Before I Can Become a WriterDevelop insomnia. DevelopMore Like This
problems with substance abuse,
nothing serious, but enough
that I can say “write drunk,
edit sober” and mean it.
Drink tea. Write about drinking
tea. Take up smoking, ignore
the thoughts about it being
a slower suicide. Write about
suicide. Don’t mean it.
Write about sunsets and
ink veins. Mean it.
Fall in love with someone
who will never love me back.
Lament. Write a million
crappy poems and two good
ones. Never show him.
Move on. Write a few more
bad poems. Fall in love with
someone perfect. Screw it up.
Fall in love with someone awful.
Call him perfect. Screw it up.
Cry. Cry for the inevitable,
the way my family never
loved me right, the way my
first kiss was regrettable
at best, the way my therapist
says my depression is a demon
taking over me. Cry for the
changeable, the way
I hate my body and my writing
and everything I live to be.
Use clichés. Live clichés,
breathe clichés, be
a cliché. Write a poem
how to become a writerhave parents that separateMore Like This
when you’re in high school;
a father filled with unused anger
and a mother too busy to care.
pretend it doesn’t hurt.
let your friends treat you
everything is your fault.
listen to their problems with a fake smile
all the while crying out because
everything hurts and no one can see.
press a knife to your skin,
but be too cowardly to
draw your own blood.
fall in love with people
who could never notice you,
just. not. good.
chew on the multicolored
strands of your hair.
(you can’t stop running
from who you really are.)
carry around a notebook
and scrawl eve
MaskShe wears a mask like it’s nothing.More Like This
Sometimes I forget it was made by demons.
I forget there’s a person living behind it.
Depression (in Eight Parts)I.More Like This
I took a walk once, and
Depression walked alongside me.
"I want to be alone," I told him.
"I know," he replied,
"Why do you think I'm here?"
"I have a plan,"
Depression said to me.
"Not today," I said.
He frowned and asked,
"How did you know my plan?"
I gave the weekend over to Depression
but he took three days
instead of two.
"Think of it as an investment," he said.
"And maybe I'll let you have a Friday night
Fallen to the floor
I look up and see
he's smiling at me.
"You know what they say
about old dogs."
He's doing this on purpose,
I know he is-
and it's working.
"They can't learn new tricks?"
I asked, playing my part.
"No," he replied,
I walked away,
my Trials and Tribulations
defeated behind me.
but even he took a moment
and whistled low.
"I don't think much of you, but
those were some big guys."
I answered honestly:
"What were they,
compared to you?"
I looked Depression in the eye
staring without pardon or
.throw my bonesMore Like This
on the fire just
to warm up your
there and wonder
why you're always
Ugly"Ugly", they called herMore Like This
"No boy would ever like you," they told her
"Cause you're just a bitch," they said
"Fatty!" they yelled every time she walked by
That night, she would not eat
She refused food from her parents
She passed up dinner, instead choosing to hide in her bed
All because they called her "fat"
Her ribs were showing in a week, for she had not eaten in days
Dark circles were under her eyes, covered up with globs of makeup
Bright pink lips, bright pink eyelids
Bright pink cheeks - all 'cause they called her "ugly"
"Slut", they'd hiss when she wore the skirt her brother had torn
"Whore", they'd say as she walked by wearing too much makeup
"You're a slob," they told her as she ate, sloppily polished nails clicking on the table
"Freak" was their new nickname for her
One month later, she was just laying in bed
On her laptop, checking Facebook
Messages all over her profile
"Just die already"
"You deserve it"
"Fat, ugly, slutty bitch"
"Why haven't you killed yourself yet?"
Cross Country Quotes Part 1Since I am in Cross Country, this seems like a good idea.More Like This
"The only good pace is a suicide pace, and today looks like is a good day to die."
"If Cross Country was easy they'd call it Football."
"You ask me why I run? The same reason I breathe."
"We don't yield to pedestrians."
"Run like you stole something."
"May the course be with you."
"Cross Country-Everything else is just a game."
""Cross Country; Finally a real use of golf courses."
"Our sport is your sport's punishment."
"Obsession. A word used by the lazy to describe the dedicated."
"The wishbone will never replace the backbone."
"Where were you at 5 a.m.?"
"No one ever drowned in sweat."
"Cross Country is a mental sport and we're all insane."
*I found these all online. I claim no ownership.