These Hands Are So Red...These Hands Are So Red...
These hands are now red and so slicked with this blood,
I can't even wash it in a basin of mud...
As I scrape at the skin of those demons I chase,
I am left with a smile mixed with pain on my face.
Since I swore I would savour this blatant disgrace,
Let perversion be writ in these scars I will trace.
From the tip of my shoulders to the base of my tongue,
Are the names of those sleepers so cold and so young...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 15th March 2013
He's FlyingHe's flying, he's flying,More Like This
Far and away,
When he feels like crying,
He drinks his sorrows away.
He's high, high in the sky,
Watching as the colors fly by,
But be careful when you're tripping,
Make sure not to fall,
For there's real danger in slipping,
When you're so high in the sky, after all.
He's flying, he's flying,
Far and away,
When he feels like dying,
He drinks his sorrows away,
And this high may give him wings,
Apathy, and a feel-good among other things,
But it's only a matter of time,
Until the hands of fate chime,
Before turning back is no use,
Before all hell breaks loose,
Before they cook his goose,
Before he steps into the noose,
It's only a matter of time,
Before his flight comes to a crash,
Only a matter of time,
Before he lies face-down in ash,
Laying in the debris,
CharadesWe all want to escape,More Like This
We all want to be free,
To fly for a little while,
And escape reality.
But this flight is merely an illusion,
For really you are chained down,
Sunk down so damn low,
Reality continues around you, you only drowned out the sound,
What you thought would give you wings,
Really gave you concrete over-shoes,
And you'll drown in the undertow,
The price you'll pay for this life you abuse.
We all want to be happy,
But this sure as hell isn't the way,
You're not happy at all, you're merely numb,
Underneath nothing's changed, and it'll stay that way,
Forever and ever you'll remain the same,
You're body is just dying,
You're pumping poison into your blood,
You're just a fake, that's what you're denying!
You're a charade,
A faceless parade,
A wasted endeavor,
Forever and ever!
ThinI could walk on air!More Like This
Dance on tiptoe, itd be lovely!
Youd pick me up and spin me around thinking nothing of it.
Admire my skeleton, dear.
I could drink lots of coffee.
Smoke lots of cigarettes.
Drink diet pepsi and eat grapefruit!
This is going to be fantastic!
I promise you.
But I will vomit.
I will starve.
I will hurt.
My teeth will fall out pretty collection.
My hair all over the floor--perhaps I can make a dress?
Maybe Ill be so tiny, Ill just fall through your fingers.
1000 kilometresTenacious illusionsMore Like This
were the only things we possessed
as fate trapped us
behind a glass screen
Stuck writing fantasies to each other
across mountains and rivers and trees
Lying next to each other
a thousand kilometres away
that might be in vain
while entrusting our hearts
to a virtual game
I'm stuck looking north
as if seeking out a star
that through all the mountains and rivers and trees
you're standing there too
searching for my silhouette
somewhere in the distance
If I could run to you
scaling the mountains
swimming the rivers
and knocking aside the trees
oh how I would hold you
my star up north
How good it felt
with the screen finally broken
and warm real flesh to feel
Year's worth of things never felt
now bursting to the surface
every word and picture and sound
translated into a warm and passionate
A thousand kilometres worth of waiting
and looking up north
You have become
Writer's BlockThe words don’t come easilyMore Like This
I wish they would.
The flow in life
ain’t quite right.
Dis-joints the perspective –
And (!) irritates…
The High hell out
of my poetry.
they call it.
AMY whimsicalworks 2/09/2013
CombineHow are you taking over?More Like This
No, not you ... Me.
You're no longer separate,
No longer a voice.
You are me.
No separate consciousness,
But still not the same.
I fluctuate, switching
Between you and me.
I can't take what you do,
And you hate my choices.
How can we live,
As one person?
I can't take being two.
We have to come together,
Wish I Could ShowWish I could show how you make me feel.More Like This
It doesn't seem like you think it's real.
But somehow you got me so bad.
You're the best thing that I ever had.
And now that I want you so,
I'm afraid of when love you don't show.
You make me such a nervous mess.
My sanity you've put to the test.
You say that you can't read me.
Can't you tell, you're all that I see.
I wish I could just show you,
Exactly what it is that you do.
You've got me high up on a cloud.
If you stay here, I'll never come down.
Just please don't break my heart.
Without you, I will fall apart.
Frozen In TimeFrozen in time.More Like This
No longer I grow.
As age goes up,
Maturity says no.
Barely a teen.
This body isn't mine.
I don't understand.
Where was the time?
It thought by now,
Adult I would be.
I can't believe,
Got a career,
Got a new place,
Move myself here.
And bills too.
What's a child,
Supposed to do?
Have a baby.
We're too young.
Don't you see?
Continue to age.
I'll be eighty-nine.
Still be a kid,
Frozen in time.
feedingYou are a dirty leechMore Like This
latching to those
who trust you
sucking sucking sucking
until they're all dried up
a hollow carcass
of your greed and thirst
by your selfishness
you slice into the skin
sucking sucking sucking
feeding off of
you wrap around
holding tighter tighter tighter
sucking sucking sucking
drying them all up
and once they're all dry
you toss away
their empty shell
to find another host
sucking sucking sucking
until they're all dry too
just like me.
Ascension: The AwakeningIt was transforming, like a butterfly does from its cocoon. All the bile, the pain and the hate, it was starting to become cohesive. It was taking shape all on its own, and wrapped within the cocoon, time and life had no meaning. Would it survive the process? The day and night-mind still conflicted. Which would win their battle for the meat-shell? However, a proper story’s supposed to start at the beginning.More Like This
‘Hello?’ Its voice rang out, echoing across the vast void. Pure blackness, so black, it wasn't a color, but from an absence, a lacking of. Its footsteps a hollow sound, almost metallic. Still walking across this endless void, devoid of light, yet, still able to see the lack of detail; unknown to the sleeping husk, this was its emotional state in in purest form. A decade of hidden pain and suffering, held the best it could by the day-mind. Much like Atlas, it too grew tired, and slowly lost its grip while in the realm of truth, the night-minds realm.
