Bipolar DisorderLook over your shoulder. They're watching you.
Tighten your stomach muscles.
Bounce your leg up and down.
"Are you okay?"
Don't say anything.
Feel it, feel the thoughts melting from your mind.
"What are you doing?"
They're behind you.
Kill them before they kill you.
Please save me.
Crazy. You're crazy.
No one wants you.
Pull the trigger.
"Please tell me what's wrong."
You wouldn't understand.
"Who are you? I don't know you anymore."
I'm a nobody.
I am Bipolar Disorder.
... "I don't know."
Battle in my MindEat.More Like This
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
I love you..
Creepypasta ABC'sA is for Abby, who has a creepy stalkerMore Like This
B is for BEN, he drowned in some water
C is for Cupcakes, which you'll just die to eat
D is for Dating Game, beware of who you'll meet
E is for Eyeless Jack, he wants to slash you open
F is for Funnymouth, who'll leave your jaw broken
G is for Guardian Angel, he's always with you
H is for Humans, and they can lick too
I is for Ickbarr Bigelsteine, your teeth he will keep
J is for Jeff the Killer, who tells you to go to sleep
K is for Killswitch, a game impossible to find
L is for Lavender Town, the music messes with your mind
M is for Misfortune, a hidden game within a game
N is for No End House, which lives up to its name
O is for On the Bus, you'll be riding forever
P is for Penpal, they can be oh so clever
Q is for Quiet Room, a film with a cursed TV spot
R is for Russian Sleep Experiment, more sinister than we thought
S is for Slender Man, wearing a black suit and tie
T is for Trust, who shall live, and who shall die?
U is for Unbranded Lapto
You're Not?You're anorexic if you're thinMore Like This
You're not? Then you're obese.
If you're different, you're insane
You're not? Then you're a fake.
If you're happy, you're hiding something.
You're not? You must be emo.
If you're dating, you're a slut.
You're not? You must have no friends.
If you're popular, you're a jerk.
You're not? You're a nobody.
If you're quiet, you must be disabled.
You're not? You obnoxious freak.
If you're you, you're wrong.
Then you must be perfect.
WINNERS EVERYDAY! Points GIVEWAY!! Hey dahlin's!<3! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DONATING AND SUPPORTING! I give all my points away anyways, and I love hosting giveaways <3 I am hoping to do more, and support Artists and to also make you smile Support what I am doing? Check out my page and lke if you'd like!More Like This
to keep updated <3 gracias! Thanks for enterting if you are! <3 -hug-
I AM STILL SO INSPIRED TO GIVE AND MAKE THE MOST OF THE START OF A BRAND NEW YEAR! for 2013=
I said I still wanted to help people and keep motivating
so why not have A BUNCH OF WINNERS?
I know, sorry I only have 80 points, but they are perfect to help give away ! Someday I shall get more points, but I WILL keep giving <3
and you can win up to two times!~ /w/
HOW TO ENTER?
fave this journal and leave me a comment that you entered!
fave my NEWEST PEICE!
and Follow me on facebook if you can :iconpsychoflowerplz: http://facebook.com/happy143photos
Try to help sprea
500 points give away, winners announcedScroll down for the winners <3More Like This
Booboo, my guinea pig, gives away 5x100 points to 5 lucky deviants. She wants to thank you for your support!
What you have to do is:
Fave this journal so I know that you are in!
Good luck! I will pick the 5 winners (100 each) with random.org
Deadline: 7th January '13
Lots of love from B00B00!
New points give away: < you may join both
I'm sorry that I can't reply to every comment, but I do read them all
Dreaming Of TearsMore Like This
Dreaming Of Tears
Weakened to the very core
I can't endure this anymore
I'm going to black out
And be transported to a realm
Where my screams don't make a sound
Hate keeps me bound while I leave my fears to drown
I loath the days without rest
I despise the nights of endless stress
Though I can't settle for anything less
Because lower than this is death
It's like living and sleeping within tortuous realities
Even though I'm unconscious- there is no such thing as rest for me
No one knows how powerful my dreams can be
No one knows all of the graphic images I've seen
Dive into the ocean! / Swim through the thorns!
Let your pain open! / Allow your skin to mourn!
