I Am NotI am not Ugly; you're just holding the mirror wrong.
I am not Blind; I just love to listen.
I am not Retarded; I just learn differently than you.
I am not ADHD; the world just fascinates me.
I am not Depressed; this is how I smile
I am not Fat; I'm just as big as my heart.
I am not Bisexual; I want to share my love with all.
I am not Cross-eyed; One eye sees beauty in this universe,
the other looks towards my future.
Before you think you may have the answer, on who I'm supposed to be,
I am not Special; I'm just being me.
Black and WhiteI have died prematurely,More Like This
long before my time.
Though I still gasp in cold air,
I have lost lasting life.
My heart still pushes on steadily,
endlessly until the end.
But if you look into my eyes,
you will know emptiness.
So stick me in a gilded coffin:
colour my face with rouge.
Adorn me in golden jewellery that now
never will again be used.
Decorate my memory:
make me swift, smart, and kind.
Think of me as angelic,
forget who I was inside.
For I have passed away my soul
to traders on the streets.
I have left to Higher Places:
pray I don't suffocate.
"She lives now in a dreamland,"
you whisper in the night.
But remember who I've always been:
I dream in Black
The PunishmentBurn the bridgesMore Like This
I've worked to build
And you will start
I'll take you as
I dare you to!
Awaken it -
The beast within -
You shall bring pain
A plague upon
Know I'll break you
A flood will come,
I'll burn your heart.
Betray me and
I will unleash
My wrath upon
Your traitor soul
I'll take you as
I will rise
To conquer you
And you'll regret
I'm confused, but liking it.I haven't had any real depression/anxiety attacks lately, strangely enough. I've been calm for the most part, and only once have I been in danger of slipping recently. I took control of it. I moved on, even though it was my only real goal for this semester, because I know I can go on without it. I don't need a group to sing, and there are people already in my life that appreciate me and like me for who I am. I love those people. They mean the world to me and I love who they are. We pick each other up and sometimes knock each other down, but that's who we are and I need these people like air; not some silly singing group. But I digress. The point is that I'm loving life right now and even when it's troubling me, I'm able to look at the lighter side of things and I'm loving it.More Like This
BetrayalYour eyes are now empty, only bloodlust remains.More Like This
In the crimson fury of your eyes, my fear reflects.
Can you feel?
Do you see what you've become?
But even if you see,
you can't return, can you?
Suffering as a monster, you'll merely watch your own destruction.
So it's true, isn't it?
You wouldn't do this.
This isn't you.
You can't come back.
A deceiver has taken your body.
Your empty eyes give you away.
This isn't you,
but my heart still breaks.
Because you promised.
That promise is shattered by your new-found claws.
They control themselves.
Cutting through me,
But I long for this pain.
Impossible to keep.
It's finally shattered.
And even in knowing
our promise was,
My heart was willing to believe.
I Am Not to be CrossedRage courses through my body as I look upon the whore,More Like This
A laugh jumps from my throat, she knows what lies in store.
She knew she tread on thin ice when crossing me,
I thought it was obvious, how dangerous it would be.
Her hands trailed across my broad shoulders seductively,
Quite aware, was I, that she wanted me to think of it as lovingly.
Weary I was, of the games she was playing,
Its alright now, though, for her blood is spraying.
Games bore me and I have no time to be teased,
I found that, only if she is dead, will I ever be pleased.
A steel, cold, blade rests firmly within my grasp,
One single stroke to her skin, was all it took to make her gasp.
An expert, I am with the blade,
For six years, every night I have practiced on myself, I am its slave.
There is strength in my every muscle, every inch,
It will certainly come in handy, to snap her neck, in just a pinch.
Well aware, is she, that I am an enemy to be feared,
Only too late does she know, and now her flesh has been seared.
size zeroi drape my body into the waterMore Like This
and my bones float away from my skin.
hipbones jutting like icebergs,
the concave of my stomach drowning as
water cries down my waterfall-stoned ribs.
absolution ripples across stained wrists,
delicate kisses pawing clawless
as my heartbeat barely touches the water.
i wring my eyes and cobweb them shut,
clumsily stepping blind from the water.
my fingertips curl desperately
as i draw my nails down marble,
hounding artifice to smother my ruined body.
i meticulously fold and wrap the cloth
spinning a corset of crosshairs
that stifle my lungs of capacity,
and others eyes of realisation.
tears melt my eyes awake.
i look down over my protected frame,
spun like flax into cotton.
out of sight
[and i'm] out of mind.
everyone dies"breathe,"More Like This
he tells her, because
her lips are bluer
than her eyes
that is all he can
think to say-
their hands stem
into each other
puckered with veins
have to breathe."
"mm," she hums
and it comes out
like broken song,
of their warmth,
thin and hopeless-
like a piano
"okay." he says,
tracing her skin.
time is running
can do is
watch as she
in your hair."
he gasps, because
the sky is bluer
than her lips
which are bluer
than her eyes
her hair is
as wet as his eyes,
and all he can think
a cliche in reversex.More Like This
he kisses her once, hard on the mouth.
and then he turns to leave.
there are butterflies in her stomach and fairies in her feet and she yells to his back: "i won't forget you."
he stops, but doesn't turn around to face her. and then, so softly, so quietly that she might've imagined it, she hears:
she knows he's going to leave soon.
it's only a matter of time.
on their last day together, she breaks: "it doesn't have to be this way."
silence, and then:
"...you know it does."
the days turn into weeks turn into a month and she can feel time sweeping by.
they don't hold hands or snuggle or touch lips or share secrets, but she knows him.
she knows the way his lips curve just so into the most beautiful smile. the way his hair falls over his eyes when he's upset,
the way he knows when she's upset and the way his voice cradles her name and...
she knows him.
"you know," she starts, sipping on her cherry-soda. "you're not like everyone says you are."
"you're not so
Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teethMore Like This
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
So sharp so
I know I
And really I
Arm’s too full of blood
From attempts to
Join the stars.