The husk had t
I Love You, DaddyDaddy, please don't touch me.More Like This
It doesn't feel good.
It makes me feel..
Daddy, please don't hit me.
I didn't mean to disappoint you.
When you hit me, it makes me feel...
Daddy, please don't hurt her.
Mommy didn't do anything.
When you hit her, it makes me feel..
Daddy, please don't say you love me.
I know you're lying.
When you say you still want me, it makes me feel...
Daddy, please stop screaming at her.
You already killed her.
When you scream at her, it makes me feel..
Daddy, stay there.
Let me sink the knife into your throat.
When you bleed, it makes me feel..
Daddy, aren't you happy now?
As you lie there, lifeless.
I'm only following your footsteps.
This makes me feel...
Daddy, please listen.
I know you can't hear me, but...
I still love you.
The same way you always loved me.
And it makes me feel...
It makes me feel..
A SmileI'm waiting terrified for the last decision,More Like This
You gently touch the knife,
My heart is pounding, waiting for the lethal incision,
I almost see the blade shedding the liquid of life,
I hear myself choking with my own blood,
The sound of the knife rending my flesh - a deafening thud.
But your hand goes further; over the axe it leans,
Shining ruthless under your fingers,
I'm about to die, by all means,
A sick suspense lingers,
I almost hear the sound of my breaking bones,
The gushing blood, the moans,
But no; your hand, well, further it goes.
"A gun? "
With it easily it will be done,
Infix the cold metal and let me bleed to death,
"Will it be fun? "
Just imagine the blood outflow until the last breath,
"Or a hammer? "
My body you could simply mash,
But you'll need to endure the blood splash,
That will stain your hands and face.
But instead that, your fingers, they retrace.
"The most lethal weapon isn't any of these",
You say stepping back, as my heart is starting to appease,
"It would be to
Insanity's GraspTick, tock, tick, tockMore Like This
Watch your body, limply rock
Drip, drop, drip, drop
Smell your body, slowly rot
Tip, toe, tip, toe
One step over, the edge you go
Breathe, slow, Breathe, slow
This is your last breath you know
Twiddle, Dee, twiddle, dumb
Feel your body, going numb
Rap tap Tum, rap tap Tum
Your heart it beets, like a drum
Think, fast, think, fast
Insanity, has your heart, in grasp
Black, out, black, out
It's over now, without a doubt
DecayVibrant illuminations that flicker,More Like This
And a mind drowned in syrup so thick.
Searing agony that can dictate your mind,
A disease that pains the body,
And invading lukewarm liquid.
A hand to run down my face,
Like you were a god to pity me,
And a cry to deafen the heavens.
Place me somewhere raw,
As if I’m the princess of ice,
And declare it too late.
Seal my never healing wounds,
Like you seal a hole in cloth,
And dress me in white.
Never let me vanish,
Never let me decay.
Let me flourish like a flower,
A divine queen on an eternal throne,
Never to wither away.
But my pleas are worthless.
The formaldehyde won’t keep me,
And this coffin will seal me,
In this maggots buffet.
Please just let me die...The pain i feel each day,More Like This
Is more than i can bare,
People are against killing yourself,
But i really don't care.
They don't know what i'm going through,
No idea what happens each day,
But lately my depression has been growing,
In a whole new way.
I just want to be dead,
Six feet under-ground,
But i'm scared of hurting my family,
To them, i am forever bound.
But no-one cares what i'm going through,
They just don't understand me,
I feel so lonely and rejected,
They all just let me be.
Do they really not care?
Am i just a waste of space?
If that's how they feel,
I want to get out of this place.
I want to fly to the clouds,
And soar way above,
Make my way to heaven,
Maybe i'll finally be loved.
Depression fogs my mind,
I just can't smile,
Sometimes i try too,
But i haven't succeeded in a while.
People act lovingly,
But i know it's a lie,
Please just let me take the life from my body,
Please just let me die.
pain is the new beautiful.You make me feel insaneMore Like This
every single time
you rise in my mind.
It's like you're playing God with your fingers,
but you've never looked so flawless.
(I would kill to have your talent,
it's like you kill my heart for a living.)
You make afterlife look like nothing but a lie.
I try to compromise with you
but I'm always stuck in your beauty.
(God gave you no faults,
you've never made life look so right.
It's like you're the new trend.)
You've always been so perfect
at being the demon in my head.
Pain is the new beautiful.
My Darkest FearMore Like This
Traces of blood, everywhere I look around,
A desperate help request comes from nowhere,
I hear a scream, I can't move, I'm bound!
Somewhere far, I see a light,
Suddenly, from nothing, it just came to life.
I hear my name, it's echo floating in the air,
I see you down, but I can't see your face,
Your eyes are fixed on the ground, seems now you have fallen from grace
As I look closer ,all becomes so clear,
My heart starts to beat faster,
Over my spine I feel the claws of fear.
You are laying down, in a pool of blood,
Barely breathing, your color starts to fade away,
Your dark brown eyes turning into grey
Out of your lips comes a softly whisper,
Asking for help, searching for a savior.
I fall down on my knees,
I burst into tears,
In front of my eyes becomes so real-
My darkest fear
Desperate I shout, but theres nobody around,
I'm cursing this life, I hate that you left me behind!
I look at my hands, why am I holding this bloody knife?!
I hear a silent accuse,
Are you rea
Your Bloody EndingMore Like This
Why are you crying?