The memories start to fill
Then time stands still
A level of this kind of guilt
Is more than enough to kill
I don't know whats worse- my dreams
Or all of the secrets that I keep
It's hard to believe
This is what I call 'sleep'
In these impure waters
I bathe in the pools
Those of a coward
boys who love their grandmothersnever fall in love with a boy who loves his grandmother.More Like This
he will be too gentle with your lips,
too sincere when he whispers blessings into your ears
pleading that he doesn't deserve you.
his tongue will not slither between your teeth.
instead, the heat of his mouth will melt your scar tissue
until there is no trace of your travels.
never fall in love with a boy who loves his grandmother.
he knows patience.
you will try to convince him
that it is one of the many virtues
you don't yet possess,
but he will dig through the flesh in your ribcage
until he finds it lodged beneath everything
you're too scared to confess.
he will teach you forgiveness, remind you that you are not a mistake.
he will wipe the trails of tears that always seem to decorate your cheeks
and replace them with rose petals, saying that he chose the color red
to match the passion he knows flows through your veins.
never fall in love with a boy who loves his grandmother.
he will trace the freckles on your skin
BetrayedFriends,More Like This
thats what we once were.
Once there was a time,
A time when you could look into my eyes,
see clearly the trust that I placed in you.
I was there for you.
I stood by your side.
When no one else believed you,
When no one listened to you,
To me you were worth much more,
more than gold,
more than diamonds.
I would have given up all the riches in the world,
just for you.
You were more than just a friend,
Never did I doubt you,
Little did I know what youd do,
You betrayed me,
when I least expected it.
In darkness I was left,
Not once did you regret your choice,
not once did you turn back.
Whenever I passed you on the street,
you walked by,
without a single thought.
When my name was mentioned,
You acted as if you never heard of it.
No more did I exist in your world.
Thousands of pages would not be enough
enough to express what I felt,
the way the pain burned inside me.
No longer do I trust,
Not even thos
IgnoredIgnoredMore Like This
I try to hang with you
I want to be with you
All that once was
Is there no more
What happened to us
That once glorious friendship
A little under a year ago
I walk beside you now
But it doesn't really matter
Walking alone and being ignored
Are essentially the same thing
Except one hurts more...
Forgive YourselfSeto walked down the halls of the Sky Army Base. He and his ex-friends said their sorrys, and Seto became the castle wizard again. He smiled as he walked down the yellow halls. It felt great to be back. He walked by Sky's office and was about to knock when he heard quiet sobbing. He opened the door and gasped as he saw Sky's head buried in his arms on top of his large desk. He was dreaming about something. Seto cast a spell and found himself in Sky's dream.More Like This
It was when they kicked Seto out...
"B-but why?! W-whatever I've done I'm sorry!!" A younger Seto sobbed.
"It's already been decided sorcerer. Now if you'll excuse me I have an army to run." Sky said angrily turning and leaving the throne room, leaving the sobbing Seto behind. The real Seto followed him to find Sky sliding down the large wooden door heavy sobs wracking his body.
Seto's eyes snapped open to find himself back at Sky's office at 3:30 in the morning and finding Sky still asleep, tears running down hi
.:trust:.More Like This
It's like glass,
It's like a newborn,
It's like a gift,
Given to you.
It's like an eggshell,
It's like a wound,
Takes time to heal.
It's like money,
It's like a wall,
Builds up over time.
When you sum it all up,
You get a word that
Everyone needs to be
DepressionDepression is your sadness from within,More Like This
Always wondering how long it has been,
From the time you were happy inside,
Until the time you wanted to run and hide,
Some days are filled with violence,
You want to cut yourself and scream in silence,
The days come when pills don't help the pain,
You wished sometimes you would die in vain,
The darkness consumes your corrupted heart,
You think downing a bottle of pills might be smart,
Grabbing at your core is the weakness that feeds,
To take your life and fulfill your needs,
But when you think it is all just fine,
You awake from the nightmare on a steady decline,
You spiral downward from side to side,
You have lost yourself and even your pride,
Then there you are again, entangled in twine,
Lost in the darkness, alone in time.
Panic attackIt hits me like a wave,More Like This
These thoughts of fear and regret.
They swarm all around me,
Trapping me inside my own head.
Pretty soon, I am suffocating,
Please someone save me!
My heart beat races,
As does the thoughts that pick up the pace.
Of sending me memories I've kept and buried so long inside.
They've come back to haunt me tonight.
And as soon as it came,
It was gone,
Leaving me here.
