BonesBonesMore Like This
Deep within a forest green, a ruined tower can be seen. Sheltered by whispering trees, the sight it may appear serene, but hides a secret most obscene.
The trees they warn all who may approach, not to proceed and not to encroach, upon the grounds of the this ruined tower where rests a being most cruel and dour.
A warning is carried through the wind, advising retreat, your advance rescind. For if you continue and dare to thread, upon this sullied ground once pure, an image of dread you will meet for sure.
The fell creature was once a noble thing, perhaps a chieftain, perhaps a king. Black sickness claimed his luminous life and cursed his soul with an unending strife.
Within the tower, upon his throne of stone, the king awaits those that would come alone. To challenge their courage and spirit test, and give to the undead a final rest.
His soul is twisted, tortured by time. His dead hand beckons you forth, come end his crimes. Can you raise your blade, can so sever his head, so he m
One Day at a RestaurantExcuse me. I couldn't help but overhear, as you're the loudest and most talkative table in the restaurant. Did you actually make the claim that people see horror films to see the 'point where the person is at the depths of despair and decides, but ultimately fails, to fight back'? Did you?More Like This
Wow. I've heard a lot of bullshit, sir, but that takes the cake. I mean, you must be the most self-deluded person in the restaurant.
Oh, you're a playwright? Well, I guess that trumps me. You see, I have a kid stepbrother. And everyone knows that textbook reading trumps real-world experience. I mean, your books must go into great deal about what people like: drama and such. Whereas I listen to my kid brother talk about "That was sick! He had nails in his eyes! And then the girl got her intestines ripped out, cooked, and force-fed back to her! And you should have seen the way that guy got decapitated! It was off the chart!" Obviously what my kid stepbrother... and all his friends... and my OTHER kid s
The Knife FallsMore Like This
The Knife Falls
There is a park somewhere, with swings and a slide. It is much the same as every other park. It is only differentiated by the children who play there, the toddlers that are pushed there in prams, the teenagers who try their first cigarettes there. Night descends, and from one point of view something is lost in the park. From another point of view, something in the park takes its place where it has always belonged.
A boy of about twelve is playing in the park. He is shuffling through the long grass at the borders, looking for interesting things. Recently, he has found several golf balls, magazines that his parents would not approve of and a dead hedgehog. The hedgehog had been used as a football, or possibly a golf ball to replace the ones lost in the long grass. The sky is the colour of peach-and-barley, and the boy is thinking of going home when he finds something Special in the long grass. He is too scared to pick it up, despite the way it glitters at him and m
Every Fanfic Ever WrittenTHE EXPLANATORY FICMore Like This
(CHARACTERS do something interesting. CAMERA fades to black in the middle of it.)
CAMERA: Well, I'm done here.
AUTHOR: Like hell you are.
THE BACKSTORY FIC
CHARACTER: Alas, I do not have much of a backstory.
AUTHOR: Now you do!
CHARACTER: ... hooray?
THE BACKSTORY FIC, PART 2
EXTREMELY MINOR CHARACTER: I have no backstory, no personality, and perhaps three lines of dialogue.
AUTHOR: Well, we can't have that.
THE MARY SUE
CHARACTER: I'm OOC.
MARY SUE: I'm stereotypical.
CHARACTER: I love you.
MARY SUE: I love you too, snookie-ookie-wookums.
CHARACTER: Something is wrong.
SELF-INSERT: I can fix it!
CHARACTER: You're very strong.
SELF-INSERT: I can beat you all up!
CHARACTER: You're fourteen.
SELF-INSERT: And I can solve all your problems!
CHARACTER: That's wonderful! We trust you utterly!
THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FIC
CHARACTER: We won! It's over!
AUTHOR: Like hell it is.