Why are you yelling?
Look deep inside of my eyes, do you think I care?
Honestly, tell me, what are you seeing there?
A wild smile on my face,
A burning fire in my eyes,
I just can't wait to end up your lies!
The hatchet shines into the silver moonlight,
The wind blows so reassuring this night,
I hear your hard breath, I can feel the fear in it,
I see your tears racing down your face, while you are begging for mercy.
Don't be scared my love,
Aren't you the one that asked for this?
It will come true in a trice.
Started to cleave your chest,
The blood runs, while you are screaming your lungs out.
Dear, please, shut up,
I'm trying to tear your heart out!
So you did with mine,
It's my turn now, we must keep the line
Your cyan eyes, shined so bright,
Sparkled in the dark, like a guiding light,
They turned to crimson, they look so dead
Your angelic smile, fade away forever,
Your face is drown in blood, you're gone from now,
But I think like this is so much bett
The Suicide DreamThere's blood on the floor,More Like This
A cold hand still leaning on the closed door,
The echo of a painful shout still overcome,
Imprinted in the empty sight,
The image of a purpose that was too soon gone.
Tangled bloody hair,
Of a person that decided no more can bear,
Tears like crystals still resting on the dead face,
The soundtrack of a film,
The scream of lost innocence,
On a black and white screen.
Suppressed words that cleaved a heart,
Broken promises and lies,
One more soul tore apart,
A person drown in useless cries,
Bloody, bruised wrist,
The result of the decision - no more can go on like this.
A peaceful grin,
Of a person that in the ocean of despair couldn't anymore swim,
Is frozen and distorted,
A blade, a stain of blood,
Life away has faded.
Like in a dream,
I see the bruised, dead face,
I hear a scream,
On the floor I see a bloody trace,
Snippets of a jumble film.
Another person broke down,
Took away by the whirling waves of the suicide dream,
Another person decided this world is m
Death is painful...Slashing my throat,More Like This
With your cruel knife,
You keep on plunging,
Taking my life.
I can see the hatred,
Burning in your eyes,
You never loved me,
It was all lies.
You slowly stalk backwards,
Glaring at me,
Then you turn and run,
Leaving me be.
Death creeps up,
Exposing his face,
Puts his arms around me,
In a cold embrace.
I feel the liquid seeping,
Down my neck,
Across my body,
My clothes a wreck.
I feel light-headed,
As my hand unclenches,
A tingle ripples through me,
And I lose my senses.
Death squeezes me tighter,
As my body heaves,
My mind is burning,
And my consciousness leaves.
Dusk not DawnWoe is the man who ventures far.More Like This
He leaves his life behind.
His companion stays by his side.
Through thick and thin they fight.
Woe is the man who never stays.
He kills in self defense.
His horse at night haunts us all.
Through dust and wind they travel far.
Woe are the men who dare to fight.
They draw at dusk not dawn.
Their friends they look on in fear.
Through the night they stare
Woe is the man who never dies.
He fights himself for control.
His guns are rarely drawn.
Through flesh and bone his bullets fly.
Woe is the man who drinks their blood.
He speaks to you so softly.
His fangs do peirce your light skin.
Through your body his eyes will see.
Woe are the men who dare to fight.
They draw at dusk not dawn.
Their friends look on in fear.
Through the night they stare.
I think it's a haiku...Something so lovely,More Like This
That makes the world so perfect,
That is what you are.
NecromancyShe replaces her wristsMore Like This
with the sharp thorns
of roses and slurred
as she speaks
in an old tongued
language that whispers
She collects stars
on her knuckles,
& her dust eyes
are sad moon nebulas
starved for love.
But, the kisses
she sinks into the curve
of her lover's ribcage
by night, warm that
Not my Fairy TaleThere's no such thingMore Like This
as happily ever after-
Snow White died
In a coffin made of glass
never met her Prince.
Bell never cured the Beast;
He ate her
And Ariel remained part fish.
This is real life:
Not some fairy tale
because Aladdin didn't rescue Jasmine,
Aurora never woke from sleep,
couldn't reach John Smith in time.
I will never belong to you
because happy endings
simply don't exist.
ButterfliesButterfliesMore Like This
Butterflies are an age old symbol.
A symbol of rebirth and discovery.
The butterfly is never still
always flitting from flower to flower
and place to place.
Butterflies could symbolize anything
from luck and fortune
to life and death.
If I were a butterfly I would
want to be a monarch because
nobody messes with them and they
can just live their lives their way.
They are free to go where ever they
want and do what they please.
PendulumThe pendulum sways from back to forthMore Like This
To slowly show you what you're worth
And slowly, surely, you shall smile
And want to stay a little while
You feel your body start to sink
And no more thoughts, you shall not think
You will relax and you will sing
And you will not feel a thing
Things will slowly start to creep
And, in your head, you'll start to weep
You can not speak, you can not move
So all these things crawl over you
And all you do is sit and stare
And take in tiny breaths of air
And, when the things do start to rot,
You start to regain all your thought
You start to be able to move
And everything you gained, you'll lose
And, when you start to walk away,
The pendulum no long swayed
And, as you walk, you realise
Behind you is a pair of eyes
So you start to run away
Into the sunrise of the day
But, those eyes will soon return
To watch you slowly, surely burn
As the days pass....More Like This
As the days pass....
And it goes,
Like the clouds
On a windy day,
But on these windy days,
It's a time to soar,
Like a kite ..
As the days pass....
We lose love,
And people die,
Like a flash of light
The storm rages,
But in these storms,
Everything fades away,
Without a trace ..
As the days pass....
Words are impossible to speak,
And they shouldn't be spoken,
Like death seeking a soul,
It claims its life,
But at his death,
He is ready and says 'good bye',
In a whisper ..