And what was left of me,
YoutubeA is for Antvenom who hates the cowsMore Like This
B is for Bashur who rages like a god
C is for CinnimonToastKen who played every horror game
D is for Dansnews who is hardly famous at all
E is for Etho who plays Mindcrack SMP in Minecraft
F is for Fred who`s popualirity is Dead
I is for IhasCupquake who is proboly the most famous girl on Youtube
J is for Jordan Who is Captain Sparklez
K is for KayeiDream who I barley know
L is for Lalna who is a scientist
M is for MunchingBrotatoe who is just a boss
P is for Pewdiepie who screams like a manily girl
Q is for Quientin who`s name is hard to spell
R is for Rosterteeth who I can`t spell there name right
S is for Skydoesminecraft who is the butter god
T is for Tobuscus who was a cheery lad
U is For UberhaxorNova who is the kind of Rage
X is for Xephos who`s best friend is a dwarf
Z is for ZeroyalVikking who is simply Insane
We all love the Youtubers
They love us back
But times get tough
And they begin to rust
TowersI build towers around myself,More Like This
I build them strong and tall,
So you can never break down the walls.
Guards stand by.
So you can never again make me cry.
But you find out how to break my towers down,
And slip past my guards without a sound,
So they can't hear,
You filling my head with hopes and dream and then you suddenly disappear.
Leaving me alone In the rubble,
Of what were once the very towers that were supposed to keep me out of trouble.
So I rebuild,
And make sure no one can ever tear them down again.
WanderlustI want to run so badly,More Like This
I envy the birds with their wings.
Who can fly,
Fly away from here.
I want to be free to roam this world,
I dream of the day I can go,
And travel and grow,
I want to see everything,
The tallest mountains,
The deepest oceans.
I want to see sunsets on the other side of the Earth.
I want to sleep underneath stars that aren't my own.
I want to see foreign city lights.
To learn, to love, to never stop dreaming,
Of so many endless possibilities,
I have one life,
And I want to see and learn and love and hope and dream,
And just simply...
Hurt...Why is it,More Like This
That when you try your best
Not to hurt a soul...
You end up getting hurt
More than anybody else?
I am Sean (Trigger Warning)Last autumn, I murdered a girl named Summer.More Like This
Summer looked just like the sound of her name: the hum of a firefly harmonizing with the quiet growl of a motorcycle riding into a star-drenched night. She had a glow from the inside right out and an irresistible bite.
A senior in high school, Summer had her sights on Yale, hell, she had the plane ticket and the acceptance letter snuggled in the shoulder bag she carried everywhere. Her best friend, Danielle, made it for her 17th birthday. Despite her party being the biggest of the year, Danielle found a secluded enough place to tearfully give her best friend the gift. It was a quilted piece. Danielle was probably the craftiest and most thoughtful person Summer had ever met. They had gone on a small road trip only last year. Danielle took quiet pictures of sights, of laughter, of youth and the seemingly endless days. She printed these onto fabric and sewed together the memories of the best parts of their friendship. Even with all they ha
Sixty-one SecondsIt took him sixty-one seconds to die. I counted.More Like This
The beach was only a walk away from there, and the sun was beating down on our heads and our hats. We hid under the trees and laughed. We were in love, if that's what love meant. We hugged each other, as we walked down the burning pavement in loud flip-flops and ripped shorts.
We were so close. I didn't know that that would be the last time I'd ever see him alive.
I was nervous when I told him, that if we were really in love, we would be together forever. He giggled softly, and told me forever was a long time. I knew that of course. It was too good to be true, I thought. He told me not to think about forever, and we sat on the park bench, overlooking the beach. I leaned my head on his shoulder and I felt his smile light up above me, and I smiled too and closed my eyes. Everything was perfect, that moment there, it felt like forever, a good kind of forever.
We didn't notice the shouting. We were too in love.
Love can do that. Love is blin
BorderlineI dreamed once that I saw your face inMore Like This
my mirror, rippling prolifically like
water on glass on my face,
and then I was drowning, and I
too fast into your watery eyes.
Without imagination, prosaically as you
could, you told me you
loved me and hoped we'd meet again
soon. I smiled, propri
My Dear SisterWhy did you had to go thereMore Like This
To a school far away from me
Why did you had to be a witch
Every time I called you a freak
I never really meant it
I was just jealous
My dear sister
Now you are gone
And I blame it on your world
You left me your kid
He has you eyes Lily
Your beautiful green eyes
And every time I look at them
I think of you
Of how happy you where to get your letter
And then I think of that Snape kid
I blame him the most
Because he took you away from me
And told you about all those things
Maybe if he wasn't the one who told us what you where
I would accept you
I really wanted you in my life
And you can't believe how much I miss you
But you are gone
You died for Harry
I'll take care of him Lily
But I also blame him
If he wasn't born
You would be safe and alive
I miss you Lily
I hope one day we will meet again
And you will forgive me
SchizophreniaShh.More Like This
Look behind you.
"Are you okay?"
Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
"What's wrong with you?"
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Or we'll do the job for you.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
This is how I live.
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
"What can I do?"
You can stop.