Photo album of
My diary of my
I am still
It's all my fault.Do you ever have those momentsMore Like This
Of intense sadness?
A kind of sadness that threatens
To take you over and engulf your soul
It's such a profound feeling
And you end up
In such a pit of despair
Because nothing you do
Ever turns out right
Because you can't even seem
To help the one you love most
Because you're just a failure
Through and through
Nothing you do it right
Everything is a mistake
You're a mistake
You want nothing more
Than to succeed
And to help the one you love
But you just can't
You can try
But you just mess it up
And end up causing something disastrous
It all builds up inside of you
All coming together
To form that sadness
That you're feeling
And the only way to deal with that sadness
Is by ripping open your own skin
You just cut
Over and over again
Getting lost in the rhythm
Not even thinking about how much damage you're causing
The pain is worth it
After all you caused it
So you deserve every single cut
That you inflict on yourself
So you just keep cutting
And as the blood
To have and to holdI don't mind if we don't kissMore Like This
it's okay if we never have sex
I would enjoy both but for you
I would gladly give them a miss
It's fine if we never get married
true the planning would be a pain
I won't be sad if we don't have kids
but it would be a joyous gain.
All I want is to hold you
feel you safe in my arms
and knowing when you hold me back
were both still in love.
Faded memoryYou run but it's like walkingMore Like This
Step backwards through an open door.
The effort just to keep talking
But they don't listen anymore.
Your heart beats you to a blur
Only cry when no-one can see.
She's good and you aren't her
Watch faded tapes of memory.
TrappedI feel trapped like a bug in amber,More Like This
Trapped like a bird in a cage.
I never wanted to be here,
So turned around at my age.
I thought I'd be somewhere lovely
Where the sun shines and the rain pours.
Not here in the middle of nothing and nowhere,
Here I can't feel anymore.
I feel so lost in the woods,
So lost to myself.
I never wanted any of this.
Like a child, my world's on a high shelf.
I thought I would be there with it.
In it things would happen; would exist.
Not like this with no-one and no way.
My world is like smoke in a fist.
Prison of RulesYou can't escape a jailMore Like This
If there is no lock to fail,
If there are no bars to slip through
And the prison is of your mind too.
Real walls would leave hope,
A battle to help you cope.
But thoughts can bind too tight
To leave a chance of winning the fight.
So many people seeing, blind
A prison a million people designed
You can't escape culture's rules
They aren't physical, there are no tools.
HomeMama' said "pack up your stuff, we're leaving for a while"More Like This
"We're going away from here"
"There's no time for sorting through your things"
"We've got to get out right now".
With no idea of what was going on
I loaded up the car
No chances for goodbye's
No last hug.
We headed to town
Where mama' looked for a new house
It was a three-story flat
In the middle of the slum.
Daddy was at work that day
He didn't know that we were gone
Coming home to an empty house
He came looking for us
He wasn't alone.
Daddy found us at the back of a shop
Trying to get me to come home
I wanted to run into his arms
But mama' said "no".
She made me believe he was a bad guy
That everything he done was wrong
I was only seven years-old
How was I to know?
Tears now streaming from my eyes
What was I to do?
Was this the end of "family"
Was it the start of something new?
Mama' took off with me in her car
We drove back to the slum
I was caught in the middle
Of a war that cannot be won.
Over the years I've moved many hou
Current thoughts. gah.Pain doesn't even exist anymore.More Like This
I'm just numb.
Numb from everything you do
Numb from everything they do.
Numb from everything.
School BellsNine in the morning was the start of hellMore Like This
Children walking to class just after the bell
Pushing me aside, slamming me into walls
This was just the beginning of it all.
During lessons they'd pass notes
Writing to each other about my clothes
Picking at every 'bad' thing, putting me down for fun
This was only the beginning of round one.
Lunch time came, I was sitting alone
Playing guitar and listening to tunes on my phone
This kid came up and started yelling vulgar words
Next thing I know, I was covered in dirt.
After lunch I set forth to class
Looking up and locking eyes with each person I pass
Their eyes filled with hate, anger, and dismay
None of them stopped to ask if I was okay.
Come three in the afternoon, the bell rang
Kids from every corridor leaving the school gates
This one group followed me down to the park
They beat me to the ground until I couldn't get up.
Covered in bruises, grazes, and cuts
I walked home, and slammed my bedroom door shut
Prepared to BurnPrepared to BurnMore Like This
He cowers before me, I can’t help but smile
For almost twenty years he has known me
And he had gloried in my pain, drank well on my tears
But now he no longer looks upon me with hate
Now it’s his turn to be afraid
I am stronger now, stronger than him
Ready to die and prepared to burn?
He had his fun last year, so much so he almost won
But in my countless defeats at his hands he gave me one victory
And with that everything he had, all my guilt and pain
The blended remains of my heart, turned to ash in his hands
Now he flees from the light of the fire, but not me
I am stronger now, stronger than him
Ready to die and prepared to burn?
He had a year, the best year of his life
A year of isolation, depression, heart-break and failure
For a whole year he built me my funeral pyre
But when he saw me start the fire
He realised his mistake, and what he had forced me to do
I am stronger now, stronger than him
Ready to die and prepared to burn?
Now he cannot esca
My Own Worst EnemyMy Own Worst EnemyMore Like This
I ‘m not afraid of any man or woman, what can you do to me?
Hurt me? Bully me? Bruise me? Break me?
You’ve already done that, and it hasn’t stopped me
I’m not afraid of any of you, because you are not like him
You think you are bad? You think you can hurt me?
You are nothing, nothing compared to him
My own worst enemy.
You think you know me? He knows me better
You’ve had only minutes, hours, days, weeks
He has had all my life to know everything
Everything I feel afraid of, ashamed of, hurt by
And use it to make my waking moments akin to hell
You are nothing, compared to him
My own worst enemy
Every mistake, every failure and every heart-break
It brings a smile to his face, my pain is his pleasure
He exists only to drive the final nail in my coffin
And worst of all he is patient, he will wait all my life
When you start to get too rough I can escape, you can never catch me
But he knows all my getaway tunnels and is waiting at the en
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?More Like This
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
Spoken Word #1You're telling me this is the best for meMore Like This
but this is all just a scheme
Telling right from wrong, was it true all along?