Selfies vs. Self-PortraitsI don't think people understand the difference between a self-portrait and a 'selfie'.More Like This
I've been taking photos of myself ever since I got into photography. Actually, I remember the day I took my first self-portrait. I had always been a landscape/ nature photographer, and I had woken up one Saturday morning with the intention of going to the woods to take some nature shots. But it was pouring out and my mom, being afraid that I'd get sick in the rain, insisted that I stayed in. I listened, but I still wanted to take photos.
So I decided to take some photos of myself.
Portraiture had always intimidated me because I felt that there were elements in it beyond my comprehension. With landscapes, if I saw a pretty scene, I would just photograph it. That came natural to me. But when it came to photographing a face/ body, suddenly I had to worry about the way the light was hitting the face and if it was the right angle for the model.
But lo and behold, I enjoyed taking self-portraits that Satur
Giving Away a Premium Membership!EDIT:More Like This
THIS IS NOW CLOSED.
The winner is . . .
I'm giving away a 3-month premium membership to one of my watchers!
Here's how to win:Add this journal to your favorites.Since this giveaway is for my watchers, you must be watching me.Optional: Leave a comment on this journal. Say anything you'd like.
On December 22st, 2013, from everyone who does BOTH of the above things, I'll be randomly picking one to give the premium membership to.
Good luck and happy holidays!
I care.The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on makeup so people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See the man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.You never know what its like until you walk a mile in their shoes. Trust me. I bet you won't repost this, only 5% do.More Like This
Words to HellComposeMore Like This
a thousand words
And I might believe
you love me.
For every inch of
earth you touch,
There is a sense
But the bloody stones
Will only prove
as time can tell-
we shall starve
No one forgets.I did not forget-More Like This
Do not accuse me of that.
The ocean is still there,
lapping at the mountain of my mind
But it is not a battle-
No one forgets the ocean
Curling, thrashing like innumerable snakes.
with combined unity.
No one forgets
And I did not forget.
I did not grow up, either.
Somehow, I learned to love the mountain
and dismiss the ocean
Embrace the air that had evaded me before.
I learned to love and hate
and die and hope equally.
There is no forgetting
But there is living.
Muddy HappinessFor the sake of argumentMore Like This
I wrote nightingales into my eyes
of muddy happiness
You maneuvered to save
these limp limbs
Take ThisTake this kiss upon your hand,More Like This
For the ones who starved themselves,
Because "ugly" was written all over their mirrors,
Because "fat" was the only thing in their way.
Take this hug around your shoulders,
For the ones who cried themselves to sleep,
Because, unlike everyone else,
Their pillows kept their secrets.
Take this wish for your success,
For the ones with wounds blanketing their wrists,
Because physical pain gave feeling,
And feeling was so hard to find.
Take this whisper in your ear,
For the ones who live through pain,
Through sorrow, through regret,
Through loneliness in crowded rooms,
Through nightmares and judgement and hatred...
Take these words, darling,
These words I say to you.
Stay strong. Never give up. Keep breathing.
Let's keep going,
For the ones who starved themselves,
For the ones who cried themselves to sleep,
For the ones with wounds blanketing their wrists,
For the ones who live through pain,
For the ones forced to survive...
And for the on
BrokenI cant breatheMore Like This
I want to but no air comes out
I want to speak but no words come out
Why do I feel... hurt?
I feel betray
I feel like love had forgotten me
Like God only help those who have love
My heart hurts
My heart feels like a thousand needles went through my chest
and now its bleeding slowly for me to die
Why when I try to move my hands to touch the ground I can't
Touch the ground
Just to know its still there
Just to know I am still alive
I feel like a broken doll
Shatter into pieces
Pieces all over the floor
With no one there to put me back together
Will fix me
No one will love me
No one will help me breath
not feel things that is real
not to even to tell me that Im alive
ApocalypseDeserted landMore Like This
Metal wires fallen down
Stones stand silent
And reflect burning sun
Blood red with their rust
Water dried out
Or turned into poison
A bright apocalypse
Fallout of our shredded lies
Waves of radiation
Awakened the waiting dead
Pulses of heat
Now surge through our brains
We crawl with no skin
Mouths open to wonder
With burn out eyes
We smell the solar wind
As it blows howling
Through collapsed walls of steel
Piles of bodies are
Consumed by the wretched
No fake morality
To lead us to one purpose
We choke on sterile dust
So self aware and content
To beautiful simplicity
In deserted land
In its yellow darkness
Dead are the machines
That controlled our souls
19 Years OldI was just nineteen years oldMore Like This
When I cut myself in two
The boy I wanted them to see
And the boy they never knew
Hid my hollow bones away
I've been hiding ever since
Yes, you may see the odd smile
But only ever a glimpse
But my heart was never broken
It was born in several pieces
And with every passing year
The size of the segments decreases
I was just nineteen years old
When I died for the first time
I did not cope so well
With leaving my childhood behind
I didn't want to face up
To these wretched bent back blues
But will I give in to the struggle?