You can stop being ignorant
LabelsAttention seeker?More Like This
Maybe fighting for acception.
Rather, suffering rejection...
Maybe breaking for direction...
Perhaps dying for correction...
Maybe hurting for affection..
So maybe before you label someone just because you don't feel a connection...
Maybe fix yourself before you point out imperfections.
Alone...Alone...More Like This
ALONE IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE...
That's how the saying goes
They all paralyze
And it never really shows
ALONE IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE...
A feeling always left unsaid
Never a bother
To any others
Leaving you feeling dead
ALONE IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE...
It doesn't fade away
It stays in your stomach
Your spirits will plummet
Engulfing the rest of your day
Now you know how I really feel
From each hour to the next
I am alone in a room full of people...
Come Home Soon"Did you mean it?"More Like This
"Did I mean what, love?"
"When you said you weren't going to die?"
A long, tense silence follows the question as Arthur looks over at his brother carefully, brows furrowing slightly as he quickly ponders where on earth the question had come from. It must be the result of his sibling's silence for the past ten minutes, assuming the younger had been thinking during that time and not merely been half-asleep, although what may have planted a seed of doubt in the child's mind currently eludes Arthur. He analyses Peter's face carefully, although his expression is rather difficult to read at present; he doesn't look sad, despite his enquiry, but he still seems void of any of the positive energy he usually radiates so much. There's a small glimmer of curiosity in his eyes, if anything, and Arthur wonders how long it will remain there, depending on his response. The answer to the question isn't something the elder Kirkland particularly wants to give, and is uncertain of himse
Do You Hate Me?More Like This
You are sitting on the ground, pulling grass up as you stare at the horizon in boredom. A girl walks up to you, blocking the view of the sun.
"Do you hate me?"
You blink. "What?"
"Do you hate me?" she repeats.
You stare at her. "Uh, why would I hate you?"
"You don't talk to me."
"Just because I don't talk to you doesn't mean I hate you."
"So... you don't hate me?"
You think for a moment. "Well, I don't know you, so I guess I don't hate you."
"So, if you knew me, then would you hate me?"
You stare at her. She strikes you as being very odd. You are unsure of what to say; a part of you wants her to just go away.
"Uh, I don't know... Do you want me to hate you?"
The Boy Who Wore A MaskThere once was a boy,More Like This
His parents named him Todd.
In most ways he was normal,
But there was something odd.
Todd liked to wear a mask,
The reason was unknown.
He wore it day and night,
His face was never shown.
One day as Todd was playing
Outside his favourite hole,
A boy came running at him,
He only had one goal.
When the mask was taken,
What remained was quite a shock,
For instead of human features,
There lived but just one rock!
Now this rock was nothing special,
It didn't dance or sing.
Heck it wasn't even living,
It just didn't do a thing!
So the boy did what we all might,
He reached into Todd's face,
Wrapped his hands around the object
And removed it from its place.
He skipped off down the street
To play at the nearby lake.
Skimming rocks was his favourite
And now he couldn't wait!
"So what became of Todd?"
How kind of you to ask.
Poor Todd just lay there lifeless,
Beside his favourite mask.
Green InkShe writes with green inkMore Like This
eternal scrawls upon the page.
She wrote with green ink,
because it was the color of his eyes,
and the pond in the park,
and the seats on the bus,
and the grass outside,
and rose stems.
She wrote with green ink
even when her boss yelled
and the teacher screamed
and nothing worked out.
Because green was her favorite
and it was his favorite as well
even when he was sick while
his skin was green.
He still loved the color green
when the dirt fell down
when he didn’t recover,
the grass that bloomed
was the most angelic jade.
And she still wrote in green ink
because it was the color of the grass,
and his favorite color
and the color of his eyes
on his last final days.
GalateaSometimes, she is my mistressMore Like This
Sneaking in through my window and seducing me out of sleep
She keeps me up past sunrise, whispering sweet promises in my ear
Silencing me with her smoldering passion, stripping me until inspiration strikes
She makes me sing, until the sheets are slathered in a thick skin of poetry
Sending shivers up my spine and igniting my senses with her ghostly fingers
She is a lover and a shadow, nowhere to be seen when I wake
Sometimes, she is my psychosis
Suffocating and strong, I can do nothing but submit to her grasp
She seethes, like a snake constricting around me until my sight blurs to smoke
Slowly, she consumes me with sick reverence and searing obsession
She stifles me because she refuses to be restrained, yet I long for her kiss
Severing haggard breaths from my lips, leaving me stunned and aching
She is a succubus and a nightmare, haunting me
Sometimes, she is my saint
Stifling sobs against my shoulder, shaking me until my tears start to fall
She has so much
Sometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sadMore Like This
I remember that one time,
All I had to worry about was
If the bubbles I had blown, were about to
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that one time,
I began to worry about the day that
My childhood would simply
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that some day,
When I'm sitting with my husband
In the old old house... my days will simply
And that day,
The day when my heartbeat is
The day when my breath
Truly gets taken away.
