that was when it had started raining.
And now they had missed the reservation.
WARNING SPAM ON THE WAY!!!Yup for all of you watchers who bother to keep an eye on my journals, here's your warning, i'm gonna be uploading many over due pieces, so yeah...see ya!More Like This
Whiskey Dream KathleenHow many of you know my real name is Kathleen?More Like This
I used to hate it. I hated being called Kathleen. "Katie! My name is Katie!" I'd always tell them.
My name is Kathleen.
It's a pretty name, you know? It's proper but pretty and special. I've only met one other Kathleen.
My grandmother. She was amazing. I love her so much. I wish she was still here.
Kathleen is a pretty name.
And Just as ColdSpots of dark in the whiteMore Like This
It piles out my window
I pull the blankets around me tight
And listen to the wind blow
Its warm inside my head
Cold all around me
As I lay in my Winter bed
And dream I'm not so lonely
I'd forgotten the color green
I only know white and black
And the shades in between
Breathe in, lay back
I want summer to arrive
So I can remember the sun
And the way the flowers thrive
And the smell of grass as I run
For now my world is frozen
And cold as my heart
One slip and I'll be broken
And the rest will fall apart
A New Chapter . . .So, I've been kind of busy- . . . again. Good and bad things have happened, but I assure you . . . the god far out ways the badMore Like This
Let's get over the bad news first because the good is just too awesome to give away upfront:
I lost my job. Apparently due to excessive absences. I had about 14 days out in two months. All doctor's noted. I was hospitalized, and found a clot that was growing due to my period not being able to pass through normally, my immune system was shutting down, and other things- it was going to get very serious very fast. I was scheduled for 3 days bed rest- doctor's orders and had a note. I had to have surgery, I let my bosses know 2 weeks in advance, and again, days bed rest, doctor's orders, and again, got a note. But apparently it didn't matter to the big wigs in corporate and they cut me loose due to my lack of ability to perform my duties regularly. In all honesty, it was a blessing in disguise because I was getting very bored of the job-
Dark Sadistic Muse:Dark Sadistic Muse:More Like This
I seat myself before the computer,
With fingers poised over fading keys.
Eagerly awaiting my latest epic;
Yet frozen by a lack of inspiration.
Here I sit, staring at the blank document.
The dark background mirroring the world behind me.
I swallow hard as my body locks;
Hairs tense as I sense her arrival...
Slender fingers soon wrap themselves around my throat.
With claw-like nails digging in painfully,
They prick the skin that lies just beneath my Adam’s apple;
Leaving me nursing a rather painful necklace.
"Your hands aren't moving," she coos softly,
Her clawed fingers gently stroking my chin.
"Why is that, I wonder?" she asks with a grin.
Her expression reveals a pair of pointed canines,
Both framed by lips as seductive as sin.
"I'm sorry my lady", I whisper in reply.
The excuse tumbles slowly from a paralyzed tongue.
"I have had no inspiration you see;
No dreams with which I am able to write."
She laughs at this; cruel and cold,
Tossing me from
SaturdayWe slept on the floor when you drank.More Like This
– Like worried puppies
too small to reach the bed,
and sat with our backs to the wall
by the bathroom while you showered,
we hid car keys,
Peering over ledges,
I watched your listless eyes
wander to windows
thinking of your mother and marriage,
toes curled around the coffee table corner,
and we begged you to sleep.
Zach cleaned the sinks,
the rugs and the ashtrays,
capped the bottles and placed them
high on the shelves.
You woke to cartoons,
a headache, a fresh
pack of cigarettes. –
We never talked on Sunday mornings.
she might as well be a stranger now.she crying because she'sMore Like This
heard those words before; heard your words before; the way
you try to comfort her, despite her problems, despite not knowing her- oh yeah,
and of course for the main reason- you can't love a girl like her with
her loosely tied hair that refuses to agree and her
fragile pride that's furiously intertwined in her
two hands wrapped around each other- so easily ripped out and
stepped on by a foot.
(her own foot, that is.)
and she watched it all come down.
she can't turn back around.
she'll avoid your expression and
smile at the ground.