No, with respect I refuse
See my grandfather gave me
The stubborn heart of an ox
I will die before I collapse
A coward I am not
WhispersWhispersMore Like This
As I lie upon my bed
Trying to forget a conflict not demanded
Listening to music to relax my mind
With my lover at my side
For one second I closed my eyes to slumber
And my mind drifted to things it remembered
To forget a problem it could not understand
It seemed that more than one voice was speaking
But I could not place them, even one
They spoke of things from beyond my time
Of mythical objects larger than the African elephant
Creatures with strange names and stranger shapes*
Of lost cities under the ocean
Wherein those strange creatures dwelt
I sat listening and began to shudder
For one voice was deeper than the others
And it warned of the revival
Of things existent long before man evolved
my howls are silentI, too, see the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. We are decomposing too early, our souls dying before our bodies can catch up. We are silently ravenous, a quiet craze in our hearts, not quite the same as your generation, Ginsberg. We do not shriek "Holy! Holy! Holy!" as we burn. We drown soundlessly.More Like This
The overeducated, proud products of postmodernism dissolve in a lukewarm soup of ennui, bored balloons filled with hubris rather than helium. Fragile dolls with flaking bones and hair and skin like flowers wilting, weighed down by indomitable wills and insecurities... these plastic girls starve to death and diabetes in the car beside me, fantasizing about food in the passenger seat. Former nymphets gouge symbols into themselves, the bleeding crags physical outlets for the demonic depression, for the memories of beloved older brothers molesting them in the living room, while her mother sits at a hospital bedside beside a fading father.
I see the most remarkable minds crippl
doubtsi passed most of my life fightingMore Like This
fighting aganist the world
with no rest
and no mercy
the world eared my warcry
but this night
i want to reflect
why i´m fighting?
what i stand for?
why i´m always brandish my sword?
I have doubts
the world it´s too strong
and I´m hurted
in body and mind
could be the time for rest?
I must surrender?
and retreat myself?
The Real WritersThe Real Writers:More Like This
There are those who sit with their laptops and tablets,
Clothed in a scarf and an artistic hat of some sort.
They ponder; leaving a stack of books beside them,
Sipping their decaf as though they are literature personified.
What works do they prepare, other than blatant copies,
Perhaps a half-baked romance designed to woo a lady.
So convinced are they, of their own aptitude;
They are blinded by the beams of their burgeoning ego.
For the writer is not the man who is tapping away at keys,
He is not the man fervently reading with lensless glasses.
He is not the hipster debating ancient literature.
For he is a monster, wearing human skin.
He is the deranged madman, eccentric, uncanny.
He is the one who sits catatonic;
An entire world of fantasy playing in his mind.
He has gone through millions of scenes,
Thousands of scenarios, hundreds of plots
And dozens of characters.
He is not the man you expect him to be,
For a true writer is utterly WEIRD.
GayI am gay.More Like This
I'm not a disease, I'm not a problem
I'm not an affliction
I don't need treatment.
I don't need help
I'm not sick
I'm not confused
I'm not a sin.
I am gay.
I'm your daughter
Your co worker
A complete stranger
I am gay.
I need love, just like you
I need smiles
I need support
I need a hug
I need a friend
I need a family
I need acceptance
I need understanding
I need you
I am gay.
I know what love is
I know what pain is
I know what hate is
I know what life is
I am gay.
And I need you to love me
The same way you loved me before you knew
I am gay.
And I have experienced hate
From more people than just you
I am gay.
And I wont change.
I wont give up.
I wont back down.
I wont pretend.
I wont lie.
I wont deny.
I wont hide.
I wont hurt.
I am gay.
And that's okay.
i'm not an artistwe do not belong in boxesMore Like This
and bags and books or
and we do not sit contently
in wordsworth and shakespeare
and blake, burns, and brownings
or in the cold stiff bones
of raleigh's of long ago;
detect, and re-select
a virus--a disease,
a germ in every verse and line;
the first signs of
foolish waitings under
bridges and scolding parents
and nothing to signify at all
we are the blood of nations
and the heart of men
and the love of every
rhetorist and sentimist
we dance through the ballrooms of
the age and chat with
we shake hands with heros
and the homeless, dirty
type that gum over 'hello's
we are and aren't and will be
silly verse and
naive philosophers and sweet oxymorons
waving hello from the shore;
forever onward and never ending
like the stars in an
To The Beautiful YouTo The Beautiful You:More Like This
Here we are, sitting behind these screens of glass,
Reading lines of text, yet smiling, laughing and crying.
It's strange to think that I could have this much fun -
Considering that I've never met you before, but then again
Perhaps that's the reason why I don't have to pretend.
Some people might tell me, that what we have is just a fantasy,
I doubt I'll have the chance to actually see you in this life-time.
But even so, in the time that we've spent together - Well,
I feel as though I've connected with you, more than anyone else.
I feel as though I know you better, than those just a few feet away.
You might take this little confession as something silly,
Maybe you'll even forget about it as time passes,
But I for one could never forget about someone like you,
And so I'd like to dedicate this piece, to the beautiful you.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 17th December 2012
Trauma Drama "STRIDER, I WANT YOU TO HELP ME IN UNDERSTANDING YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN WAYS OF THE SCRAPS OF EARTH LIFE YOU HAVE LEFT."More Like This
Dave didn't move from his seat. Neither did he cast a glance at the impatient troll. He continued scribbling lyrics of rap on the blank piece of paper, all in hopes that Karkat would be irritated with his ignorant attitude and leave him alone.
Well, five seconds of silence was a miracle until all hope was lost.
"STRIDER, ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME? OR ARE YOUR EARS FULLY COVERED IN GREASY SLIME OF WAX?" Huffing annoyingly, Karkat poked Dave's shoulder. Not a single reaction was given, though Karkat wouldn't be surprised. This wouldn't be the first time he got ignored by Dave-fucking-Strider. "STRIDER, AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT THIS, BUT I REALLY DO NEED ASSISTANCE IN UNDERSTANDING THIS FUCKING PARTICULAR SUBJECT."
"Dude go away I'm busy doing serious stuff." Finally Dave gave a reaction, voice obviously not amused with Karkat's unneeded interruption. Arms cros
I Can't Devour You, Not YetI Can't Devour You, Not Yet:More Like This
I long to taste the sweetness of your flesh,
To roll your meat between my tongue and teeth.
So many times have I come - so close -
To taking that first bite from your neck.