That's the day
When my worries, my concerns, my fears...
Stop asking me...Stop asking me what's wrongMore Like This
Because I'm never going to answer.
Stop telling me it gets better
Because I've accepted that it'll never change.
Stop begging me to let you in
Because even then, I'm just going to fake a smile.
Get Over It“You’re just sad.”More Like This
“Suck it up.”
And the worst?
“Get over it.”
I’m not just sad. I suffer from depression
Waiting for happiness’s resurrection.
I can’t just forget it, it’s in me for good
I can’t do the things that I know I should.
I’m not just sad. I’m broken. I’m lost.
I’ve tried everything to fix it, no matter the cost.
I’ve carried a blade just to hold to my wrist.
I’ve carried a dream inside of my fist.
I’ve talked about it, like they say I should do
But all my efforts are stopped by ignorant people like you.
“You’re just sad.”
“Suck it up.”
And the worst?
“Get over it.”
Therapists, I don't like their taste.i.More Like This
in 7th grade
i didn’t know depression
until she told me her name,
carving forever scratches
along my limbs like
little love notes on the bark
of a tree.
she stole my rings
and left me hollow.
i had only ever met anxiety
in passing, until one day
he handed me power and told me
to hurt someone else with it.
with an uncontrollable
quivering in my fingers,
he whispered, “ to survive,
you must learn quickly.”
as i shoved the bevel of a needle
into a strangers arm.
so, if a therapist
could talk away my scars
like iodine disinfects,
guide the ships
through the storm of my mind
like a lighthouse-
instead of pills,
if a therapist could
give me the strength
i might just
take my chances.
You don't just die.Do you understand?More Like This
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
From YOUR goodbyes.
Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
The Incarnation Of HateMore Like This
Hate didn't mean to hurt the girl.
Of course she didn't.
She wanted to help.
Hate knew pain when she saw it. This girl was in pain.
The girl looked so sad, her face was leaking...
She looked lost, Hate knew what that felt like.
Hate was lost too.
She had wandered from her home without meaning to.
She had passed through the gates of hell and just kept walking,
and soon she had no idea where she was.
The air was clean out here, she was used to fire and the smell of burning flesh of the damned.
Out here everything was brightly coloured, light, and smelled fresh. Hate was confused by it all.
When she first arrived she was scared.
So she had sat down on the ground, her body had started to shake and her eyes had started to sting. She had put her hands to them to try and stop the stinging. But when she pulled them away they were wet. Leaking. Hate's eyes were leaking.
Just like the girls where.
Magic WandDragons fly through poison skies, their whispers in the windMore Like This
Ladybugs in black sandcastles, scratches on your skin
Hopscotch over quicksand, and a castle made of dirt
Shining silver crowns and dancing 'round in spinning skirts
Bloody, ruined princesses locked up in towers tall
Watching as the prince quickly begins to fall
Slowly, as the innocence does take her darling life
Please do watch now, as the magic wand becomes a knife...
HomesickThey say home is where your heart is.More Like This
Right now I wonder
if that means I am away from home,
lost on the road
between here and there,
or that I am
60. ExhaustionSulje silmäsi, rakkaani, ja nuku:More Like This
ei se murheisiin auta, vaan voit hetkeksi unohtaa
sen kaiken mihin hukut.
Close your eyes, my beloved, and sleep:
it will not solve the worries, but for a moment you can forget
all that you are drowning into.
LuminenPäivärinta kukkuu, on hänen sielunsa susi valkoinen,More Like This
joka pakkasella juoksee läpi metsien lumisten
ja saapuu sydänmaille laskussa leiskuvan illan
haluamatta muuta kuin ylittää routaisen sillan,
jonka takainen häntä kovin kutsuu ja kiehtoo.
Ei tuuli häntä kääntymään saa vaikka kuinka se riuhtoo.
Hän on kuulevinaan laulun syvältä jään takaa,
eikä hänen askelensa kivellä ole kevyt tai vakaa,
ja hän muistaa isänsä, joka vihassa hänet kieltää,
kun tie kaartuu, mutkittelee ja askelten alla viertää,
eikä hän ole mikään siltä itseään salaamaan,
eikä mikään mahti maailmassa saisi häntä palaamaan,
eikä hän pelkää, että askel vielä lipeää,
tuska jonka hän tuntisi olisi vain hetken kipeää,
eikä hän pelkää kastua
sayhow was your dayMore Like This
how are you anyway
where are you right now
what are you thinking
i'm sorry that i want to bother you
so i don't
just that i won't upset you for some reason
i only hurt a little for not knowing
and being too afraid to ask
but still i just wonder
am i in your mind as much as
you are in mine?