Godammit woman, just leave me alone!
15 years pass and I still don't know shit
If I don't know, might as well just hit
Hit the road, hit the city, or hit the wall
I just want all of this gone
Talking is all you do
Trying to make up the nasty words you threw
"Forgive me daughter" "I miss my mother"
Crying everyday because of your bull crap
Just wanting to get smacked
In just two years, I'll be leaving this place
By then, you'll be regretting everything you said
In just two years, I'll be stronger than before
Standing up for myself against you
Now you think in the near future,
I would regret my words
Hell no, fuck that!
There's no way I'm turning back
Battle Against the Creeper King: PROLOG PROLOG.More Like This
It had been a long night of live streaming and Martyn was ready to go home. He was in YogTowers with Toby, who he invited to livestream with him. it was Toby's first time in the building, so as Martyn expected he kept looking around and asking questions "what's this room for?" He kept asking. Eventually Martyn just told him to shut up. "it's getting late." Martyn said to Toby. "want to just come with me to my flat and stay the night?" he asked. Toby yawned. "Sure." he said. they picked up their coats and headed out of the building. They walked out to the parking lot, talking about how the stream went. when they got into the car, Martyn was about to say something when Toby shushed him. "What?" he asked.
"shush! Do you hear that?" Toby asked. Martyn hushed listening closely. Then he heard it. it sounded like a low hissing sound. "what the..." he said getting out of the car. Toby got out as well. and the both looked around the car for the source of the
AverageAverage. It's such a nothing word. No one wants to feel that they're average, and yet, by the very definition, many people are. Some people are in denial, and still think they are exceptional. I'm not one of them.More Like This
Sure, I've done things. I've travelled, I get good grades, I give money to charity. But so many other people do that too. The only way to know you are exceptional is if other people tell you. The people you see in the news, the people you hear about, they are exceptional. That boy, Jack Andraka, who came up with a new, better, cheaper way to detect cancer, he's exceptional. He did that, and he's not even sixteen.
People are doing exceptional things younger and younger. There are many renowned artists, actors, writers, and inventors that aren't old enough to be served alcohol. I don't resent them their achievements. It's a wonderful thing. But one can't help but feel inadequate when compared to these young achievers.
It could have something to do with the epidemic of di
Beginning of the EndMy phone drops and hits the linoleum floor. The crack echoes throughout the court room. The LCD screen glows against the darkness of the room. My green eyes swell with hatred and depression.More Like This
"All custody belongs to the mother, Melissa Tyson." My cousin grimaces, and his Ex hugs her mother. She had lied, reported domestic abuse. And she had reported it straight to the police on the day she couldn't take it anymore. Father's Day. With one kid from a past father-Kyle-and Alex, their two year old daughter, she had left the couple's apartment and never returned. I stood as an idol to these kids, and they looked up to me. They would never get to see their idol again. All because of their selfish mother, that had not once falsely called the cops, but twice, once against her past boyfriend, the father to Kyle.
The jury leaves, and I pick up my phone. It was cracked. Not that I need it anymore. I toss it underneath the bench, and follow my parents out. I see my cousin, and bare a small smile.
The Avatar StateThe Avatar State:More Like This
Just as there are four elements
Existing in harmony with one another
So too are there four states of poetry:
Air is the element of freedom
Exemplified by the use of free verse
It has no structure and no true shape
But allows us creative control
Through the use of air as a poetic medium
We allow our emotions a freedom to be
We allow them to soar upon worded wings
Gliding freely through the skies of literature
Water is the element of the changing flow
It can be hard as ice or as soft as snow.
Its nature resembles the power of rhyme
Which grants us order and a structured mind
By pushing and pulling the words we may-
create a picture of what we wish to say
Painted upon a canvas of emotional lines
We create a sculpture of structured rhymes
Earth is uncomprising
Craggy on the whole, it resembles the concrete
Like the craggy mountains with peaks and valleys
It can take us down
A creative alley. For rock resembl
AftermathDate: 08-09-3000More Like This
Date: August 9th, 3000
- It has been 3 weeks since the meteorites hit. As I’ve written before, the shower took us all by surprise, it has destroyed most of North America. The ash and smallest bits of debris thrown up into the atmosphere have created a cloud overhead that have blocked out nearly all the sun. It has started snowing, but none of the snow is safe to melt down and drink, because half of it is mixed with the soot from the clouds. Which means the gallon of water I carry with me and my other supplies will have to suffice for now.
I’m traveling from Akron, Ohio, heading west. The clouds are heading east with the westerly winds and I’m hopping for some sunshine if I continue to head in the opposite direction of these awful life-killing clouds. All power is lost as I see it, any houses lucky enough to have survived are either disturbingly quiet or over crowded with refuges, smoke p
Waiting for YouI stare out the window, waiting for you.More Like This
I think of your eyes, which sparkle when they see me.
I think of your ears, which listen to all my silly tales.
I think of your mouth, that smiles when I'm happy.
I think of your brow, that furrows when I'm hurt.
I think of your voice, which always tries to say the right thing.
I think of your arms, that hold me when I'm sad.
I think of your hands, that help me when I need it.
I think of your shoulders, where I can rest my head when tired.
I think of your legs, which would walk a mile for me.
I think of your toes, which brush against mine at night.
I think of your heart, which is filled with love.
As I stare out the window, I think of you...and realize I'd wait an eternity for you.
DarknessThe darkness is eating meMore Like This
It has buried itself in my heart
It is ice, where the fire has burned through
It is killing me.
I need help
But no one cares
They ask, then turn away and forget.
I'm so cold
I'm trapped inside me.
I can't talk
It won't let me.