Yet, there is something about you,
A scent perhaps or a sickly sap.
It turns bitter upon my tongue,
Poisoning it; I am left unable to eat...
Much like the caterpillar, covered in spines,
Each bite would spew only bitter venom -
Numbing my senses and dulling the mind;
It would leave me naught but a gormless wreck!
Even so, despite me knowing of the repugnant taste,
I am drawn toward you, like a moth to the flame.
May my wings crumble in the heart of the fire -
& body be turned to dust and ash...
If only for the chance to feast once more!
Ah, my dear - I will have you.
& on that day it will be so sweet.
But for now - I'm afraid that -
I must leave this as a mere - tantalizing - fantasy...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 12th December 2012
Practice Poem - Poor Little TimmyPractice Poem - Poor Little Timmy:More Like This
Down into well, poor Timmy fell,
Down he fell into the pits of hell.
Brought into hell by an eldritch spell,
Poor little Timmy who fell down the well.
Alone he cowered and shivered and shook,
He shook for hours, so long it took,
So long it took for him to feel well,
Well enough to explore this hell...
Through pathways littered with scenes most gory;
Most gory indeed was little Timmy's story,
A story of fear and suffering defined,
Poor little Timmy, he ran out of time...
Now then, I think I'll go welcome my little guest...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 14th December 2012
Between heaven's eyesWe stand between heaven’s eyesMore Like This
The stars watch us……….
Eternity spreads before our hearts
You smile, and I smile
You breathe me
I breathe you……..
I feel pain
You feel pain,
Hence the ritual of being one
Silence reads our vows
Time and pain
Tonight we stand tall so we could fall
I melt before your eyes
In as much as you burn before mine
The first look in your eyes kissed me goodbye
The beat of your heart stops mine to listen
Patiently I listen to my torment
To those who deny us perfection
Still believe we are the best proximity
With every tear comes a word
You walk my mind rewriting my heart
The falling I am in gives abyss a perspective
To the deepest fall I will ever know
To an end I will never see
Broken to a depth of words unworthy………
Feet and knee on a plane
Your walls closing in on me
Your voice echoes
Your touch remains a longing
You gaze below, I g
Blood stained penBlood stained pen..........More Like This
I sing to you with a ghostly whisper
I am your everyday flaw
I defy your every sense
I am an artist of fear
I am yesterday's weakness growing stronger
Remember my name
let your breath be in ink
Yes cold as ice
Burning emptiness for a heart
Bow and feel me be the king of you
I am everything of the night
With the rage of the sun
listen to me go down your spine
listen to me stab your every nerve
Tonight i write to ignore the life in you
Awe and envyI am damage.......More Like This
she is ink,
twisted in the arms of fate.....
a song of moon and time,
she is ink..... a rush in the eyes of time.
Awe and envy
when you wish on time
all you hear is a beating; my heart.
Zombie EffectLife so sinister.More Like This
Brain so insane.
My mind utterly broken.
My heart shattered
And the shards lay
Empty hole in my chest.
My eyes glazed over.
My head so fucking numb.
Disaster has struck
And I'm the newest victim.
Eyes filled with desire.
My body limp from the pain,
Tension, and stress
Of emotional hazards.
My flesh decaying.
Now I have open wounds.
Eyes red and black,
Heh, I'm such an insomniac.
Mind panicking as
I see what I've become.
Is there not a cure
For this Zombie Effect?
As OneI saw the sun rise from the eastMore Like This
And all i could think of was your face............
The empty lines in my heart are in a phase in time
Where all that matters is a taste
Enough of your eyes
I will use ice
Your neck down to your spine
Up in flames
Let us burn as one
TimeCounting down,More Like This
It never stops!
It never slows down!
It never ceases to
Intrigue us all...
But why must it
Taunt us with
It's cruel, cold,
And it's deathly, pale
With smooth, perfect
Is it just human nature
For this frustration
To draw so near to the
Anger I feel toward
Why can't time just...
CEASE to let me
Turn it back to those
To let me see and
Hear, and feel you
One more day?
Is it just that
Sick and unyielding?
Or is it because it knows
The hurt I'll face again
So my greedy, lustful desire
Can get its way?
So, the question here is-
Is time really on our side?
Or just under someone's
The Razor's CallingTemptation is runningMore Like This
Over my skin...
Should I give in?
Scream it out!
I'm not about
To screw up
In my life.
Leap for joy!
Make my smile
A mile wide!
Throw the razor away
And promise to say,
"No! This is my new
Life, and I'm not about to
Give it away!"
Yes, I'll throw it away
When the temptation
Mind, Heart, and Soul.
I promise to
Never give in
To The Razor's Calling
And sharp, stone cold
The art of blacking outHow I wish I could say strangersMore Like This
crept inward, night by night,
stealing my medication and
rearranging my furniture.
But I know it's not true.
There are holes inside
my head. Oxidation.
No one unlocks this door
but me. I am just
Leaky FaucetOh, look, she's screaming againMore Like This
She's banging on the walls, pleading for mercy
Maybe if you just stop listening it'll go away?
Yes, it's happened before
It gets a bit tiresome after a while
Ah, good, she's finally stopped
I knew ignoring her would do the trick
I should really do something about that leaky faucet
Maybe I'll go check
Oh dear, do we have any more room in the backyard for another grave?
I hope blood doesn't stain the carpet...
Selfish Suicide"People who kill themselves are selfish."More Like This
Well, darling, let me tell you a story,
A story all too true.
A daughter who became a wife, a wife who became a mother.
A mother of three girls...
One just above the age of a toddler,
One at the age of twelve,
And one entering the life of a married adult.
Now, the youngest girl was watching television,
And the oldest at the neighbor's home.
The twelve year old daughter sat at a computer with her closest friend,
When something terrifying happened.