(not because she's happy or that she's
glad. she's sad, she's
and maybe she's crying because she's had enough.
and maybe she doesn't know anymore...
maybe she's forgotten many times
to lock that door.
(or maybe she just doesn't care anymore.)
the one thing not beautifulpeople are scaryMore Like This
they mess you up and
treat you wrong
somehow you know
it's not the worst thing
because you're the worst thing
just a tangle of limbs
people lie and call beautiful
and i know i'll be the death of me.a sharp blow to the face.More Like This
not a hand; simply words
and pain. lots of pain. self-
destruction and shutting
oneself down (again).
where did all this hurt come from?
money, the plague, the mind?
might as well stitch me up with
your handy-dandy needle and thread, oh yeah,
because I can't put myself back
the pieces don't fit, don't stick anymore.
(and i think of Humpty Dumpty...)
but how do i survive
like this? i'm young, but then i'm
old again... it's always pride and
everything i can't take back: all
that they say they forgive me for,
but bring it back...
and i understand, but...
the pain, this pain,
take it all away from me... please.
this pain, my pain.
please, please let me be free
Roles“All the world's a stage,More Like This
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts”.
It is true that the words were once said
Of a learned bard that
‘All the world’s a stage’.
We humans are merely players upon
The stage of life.
Yet, had you ever considered
Which parts you play?
Every person is the centre of their own show
But only a side act to everybody else.
Perhaps you are not one to
Discover gravity or find a new energy source.
You may never get into history books,
Never truly be remembered.
It may be disheartening but just think…
You could easily be a sideshow
That ends up inspiring the great artists.
Maybe you were the teacher who
Taught Einstein how to count or
Hemmingway how to write.
Maybe if you were not alive now,
It is possible that the human race
Could die out thanks to an invention
That you didn’t inspire someone to create.
Think of the peo
Love HerLove a girl who writes;More Like This
go beneath the words you're seeing.
Pick apart the outer shell
and find her true inner being.
Kiss her ink-stained fingers
and gaze deep within her eyes,
ignore the characters she's created,
and just be mesmerized.
Love everything she's been,
who she was, is and will be,
fix the torn pages of her book and
heal the scars on her body.
Lastly, play your part as
the hero of her book.
Always be her savior and
always be her hook.
Untitledi. i saw a girl there on the swing set.More Like This
she had no ribbon in her hair.
full of life and full of heart, oh,
maybe i loved her from the start.
ii. i saw the girl there on the playground,
a little swing there in her step.
a melody within her soul, and
perhaps a story to be told.
iii. i saw that girl there in the flowers.
she recognized me from afar, but
she didn't say hello. she smiled,
and didn't tell me to go...
iv. i saw my girl there in the green grass
i held her hand and held my breath, and soon she
looked at me in the silence.
"please don't leave me alone..."
v. i saw her on the pavement.
she turned away and it broke my heart.
she had a ribbon in her hair by now, but
i still her loved, anyway.
vi. i saw her face in the picture frame.
she didn't look me in the eye, though
i screamed at her to listen to me.
"please...don't leave me...
vii. i saw her tear stains on her pillow;
her diary under the sink.
why wasn't she home? it's four pas
Doesn't KnowI don't think he knows how deep his words cut.More Like This
Like shards of glass shooting though my heart.
My heart pumps them through my body,
The glass slowly melts in my veins,
And spills from my eyes as salty rain.
.sometimesMore Like This
in my head
curl up in
the beat of
miss me?do you?More Like This
does it matter?
should it matter
am I angry?
am I sad?
do you care?
well, do you?
does it matter?
(answer the question already...)
i don't know.
HallelujahI heard there was a secret pitchMore Like This
The Prince of Hearts sang to the witch
Her Imperious Condescension is arising,
His friends are all in jail cells,
Jane, Roxy, Jake as well,
Now his hope is gone, oh how they took it
My faith was strong long ago,
Here on a planet, with frost and snow
Why does my sprite seem to hate me so much?
Then Bec died, I was gone again,
Now I have no best friend,
Traveling through sequences, oh god,
Harley I've been here before,
I've seen your face, I've felt your touch,
I used to live alone before I knew you
You hung your gun on your fireplace,
Naking is a huge disgrace
and now I can't even seem to find you
There was a time, that I was alive
Waiting for my boyfriend to arrive,
But something was off, oh how I knew it,
Controlled by an evil bitch,
I continued to die without a glitch,
And now I am a programmed , machine.