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondlyMore Like This
of passions and talents,
of guitars and stars,
with such breathless intensity
then stops short and
for speaking at all.
All because somewhere in her life,
someone she loved broke her heart
her beautiful words
and telling her to
keep it down,
People aren’t born sad.
We make them that way.
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are strugglingMore Like This
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
she's gone, she's gone.don't tell a broken girl withMore Like This
grief pouring into the juts of her cheekbones,
hunger suffocating into the curves of her ribs,
that her eyes are made
and her hair was weaved from
sunshine when you are
light years away and millennia too late
Have You Been Writing Lately?I have dishevelled hair so I shave itMore Like This
To the scalp and to the point that I bleed
I no longer want to write my thoughts down
So I’ll try anything to set them free
It is not my pen that is the problem
And my fountain of ink has not run dry
I’m not experiencing writers block
These thoughts are twisted and I don’t know why
I have a multitude of memories
That my mind chooses to manipulate
In to more disturbing scenarios
That only the wicked ones can relate
If I cant find purity within me
Why do I bother to write anymore
Like a lost soul that is tired of life
Maybe death is something I should explore
I have always walked amongst the shadows
Where all the demons that you gave me lurk
But the death of my body will set me free
And illuminate my body of work
I have a creative mind but I abused it
At which point my sanity began to disperse
What is this gift of writing that I hear
All I have ever felt from this is cursed
i.i heard you howlingMore Like This
at two a.m. in the bathroom,
the rain drowning out
i heard you tearing at
the hollow of your throat.
you'd think that no one else would be
as sly as you to know
you aren't really what you say,
you're not okay--
you're not okay.
you named her anne after
the mother that never raised you.
called her your baby,
but never once did she
press her tongue against her teeth.
i saw the song lyrics
scrawled on the back of your hand
when you were sound asleep,
fist in stomach.
she's got bruises on her neck
that match up with yours.
she's got fingers like your daddy;
about that one i'm sure.
i read the words that hung
on the top of your lips.
i read the in betweens
the unders and overs
and the everything i could.
you took her in the
bathroom with you last night,
and i don't remember if
it was howling that i heard,
or illicit-sounding screaming.
she's not what you want her to be.
and i read in the papers
yesterday or the day before
about a girl
Ursa MinorIn a life that feels so lacking in concrete identity, the one thing that answers the age-old question “Who am I?” is the knowledge that Colorado is the land that gave birth to me. Pride swells in my heart when I see a bald eagle flying so close to the surface of Blue Mesa that its glossy feathers touch the water and make gentle ripples in the lake. There is equal awe when herds of elk and deer walk by me unafraid, and there is laughter when a wild turkey gobbles as he flees from me through a thick evergreen forest. Back east where the foothills give way to the Great Plains, I am humbled by the angry tornadoes that roar across the prairie in the scorching, summer heat. In the fall, I am entranced as pale golden aspens blush in the morning sun, gradually becoming orange and then red, heralding the return of Old Man Winter. I have seen nothing more majestic than the snowpack melting off the fourteeners in roaring waterfalls, and nothing more powerful than a mountaintop blizzarMore Like This
honey-filled heartshe asked her if she loved himMore Like This
and she looked at that golden boy
with a bumblebee smile and sad veins
like good champagne leaking onto the stars
only a million words were left unsaid.
You can't have it allbut you can have the glazed heat bursting from the blacktop like a brokenMore Like This
fire hydrant. You can have the jangle of keys
swinging from your hip with each stride.
You can have the tactility of leather and the graze of
bathroom mosaic tiles under a cold shower pelting
bullets and when the water cuts off
you can have dry book pages. You can have happiness,
though it will often be bitter, like finding a stranger’s
wallet full of pictures of smiling children until you
return it to find that the couple is barren.
You can have the scratches on the back of his knuckles,
faded, yet raw. You can have the translucency of sheets
in the sun, silhouettes but no details,
never revealing anything more than a fringe of hair
and frayed laces tripping over themselves.
