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To bore you witless...... Another personal update.
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Into week two back at uni, and I'm now considering a slight change of course. My anxiety levels have crept back up both in my academic and personal life, and I'm well aware that while all of it may be unjustified, some of it, particularly some of the self criticism, has a truthful basis. However I'm in no fit state to actually be able to work on these root issues on the personal side because I can barely stay calm for an hour during the day, because I am unwell, fatigued from constantly being anxious, lonely but in no mood to deal with people (and not good company when I try), and I'm struggling with classes.
So I'm going to start here, with some things I rarely admit.
1). I'm not particularly smart, or hardworking. I spend a lot of time wasting time, and the rest rushing to catch up with all the things I should've done, and as for academic intelligence, I bluff it most of the time because I hate admitting when something is difficult or confusing for
Nature.We've overcomplicated life. We've compromised the natural order of things, and what's more we've gotten complacent. Theres a flow to it all, a set of rules nature follows, that works…it work's without us meddling. Our mind's may be our biggest adversary, it feeds our ego, our ego feed's our thoughts, our thoughts feed our actions, and we act like we're superior to nature, when in actuality we are also, nature. We try and figure things out, we conclude answer's that we accept undoubtedly as truth, and this from the people who once thought with all sincerity that the world was flat––it's true until it isn't, that's how it works; which means that there's a heavy chance all we believe to be true, might not be. Why the need to know all, why the need for superiority and detachment from every other living species (over 8 million species, not the amount of them, just the amount of groups of entities we've managed to track, take in mind the ocean is pretty much a big question
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