Her mother was in the kitchen, coughing.
The daughter, although unable to see her mother, only could imagine the situation.
The mother walked calmly past the daughter with tears rushing down her face,
And up the stairs she went,
Into her bedroom...
Locking the door behind her.
The daughter, hearing the door lock, didn't bother to check on her mother.
She decided to expect and hope for the best.
Five, maybe ten minutes passed, the daughter still sitting at the computer,
When the mother stumbled down the
A Whole New SongA Whole New NoMore Like This
I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me grumpy cat, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming
A whole new No
A dulling place I don’t want to know
But when I’m way up here
It’s crystal clear
That I’m certain I do not want to be here with you
Very certain I do not want to be here with you
Boring, grumbling, wastin’ time,
Through an endless musical scene in the sky
A whole new No
Don’t you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things I wish to un-see
Hold your breath- it gets better
I’m not going to hold my breath
Why don’t you
I want to go back to where I used to be
A whole new world
Every turn I want to die
With new horizons to pursue
Let's Be Penguins! AmericaxReaderMore Like This
It was that "wonderful" time of the year again. The time for the holidays. Which to your best friend, Alfred, meant Christmas. Each year he would have a huge Christmas party and trick some poor sap to pay for it. Each one was bigger then the last. And this was Senior year, so it was going to be huge.
"Hey, [Y/N], what color should the cake be this year?!" Alfred practically shouted at you when you were literally sitting down right next to him in this place where you're supposed to be as silent as possible. The library. Never would you take him here to "study" again when all he did was plan for his Christmas party.
"Something neon...as usual..." You mumbled your answer while chewing on your pencil's eraser. Now let's see this problem you were working out now. 3 divided by the square root of 54 subtracted by 10 and added by x. What is x? You tried not to flip the table. "Why do I have to solve where Algebra's exes are?!" You shouted. Alfred laughed.
"Still fuming over it?" You knee exact
RomanoxReader The Curl"Can I pull it please?"More Like This
You looked at your Italian boyfriend Lovino.
"Why not?" You asked, crossing your arms.
"Because, I said no." He crossed his arms.
"Why? There has to be a reason!"
"Because, I don't want you to pull it." He said, standing up and walking out of the room.
You waited until he fell asleep on the couch, watching TV. You snuck over to the couch and looked down at the peacfully sleeping Italian. You reached towards the curl, your hand inches away, you were just about to pull it when his eyes snapped open and grabbed your hand quickly.
"What the hell (Name)?!"
"Plan failed...." You mumbled.
Later Lovino was cooking some pasta, he didn't know you were behind him. You were just about to grab the curl until he turned around and seen you.
"CHIGI! (Name)! You scared the shit out of me!" He said, glaring at you a little. "Leave my curl alone!"
Later he was sitting at the table, doing some paperwork and you snuck in the kitchen. You trie
Secrets Should be SilentSecrets Should be Silent:More Like This
What is in the nature of a secret?
It is not to be known, nor to be seen.
It is that which we bury beneath layers of deceit.
Why then, do we bury poetry?
why then, do we bury prose?
Why secret that which is meant to be seen,
And showcase that which is meant to be secret?
Are the words of our soul less important,
Than mere phrases designed to seek attention?
Are the words that we carve from experience,
Taken as less than a general phrase of emotion?
...No, I would hope not.
For I do as any other might,
And my skeletons are kept under lock and key.
For a secret displayed remains secret no longer;
Merely a gossip's fancy.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 6th July 2013
Under YouUnder You:More Like This
Beneath the surface of the water,
There is silence, peace and darkness.
To mute the mouths of men,
To drown the voice of the world.
Surrounded by ignorance,
I choose not to hear your whispers.
Without death or pain,
Without birth and life;
Surrounded by denial,
I reject this sense of self.
Without colour or light,
Denying all that is around me;
Surrounded by emptiness,
I am blind within this cage.
Muted, ignorant and blind,
I sleep beneath the surface of the lake.
Eternally drenched, eternally drowned,
I am the you beneath the surface.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 8th July 2013
Are We Not Free?Are We Not Free?:More Like This
Ye say that nothin' changes;
That all we're tryin' t' do is fer naught.
Ye say that nothing's wrong,
That we should be acceptin' of our fate.
But why should we simply accept things as they are?
Are we no' a free people?
Are we no' allowed t' speak our minds?
Every man, every woman in this land,
Has the freedom t' choose their own path.
If our ideals must beg us differ,
Then that too is a part of the change that grips us.
What exactly do ye have t' fear?
If yer stoic in ye ideal that nothin' will ever change.
Why not simply ignore us;
A passin' flight o' fancy that we are...
Yet still ye try, ye attempt t' change our minds.
Ye pacify us with the notion of acceptance,
Highlightin' the fact that the world is fine.
Ye say that this is the way that things should be!
That m'friend, is yer personal freedom;
I'll not impinge upon it, fer it be yours.
I only ask, if ye could kindly mind,
Not to treat us, like we're bleedin' blind...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 18th July 2013
What Are You To Me?What Are You To Me?:More Like This
I have walked in this world,
And they have told me of kings.
Of brave rulers who make the tough choices,
Men of example and outstanding character.
But it was then that they said,
What is a king to a God?
What is a mere mortal to a higher power,
One who holds our fate in his hands?
They said he was benevolent and kind,
Wrathful and jealous, magnanimous and selfish alike.
He was the perfect ideal, embodying all things
And we were made in his image...
It was then that I was laughed at,
By he who asked this question:
What is a God, to a non-believer?
One who lives by the truth he sees...
He is the man who acts as per his morals.
He lives through his eyes and is judged by his fellows.
He submits to no higher being, not a one does he fear;
Comfortable with his own conscience...