You can drop obscenities like bombs until
they don’t mean anything anymore. You can pull out the Monopoly board
that broke your family. You can’t put it back together,
but you can pretend the thimble is your mother and the
ocean lungsyou weigh something like gravityMore Like This
in my tired expanse. you are
(my once splendid mountain)
my love is the ocean
that has worn you down.
with my monstrous tongue,
i pulled you in.
as you fall,
sweeping peacefully into the depths
and filling each crevice,
i am learning to inhale shores.
some would say i'm suffocating
and bring me buckets of air (only to have it
escape my slippery grip).
no, the tides need something heavy
to make of her
Solitary ManNo level of devotion could survive such betrayal. I had to stop thinking about her. I closed my eyes and savored the only thing that could warm me now—alcohol. With a deep breath, I filled my lungs with cigarette smoke. These were my only true companions in life. I reached across the table for a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels. The cap was already off. The next shot went done like all the rest.More Like This
My ears were tired of all the sounds. I was fed up with the laughter that reverberated through the soles of my shoes each night. When I started all of this, I swore to myself I’d never get bored.
Somehow, after years of obsession with the joys and nuances of life, I’d grown weary of it all. Things had changed. My life wasn’t all I had thought it would be.
I remember when I was three years old, how my uncle would put on Elvis records and I’d grab up my tiny plastic banjo and strum it madly, like I knew what I was doing. I was a rambunctious little boy but
A Short VisitIn the country,More Like This
the scarcity of humanity,
our ability to stand outside and be alone,
holds an undeniable appeal to me.
Even in the cold, the quiet can be
a great friend. The sun was out today,
pleasant on the skin. The wind had subdued
from last night's blowing. I sat in my
great-grandfather's metal lawn chair.
He kept this one outside the barn.
Told me once how he found a meteorite
in the chair. Said it hit the barn
and bounced right down to sit a spell.
Said it gave him a little shock,
a space-spark he called it,
when he picked it up from its resting spot.
How old was he then?
My age? I only recall an aged,
bald, weathered, cowboy who still preferred
to do his business in the outhouse
instead of the indoor room with water
from pipes. He told me
he knew when I was being born
because his knees itched from where
I would sit and his hands stung
from where he would spank me.
He and Granny shared a small house,
blown by the horrid western Oklahoma wind,
on a hill that overlooked their pond
The Problem With Elia.she could have been a violin;More Like This
born a week too late, she had
melancholy in her bones: doctor lizbet
took time out of her schedule to pluck her
newborn strings - calloused sanitation against
mottled pink-and-yellow flesh & thrashing limbs.
in three more years, she will have
nothing in her bones at all: doctor estair
diagnosed her with iatrophobia to fuel her
instinctive chords - ripple-free shells of liquid
lobotomy & a capsule to callous her pink-and-yellow
flesh against the thought of just getting over it all.
ten years after that, her mother will
find her face down and thrashing: her dust
bunny bones will flex as she retches up her memories
for display - lawyers will spend the next few years pawing
through them with clawed hands and heaving breathing until
one day, they find lizbet and estair huddled amid the rubble of her bones.
FateMore Like This
Bound by fate, you and I
Bonds hold us even through time
Hand in hand we’ll face all to come
For our souls are not two-but one
Just a whisper in the night
You never came, you never came
Death foretold of blinding white
Now the stars pour down their pain
In storm and shadow, never fear
Through Heaven and Hell, I’ll be here
Beside you, waiting for my time
Hand in hand, side by side
These are battles we can win,
our struggle lies within
Love will not leave you
Hate will not heal you
A bitter life awaits, though I have lived nine
I'll endure this suffering until the next time.
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
.I stare at the screen, waiting for some burst of inspiration to rain upon me like a meteor shower sent straight from the gods of literature heaven.More Like This
A sigh escapes my lips, and I haphazardly bash random buttons of the keyboard, watching as the blank document before me is littered with an incoherent placement of characters. The monotone click-clack seems to just resonate with the narcoleptic beating of my heart, further fueling my senseless crusade.
Where has all my writing gone?
It feels like it was just sucked right out of my soul. Ideas constantly plague my mind, yet all I can do is write them down. When I go to type them out, nothing happens. And then, just as quickly as my urge to write appears, it is gone in a flash—and all I can do is slump forward and hope that maybe next week I'll get something productive done.
My fingers halt in their endless assault of the keyboard, and my eyes slide up to scan the nonsense I've created on the bright screen. It's n
Lost In Someone Else's MindI forget who I am sometimesMore Like This
Just get lost in my head at times
Maybe its cause I lost my mind
Just tossed it right away one night
It feels as though the real me died
And now I'm just a shell
Who am I if I'm not myself
Maybe this is why I seek help
Because I am somebody else
Trapped inside this confusing hell
There must be someone I can tell
But who would believe me
There must someone who will see
That this person isn't really me
I'm locked inside and need a key
If there's anyone out there please
Don't just write me off as crazy
Help me find my way out
If I am not myself
then where have I gone?