Someone did this to me.
Someone infected me, cut me, trapped me.
I trusted them.
I was wrong.
Sick LoveSick LoveMore Like This
I feel sick when I think of you,
I have bad dreams,
You plague my mind,
Like a bad memory that infects me,
It tears me apart from the inside,
I want to scream but I can't speak,
This sick love that I have for you…
Will be the death of me,
This aching pain
Caused by the fact that I care,
I wish I could say "go to hell
I don't want you, need you… love you"
But I'm consumed,
I can no longer breathe
I have lost the power of speech,
All I can feel
Is my heart speed up when I see you,
This sick love that I have for you,
It cuts me from the inside out,
This sick love that I have for you
Is sure to be the death of me.
I've finally found the reasonI've finally foundMore Like This
my reason for loving
the one with blue eyes
the pain that is bottled
that he thinks is so well
the way he cant actually
smile cause everything
reminds him of pain
I've finally found
that all I want to
do is help the pain
to see his actual smile
I've finally found the reason
why he hurts so much inside
yet I fear I am far to
late to be of any help
I've finally found a reason
to why he never leaves my
Little humming birdTiny humming birdMore Like This
I see you've lost your
your life it
slows and your scared
of the things
that you are yet to
Tiny humming bird
let me hold
and heal the
wounds you refuse
little humming bird
Can I please help you
Never set freeI should be thrown in jailMore Like This
locked up and never
'Cause I've killed
someone not so dear
I still felt the
tear as her life
she was the girl
I wanted to be
throw me in
lose the key
I don't want to be
DestinyDestiny, he calls meMore Like This
my name what a strange
mean fate and yet he
calls me by it
when he says it
it melts to my skin
covers me in the real
Destiny he calls me
He calls me by my name
it means nothing
Tragedy of the treesDoes the wind not chill the trees?More Like This
And on the ground lay their fallen leaves?
Yet they make new ones
In futile hope for the sun.
Yet every year when summer is done
Their leaves and the ground become one.
Every year they feel them die
Every year they feel them dry
They feel them freeze
And yet with such ease
They still stand tall and make new leaves
How i wish i were a tree.
My SunlightYou are my sun,More Like This
My only light,
As you fade,
The moon is there,
A memory of you,
Of the darkness,
Before your dawn.
You are the breeze,
That kisses my face,
Those tender lips,
That rushing embrace.
You are the grass,
Beneath my feet,
You hide my tears,
You support my weight.
You are the last,
One for me,
There was many before,
But they were never the same.
With you its right,
With you its love,
And if tonight,
I come above.
I'll see your glory,
From the moon,
From the memory,
Of this afternoon.
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;More Like This
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
She's a WriterShe sits at her deskMore Like This
Her headphones in,
The world shut out.
She bleeds for others
As words fly from
Her mind to her fingertips.
She stares at the screen,
At every little comment,
The good and the painful.
She forms her emotions
Into books and poems
To throw away the hurt.
She's a writer,
And her best weapons
Are her mind and her pen.
Merthur: An Everlasting Love Chapter 1In Camelot, Merlin was delivering sheets to the King's room. From outside the room, he heard moans coming from inside, opening the door slowly and creeping in, he saw Arthur facedown on his bed, sobbing inconsolably. "Arthur?" he whispered, but the reply was much the same as usual. "Go away Merlin!" but Merlin had already realised that the tears were coming from Arthur, so sitting down, he spoke softly, "I know we need to talk," Arthur buried his head in the pillows. "Merlin You're trying my patience!" Merlin paused,More Like This
"Gwen was wrong to leave you,"
Arthur rolled over, his face red and puffy, his eyelashes dripping. Merlin took a moment to consider what to do next. Arthur wasn't at his most attractive, but now was the best chance he had of Arthur listening to him, and he was the hottest man Merlin had ever seen.
"She was! You're brave, intelligent, kind, and beautiful,"
An awkward hush fell on the room, and Merlin wasn't sure if he said the right thing, but Arthur sat up. He
Imperfect WriterWords are written in a fluid motion.More Like This
The thoughts are rushing; there’s so much commotion.
Cramps arise from within my wrist.
The story continues on without a murderous twist.
Stress has crept along my back,
For there’s something I believe I lack.
I can see the blood, the horror, and the hate.
But I cannot find whatever I expected would be great.
Every time there’s something missing,
Something that I don’t believe I’m overanalyzing.
So, I add and add and add until I find a fit,
But the unknown stretches to Beyond and I lose it.
Therefore, I make it all new again and again.
It all starts over, though, and I know I cannot win.
I dread the day when the unknown will consume everything whole,
And I’m left with another unfinished goal.
I’m an imperfect writer; that much is true.
But I’m not alone; you’re with me, too.
We, writers, all have been cursed,
For the good and for the worst.
Our thoughts are contaminated with lies,
And they expand
A Letter For YouAs I pass,More Like This
My love was true.
As I die,
Read this letter for you.
I'm wasn't as tall.
I started to crumble,
Then I started to fall.
I may have acted shy,
I may have talked small.
But when I'm was with you,
I tore down my wall.
I would never leave,
Which created a lie.
Breaking my promise,
Made you cry.
You had no clue,
As to what was true.
You tried something new.
You tried to cut,
Which soon failed.
Your body dangled high,
Causing it to flail.
Now and forever,
I stay behind your door.
I sit in your drawer.
The death count rose,
From one to two.
Without reading me,
Leaves the love untrue.
HE, sees thee.
He strongly warns,
You're alone for eternity.
MisgenderedFirst things first: you wake up. You know, to the usual sound of Mother’s soft melodious singing while she cooks breakfast for you and your sister. You glance at the clock: it’s 6:30AM and somehow you manage to roll out of bed. When your mother sees you slouching in the kitchen she says “Goodmorning, Dear. Lovely bedhead.” She giggles, amused by her own self. You groan and continue walking like a Neanderthal to the table. The sweet aroma of Mother’s cooking only makes you sleepier, but the emptiness in your stomache is the only thing keeping you awake.More Like This
You then notice your sister hasn’t come down yet, your mother has noticed too.