Confession: The Other LoverMy heart is racing, my hands are shaking.More Like This
Forgive me for this letter, love.
My heart is breaking.
This affair has been heavy on my heart.
You deserve this confession,
It's tearing me apart.
It's not you, it's me.
Isn't that how it always goes?
Lover, I hope you understand my plea.
We met some time ago
And I fell so damned hard.
I just...I felt that you should know.
She's the drug in my veins,
I can't get enough, I'm mad with desire;
It's time to break these chains.
I came home last night,
but I never really left her place.
Please lover, understand my plight.
The pull has become impossible to resist -
I have to go back, I NEED to go back;
I've fallen for this terrible tryst.
I've had my chance to roam,
But shes calling my name baby;
Its time to go home.
I have a lover on the side...
Her name is War,
My combat bride.
Just Smile...Perhaps I should confess to you,More Like This
That I am trapped within this box of crushing insecurity...
Screaming as I shatter my nails against the wall.
But I'm sure you'll tell me to just smile and wave.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
The DescriptionHe drinks coffeeMore Like This
its the art of seduction,
and quite honestly
when he does it
it might as well be.
You'll catch him
frowning into it
as he hastily scribbles
in a notebook
to make the world
El cambia a español
en la mitad del frase
and I don't think
he even realises.
He loves the world
that to be a part of it
leaves you feeling
He makes the world seem
to contain his love
and when he smiles,
because he reminds me
that there is hope
to be had.
For the world,
For people like us.
He is soil,
Salt of the earth,
of everything good
that will grow from
He is a ramshackled
waking up to
the realisation that
he is an innovator;
and that his passion
could change the world.
DivorceBefore that day,More Like This
Sunday mornings had never occurred to me.
I must have slept through their every summons:
I never knew the time sensitive ritual of finding matching socks,
forcing “nice” shoes over misshapen toes,
the silent pact we would share with the warm cushions of the divan
waiting for Mother to ready us, memories that settle in the guts
like a madstone, which I could then pull out of my old cadaver
to save myself in the next life.
There were a few moments. Like that time, in the garage,
basking in Father’s sunrise sorcery as he fired his magic timing light
into the fluttering lungs of an engine, or when he let me aim
the water at his bucket, poorly, while he carved something
otherworldly into stubborn dirt.
I held nothing near of Sundays, nothing sacred, nothing dreaded,
save for the occasional shameful confusion
I would coax from my belly with dogged chimes
of christmas bells haranguing the church congregation
with their infernal sequence, hanging like nervou
Something Borrowedgirls in white dressesMore Like This
don't always want weddings.
the priests would speak of leaps of faith
and my hands would clasp the wood in horror,
knuckles bleached like bone- and i found
something old: the knot tied in my throat.
my vocal cords did not let empty words escape.
and there was something blue: the heart
that hesitated. how can a seedling prophesy
its harvest? how can a caterpillar promise
the power of its wings?
so let others gather flowers.
we will skip the mass
but not the bed: and through
this something borrowed,
earn a little time-
and a place to rest our heads.
Daily Literature Deviations for August 25th, 2013Guidelines | How to Suggest a DLD | Group Administrators | Affiliation | Chatroom | Current Staff OpeningsMore Like This
Daily Lit Deviations for August 25th, 2013
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Liar, liar, Soul on fireLiar, liar,More Like This
Soul on fire,
Now you hang
By razor wire.
You come to me,
Then try to run.
But you are caught
In my web of fun.
You return, yet again
To the towers three.
Your body and soul
Belong to me.
You try to lie,
But you only deceive yourself!
I’m no longer chasing,
Your no longer in health.
You don’t know yet,
Well, let me show,
Walk on through.
I’m sure you do,
I know you hear the blades singing.
You started off
In the towers,
And you escaped.
Or did you?
You lie, but only to you.
Who do you think your trying to fool?
Not me, not them, not you.
And now I say, welcome, to the school!
Now, a class photo I think,
Smile for the camera!