Why am I here?Why am I here,More Like This
what have I become?
Why am I a whisper
that carries no echo?
Why am I a painting
fading away by century?
Why am I an instrument
that no one bothers to play?
Why am I a lifeboat
cast away at sea?
Why am I here,
what have I become?
Stitched Up (4/?)Tony woke first out of the three Avengers, all who had ended up sleeping on the floor, surrounded by cushions they had dragged in from various rooms shortly after Loki fell asleep. Thinking of their misunderstood martian God, Tony turned to the bed, eyes widening when he found it empty, completely devoid of life.More Like This
Shit, shit, shit. He thought, turning about the room silently, determined not to wake his friends until he knew Loki was actually missing. He crept through the pillows to the other side of the room, heaving a sigh of relief when he saw light spilling out from beneath the bathroom door. That relief soon turned to concern as he heard breathy sobs from within. He pushed on the door, saying silent thanks when he found it unlocked, and slowly moved into the bathroom, turning to look behind the door.
"Oh, Loki." A crippling sadness gripped him as he found the God of Mischief bent before the mirror, one had gripping the sink, knuckles white, the other pressing down on t
Redemption Chapter 1He stood before one of the large stone pillars at 1407 Greymalkin lane, reading the simple metal sign partially covered by climbing vines, "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters". It was starting to sprinkle and he was footsore from walking. The driver of the semi that he had hitched a ride from in Bangor had dropped him at a rest area near the Salem Center exit off interstate 684. He had looked at the map enclosed behind a thick pane of plexiglass underneath a small roofed shelter, finding his current location marked by a small red arrow with the words "YOU ARE HERE" beside it, and he had found Salem Center a few miles distant.More Like This
He'd had to ask directions once or twice. An elderly gentleman who stood in the front yard of his house with the hose aimed at a line of rose bushes was finally able to point him in the direction of Greymalkin lane though he had cast him a curious look when he mentioned Xavier's school.
He put the
Love and Mischief: oneshot"Ha!" Marcus said, pushing the girl into the dirt, laughing. "Such a shameful being as yourself, Sa'hil, is unfit to stand near me."More Like This
"What have I done to you?!" Sa'hil said, sitting up, her long black hair covered in brown dust.
"You were born," Amalin, Marcus' accomplice said, giggling mirthlessly. No older than ten, and yet she was as cruel as a Chitauri; yet everything about her physical being seemed perfect. Wavy brown hair, high cheekbones, full pink lips, glittering brown eyes sprinkled with gold, and a tall, curvy frame, like a queen. Drawing attention to herself was easy, unlike Sa'hil, whose slight build and clever features, matched with her pale skin, gray-blue eyes and straight black hair, seemingly had no appeal.
"I had no way of stopping that!" Sa'hil yelled indignantly, clenching her fists. The air rippled about her, and a wave of sudden cold washed over them, emanating from her.
"Oh, going to jinx us? turn us to ice?" Marcus teased, stepping closer to her. "Go ahead, lit
RetributionLoki gazed at himself in the golden plate. 20 years had passed since he had tasted the throne, and since it had been ripped from his lips. Only 19 years had passed since he had almost become the king of the Earth, and given a throne in prison. Now he had to abdicate that throne and was still, and forever would be, a prince of Asgard. His hand felt so light and grounded without the electric scepter in it.More Like This
When had he fallen so low?
"Loki!" A friend, one of the peasant gods that he had once ruled over, skidded around the corner. He was out-of-breath, and couldn't seem to articulate his thoughts. "He'she's"
Loki placed his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Take your time. Take a breath. Whatever it is you need say can wait for you to catch your breath."
"No. It cannot," he wheezed. He paused to take a large breath. "Your sonit was done today. And, they decided. It would be tonight."
"Tonight?" Loki smiled, then chuckled. "I don't understand. It was set for a week from to
Hope and FearI am beguiledMore Like This
Your scent draws me near
And you say what I'd hoped you would
Your lips on mine are soft and welcoming
Your touch is gentle and kind
I hope to heaven that you are not a ruse
Not an ideal that was never really reached
But while you entice me
You confuse me
You accept me as yours
But it seems hard for you to hear me
You rush when I wish to move slowly
I am torn as my head tries to
Persuade my body of its morals
Now I fear and welcome your touch
I do not wish to disappoint anyone
Not you nor myself nor my loved ones
Trust comes with time
Time that I desperately need now
Try not to worry me
And I will do the same for you