“Elizabeth!” she shouts, “Come down to breakfast!”
You hear a soft groan coming from her room.
“Elizabeth! Breakfast is getting cold!”
That reminds you, you’re starving. You walk into the kitchen and take in the wonderful breakfast smell: Mom’s homemade pancakes with bacon. You
JackPale lips.More Like This
Flowers and bows.
A long time ago.
Blue in his eyes.
And stars now, too.
So far away.
He begs me to stay.
But I'm already gone.
Always something wrong.
Forget the tears,
Forget the smile.
I will die
Forget the laughter,
Forget the pain.
Love itI feel your hands in my hair.More Like This
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.
I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.
I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.
I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love.
I taste your passion.
I taste you and I love it.
I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
plumbumshe has a heart of goldMore Like This
and she, a heart of lead
and she, a heart of uranium.
and they go walking sometimes, the three of them.
gold is confident in her worth,
bought and sold and bought and sold
the virgin whore
and lead behind,
heart heavy in her chest
guilt from bullets
and pride from pipes
and anxiety from irreparable brain damage
and somewhere off to the side treads uranium,
white skin glowing,
thin frame for a dense core.
I'm FineMore Like This
Im fine really
No really Im fine
Why am I crying?
Im not crying
I just have something in my eye
I swear Im fine
Really I am
No hard feelings
Why are you pushing me?
I already told you Im fine
No Im not depressed
What do you mean whats on my arm
The cat scratched me, thats all
No I didnt cut myself
People who do that are crazy
I didnt cut myself
Dont think youre that special that I would want to do that
Why wont you leave me alone?
Just leave me alone
Thats all I ask
Youre not that important anyway
What do you mean I need help?
I dont need help
You need help
Youre the one who wont leave me alone
Theres nothing wrong with me
Im perfectly normal
No I am not cutting!!!!!!!
Leave me alone
Just leave me be
Let me go to my room
I slowly slid it across my wrist
Letting it rip into the warm, tender flesh
This is what they get for pushing me
Introductions"Hi, I'm-"More Like This
"I know who you are."
"You're the guy who thinks he's invisible."
"I have a name-"
"It isn't important. Because you really don't think it's important."
"All right. Since we've started out this way, let me just tell you, I know you too."
"You're the girl who is broken."
"I am not broken."
"You're the girl whose eyes close every night and open the next morning, only to find you have never slept at all."
"I sleep well. Besides-"
"You're the girl who dreams of a happy ending even though she has seen seventeen...no, eighteen unhappy ones in her eighteen years."
"Happy endings are over rated. And you're-"
"You're the girl who wants something bigger, something stronger, just so the weakness in her body becomes something so much more."
"You don't understand weakness the way-"
"You're the girl whose heart broke when she was so young, and she fixed it back together with superglue, but cannot ignore the cracks."
"Superglue makes for a good companion, especially when-"
MonsterRun.More Like This
Monsters are following you, they tell you to die.
Smile as long as you can, it won't last for a while.
You're not normal, my friend, that's all in your head.
Don't cry, you stupid child, it will start again and again.
"Talk to us.
Talk to us!
Listen to us.
We tell the truth!"
Life or Death? You need to choose.
It was too much for you and now you're dead.
And no one will be sad.
Vampire ChildVAMPIRE CHILDMore Like This
The small boy ran to the door,
to get out of class like he did before.
He ran out to the playground
of his elementary school;
He tried to fit in
so kids would think he was cool.
This boy was different:
He was not alive.
He needed blood
Other kids would taunt him
when he sat in the dark
in the corner
of the nearby park.
His teeth were sharp;
His body frail.
The sun burned him;
His skin was pale.
The boy's parents fed him every night,
Blood that came from a deadly fight.
He did not question what he consumed:
what it was, and where it came from.
He drank it down,
as he said "yum".
One day on the playground,
it started to rain.
He slipped on a rock,
and screamed out in pain.
A familiar sight, he saw,
ran down his arm.
And at his mind,
thie sight began to gnaw.
"This cannot be,
this isn't right.
What I see...
I drink every night..."
The little boy, sat thinking
all alone in the rain.
Does what he live off of,
He ran to his house,
to ask mommy an
Hair DyeIt's not the applicationMore Like This
Or the mixing.
It's not the wait,
Or the impatience.
It's the way the droplets
Run down my body,
Vibrant drips of
Splashing from the hair
Matted to my face,
Spilling down the curtain
And trailing down the walls.
The way the puddle
Beneath my feet,
Swimming down the drain.
Staining the world it rushes through.
How are you?"Hey! How are you?"More Like This
Frozen to the core,
Ready to cry some more,
Life is just rushed...
In so much pain,
Life has no gain,
Not good enough,
Life is just so rough,
No one could care less,
Sorry for complaining so much,
Sorry for being selfish and such,
"I'm fine, thanks for asking! And how are you?"
I won't Forget, and I will RegretI won't forget,More Like This
And I will regret,
Most the things I've done.
For days to come,
In a battle they have won.
Through the truth,
Even lost my pride,
While falling to the dark side.
My friends are my family,
Always standing by me.
But recently we've become distant,
Getting lost as I see.
So I won't forget,
But I will regret,
My actions and my lie.
I love you,
I trust you,
So please don't let me die.
~Ecstasypaw (Feedback Requested)
Under your bedHow to create a monster, you ask?More Like This
Quite simple if you ask the right things, know the right people.
Drown your sorrows in yourself,
take your time.
You've joined us now,
you're a fuck up. like the rest of us.
Are you proud?
you must be.
The Sky is a Myth and the Ground is a Lie.More Like This
The Sky is a Myth and the Ground is a Lie,
And yet I still can't seem to learn to fly.
I have traversed this space both far and wide,
But haven't been able to reach the other side.