But all three, I beg; I ask ye this:
For what is a king to a God,
A God to a non-believer,
And all three of them in comparison,
To the madman who watches the world burn...
I Once Loved...She was beautiful.More Like This
And twas I who loved her...
I held her in these hands,
Like a warm blanket,
Comforting and kind.
But she was a bitter poison, toxic and deadly.
No antidote to her venom;
I wasted away with delirious eyes.
A coward they called her,
And it was the truth!.
But to save myself, I would have her bleed.
Her heart a raw panacea;
Crunched between my teeth...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 22nd July 2013
How to Insult PoeticallyOnce I happened upon a callow young lass,More Like This
Who apparently thought that it was cool to be crass.
And she turned her tongue upon the profession of writing;
Apparently she felt that it was in need of a smiting.
Though her raving and ranting made very little sense,
She seemed to be taking a rather harsh stance.
Apparently her pain was too great to be understood,
Far beyond the comprehension of this man from the hood.
So I stood there in swagger, clad in my bling.
While she behaved like 'Moon-Moon', in search of a thing.
She spouted some nonsense, some far fetched line,
About never idolizing the keen writer's mind...
If that is the case, then why ape my technique?
Why submit to several galleries; is your brain on the leak?
You are writing to be seen; you seek attention as I do,
What are we if not performers, is that not true?
Did you believe that you could use your past as a shield?
It counts, I'm afraid, for nothing, I feel;
For you see, I'm a killer, as bold a
I Can Only Sell MyselfI am but a pen,More Like This
Not even a sword.
I have naught but words,
No skill may I afford.
Truly it is sad,
That it has come to this.
But if you are in need of writing,
Then let my words bring you bliss.
So tell me, what would you have me write tonight?
Dear Father I Loved You, But...Dear Father, I loved you,More Like This
But this truth I shall say.
That you were the demon,
that made me this way!
And though I am hiding,
It's hard when it's lurking beneath:
This anger and hatred,
It's all I believe.
So don't speak or I'll hurt you,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
But you are the ending,
Of this broken story.
So tell me, dear Father,
What can you say,
To boy whom you twisted;
When you pushed him away.
You've suffered enough...My dearest child, do not weep, for I am here to wipe your tears away. Come, let us be free of these blankets; let us walk from these dim halls.More Like This
There lies what once was your body, fevered and eaten by disease. Your lips are cracked and bleeding, your arms are both thin and sallow. Do not fear them now, for they are long passed.
Come away now, for we must say your final goodbyes. Here to the mother and father that came to your bedside each day. Here to the brother, who shall honour your name. Do not be jealous of them, my dearest child. For you are simply moving ahead; you have not fallen behind.
“But why, why does it hurt so much?”
Why? Because the memories are still carried within you. Your attachments are still strong in this world. That which you didn’t achieve, that which you haven’t done. All of it is carried as chains upon your body and they will stop you from
Love Beyond the WindowWhen I was young, I believed in fairy tales.More Like This
I believed that if your heart willed it,
That love could overcome anything.
That one day, two lovers could always be together.
But those were simple lies I think...
After all, how does one reach across a window;
Reach across a screen...
To hold someone on the other side,
Before they slip through your fingers.
Like a lonely dance between air and water,
I can only stand on the surface of the lake,
And see her smiling on the other side.
Sometimes, I would draw pictures on the surface;
These thin useless arms of mine scrawling tiny doodles,
And she would smile and reply to each one:
Including a heart, for 'I love you'...
And each time I would feel,
As though I could soar through any distance,
As though I could run a hundred miles.
If only so I could see you;
If only because I missed you...
But enough I say...
Enough of this life
FreedomWe were bornMore Like This
from the world
around us. Now,
we're just trying to
Break the chains
We built for ourselves.
.they came fromMore Like This
the mud. one
by one i hold their skulls
to my ear. they
are bone conches, empty
of all things
now. there is nothing
they lay sunken
at the bottom of the river. it is
to look down
on them. the spine
of their sky is collapsing.
there is no holy
book, no red-winged ghost
of a devil
to blame, no black magic apart
from their own.
are seperate beings. my tongue
of its mother
and fluent in hate.
i burn our photographs
and touch your face with my thumb
just to push
you in further. my instinct
adam, with your all-seeing eye.
you have gutted
the human from her and sent
her to war. she is scraping life
on the back of her knife now,
scarlet. she loves the thud
of the ripe ones
(there is a light in the water at night, for those breathing the air of their own blue sphere)
.know this; i loved the fireMore Like This
and i walked into it willingly, heaven
is not up above but deeper down below
(there is a snake with the world in its belly, eat it; you are a killer the same)
.i don't say a wordMore Like This
about where i buried the bones,
about where i spoke to the ghosts
of the flowers and plants
about the splitting of wood in the trees -
about where the living and the dead
met in secret, where the stars opened
their arms like flowers for me
and i bloomed
.and you;More Like This
i understand if you have to
with the sun painted gold on your
tiger back bone, i won't move
everything else is in it's place,
if you open your eyes up wide,
put your ear to
the lungs that breathe inside
but not in mine, no not in my holy waters,
my still still waters, but still
the sea will surge over
the sand, and i will take whatever
you can give me and sleep, i will say
i want the hand of god between
my ribs, i want a mechanical life,
i want no part in the winding evil
curling itself inside me, please
i want no part in settling down, i want
to see stars the colour of champagne, open
wrists like blind slats so i can see
the light, keep fresh inside
with cling film stretched across,
go on then do it, listen, i will let you,
i will take your lover's song, the blame
be storyteller to them all, sit in
their kitchens, pet their dogs
conceal the fact and smile
as life drags me down the aisle
to that bastard standing there
dressed all in black, the king of all