I have drifted along here for such a vast amount of time,
It's a surprise I still have the ability to pair words that rhyme.
I've been collecting stardust and chest pains the majority of these years,
No longer do the windows of time produce the pitter patter of tears.
It's general eyes that generalize this familiar astral abyss,
But I've spent enough time to know what I'll soon miss.
There was a time when everything seemed clear,
But it all has been a mistake, or so I fear.
I've barely scraped the surface yet,
But the journey is ultimately set.
I suppose now I'll keep adrift,
And through it all I'll sift.
Anxiety(Panic Attack)Trembling, tingling lipsMore Like This
Heat pouring over me
My mind shuts off
I can no longer breath
I can't move
Nor can I think
All the stress
Has pushed me to the brink
I give it time
I wait until it's over
But it never goes away
I can never recover
CAR CRASHBlurring signsMore Like This
But for the
'Beep... Beep... Beep'
But for the
'Beep... Beep... Beep'
But for the
'Beep... Beep... Beep'
His Bleeding Hands poemHis Bleeding HandsMore Like This
By Scott M. S.
The young man walks away with a grim smile
The blood on his hands tell a story
He had been gone for a very long while
He says, "I think her name was Tory?"
The murder was just a few minutes ago
Tory was drifting to sleep on the couch
He thought to himself, "She would never know"
Her eyes were as wide as the sky, when he reached for her pouch
She jumps up screaming
While his gun gleams gracefully
Tory realizes she's not dreaming
As he raises his gun peacefully
She backs up to the wall
The gun sounds
She begins to fall
Across the room he bounds
He lifts her to a chair
Her face is rather pale
There's dark blood everywhere
Will he go to jail?
The man sneaks silently across the yard
He thinks to himself as he goes
The murder itself, wasn't very hard
He looks down at his bloody clothes
"What if I get caught?
Why did I even kill her?
It would mean a lot
If I hadn't killed her"
The street he's on is growing
His mind is all a mess
The gentle wind is blowing
The Boy Who WasThe school photograph on the table brought memories to her mind and tears to her eyes. It stood as a final remembrance of the boy who was. Who was a boy scout. Who was a hockey player. Who was her baby. Who still is. She couldn't put him in the past tense. Not yet. It was far too soon.More Like This
Flashes of the accident rolled into her mind like punches. Him strapping on his helmet. Him mounting his bike. His wheels hitting the street. The car speeding down the road. Him swerving a little too much to avoid a pothole. The impact.
She was crying harder now. Her husband had his arm around her. She wept into his suit. Somewhere off in the distance of the present she heard the priest say, "It is with great sadness we gather to remember a very loving little boy."
AnxietySometimes,More Like This
Sick isn't something
You can see.
When I'm standing there -
Fists bracing -
For 'no reason at all',
I hope it makes you
Feel big and tall,
To tell me I'm being stupid.
When I can't talk to someone -
Because my throat is dry,
And I feel sick,
Like I can't
Catch my breath,
Like I'm going to cry
Like I'm hurtling
Towards death -
Don't tell me to
'Get over myself'.
When I'm crying -
And my knees
And I'm too scared
And every heart
Makes me jump -
How can you tell me
I need to 'grow up'?
When I can't get on a bus -
Because so many people,
So many eyes,
And my mind is force-feeding
Me so many lies -
Don't tell me I 'think I'm better
Than everyone else'.
I'm trying my hardest.
Really, I am.
Would you tell someone with a broken leg
To just get up and walk?
Would you tell someone with no tongue
To open their mouth and talk?
Would you tell a wingless angel
So tell me why -
When it is
Selfish Suicide"People who kill themselves are selfish."More Like This
Well, darling, let me tell you a story,
A story all too true.
A daughter who became a wife, a wife who became a mother.
A mother of three girls...
One just above the age of a toddler,
One at the age of twelve,
And one entering the life of a married adult.
Now, the youngest girl was watching television,
And the oldest at the neighbor's home.
The twelve year old daughter sat at a computer with her closest friend,
When something terrifying happened.
Her mother was in the kitchen, coughing.
The daughter, although unable to see her mother, only could imagine the situation.
The mother walked calmly past the daughter with tears rushing down her face,
And up the stairs she went,
Into her bedroom...
Locking the door behind her.
The daughter, hearing the door lock, didn't bother to check on her mother.
She decided to expect and hope for the best.
Five, maybe ten minutes passed, the daughter still sitting at the computer,
When the mother stumbled down the
Love Letters On the TrainDear Stranger,More Like This
I'm leaving this post-it tucked in the side of the train-seat. If you're reading this, you've seen it. I've seen you sit here every few Monday mornings, sometimes tapping a bent, unlit cigarette against your thigh, sipping from your tea (who brings a tea cup onto a train anyway?); sometimes staring at the rain outside, or reading your well-worn, beaten copy of Jane Eyre (I hate that you fold the corners down - it's bibliophilic abuse. I wish the book would papercut you to defend itself a little, but I digress).
You seemed so sad this Monday morning past. Please smile again. I love it when your eyes catch the light of something I'm unaware of, something silently and intimately your own; a secret from the world that makes everything all the more meaningful to you.
- The Passenger
I'm not in the habit of reading post-its from strangers. I found a love-letter hidden in a newspaper once, that the author forgot or was too afraid to send. It made me sad to think
Homosexuality BitesThey found me slumped over in the school showersMore Like This
With a towel loosely wrapped around my waist
Scalding hot water was blistering my skin
As I bled from an unspeakable place
A hard-handed teacher dragged me to my feet
With little or no sign of sympathy
For the bruising to my feeble framed ribcage
And the fractures to my identity
I think they all thought that I had it coming
As no one was willing to testify
That the sodomy inflicted upon me
Was something to which I hadn’t complied
Boisterous boys laughing in the corridors
As I shamefully limped throughout the day
Not a thought for the pain that was inflicted
Just worried for what my parents would say
I couldn’t bear it if I saw in their eyes
That I deserved everything that I got
As they are the ones who created my heart
Whether they care for whom it beats or not
So I will take a discriminate beating
If my resolve will help people to see
That I can not be anything more or less
Than the person that I was born to be
R.I.P.Did anyone notice that she winced if you raised your arm?More Like This
Did anyone notice that her eyes were wide with alarm?
Did anyone notice that she never looked you in the eye?
Did anyone notice that her voice was but a sigh?
Did anyone notice that her skin was always bruised?
Did anyone question whether she might be abused?
Did anyone question why she walked in obvious fear?
Did anyone question why one day she did not appear?
Did anyone recognize her face on the six-o’clock news?
Did anyone see her remains pulled from the river refuse?
Did anyone care that this quiet girl no longer exists?
No. No one did. And she will never even be missed.
Dear YouDear YouMore Like This
You are a hurricane.
You are a volcano.
You are a flurry of beautiful violence;
A plume of volcanic ash cast into the sky.
You are all the voices of the world;
A scream and a whisper and a sigh.
You are the beauty of the earth;
An exquisite wildfire, divine in its destruction.
And you are so strong.
You are stronger than this weight on your shoulders,
You are stronger than this emptiness in your chest,
You are stronger than all these things that dare get in your way.
You will charge past these things;
These regrets, these desires, these insecurities.
You will get through every pitfall and mistake and slipup,
And you’ll be made better for it.
You are unbeatable, unconquerable and unstoppable.
Every obstacle, an opportunity,
Every failure, a lesson.
You will beat this because you are better than this.
You will beat this because you are you.
And that is a powerful thing.
I Know You Hate Me Now But...I Know You Hate Me Now But...:More Like This
Just give me a chance alright, I'll explain
To me, you're the girl that I notice everything about.
The way you laugh, the way you smile;
We got along great back then, even if we don't now.
And to be honest, I miss that...
You had the most lovely silky smooth hair
You'd give me the cutest anime girl smile
I wish I'd talked to you more about Manga,
Hell you got me started on the whole thing.
You were fantastic at drawing too
Man I was always jealous of that talent,
And I loved your drawings, like I once loved you.
I wish that you could have been a professional.
I would have bought your book every month y'know...
You encouraged me to write.
Back when my stories were shit,
Back when my poems were still baby's rhymes.
You taught me not to give in and I was grateful.
Now just let me finish alright?
I know that you won't speak to me.
That's okay, I admit to being an ass,
But the reason that I'm writing this poem to nobod
sticks and stones may break my bonesMore Like This
trees of life
grow to die
birds of a feather
aging makes you wither
why carry on with this game
we don't even know who to blame
we thought we were perfect
but the way it ended, who would suspect
By CandlelightCandlelightMore Like This
Cast demons, on the wall.
Puppets dance, throughout the hall.
Flickered wick, blazing tip.
Liquired fuel, howling ghouls.
Gift of sight
Voiceless breeze, whistling trees.
Mortal folly, horror trolley.
Wax burns, gears turn.
Dying spark, frozen heart.
Planet CancerMore Like This
Planet cancer, is the answer.
Build it taller.
Build if faster.
Fate controlled, by tyrant masters.
Planet cancer; is the answer.
Soak the Earth,
in smog and brine.
Choke this world,
in soot and grime.
Healthy Earth, left behind.
Planet cancer; why oh why?
Planets laugh, the time is nigh.
One of them, nature dies.
Our roles for Earth, we defy.
Planet cancer; why oh why?
IndigoIndigo:More Like This
The color of her soul.
If you’d ask me, I wouldn’t know.
Everyday at 8am, she would come inside my paint shop.
Hiding her face with her hand, turning away with a smile showing. And in a pleasant timid tone, she would ask,
"One tube, of Indigo"
The only color she ever asked for—ever needed really.
I found it queer, very weird, but what was worse is when she asked me for her paint brush.
I handed it to her, but not in haste, just to see how she would react.
She paid me, like anyone else, but unlike everyone else, she tore the bristles one by one from the handle; just humming.
Then she asked, “May I have a pair of scissors?”
I chuckled inside, was she a wizard? Standing there with what was left of the brush, her wand. Cutting a piece of her locks, she just smiled and left.
And every morning, I’d watch her paint. But what was so odd, so very strange; she painted full color pictures...it was insane. Picasso works; it was incredible.
Why I DiedCan I tell you how I died?More Like This
Why it rhymes with suicide.
Not because, I fell ill.
Not because, I swallowed pills.
Soon you'll see why I lie still.
Not because, I have drowned.
Not because of, Russian Roulette's
Deaf words of mine,
preach no sound.
Not because, the fault of life
Not because, the sharpened knife.
Real reason, why, tears went dry.
Not because, I jumped to fall.
Not because, this body I mauled.
The more I remember,
the harder too recall.
The true answer is i'm,
But to me,
the meaning of suicide:
R.I.P R.I.PMore Like This
"Rest in peace"
Or at least,
what we all think it means.
How may I rest, six feet under;
in a tomb?
Alone and cold, in soiled womb?
They said, after death,
"You have nothing to worry."
"Reside in purgatory"
Why bury me in damp grave?
So far away from heavens gates?
I feel the warmth, know it well.
Another half inch, I'd burn in hell.
But in this shell, lifeless; sedated.
Ironic you wanted me cremated.
Is this wrong? Or is this right?
jokes on me I guess that's life.
At least for some,
"Reveal in Paradise"
If Ever I Lost YouWhat weighs on your mind?More Like This
What's taking up your time?
You tell me not to worry and you swear you're really fine
Please open up to me
Tell me of your fears
You know I'll kiss the scars and I'll wipe away your tears
Don't keep it to yourself
You know you're not alone
I couldn't live my life without you ever coming home
I'd be so lost inside
I wouldn't recognize
The person that I see in the reflection of your eyes
Just tell me you're okay, and that you love me too
I don't know what I'd do
If ever I lost you…
Missing Pieces.I am a missing piece. Something that someone needs.More Like This
But at the same time, I feel so incomplete.
I’ve wandered way too far, wondered for far too long
Am I a missing piece? Or a piece that won’t belong?
Is it possible I’m damaged and not missing at all?
That I’m just as dysfunctional as everybody else?
Pretending to be perfect never softened a single fall.
But neither did admitting that you’re broken and flawed.
A broken missing piece. Is that all I’m meant to be?
There is no master plan that includes the likes of me.
Being all alone, it’s a hurt that will not cease.
A hundred thousand years from now
I’ll still be
Wonder.Do you fear your own death?More Like This
Is it hard to conceive?
Draw in your last breath, then-
Your last breath will leave.
Isn't it strange to think,
That there's a timer above your head?
A countdown you can't see,
That finishes when you're dead.
Don't you ever wonder,
What it'll be like when you're gone?
I bet the world will keep on spinning.
There will be another dawn.
But the harsh reality behind it-
We're all going to die.
There's no reason to try to fight it
Not even to question why.
It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,
Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...
I'm afraid of how I'll
Savior.I have this darkness deep inside me,More Like This
It's what influenced this writing.
I can't control it, I can't fight it,
Barely know it, and can't hide it.
I'm just a mess with no ambition;
So much less than I envisioned.
How much more can I endure?
I don't know, I'm not too sure...
I'm not myself when I'm alone,
And yet I find I'm on my own.
I'm like a lock without a key,
There is no perfect fit for me!...
You're not alone.
Don't think like that.
Pick your head up.
I believe in you.
You can do it.
I love you...
Are you here to prove me wrong?
To make me see the brighter dawn?
With this darker side, this part of me,
How can you love someone like me?
I don't care, I'm glad you do...
Where would I be if it weren't for you?
You pulled me through the worst of times,
I never thought I'd call you mine...
Yes, I'm a mess, but this mess is forever yours.
Together we can unlock and open up these remaining doors.
And I'm not backing down as long as you're by my side...
Hold on to my hand and we'l
Last breathLast BreathMore Like This
Sinking, was I sinking?
The numbness of the water engulfed my every touch and soul;
I could not see beyond the terrible light
That shined between the icy surface;
Breathing, was I still breathing?
Sad memories forgotten;
Memories filled with words now lost;
Save me, will someone save me?
Where did the hope disappear?
I could not feel the fear that once held on to me,
But only the longing to see the Green fields once again,
The grassland that bloomed beside the ice;
The magic of the the spring that would never end,
Or was that all a dream?
Every existence, now dissappearing from my eyes,
I Heard a gente voice speak to me,
You must not resist, it said;
Is it fate that has brought me here? I desperately asked;
The voice did not answer my last hope;
You have held you breath for too long my friend,
Now you must let go
And become a beautiful soul of the water to spend eternity with the ocean forever more
You Will Not Read ThisWhen a writer puts his soul and passion into his work.More Like This
It will go unnoticed, often because of its length.
It is a rather sad fact, but a truth nonetheless.
For the simple emotions conveyed in just a few words,
Often hold more sway with those who are emotionally swayed.
There is no depth of the heart, nor a single thought spared.
For the effort placed into a piece that forgoes the winning edge,
For a hint of true meaning.
You will not read this piece and I will not expect you to.
It will not be popular or famous, nor will it see the light of day.
For length is the bane of true poetry,
And that is why so many of my kin have already left.
Thank you however, for reading this;
For you at least took the time to see what I would consider 'truth'.
It is bitter indeed and intensely sad,
But for the you that respects this, I am eternally glad.
-Chen, 23rd May 2014
This Is How I AmI speak the name that you discardedMore Like This
For the name you use now is foreign on my tongue
I wonder now, does this mean I’m a part of the past you want to leave behind?
That thought, I admit, scares me
I speak the name that you discarded
It’s more tasteful in my mouth than the latter, you see
I know you warned me
Perhaps it makes me a fool that I’ve insisted on staying
I really can’t help it though
Whatever you do to me can’t possibly be worse
Does it bother you that I stay?
What makes you so sure you’ll hurt me or drive me away?
I don’t turn on my heel and walk away so easily, you should know that by now
You’d have to really wrong me, like only a few have done so far
Does it bother you that I care?
That I stay
That I don’t want to go away, I refuse to be exact
You don’t even have to trust me, it is okay, I don’t mind
It’s a one way street; those don’t hurt me much anymore
Especially since it
What You KnowSometimes the disinfectant hurts more than the infection,More Like This
Sometimes the pain is better than the protection.
Sometimes the tears sting more than the smile,
Sometimes the yard tires more than the mile.
Sometimes the blood shines brighter than the blade,
Sometimes the heart is blacker than the spade.
Sometimes the kiss is sharper than the slap,
Sometimes the lure is worth the trap.
Sometimes the night is lighter than the day,
Sometimes the beast is weaker than the prey.
Sometimes the cut hurts less than the sob,
Sometimes the break is harder than the job.
Sometimes the lie is prettier than the truth,
Sometimes the alibi is better than the proof.
Sometimes the hate is kinder than the love,
Sometimes the buzzard is holier than the dove.
Sometimes the loser gains more than the winner,
Sometimes the saint is worse than the sinner.
Sometimes the girl is stronger than the boy,
Sometimes the child is more broken than the toy.
Sometimes the poison is sweeter than the cure,
Sometimes the dirty are
Be a phoenixI want nothing moreMore Like This
Than to be seen
For who I am
Are always telling me
Who to be
And who I am
I'll shout to the sky,
This isn't me
Only I can be me.
I'll be gone before you know
Who you think I am
Are always telling me
Who to be
And who I am
Hush be quiet
Listen for once,
To the real me
Don't fall to others
Stand on your own
You're torn to pieces
Are always telling me
Who to be
And who I am
Be a phoenix in the ground
Don't let them get you down
You are you
And no one, no one
Can ever tell you
Who you are
Show the people
Who you are.